“It’s not what you’re thinking. I didn’t know she was an escort until she showed up at my hotel room. We’d dated back in high school and I’d cheated on her back then. It’s why we broke up. Never in a million years did I think that was how we’d cross path again.”
“I see,” he said and took a sip of his coffee. “So how did that one night turn into multiple times?”
“It wasn’t a bunch of times. Just like two or three.”
“Uh huh. So after that first time, when was the last?”
“Yeah…about that,” I said, shifting in my seat. “On Friday, I went to dinner at my parents’ house and things did not go well.”
“Uh oh,” Samson said, shaking his head. “So I’m assuming you were triggered?”
“Big time.” I took a sip of my coffee before continuing. “I’d taken Aaliyah along because I thought my dad would kind of hold back since we had a guest, but it was almost as if she wasn’t there.” Samson nodded. “Anyway, we left and when I asked her if she wanted me to take her home, she said she didn’t think it was a good idea to leave me alone because she knew I’d call an escort.”
“Oh, well it’s good that she knows about you trying to recover,” Samson said, nodding his head in approval.
I chuckled nervously. “Yeah…she stayed because she said she’d rather me have her than some random woman who didn’t know how to help me.”
“Having sex with you isn’t helping you,” Samson tossed back. “Look, regardless of who it is, having sex after being triggered is still going to hinder your progress.”
“How though? I mean I know her and it doesn’t feel like I’m just having meaningless sex with someone—”
“What happens when she’s not available or not in the mood? Then you’d just go find someone else,” he mentioned, drinking more coffee. “Look, just from experience, you’re going to have to find another way to cope that isn’t sex, one that you can do that doesn’t depend on someone else being available. I mean I could just have sex with my fiancée if I’m triggered, but I don’t want the weight of that burden on her when she can’t help me. It’s not fair to her and I don’t think it’s fair for you to put that on her. I don’t think it’ll help you if you start developing feelings for her through doing that. You’re only putting yourself on the path of destruction if they’re not reciprocated.”
I sighed. He wasn’t wrong. I was already experiencing that now. Here I was thinking she and I were back on the path of building something, but she’d shattered that vision when she told me she was only trying to help.
“Okay, so I won’t have sex with her. I’ll just focus on just building a relationship with her,” I finally said.
He shook his head. “It’s not about not having sex with her. It’s not having sex with her when you’ve been triggered,” he stated. “It’ll be hard, but you’ll see how fulfilling your relationship is when sex isn’t your only coping mechanism.”
I nodded. It wouldn’t hurt to try. “That’s true. I’ll work on that.”
“Cool.” He looked at me for a few moments. “Want to talk about what happened with your dad?”
I told him everything that had happened, fighting to keep my emotions at bay to not let that situation get the best of me again. Samson listened to me with fixed concentration, his brows furrowed as I spoke. When I finished, he let out a low whistle and shook his head.
“Man, I have no idea how you still deal with him. If he were my father, we’d either have fought it out at this point or I’d cut him out of my life completely,” he said. “And then to take the firm from you? That’s ice cold, man.”
“Yeah, I know. I guess I thought working with him would give him a chance to see that I can work hard and do good. I don’t know why I’m waiting around to see if he’ll change when he’s shown no signs that he would. I think that situation was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just don’t care anymore.”
“What now?”
I stroked my chin. “I thought about what you said when we talked the first time, you know, how you cut your mom off. I’d been thinking about that a lot over the weekend.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“After talking to one of my best friends, I think he and I may just go into practice together and I can just leave the firm completely.”
Samson’s eye lit up at the news. “That’s great, man! I think once you see how much you’re capable of outside of your father’s expectations, it’ll really help you in the long run. It’s so easy to feel less than when you have someone telling you that you’re not good enough.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, tell me about it. But it’s something he and I are really considering. Both he and Aaliyah said that I have the reputation to make it on my own, but a part of me is nervous. I mean I’d be competing with my father—”
“And?” Samson waved a dismissive hand. “According to you, the man basically works you like a slave and yet that’s still not enough for him. And now you’re thinking about how going out on your own would affect him?” He shook his head. “That would be the least of my worries if I were you.”
“You’re right. What should I care? He took the firm from me, so I guess he can deal with everything else himself. I shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting something better for myself.”
“Amen to that, brother. I had to get into that same mindset when I cut my mom off. I felt guilty because I thought I was abandoning her, but I couldn’t be her verbal punching bag either. I didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve that. You’re making a great decision by working towards eliminating your main trigger. It’ll help you so much in your recovery.”
I let out a deep breath. “I sure hope so, man. At this point, I want my life to be normal.”
“Yeah, man. Time for you to settle down, get you a wife—”
“Whoa there, cowboy. Let’s not get carried away here.”
Samson smirked at me. “What? Don’t you want to settle down at some point?”
“I’m a divorce lawyer. Seeing some of the shit my clients go through makes me a bit wary when it comes to marriage,” I admitted.
“What about the girl you’re trying to get back? Do you think she’ll just settle for dating you forever?”
I fought the urge to grind my teeth. I didn’t even know if I was even going to be in a relationship with the woman, never mind trying to marry her. “I don’t know. I guess time will tell.”
“Well, when you do decide to pop the question, just know I want to be a groomsman.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Don’t hold your breath on that one.”
“Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Told my girl I’m sponsoring someone, so now she wants to meet you to make sure you’re not a woman,” he said, his eyes shining with amusement.
I chuckled. “Would she be mad if I showed up dressed like a woman?” I asked. Samson laughed.
“If you’d like your picture taken and put up on a billboard for the whole city to see, then by all means, do so,” he said. I snickered.
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that. But sure, what time?”
“7 should be fine. And while I’m thinking about it…” He pulled his phone from his pocket and began typing on it. My phone soon vibrated on the table, displaying a text message notification from him. “Went ahead and sent the address. If I didn’t do it now, I was bound to forget.”
“Thanks, I’ll definitely be there. Do I need to bring anything?”
“You don’t have to, but if you want to get on her good side automatically, she loves wine. Her favorite is Roscato,” he said with a grin. I smiled.
“Roscato it is.”
Samson looked down at his watch. “I have to head out of here, but you know you can call me if you need me,” he said as he stood. I stood and shook his outstretched hand.
“Of course. Thanks again for meeting with me.”
He waved me off. “No problem, man. That’s what sponsors are for,” he said as we walked out of
the coffee shop together. I had to be honest; I was happy to have a sponsor now. It was made a hell of a difference to be able to talk to someone who’d been in my shoes and not feel judged. I knew there were battles I’d have to face on my own, but it was comforting to know that I’d have someone to lean on when things got tough.
“See you at 7 then?” he asked as he stopped in front of his truck.
“Definitely,” I said with a parting wave before going to my own car.
*
No sooner than I arrived back home, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart sped up in my chest at the sight of a text message from Aaliyah.
Aaliyah: Are you available right now?
After the conversation we had yesterday, it didn’t seem like the best idea to invite her over here. My emotions were still all over the place over the whirlwind situation we found ourselves in, only for her to tell me that the only thing she was doing was trying to help me, not rebuild a relationship. Couldn’t be mad at her though. She’d said told me before; I just threw all caution out the window when she’d decided to stay with me Friday night.
Mason: Yeah, but it’s best to meet somewhere instead of my place.
Good thinking, Mase. Meeting her in public would hopefully give me something else to think about other than her close proximity and how I ached to touch her knowing she wasn’t mine to do so. Her reply was swift.
Aaliyah: Okay…um is the cafe beside your building okay?
Mason: Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be there in five.
Don’t have any expectations. Don’t have any expectations, I repeated in my head the entire walk to the Ritzy cafe. She sat at an outside table, waving at me when her eyes fell on me. I blew out a breath to calm my racing heart. I thought meeting her in public would’ve been easier, but I was so wrong. She stood when I approached, showing off a strapless white dress that hugged every delicious curve she had. My eyes were drawn to her breasts, my mouth watering at the thought of releasing them from her dress and playing with her nipples. She walked around the table and gave me a hug, her sweet perfume tickling my nose as she filled my space. I cleared my throat. Get your shit together, Mason.
“Thanks for meeting with me,” she said as she sat down across from me. I nodded, waiting for her to speak. She shifted nervously before me and finally met my eyes.
“I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday,” she said.
“We talked about it, didn’t we?” I asked, my tone flat.
“I…I thought about everything you said and you’re right.”
I raised an eyebrow. “About?”
“After thinking about everything that’s been happening between us since the first night in the hotel room, I can see how you think I’m giving you mixed signals. I wanted to apologize for that.”
“Like I said, I shouldn’t have assumed,” I said with a shrug, leaning back in my chair. “If you don’t want a relationship, you don’t want a relationship.”
She studied me for a few moments. “To be honest, Mason…I don’t even know what I want right now.” She ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “There’s so much going on right now and then you kind of came out of nowhere and it turned everything upside down. My mind is nervous about becoming romantically involved with you seeing that you’re still struggling with what broke us up in the first place, but my heart keeps pulling me to you.”
I leaned forward and reached for her hands. She placed them in mine, a small smile on her lips when I squeezed them gently. “I don’t blame you for feeling hesitant about being with me. Like I told you before, I’m still a work in progress, but I can promise you that you’re the only one I want. Back then I was young and dumb and didn’t think about the consequences of my actions, but I won’t make the same mistake twice when it comes to you.” I kissed the back of her hand gently. “We don’t have to jump into a relationship right now. We can be friends if that’s what you want. Whatever you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
“So…let’s start completely over,” she said, a slow smile pulling on her lips.
“How do you want to start over?”
“Like getting to know each other as we are now; we’re not kids anymore. We’ve both changed so much and so much has happened since we’ve last seen each other. So let’s go out on dates, have fun, and just…rebuild what we used to have but make it better.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Okay,” she said, excitement reflecting in her eyes. “So ‘friend,’ if you’re not too busy this upcoming week, maybe we can hang out or something?”
I chuckled. “Sure, beautiful. I think an arcade will be a nice place to hang out at.”
She scoffed and pulled her hands away. “You think that’s a good idea when we’re supposed to be starting over? I’d really hate for you to be mad at me when I kick your ass. You were always terrible at arcade games.”
“Woman, I’m a grown man now. I’ve had plenty of time to work on my game.” My gaze raked over her, satisfaction flowing through me when she blushed. “But don’t wear anything that’ll distract me.”
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t think dressing sexy to an arcade where children will be is in my best interest,” she said and smirked.
“Well, work is going to be pretty hectic this week, so is Friday night at seven good?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“So it’s a date.”
She lowered her eyes, a soft smile on her lips. “I guess it’s a date.”
Chapter 10
Samson’s house was a quaint cottage-style single family home that rested in the middle of two other houses in a cul-de-sac. Kids dribbled a ball in the circle, shooting it in a basketball hoop that stood in the next driveway. They moved to the side as I pulled up, parking behind Samson’s F150. I grabbed the bottle of wine and got out, taking in my surroundings. Although he was only ten minutes outside of the city limits, it was almost as if he lived in another world. Other than the basketball kids, everything was peaceful and quiet, even the crickets seeming a little too loud. Lush, tall trees lined the backyards of all three houses, modern street lamps at the end of the driveways clicking on at the same time as if on cue.
“Are you going to have dinner outside or do you want to come in?” Samson joked from the doorway. I chuckled and walked up the driveway to meet him, shaking his outstretched hand when I approached him.
“I almost want to sell my place to get a place out here. I’d kill for the peace and quiet out here.”
Samson nodded as he stepped aside. “Yeah, it’s nice out here. It’s like country living, but we still have easy access to the city when we’re looking for some fun.”
The smell of dinner smacked me in the face as soon as I was inside, my stomach growling in anticipation. “Damn. It smells good in here,” I said.
“Yeah, Faith likes to show off when we have company,” he joked and turned toward the kitchen. “Baby! Come here a second!”
“Hold on!” she called back. Samson nodded toward the wine I held in my hand.
“She’s going to love you for bringing that,” he said.
“Hey, first impressions are important, right?” I said just as his fiancée entered the living room. She was a bit on the plain side, her jet-black hair tied into a low ponytail at the base of her neck. She didn’t wear makeup and only had on a black and white striped shirt and a pair of jean shorts with bare feet. She was about a foot shorter than I was and didn’t really have curves that could possibly tempt an addict. She was safe; someone decent enough to want to be around, but easy to keep control around. Stop criticizing the woman. She isn’t yours anyway for it to matter what she looks like. As she approached me, I could see what drew Samson to her. Her smile was beautiful and infectious, making you feel calm as you looked at her. She had this air about her that everything would be okay when she was around.
“You must be Mason,” she said, offering her hand. Her voice was soft and sweet, like a soothing balm. “I’m Faith.”
She smirked at him as he moved to stand next to her. “Hopefully good things,” she said.
“Of course, baby,” he said, kissing her cheek.
“Oh, I heard you liked wine, so I brought you this,” I said, presenting her the bottle of wine.
“Aw, thank you. You really didn’t have to, but I’m so glad you did,” she said with a bright smile and looked at the bottle. “And it’s my favorite! Did Samson tell you to bring this to butter me up?”
I chuckled. “He may have put a little bug in my ear,” I said, laughing when he playfully pushed me. “It smells amazing in here. What’s for dinner?”
“Since you’re joining us, I decided that this would be a perfect time for me to show off what I’ve learned in Gordon Ramsey’s Masterclass. I’m preparing steaks, garlic mashed potatoes from scratch, and sautéed asparagus,” she said proudly.
“Steaks? I feel special,” I joked.
She giggled and waved me off. “I should be thanking you for giving me the opportunity to do it. Grouchy here is perfectly content with tv dinners if I let him feed himself.”
“Hey, sometimes a simple dinner is all my stomach can handle after being out in the heat all day,” Samson protested. Faith kissed him.
“Well, I’m going to go finish cooking. Everything should be done in about twenty minutes or so,” she said and looked to me. “How do you like your steak?”
“Medium is fine,” I said. She nodded and skipped off down the hall to the kitchen. I looked around the living room. The hardwood floors shined despite the dim lighting. The brown and cream colors of the furniture and decor was warm, making the space feel inviting. A cream sectional couch sat next to me, a black modern ottoman in front of it instead of a coffee table. Six contemporary mirrors with gray borders hung on the wall behind the couch, a painting of the Greenville skyline on the wall beside it. Dark brown end tables on either side of the section held a shiny silver lamp with white shades, small electric candles sitting beside it.
Lawfully Screwed (Lawful Affair) Page 12