by S. J. West
“No,” I said, filled with determination. “You stay with me. You only need to fight a little longer. Then we’ll be together forever.”
I rocked her in the crook of my arm and tried to think of something, anything to give her a reason to stay alive. A memory from my own childhood flashed in my mind. Whenever I was sick or frightened, my mother would sing to me. I didn’t remember many songs but knew of one I had just heard recently.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring…
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass…
She smiled then as if she understood what I was trying to do. Her eyes closed slowly, and her fingers lost their grip around my finger. With one last shuddering breath, her body went completely limp in my arms.
Instantly, I saw the light of Hope’s soul leave her body and hover in front of me as if she were saying one last good-bye. Her soul crept closer to me and then suddenly passed through my body, making me feel the pureness of her love for me and how much she wanted me to finally find peace.
I fell to my knees holding Hope’s lifeless body to my chest. Tears of loss and newfound hope streamed down my face. In that moment, I felt like my heart was outside my body too, exposed to the world as it grieved over the loss of such an innocent and pure soul. Hope’s last gift to me broke down the barrier I had been hiding behind. A protective wall meant to separate me, the Harvester, from me, the human. My resolve to keep the two parts of myself separate completely shattered, and I knew it was only because Hope had found a way to share her undying love for me.
I wasn’t just a Harvester, and I wasn’t just human. I was both. A fact I felt sure the Queen knew all too well. Even though she tried to make Harvesters believe they were superior to humans, she knew the line of distinction was blurry. The power of strength and immortality Harvesters felt blinded them to their human side, at least enough to make them accept her brainwashing mantra that human emotions made you weak. But now, I knew the truth.
I felt a warm hand tentatively touch my shoulder. When I looked beside me, I saw Jace’s concerned face.
Without saying anything, I stood, still cradling Hope in my arms and let him wrap us both in his warmth. I let my soul cry out its anguish while he held me close, providing me a safe haven to relinquish my pain. Once my tears were spent, the story of my life as a Harvester spilled out of me. Jace listened to it all without saying a word. I wasn’t sure what he would think of me afterwards, but I knew I had to tell him everything. I didn’t want there to be any secrets between us, and he needed to know the type of person I was now. I would never be the girl he said he was in love with, and he needed to decide for himself whether or not he could accept the new me.
After I spilled my heart out to him, he remained silent. I pulled away from him to look at his face and wasn’t prepared for what I saw in his eyes: utter devastation.
“Do you hate me now?” I asked, needing to know if I had forever changed his feelings for me.
“It would take a lot more than what you just told me to hate you,” he replied.
“Can you still love me?”
“It would take a lot more than what you just told me to make me stop loving you too.”
My heart felt lighter, free of the burden of my regrets and filled with the promise of love I saw on Jace’s face.
I looked down at Hope’s peaceful face and silently thanked her for showing me who I truly was. She had given me back my life, and I would never forget her for it. I was filled with an intense determination to make sure her sacrifice hadn’t been in vain and knew I would keep the love her soul shared with me in my heart forever.
“How did you find me?” I finally asked Jace.
Jace looked behind me, causing me to follow his gaze, and I saw Rose standing a few yards away in the middle of the road. I felt an instant rage and stormed up to her, slapping her hard across the face with all my anger.
“Why didn’t you do something?” I yelled at her. “You knew where I was. You could have saved her!”
Rose held a trembling hand to her face over where I hit her, tears brimming in her eyes.
“I couldn’t save her,” she said.
“Why? Because my future self said you couldn’t? Can’t you think for yourself you goddamn coward?”
“Skye …” I heard Jace say behind me, warning me I had gone too far.
Tears spilled from Rose’s eyes. “I couldn’t save her because she needed to save you.”
“Don’t do that,” I warned her, taking a step back from her before I hit her again. “Don’t you dare put the blame of her death on me!”
“Her death was no one’s fault,” Rose said, dropping her hand to her side and taking a step toward me. “Hope’s fate was to show you your humanity again. Even if I had taken her to a doctor, it was never her destiny to live out a normal life. She was meant to help you realize who you are, so you can save the world.”
I felt my anger toward Rose slowly ebb away because I knew she was right. It made perfect sense, even though I hated to admit it to myself. It seemed we all had our parts to play if the world was to be saved, even if we didn’t like them.
Before I knew it, Simon appeared with Zoe by his side.
As soon as I saw Zoe, I walked over to her.
“I wasn’t able to save her,” I said, taking the full responsibility of Hope’s death on my shoulders.
Zoe held out her arms, and I placed Hope in them for one last time.
As Zoe held her daughter close, she began to cry the tears only a mother can shed over the loss of a child. I hesitated before taking her in my arms, much like Jace had, and letting her use me as her anchor while her world spun out of control. I didn’t try to console her with words and convince her Hope’s death was meant to be. It would have just been too cruel. Instead, I simply held her and joined in her grief.
Eventually, Rose and Simon helped everyone reach Michael’s camp. We held a funeral for Hope on a small hill within the compound. Michael promised to erect a monument to her there when the war was over.
With the mention of the war, I knew my work had just begun. We would need to find a way to defeat the Queen and discover a way to bring sunlight back to the world.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
After the funeral, I was surprised to see Simon and Rose stick around for our first strategy meeting on how to defeat the Queen.
“If we could just kill the bitch, things would be so much easier,” Michael said as we all sat around a table in his office.
“Why can’t you?” Zoe asked.
I explained to her about the artificial ozone layer protecting what was left of the world and the consequences of killing the Queen.
“So we can’t just kill her,” I finished. “If we do, she’ll take the rest of the world with her.”
Zoe sat silently, seeming to be lost in her own thoughts as we discussed what needed to be done next.
“We should hurt her where it counts,” I said. “She showed me where all of her important installations are.”
“She let you look at the map?” Michael questioned, suddenly becoming excited. “She doesn’t show that to anyone.”
“I guess she trusted me.”
“What did you do to earn that trust?” Michael questioned.
“Things I would rather not talk about right now. They’re not important anyway.”
“We don’t need to dwell on things from the past,” Jace said, coming to my defense. “We need to look at what we can do to ensure our future.”
“I have an idea.” Zoe’s words were so soft we almost didn’t hear them.
“What’s your idea, Zo?” I asked.
“Kill the Queen.”
“We just told you why we can’t do that,” I said patiently.
“You can if I replace her shield
with one of my own.”
“Can you do that?” Ian questioned. “You think you can make one that big?”
“I won’t know until I try.”
“She’ll be able to make a large enough one,” Simon chimed in completely confident.
“And it holds?” I asked, knowing if he and Rose said it would work, then it would.
“Yes, it will stay up for many years to come. After you bring down the Queen’s shield, sunlight will come back, but my mother won’t be able to do it alone. Rose and I will have to help her.”
“But won’t that be kinda hard for you people to do?” Michael asked. “Standing there for so long?”
“No,” a new voice in the room said.
We all turned to find the new addition to our group and found an older man standing by the office door. Jace made to stand up, thinking we had been infiltrated, but I grabbed his arm before he could leave the table.
“It’s Ash,” I said.
Ash came to stand behind his children.
“Once they combine their power,” the older Ash said, “the shield they make will grow exponentially and almost cover everything the Queen’s shield does now. After they do that, I’ll place them in stasis like Zoe was when Skye first found her. All we have to do is get them close to where the Queen’s shield emanates from now.”
“I know where that is,” I said, remembering its location from her map. “I can get us there.”
I looked at the older Ash and asked, “After we kill the Queen and dismantle her shield, how long will they have to keep their shield in place?”
“A long time,” Ash answered. “You will have passed away by the time they’re able to come out of stasis.”
I heard Zoe’s sharp intake of breath.
“No,” I said, not willing to have Zoe ripped from my life, “there has to be another way.”
“There is no other way.” This time it was Rose who answered. “We’ve known this was our fate since we were children. You helped prepare us for this. We’re ready.”
“But what if I’m not?” I said, feeling close to tears.
“Skye.” Zoe took hold of my hand. It was the first time I noticed the wrinkles and brown spots on her skin, a sure sign of aging. “You know I’m dying. At least my life will have meant something if I do this.”
I knew Zoe would be dead within a year’s time. Her accelerated aging hadn’t stopped. It seemed as though the pregnancy had done what the Queen predicted and worsened it.
“But I don’t want to lose you,” I said, feeling the warmth of my tears trail down my cheeks.
“You won’t lose me completely.” Zoe smiled at me with wisdom far beyond her years. “You’ll have my children to raise for me. There’s no one in the world I trust more than you to take care of them.” Zoe looked at Simon and Rose. “And look what a great job you did. They’re everything I could ever hope them to be.”
“Then I guess it’s settled,” Michael said, standing from his chair. “Show me where we need to go, Skye, and I’ll make the arrangements.”
After I showed Michael where the shield was located, I noticed older Ash give Rose and Simon a hug, something the younger Ash was unable to do just yet. I assumed that meant Ash would be able to control his powers better in time. When Rose and Simon left to go back to their own timelines and make their good-byes, older Ash pulled Zoe off to the side. I heard him tell her he needed to speak with her about something but was unable to hear anything more after they left.
“We should be able to have things ready by the morning,” Michael said, folding up the map from his desk. “Why don’t the two of you go on and try to take your minds off of things until then?”
I suddenly found Jace grabbing my hand and pulling me after him out of the office with Ian chuckling knowingly behind us.
“Well, I wonder what he has on his mind,” I heard Michael say as we made our way out of the room.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked Jace.
“No questions.” He smiled mischievously back at me as we raced down the stairs of the building to the outside. “It’s a surprise.”
If I hadn’t been a Harvester, I’m not sure I would have been able to keep up with Jace’s quick pace. He acted like the devil himself was nipping at our heels. We traveled to the other side of the compound to a street lined with small houses. I assumed this was where the military families used to live when the station was operational.
Jace stopped at the door of one of the homes and lifted me into his arms.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked, unable to stop myself from laughing at his outrageous behavior.
“Welcoming you home,” he said before opening the door and stepping over the threshold.
We entered a small living room with a brick fireplace on the far wall and a space off to the side that seemed to be the designated dining area. The walls were painted off white and the furnishings were made of a homey brown suede.
We also found an unexpected visitor waiting for us. Standing in the middle of the living room was older Ash.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I’m intruding, but I need to speak with you.”
Jace set me on my feet and closed the door behind us.
“What do you need to tell me?” I asked.
“I’m actually here to speak with Jace,” Ash said.
As we walked over to Ash, Jace said, “What about?”
“I wanted to ask you to be the father to my children.”
“But the younger version of you is still around,” Jace said. “Won’t he get mad about that?”
“He will at first, until he realizes it’s the best thing for them.” Ash looked at me. “Remember me telling you that my time jumps were linked to my emotions?”
“Yes.”
“I won’t be able to control them until I’m much older. Even though I want to be with Rose and Simon and help raise them, they’ll never know me as their father until much later in their lives. If I’ve learned anything from our time at the breeding camp, it’s that having two parents who love you more than anything and who will protect you against everything is important to kids. You and I know that all too well.”
I nodded my agreement, too choked up with emotion to say anything.
Ash looked back at Jace. “You are a good man. And I already know what a great father you will be to my kids, but I felt I should ask you in person to do me this favor.”
Jace held his hand out to Ash. Ash clasped it in between both of his hands.
“I would be honored to stand in your place until you can,” Jace said. “And know that I will do my best to raise them with Skye the way you and Zoe would want.”
“You do,” Ash said with a sad smile. “You’ll both raise them well.”
Ash let go of Jace’s hand and looked back at me. “My younger counterpart may say some harsh things to you,” he warned me. “But just know he doesn’t mean them. He’s just jealous because he can’t have you for himself. He’ll come to realize you were never meant to be together. Jace is the man you’re supposed to be with.”
“How long will it take for him to realize that?” I asked.
“A while.” Ash smiled, chagrined. “Just be patient with me, Skye. I’ll come around to understanding your choice eventually. Remember that when I’m being a complete ass to you though.”
“I’ll try,” I said, now dreading the next time I saw the Ash from my present.
“Anyway, I should be getting back to Zoe. I never got to hold Simon and Rose when they were babies. This’ll be my only chance to be with all of them while they’re young.”
“Will I see you again?” I asked. “This version of you anyway.”
“No, you won’t see me like this again after I put Zoe and the kids into stasis. I have my own life in the future to get back to. One I don’t want to miss out on.” Ash put his hands on mine and Jace’s shoulders. “Take care of one another. Stay strong and win this war.”
Ash disappeared.
>
Jace and I sat down on the couch together. We were silent for a long time, both thinking about what Ash had said to us.
“So not only do we have to save the world,” Jace finally said, “but we just became parents too.” He sighed heavily. “I think the parent thing scares me more.”
I looked at him and saw the worry on his face. I couldn’t stop myself from bursting out in laughter. He soon joined me.
After we settled down, Jace gently lifted one of my hands and brought it to his lips. I turned into him and soon found myself enveloped in his warm embrace. His lips met mine tentatively as we slowly reminded each other of what the others lips tasted like.
Before I knew it, Jace laid me down on the couch with his body pressed in close to mine, deepening our kiss to fully express all of his pent up yearnings. I ran my fingers through his hair to the back of his neck urging him even closer, needing to feel the heat of him against me. I ran my hands up the warm flat planes of his back underneath his shirt and found the material too confining. In one swift movement, I tore the material straight down the middle, exposing the muscular expanse of his back for further exploration. Jace moaned against my mouth and quickly shed the rest of the shirt, allowing me free reign to run my hands over his chest and abdomen.
Breathing heavily, Jace pulled his lips away from mine and looked into my eyes.
“If you don’t want to go any further,” he said, “we should probably stop now. Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll be able to.”
“I thought you said you would remember,” I said, wrapping my legs around his hips feeling the proof of his desire against me.
“Remember what?” he asked, trembling slightly as I moved my hips against his slowly.
“I told you the next time I offered myself to you not to think so much,” I gently scolded, reminding him of my words not so long ago when we were in a similar situation.
Jace grinned and lifted me up in one quick motion, my legs stilled wrapped around him.
I didn’t hear any more stupid questions for the rest of the night.
I woke up the next morning with my legs tangled up in the white sheets on the bed. Jace lay next to me still sleeping and snoring softly. I lay there with my head on the pillow staring at his handsome profile and watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. The night before had been perfect in every way. Jace had been attentive and gentle in his lovemaking, showing me without words how much he treasured me. If anyone had been the aggressor, it had been me. Sometimes his slow advances drove me insane, and I had to take things into my own hands, as it were.