Letters from Skye

by Jessica Brockmole

  I have a new set of chalks for Christmas, for drawing, but the rest of my gifts were unhappily practical—socks, three new spoons, a giant washtub. Tennis racket? I’ve never played, but it certainly sounds more exciting than a washtub.

  Elspeth

  Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.

  February 14, 1914

  Dear Sue,

  I’ve just gotten back from a ski trip to Ishpeming, Michigan, with a few friends, which is why I’m a bit tardy in my response to you. Not only was your letter waiting for me when I got home, but I also had a letter from Harry. He’s proposed that I sail over to England, go on a sort of valedictory tour of Britain with him, before sailing back to the States together. I don’t know the precise itinerary yet, but Harry is talking about heading up to Edinburgh in our rambles. This is probably a wild idea, but, Sue, you should come to meet me! I know, a bit of a lark, but you have until June to figure out a way to get yourself on that ferry. May I suggest a great deal of whisky?

  Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

  David

  Isle of Skye

  10 March 1914

  David,

  Are you completely mad? You think you’ll be able to do what all my family and friends have been unable to do? My whole life, no one has been able to get me onto a boat. But you think you’ll succeed where others have failed? You think the lure of David is greater than the lure of university? My, but you are the cocky one!

  Elspeth

  Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.

  March 26, 1914

  Sue,

  You forget, my father is a doctor. I have ether.

  David

  Isle of Skye

  11 April 1914

  My dear boy,

  Not nearly enough.

  E

  Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.

  April 28, 1914

  Dear Sue,

  Plans are afoot! Itineraries are set, tickets are bought, rooms at the Langham in London booked, and I am ready to step on that boat. The question is, dear Sue, are you?

  Surely you are just as curious as I am to see who is at the other end of that pen-and-paper. You’re both scientist and artist, realist and dreamer. Curiosity is your middle name.

  David

  Isle of Skye

  6 May 1914

  Dear David,

  Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen my niece and nephews in Edinburgh. They would adore a visit from their auntie, wouldn’t they?

  I will expect that ether posted with your next letter. Buckets of it.

  E

  Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.

  May 21, 1914

  Sue,

  Be still my beating heart! Can it be true? Sue is going to brave the ocean for me?

  If all goes well, we should be arriving in Edinburgh on the sixteenth. I know I won’t be able to wait a moment longer than that. The seventeenth at noon? St. Mary’s Cathedral on York Place?

  Crossing everything I’ve got,

  David

  POST OFFICE TELEGRAPHS

  SRP 5.55 EDINBURGH 25

  18 JUNE 14

  E. DUNN ISLE OF SKYE=

  WAITED IN CATHEDRAL AS PLANNED WHERE ARE YOU

  PLEASE REPLY=

  DAVID CALEDONIAN HOTEL+

  Liverpool, England, United Kingdom

  June 22, 1914

  What happened, Sue? I thought we had a deal. Did that ferry prove too much for you? You’re lucky I’m not one to hold a grudge. But you do realize that, at the very least, you owe me an explanation! One that doesn’t involve a ravaging water horse.

  The trip has been great. Harry and I have had years to catch up on. He’s not been the best of correspondents and, you may be surprised to hear, neither have I. You seem to inspire something special that makes me never run out of things to say.

  Harry has got himself a sweetheart, Minna, a demure young lady who writes the most saccharine verse. I met her: very polite but quite flirtatious. She spent half the time discussing the weather and the price of tea in a precise, clipped accent and the other half trying to get Harry alone in the many corners of her parents’ vast house. She’s only eighteen, so no matter how much the rest of his anatomy was telling him otherwise, his head cooled long enough for him to decide not to pop the question just yet. He’s heading back to the States to start medical school and a savings account. In the meantime, he hopes (although not too ardently!) that she develops at least one other skill or passion aside from trying to maneuver him into the bedroom at every opportunity. Harry’s not holding his breath that Minna will be faithful, but we drank a toast to her trying anyway.

  The cities we visited were lovely, but, truth to tell, I could’ve been back in Urbana and it would’ve been fine, as long as I was with Harry. Does that sound overly sentimental? He’s started smoking a pipe and writing poetry (is everyone a poet these days?). Aside from that, he’s the same old Harry, and we felt like little boys. I’m sure there were some occasions where we acted like little boys too.

  We’re getting ready to board the ship, but I wanted to write so I could mail this before I left Great Britain. I have a few more souvenirs to buy before we leave. I asked Florence what she wanted me to bring her back from my trip and she firmly requested an English pony. I don’t think a pony would fit in my stateroom (that’s what I get for sailing second class!), but how could I refuse the wishes of my favorite little girl?

  Harry is going to send one more cable to Minna and has offered to drop this letter by the post office for me, so I’ll close for now. I’ll be looking for a letter full of fervent explanations and humble apologies from you! No more secrets, Sue!

  David

  Isle of Skye

  3 July 1914

  David,

  I must say, I was amazed to get a letter from you so quickly; then I noticed you had mailed it from England, so it didn’t have as far to go as usual.

  You have every right to be angry at me, Davey. We had an agreement. Goodness, you traveled across an ocean to meet me. All I had to do was ferry across the sound.

  What is my excuse, you may rightly ask? My old fear would be a handy one, for sure. But, alas, my fears in this case are sillier, perhaps even a bit more primitive. I’m afraid that, if we meet, the mystery will be gone. We might not get along the way we do on paper. What if our conversation doesn’t flow like this in person?

  You were waiting in St. Mary’s Cathedral to meet an ideal of Elspeth Dunn. I didn’t want you to be disappointed with the real thing. What if you thought I was too short? Or too old? Or you didn’t like the sound of my voice? I just want to keep things the way they are, where I’m mysterious and, I hope, interesting.

  I really did intend to come, though. Trust me in that, Davey.

  As long as you think I’m keeping secrets, I have another one. But this one I’ll keep close for a bit, for I know that you won’t be able to stop laughing once you hear.

  Harry sounds like a simply splendid friend. I would say that I hope to meet him someday, but I suppose I can’t do that without meeting you—and we’ve already gone over that!

  Elspeth

  P.S. I truly hope that not everyone has become a poet, else I’ll be out of a job!

  Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.

  July 15, 1914

  Sue, Sue, you funny thing. Did you never stop to think that perhaps I worried about the same “what-ifs”? Avoiding a face-to-face meeting was to my advantage. You wouldn’t see how big my feet are or how clumsy I am when off the dance floor. I think you have a good opinion of me now (aside from my taste in jackets, I suppose). After all, I’m devilishly handsome. Wickedly clever. Witty and utterly brilliant. Why would I want to jeopardize that? All those illusions could vanish the moment we said hello. But for the elusive chance to meet you… all of those apprehensions pale in comparison.

  We’ve been writing for, what, two years now? (I say that with a bit of nonchalance, as though I haven’t saved every letter you’ve ever sent.) Really, can there still be my
stery after all of that time? We’ve told our deepest fears, confessed our secret longings. I know you, Sue, and I think you know me too. If I were sitting in front of you, saying this right now, I should hope my words wouldn’t mean less just because you disliked the sound of my Midwestern accent.

  Think about when you first meet a person, Sue. You have to get past all the superficial nonsense, the appraisals of accents and checked jackets. An interrogation of appearance. After you’ve deemed each other worthy, then you can actually settle down to get acquainted, to begin those first tentative probes of the mind. Find out what sort of thing fuels the other—what makes them scream, what makes them laugh, what makes them tremble on the rug. You and I are lucky. We never had to worry about the first part, the visual sizing up. We got to go directly to the interesting bit. The getting to know the depths and breadths of each other’s soul.

  I don’t know about you, but I find it refreshing. I am sick to death of having to worry whether people think I look old enough or respectable enough or whatnot. Always having to be polite and look interested. When I write to you, I don’t have to think about any of that nonsense. I don’t have to worry about my big feet. I can peel away the husk (if you will forgive a corn metaphor) and reveal the shiny kernels of my dreams and passions and fears. They are yours, Sue, yours to gnaw on as you will! Marvelous with a sprinkle of salt.

  Now, after all that, you must tell me your new secret. I can promise that I won’t laugh. At least not loud enough that you could hear me from Chicago….

  I’m starting to nod off and so pulled out my watch. I’m not going to admit to how early in the morning it is, but the streets have long been quiet. I hope you’re sleeping a bit more soundly than I am right now!

  David

  Isle of Skye

  18 August 1914

  Davey,

  What is the world coming to?

  Eight weeks ago, I stood on the pier, trying to find the nerve to step on that ferry. I kept my eyes on that horizon, knowing that if I went to meet it, to meet you, everything would change. Not necessarily in the going, but in the leaving. Women like me don’t go across the water to rendezvous with fascinating Americans. They wait at home for their husbands’ boats to return.

  So I went back to my cottage, to reread your letters and pretend I didn’t almost get on that ferry. To wait for Iain to return from chasing the herring up the Minch. To think of a way to tell him that, after so many years, I was pregnant.

  The day he came home, I was out hanging the wash in the garden, ankle-deep in mud. He stepped through the gate, dropped his seabag, and said grimly, “We’re at war.”

  Everything felt so cold, Davey, my news forgotten. I asked who he meant by “we,” but he just handed me a newspaper.

  Four days before, Great Britain declared war on Germany. While I had sat alone in my cottage, reading through old letters and fortifying my heart, the world went to war.

  He said he was joining up as soon as he could pack. He’d only just come home and he was leaving again. And for what? What makes him think this war has anything to do with him? With our island? With us? “Our world has already vanished,” he said. “I can’t get it back, but I’ll sure as hell try to keep the rest from going to pieces.”

  He was so calm, Davey. I remember looking over his shoulder while he was talking and noticing a gull flying, as if in slow motion. Even the sheep quieted. The whole island slowing down to listen to his pronouncement. As if it made sense! And I felt a pain deep inside; I was sure it was the proverbial “heart breaking.”

  Later that day I found that I had lost the bairn I’d been carrying. A bairn unasked for, but, truly, not unwanted. I’d had time to grow accustomed to the idea, but now, gone, with just a feeling of emptiness left behind. Perhaps I was right all along. Perhaps the universe never meant for me to be a mother. Just like that, I lost my husband, my child, and the peaceful world I had known. The next week, Iain marched off with Finlay and the other Territorials for training.

  Oh, Davey, I need a letter from you. I need a kind word, I need a funny word, I need a picture of you in a silly checked jacket. I need to forget that all this is happening.

  Elspeth

  Chapter Eight

  Margaret

  Edinburgh

  Wednesday, 24 July 1940

  Dear Sir,

  I apologise for this unexpected letter. I’m not even sure that I am writing to the right Finlay Macdonald.

  I have reason to believe that you may be my uncle. My mother is Elspeth Dunn, once of Skye, currently of Edinburgh. My cousin Emily Macdonald (Alasdair’s daughter) passed this address on to me after meeting you once in Glasgow. I have never met either of my uncles, and I would like to become better acquainted.

  May I write to you?

  Sincerely,

  Margaret Dunn

  Glasgow

  25 July

  Margaret,

  Haven’t you already done that?

  Finlay Macdonald

  27 July 1940

  Dear Maisie,

  I’m airborne again! And not a moment too soon. We’re being hit all over the place down here in the south. I was really chafing being on the ground. How is it up in Edinburgh?

  Have you sent the letter to your uncle? Any reply yet?

  Love,

  Paul

  Edinburgh

  Monday, 29 July 1940

  Dear Paul,

  He wrote. In a way. And, I suppose, by not disagreeing with me or completely disregarding me, he’s confirmed that, yes, he is indeed the Finlay Macdonald in question. When I asked if I may write to him, his only response was, “Haven’t you already done that?” Truly, he must be my uncle. He has Mother’s prickly wit.

  I won’t write back to him. I’d be weighing each and every word to be absolutely sure he wouldn’t make fun of it. And that’s far too much work. Why couldn’t I have a long-lost uncle who declares me his sole heir or bestows upon me his priceless collection of artefacts from the South Seas, as in the books? Or, at the very least, inhabits an insane asylum. I’m sure I read a story like that once. Insane asylum, I think I could stomach. But a stinging reply? I think not.

  Margaret

  P.S. Don’t ask about Edinburgh. A 1,000-pound bomb on Albert Dock, incendiaries all along the railway lines and in Granton. If Mother were here, she’d be a wreck. And now I have to worry about you too. Please be careful.

  31 July 1940

  Dear Maisie,

  Where’s that sense of adventure I love so much? Where’s that curiosity to see what’s beyond the next peak, the willingness to hurtle headlong into any situation if it means it may make you breathless for at least a moment? I always say to the other lads around here that, if my fiancée were a man, she’d give them all a run for their money up here in the air.

  Don’t you worry about me for a single second. I keep a snapshot of you in my pocket, and, when I look upon your bonny eyes, that’s all the luck I need.

  You do realise, his reluctance to write you a proper reply hints at an even better story. Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot!

  Love,

  Paul

  Edinburgh

  Friday, 2 August 1940

  Dear Paul,

  I’ll do it. For you. But only for you.

  Maisie

  Edinburgh

  Friday, 2 August 1940

  Dear Sir,

  Or should I say “Uncle Finlay”?

  I must admit to being puzzled by your reply. Was it a dismissal? Discouragement? Tacit permission to write again?

  Please, I have so many questions about my mother, things she’s never told me. You don’t have to join me for tea or come to my wedding. Just a few moments of your time to write and tell me about my mother. Help me fill in the blanks from the “first volume” of her life.

  Appreciatively,

  Margaret Dunn

  Glasgow

  3 August

  Margaret,

  Have you considered th
at your mother has kept that book closed for a reason?

  Have you also considered that a man alone may just want to be left alone?

  Really, I have nothing to say about Elspeth that you’d want to hear. Sometimes not even years can erase disappointment.

  Finlay Macdonald

  Edinburgh

  Monday, 5 August 1940

  Dear Uncle Finlay,

  I don’t mean to sprinkle salt on old wounds. Truly, I don’t. I don’t wish to pry into your personal business. I just want to know my mother better. And I believe you’re just as curious about her now as I am about her then, else you wouldn’t have replied. Twice.

  So, to repay your anticipated kindness, I’ll tell you something about my mother every time you tell me something. Tit for tat.

  Sincerely,

  Margaret Dunn

  Glasgow

  6 August

  Margaret,

  Tit for tat. In the trenches, we used to call that “live and let live.” If the Boche did not fire, we did not fire. We left them a few moments of peace at times, and they left us with a wee bit of peace in return. Of course, Command didn’t agree with this. They told us to fire first, to keep the enemy on edge. To convince them to leave us alone.