“I’m so happy for you, Steph,” Asha said. “Buster’s such a nice guy.”
Steph nodded, picking at another blueberry.
“But?”
Steph met her sister’s penetrating stare. “You know me far too well.”
“I do, and I also know that it doesn’t matter how perfect Buster is, you’re going to have reservations. You’re probably going to tell yourself that you don’t deserve happiness because of what happened and that you aren’t ready to give yourself to someone again after the way Dylan treated you. Am I right?”
Steph laughed. “No, but they are good points. I’d better add them to my list.” She wasn’t being entirely truthful. Both had crossed her mind. She had already decided she needed to push past the idea that she didn’t deserve to enjoy her life because she couldn’t help Holly. She was sure Buster’s daughter would want to see her father happy, and if she was the one to help with that happiness, then that was a bonus.
“Okay, so what is it then?”
“A feeling.”
Asha rolled her eyes. “Here we go. Some deep dark yogi feeling that’s going to make you throw away something before you even allow it to start.”
Steph’s mouth dropped open. “I don’t do that. And anyway, my feeling is based on how the day turned out yesterday. Regardless of whether or not I can overcome my issues about relationships and what I do or don’t deserve, I don’t think Buster’s ready.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh.”
“Because of his past?”
Steph nodded. “We were having a really nice time yesterday, and I mentioned his visits to the prison and how he seemed more relaxed since he’d been. That maybe forgiving Eve has helped him to release a lot of the anger he was feeling. It was just an observation. He practically froze when I mentioned her. He went from being happy and chatty to speaking in monosyllables. I get that it might be difficult, but he’s still so damaged.”
“Everyone’s got baggage,” Asha said. “It just depends on whether you’re up for helping him with his.”
“That’s the problem,” Steph said. “We still had a nice day, but a wall went up. One that I knew he didn’t want me to cross again.” She sighed. “I like him, Ash. I do. But I haven’t even figured myself out since the accident. In the sessions I had with Dan, he suggested I need a change of scenery. That I get away from Hope’s Ridge and all reminders of the accident. To try to have a fresh start beyond Hope’s Ridge and start enjoying life again. I don’t think dating the father of the child who was killed was part of that suggestion.”
Asha reached across the table and squeezed Steph’s arm. “You’re the only person who can decide what you think is best for you, Steph. You’ve got a lot going on at the moment. You’ve only just started seeing Buster. It’s too early to be making any decisions about it.”
“I know. I’m jumping way ahead of myself. I guess I suddenly feel like things are crashing down on me. First Heat Wave, now a possible relationship.” She gave a wry grin. “I do a lot better when the only decision I have to make is which tea to drink at three a.m.”
“Imagine this scenario before the accident,” Asha said. “What would you have done if Bodhi had offered you the business then. Or Matt had offered you the same deal. Do you think you would have taken it on?”
“I’m not sure. I was seriously considering traveling. Dylan and I had talked about going to India and parts of Southeast Asia.”
“Do you still want to do that now?”
Steph shook her head. “I honestly don’t know what I want. I’ve been so busy just getting through each day up until recently. I haven’t been planning ahead.”
“Then maybe you should consider reverting to that strategy. Just taking each day as it comes. You’ve rammed into me for as long as I can remember that I need to be patient, and that I can’t control how things are going to unfold. I think maybe you should be taking your own advice.”
Steph pretended to pout. “It’s so much easier dishing out advice, Ash. You should know that.”
Their laughter was interrupted by the arrival of the construction crew at the worksite across the road. Charlie was out front, gesturing with his hands to the driver of a crane.
“I seem to be the only one stuck in the same place,” Steph said. “Matt’s constantly developing things, you’re moving ahead with the Irresistables expansion, Jenna’s engaged and will soon be married. Even Charlie, at ninety-six, has embraced a new project. I’m thirty-two and need to work out how to be an adult.”
“I think you’ve worked it out, Steph, but now you need to let it unfold. Don’t rush to make decisions or judgments just yet. You need more data. You might have hit a nerve with Buster about his ex. As you get to know him more, you’ll learn more about which topics are best to avoid. And to be honest, anything to do with exes is usually a good starting point for avoidance.”
❖
Buster considered calling in sick on Monday morning. He pulled a pillow over his face when his alarm sounded and groaned. He’d arrived back from his date with Steph feeling considerably less excited than he had before going. He’d loved spending time with her, but there’d been a shift in the energy between them. It was his fault. He knew that. He was rattled before he’d even arrived. He wondered if he’d told Steph about Cora’s call how she would have reacted.
He sighed. He probably should have told her. Maybe he still should. He needed advice on what to do, but would she be the best person to ask? Definitely not. Jodi’s voice was in his head, and he smiled. She was so protective of Buster, which was lovely and could work in his favor today.
He pulled himself out of bed and headed to the shower. He would go to work, and he’d speak to Jodi. He was pretty sure her advice would be better than anything he was currently telling himself.
Jodi’s face fell the moment Buster explained the call from Cora and how he’d inadvertently raised Eve’s hopes.
“I didn’t realize she was so interested in getting back together,” Buster said. “I probably would have given more thought to what I said if I’d realized. I don’t want to hurt her again.”
“I visited her yesterday, Buster. From what I gathered, she’s hopeful but not unrealistic. She knows it would be a huge ask to take her back after what’s happened.”
“I don’t think that’s the whole problem,” Buster said. “Yes, we had a good marriage before Holly was born, but there were cracks in it even back then. On top of that, we’ve both changed since her birth. Events, whether anyone is to blame or not, have shaped us and changed us. I don’t know if I’d ever feel the same way about Eve. If I met the woman she is today, I probably wouldn’t pursue anything.”
“She’s a different Eve, but deep down, I believe she’s still your Eve.”
Buster sighed. This conversation was not going how he wanted it to. He’d hoped Jodi would give him every reason he needed to walk into the prison and let Eve down gently. Let her down. That, unfortunately, was the recurring theme.
“Buster, in saying what I’ve said. I should also clarify that if you don’t love Eve anymore, or if you don’t think you can get back to a loving place, then it would be best to end it before it gets started again. Even if the appeal goes ahead, it will be a few months away at the earliest. Sitting in prison clinging on to the hope that you and she might reunite isn’t healthy.”
“I’m worried that she might not pursue the appeal if she knows I won’t be here for her when she gets out. I don’t want to be responsible for her slipping back into depression. Her mom made it pretty clear that she’s changed considerably in attitude and outlook since I saw her.”
“Do you have to make a decision right now? You’ve only visited her a couple of times after years of hating her.”
“I don’t know that I ever hated her,” Buster said. “In the final stages of our marriage, I hated what she’d done to us, and once we were divorced, I hated what her negativity and drinking was doing to Holly. I guess I felt l
ike I hated her when the accident happened.”
“You don’t have to explain to me. But is there any rush to make a decision? Can’t you spend more time with her and see what happens?”
“I guess I don’t want to lead her to believe there’s a possibility if I don’t feel it.”
“Perhaps that’s what you need to tell her. That it’s too soon and you want to get to know her again before you’ll consider anything more permanent.” She raised an eyebrow. “You won’t have to worry about her stalking you, at least.”
Buster managed a small smile. “No, unless she’s got good escape skills, that’s not a problem.” He wavered slightly.
“But?”
“But I had a date with Steph yesterday. And that is a problem.”
Jodi’s eyes widened. “You swore on the way home from Traders that you were just friends. That nothing was going on.”
“I might have bent the truth slightly. I wasn’t ready to tell you or Travis.”
Jodi shook her head. “Oh, Buster. I don’t know what to suggest. What a situation to be in. Does Steph know about Eve?”
“Only that I’ve visited her a couple of times. She encouraged me to go the first time.”
“She’s a levelheaded person. I think you should tell her. Possibly suggest the two of you put what you’ve got on hold until you’ve figured out the Eve situation. That way, you’re not messing around with Steph, and you’re not lying by omission either.”
Buster nodded. “You’re probably right. I think she’ll be pretty unimpressed when I tell her.”
“Unimpressed that Eve wants you back?”
“No, unimpressed that I didn’t tell her already.”
“It’s only twenty-four hours, Buster. Definitely not long enough for her to get angry. But if you continue seeing her without telling her, I think that’s when you’ll find yourself in trouble.”
❖
As she pulled weeds from one of the garden beds in the backyard, Steph was amazed to think how fast the week had flown past. It had been a productive week. She was on top of the bookkeeping and scheduling that went with her new role at Heat Wave, and she was delighted to have found that both of the yoga instructors she’d interviewed would be perfect additions to the studio. They were a couple, Yani and Fiona, who were looking for a change from city life. Casual teaching suited them both perfectly. Steph had had them both teach a class during the week, which she attended to get a feel for their ability. They were both fantastic. Over cups of tea, they’d told her about their travels through India and Thailand. How much they’d learned from some of the worlds’ leading yogis and, more importantly, how much deeper their spiritual beliefs now were. Steph was not only thrilled to have them working at the studio but excited at the prospect of chatting with people who shared the same passions as her.
Matt had touched base the previous day to check that Steph was still happy with the arrangement. Running the studio, teaching, and hiring new staff were big adjustments, and she was enjoying it.
The one dark cloud that had hung over her since their date on Sunday was Buster. She hadn’t heard from him. She knew he’d been in town—he’d met with Asha and Charlie to present detailed drawings, and she’d also seen his pickup outside the Sandstone Cafe. She’d been on her way to chat with Margie after teaching a class but found herself making a hasty retreat and going home instead. It was silly. She didn’t know why she was avoiding him. It was that gut feeling. It was there, and it was annoying. She almost laughed when she realized she was back in her old routine of trying to avoid Buster. For entirely different reasons, but she was still avoiding him.
The back door to the house opened, and Zane called out to her. “Steph, visitor.”
Her heart rate increased. Had Buster turned up without calling first? She looked down at her dirt-covered shirt. She was a mess. She was about to ask Zane to tell him she’d meet him at the cafe in fifteen minutes when Matt stepped out of the house and into the backyard.
“Matt? What are you doing here?” It was a relief that it wasn’t Buster, but she was still surprised.
“I’m back for the weekend and wanted to talk to you. I called you a few times this morning but didn’t get an answer.”
Steph’s hand flew to her mouth. “Sorry, I think I left the phone at Heat Wave after the last class. I’m still not used to remembering to check if I have it with me all the time.”
“No drama.” He nodded to the seating area that surrounded the fire pit. “Can we sit down and chat for a minute?”
“Sure, let me just wash up. Would you like a drink?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Steph hurried inside, washed her hands and face, and was back sitting across from Matt in a matter of minutes. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes and no. I’ve had a lot of time to think this week.” He gave a wry smile. “I’m used to running around all over the place, but being holed up helping Dad, when he’s sleeping most of the day, gives me a lot of thinking and planning time. I’ve been looking into different opportunities too.”
Steph continued listening, not sure where she came into all of this.
“I know last weekend I said not to worry about Heat Wave and that we could figure it out over the coming weeks or months, but something’s come up, and I need to move my decision forward as to whether I develop it or sell it.”
Steph’s heart sank. She wasn’t prepared to make a decision either way. “When do you need an answer by?”
Matt bit his lip. “I’m sorry, Steph, but I need an answer by Wednesday. I’ve had another opportunity arise, and if I’m going to commit to it, I’ll need to sell the land that Heat Wave’s sitting on.”
“I thought you were going to subdivide first and make it profitable?”
“I won’t have time. I’ll need a quick sale. To be honest, I’ll be happy to get what I paid for it. The opportunity at Tall Oaks is too good to pass up. I don’t think the bank will loan me enough, so I’ll need the additional money. I am sorry.”
Steph sat silently for a few minutes, considering her options. “What’s your preference, Matt? Would you rather have the funds available for the Tall Oaks project or start on the retreat?”
“Honestly?”
Steph nodded. “There’s no point in saying I want to develop the retreat if you want to move forward with the other investment.”
“True.” Matt sighed. “I see amazing potential in both. The Tall Oaks opportunity will turn around a nice profit in a short space of time, whereas the retreat is a long-term project and more of an altruistic one.”
Steph almost snorted. How could a luxury resort, charging luxury fees, be altruistic?
“You look skeptical.”
“I had assumed the retreat would target an exclusive market, that’s all. Not affordable for the average person.”
“Possibly.” He looked like he was going to explain further but then changed his mind. “As you know, the retreat is a project I’ve had in the back of my mind for ages. It’s the reason I snapped up the property the moment Bodhi mentioned it. But now I’m not sure it’s the best timing.”
“But if I say yes, you’ll continue with it?”
Matt nodded. “You’re pretty sensible, Steph. If you think it's the right timing for you, then I’ll know it’s the right timing for me too. If you say no, then I’ll assume it’s the universe telling me to move forward with the other opportunity.”
“I’m amazed you’d involve me in your decision,” Steph said honestly. Matt usually had a plan that he alone devised and followed.
“It’s my new foreman,” Matt said. “He’s doing his best to change my way of thinking on a number of things.”
“Who? Charlie?”
Matt nodded. “He seems to have decided he’d be a good mentor for me. He’s sharing all sorts of wisdom, and for the first time in my life, I seem to be listening.”
“What does he think about the Tall Oaks opportunity?”
“Very sound in
vestment, Matthew.” Matt managed an almost perfect rendition of Charlie’s voice.
Steph laughed. “Did he know you’d have to choose between here and Tall Oaks.”
Matt bowed in the same manner Charlie often did. “Straightforward decision, Matthew. The retreat will help many people. Tall Oaks will line your back pocket. No brainer. Help others and your fortunes will increase in many different ways.”
“And you’re listening to him?”
“I’m beginning to think I should. He’s been hugely successful, plus he’s a well-liked, decent guy. My dad was nothing like him. As much as I admire Dad and what he’s achieved, I also recognize that the town hates him, and he’s very lonely. The heart attack has really highlighted to me how few friends he has. I don’t want that to be my life down the road.”
“It is sad.”
Matt nodded. “What’s the point of amassing fortunes to end up alone? It’s not what I want. I’m nearly thirty, and I haven’t had a serious relationship. I’ve dated, but I’ve never found someone I would want to share my life with. Sure, I’ve done well financially, but I’m beginning to realize that marriage and kids is something I do want.”
Steph did her best not to look too surprised. “I would never have guessed that.”
“I know. It’s because I’m too busy racing after one opportunity and then the other. It doesn’t give me time for relationships or anything else. My priorities are all wrong, and that needs to change. This whole situation with Dad has really made me stop and take a look at my life and think about what I want.”
Steph was overwhelmed with everything Matt had shared with her. She couldn’t see any loopholes in what he was asking that would prove him to be anything but genuine. “I’d like to think about it, if that’s okay.”
“Of course. If I haven’t heard from you, I’ll call you on Wednesday. There’s no pressure either way, Steph. I mean it. Both options are good opportunities for me, so it’s a win-win. I’m sure we can find you some space in town to set up a new studio if you decide you don’t want to continue with Heat Wave. Don’t let being employed sway your decision. If we develop Heat Wave into a retreat, it’s a passion project. It’s one we’re both in love with, and that’s why we do it. It’ll show in every finishing touch. Whereas Tall Oaks will be a profit project.” He laughed. “That’s what I’m better known for, of course.”
Beyond Hope's Ridge Page 16