The service continued and it seemed like all the traditional favourites had been chosen and the vicar did a fantastic job it seemed that he was hot and funny. The service ended with 'Once in Royal David's City' and once we where through everyone was smiling and wishing each other a Merry Christmas. Roddy announced that he was getting the first round in at the pub and so we began to file out of the pew and head out of the church.
The vicar, whose name Ella had informed me on passing was Martin, stood in the doorway. He shook everyone's hand as they passed. When I got to him he smiled. 'Hello there, you must me April, Maggie had told me all about you.' I shook his hand and returned his smile.
'I am and all good I hope.'
'Oh yes, all good.' He reluctantly let go of my hand when Nate stood closer to me. He turned his attention to the taller man. 'Ah Nate, good to see you. How's Hollywood treating you?' Nate took his outstretched hand and gave it a firm shake then quickly let go.
'Not bad.' Nate placed a hand on the small of my back. 'We seem to be holding up the queue. Merry Christmas.' He smiled at the vicar then guided me gently through the door.
The snow was still falling but it had slowed down considerably and children were yelling in excitement and throwing snowballs. I stayed by Nate's side and we walked slowly back towards the pub. He waited until everyone had gone inside and then pulled me gently down the side of the building and pressed me against the wall. He had placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head and was looking down at me.
I looked up into his eyes and waited in anticipation. He leaned down slowly and after what seemed like forever pressed his lips to mine. Our kiss started slowly but soon heated. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. His arms moved from the wall and ran over my body; I seemed to want him more the more I was with him. Eventually he lifted his head and we stopped to catch our breath. He placed another quick kiss to my lips.
'Sorry,' he whispered.
'Never apologise for kissing me like that,' I whispered back.
He grinned. 'Come on, people will start to wonder where we disappeared to.' He stepped back and I took a breath to steady myself before we headed around the building and in to the heat of the Hare and Hound.
Chapter Nineteen
April
We got back just before midnight and all headed upstairs. The rest of the evening had been lots of fun and I had gotten to chat to everyone a little. There was definitely something going on between Ella and Roddy. They had seemed to stay at each other's side all evening but her flirting was laboured and nothing like how I had seen her on nights out in London. I wanted to talk to her about it, to tell her that Roddy seemed as interested in her as she did in him but from her comment earlier about not wanting to discuss it I held back.
I pulled on my pyjamas and crawled under the duvet then reached for my book that sat on the night stand and settled against the pillows. I had gotten into the habit of reading before bed and now I knew I wouldn't sleep without reading at least one chapter.
I must have fallen asleep reading because when I woke my book was still open in my hand. I looked at the clock next to my bed and saw that it was two in the morning. I sat up and closed my book, placing the bookmark on the page I hoped I was up to, and then dropped it on the bedside table. I rubbed my eyes, and my mouth was so dry that I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep without a glass of water. So flinging off the covers I padded across the room to the door.
I quietly crept down the stairs when I heard a noise. I stopped on the bottom step and just listened. There was a clank of a glass, a quiet bang and a muttered ‘fuck’ which brought a smile to my lips. It was Nate. He must have had the same thought as I had, that we drank a little too much in the pub and the only solution was a large glass of water.
I took the last step off the stairs and padded slowly along the tile floor to the entrance of the kitchen. The door was slightly ajar but there was no light on and it seemed that Nate was struggling to find his way around in the dark.
I pushed the door open enough for me to slip inside then closed it quietly behind me. I waited a moment but he hadn’t heard me so feeling around to my right I found the small lamp I knew stood on the sideboard, and switched it on.
‘Shit!’ Nate whipped around and stared at me, one hand on his bare chest, his other ready to launch the empty glass at me, his breath was coming quickly with the shock. He stood just looking at me for a moment and I noticed that he was wearing nothing but a loose pair of light grey pyjamas bottoms which looked so soft I just wanted to reach out and run my fingers over the fabric.
‘Sorry. You know that is the second dirty word you have said in the past minute; you’re starting to ruin your good guy reputation.’ I smiled at him.
His breathing had slowed back to normal and he had lowered the glass in his hand he turned away from me and filled his glass from the tap, took a long drink and muttered. ‘Being good can be over rated.’ He turned back towards me, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing his feet in front of him. He gave me a look I hadn’t seen before. He looked quite serious but there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read, then a smile slowly spread across his face and I knew what the look in his eye was, I had seen it earlier that night in the alley next to the pub.
My breath caught in my throat. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His dark hair was ruffled and messy and his eyes seemed darker than usual. I knew I fancied him before I met him but this was something else. I grew hot and my breathing was becoming shallower and I couldn’t stop myself from licking my lips. All the while Nate was watching me. I gave myself a quick mental talking too and if he was going to stand there brazenly looking me up and down then I was going to reciprocate.
He had appeared so many times in my dreams that I thought I knew what to expect when he stood in front of me in nothing but pyjama bottoms but my dream version of Nate could not compare to what stood before me. His chest, broad and toned had a light sprinkling of dark hair and before he turned I had gotten a glorious look at his back. His shoulders were large and defined and I wanted to trace my fingers over each muscle. His stomach too was toned and I wondered how many hours he spent in the gym. It made me wonder how he saw me and I remembered that I wasn't wearing any underwear and I felt a blush cover my cheeks.
I was wearing my favourite navy blue pyjamas that I had bought as an early Christmas gift to myself the year before. They had been ridiculously expensive for pyjamas but I had been given a very generous bonus and I wanted to buy something to celebrate and what better way than band new pyjamas. They were a soft, light jersey material with silk trimming and were ridiculously comfortable but not the sexiest of pyjamas.
He stood up straight and turned to retrieve his glass of water then held it out for me. I took a step towards him and when I took the glass our fingers touched briefly and my skin tingled. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a long drink of the cold water. It did nothing to cool my body which seemed to be getting hotter the closer I got to Nate. I finished off the water and he took the glass off me and placed it back on the counter. When he turned back he stepped towards me and looked down into my eyes.
‘I haven’t been able to quite figure out what colour your eyes are for the past few days. I haven’t seen anything like them.’
‘I usually describe them as a dirty hazel.’ He shook his head.
‘No. A golden hazel maybe, or a rich hazel, but never, a dirty hazel.’ He lifted his hand and slowly brushed it across my cheek and my eyes slowly closed at the sensation. I heard him lean even closer to me and then his breath on my face. He pressed his lips gently to mine and I could feel his warmth radiating from his body. His hands travelled slowly up my arms then cupped my face. All the while his lips were pressed against mine. After a moment he lifted his lips from mine. I managed to open my eyes. He was smiling at me but there seemed to be a slight hesitancy in his eyes but when I smiled back it quickly dispersed. He kissed me again, this time
it was deeper as he pulled me against him. After only a moment he lifted his head and smiled.
‘April... for god’s sake; touch me.’
‘Where?’
‘Anywhere.’ He dropped his head to mine and kissed me again. Slowly at first and when I lifted my hands and rested them on his hips, just above the waistband of his pyjama bottoms, he let out a low growl and pulled me closer toward him. It was then that I could feel him, hot and hard against me. Something changed in me. I was shocked to begin with, that was why I had simply stood there, my hands at my sides as he kissed me but that growl and the feel of him stirred something in me. My hands moved up and down his back and I could feel the strong muscles under my touch. Breaking the kiss again he tucked my loose hair behind my ears.
‘I don’t want you to get a crick in your neck.’ He whispered, then with no effort he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He turned and walked us over to the large wooden kitchen table and placed me down gently.
‘See, good guy.’ He shook his head and laughed.
‘I am not always the good guy. In fact,’ He reached up and undid the top button of my pyjama top. ‘I can be very bad indeed.’ He slipped the second button through its hole. His eyes stayed on mine as he undid every last button slowly and carefully and when he reached the last one his hands travelled back up the fabric but never touched me. It felt like my skin was on fire. It itched and ached for him and I wiggled slightly in the hopes that he would finally touch me. I wondered if he was just trying to make me as crazy as he must have felt when I hadn't touched him; I took his hands in mine and watched our fingers interlock. I needed a moment to gather myself before he finally touched me.
Nate’s hands seemed to engulf mine. His fingers were long and strong where mine were small and pale but they seemed to fit together in a way I could not have imagined.
‘What are you thinking?’ I lifted his hands to my lips and kissed then softly.
‘I was wondering what magic these hands could do to a girl.’ I looked back at him and gave him my wickedest grin. He brought my left hand up to his mouth and slowly drew my ring finger between his lips. His tongue teasing my skin and his teeth scraped with just the right amount of pressure. I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until it all came out in a rush. He leaned in and brushed a feather light kiss against my lips.
‘It isn’t just my hands that know a little magic.’ I couldn’t stop myself; I unlinked our fingers then ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders and pulled him towards me. He lowered his lips to mine again but unlike the feathery kisses he had been bestowing on me this was hot and passionate and demanding as if he didn’t kiss me it would kill him. I kissed him back with the same enthusiasm and I couldn’t stop my hands from flying over his chest, shoulders and back, trying to feel all of him at once. His skin was soft but pulled tight over strong muscles and I hadn't felt anything like it before. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. He trailed kissed down my neck and along my collar bone and that's when I heard something.
'What was that?'
'What was what?' Nate asked still continuing to kiss along my skin.
'I heard a door.' My voice dropped to a whisper.
Nate lifted his head and listened for a moment then dropped his head back to my neck and kissed me. 'We should probably stop.'
My eyes had drifted shut at the sensation and my head had moved to the side to give him better access. 'Hmm you're probably right.' I pushed one hand into his hair and rested the other on his shoulder.
He moved his hand under my top and it fell open revealing my breasts to him. His hand moved up my side and around then brushed against my nipple. I gasped then let out a moan.
'We really should stop now,' he murmured against my lips.
I kissed him and pulled him closer to me. 'Yeah, we should definitely stop.' I kissed him again and ran my hands over his shoulders and down his chest. I still couldn't get over how amazing his body was and I wanted to touch every inch of him.
His mouth was at my collarbone and I opened my eyes and was mesmerised by his hand still on me. His fingers were long and lean and looked tanned against my pale skin. The things they were making me feel filled me up and I felt that I might burst.
'I'm going to stop now.' His voice was rough and thick with passion and that sound vibrated through me.
'Uh-huh.' It seemed I had lost the ability to form actual words and I knew I didn't want to stop.
Nate let out a growl then lifted his mouth from my neck and kissed me deep and urgently. He had removed his hand from my chest and placed a hand on either side of my face. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes. He stood looking at me for a moment. 'This isn't right.'
His words hit me and I felt the pain in my chest. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want me. I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes and the overwhelming urge to cry hit me. I lowered my gaze and tried to quickly cover myself back up but Nate was too quick and he grabbed my hand and flicked my top back open and gazed back down at me.
'Beautiful.' It came out as a murmur then he lifted his eyes to mine. His expression was serious and I waited for him to tell me it was all a mistake, that he didn't want me, just another good look.
'April, this isn't right. We are acting like teenagers who are afraid to get caught.' I just stared at him. 'I don't want the first time we make love to be on my mother's kitchen table, scared that she might walk in.' He brushed his thumb across my cheek and it was only then I realised my tears had escaped. 'The first time I make love to you I want to take my time, I want to be in a bed and I don't want to worry that someone will walk in on us.'
I nodded, finally understanding what he meant, my heart was still racing from the thought of him rejecting me and then from his words. He wanted to 'make love' to me, not just sleep with me, it would mean something and a small panic settled itself in the back of my mind. I watched as he then slowly did up the buttons on my top and lifted me back off the table. As I was about to turn and head back out of the kitchen he stopped me and pulled me to him lowering his head and capturing my lips with his. When he lifted his head again he smiled down at me, 'this doesn't mean I won't be doing that at every opportunity.'
I let out the breath I had been holding and smiled back at him. 'Promise?'
He kissed me again, deeper and it made my head spin. 'Promise.' He reached down and linked his fingers with mine. 'Come on, we better go to bed.' I raised my eyebrow in question and made him smirk again, ‘you are naughty. I'm going to have to keep my eye on you.'
I smiled back at him. Everything that had happened I would remember for a long time. Long after Christmas and long after I said goodbye to him. I knew that I would still have an internal battle about sleeping with him and I knew that if I did I would be in more danger of falling completely in love with him, if I already hadn't. I didn't want to think of the devastation that I knew was inevitable but just bask in the moment and the things he was making me feel to savour them and store them away like precious jewels I could take out and gaze upon when I needed to.
Chapter Twenty
Nate
It took all of my willpower to leave April to go to bed alone and I had lay awake for a while thinking about her. I could have asked to come into her bedroom and continued where we had left off in the kitchen but it was late and I wanted more time to show her exactly how I felt about her. I knew I liked her and that I was attracted to her but I couldn't quite work out how much. It seemed to change every time I was with her. It got stronger and bigger and she kept surprising me. I wanted to spend all my time with her, to get to know the real her. I wanted to know what captured her interest and made her tick. I just wanted her.
That first meeting, the first time I saw her I thought she was attractive and the startled look on her face made her seem even more so. Then the more time I spent with her the more I liked her. When she offered to help me I had almost not known what to say. She was thoughtful and ca
ring, and that was rare in people nowadays but I also found her interesting, and sexy, and smart, and I genuinely believed that she didn't know it.
She wasn't like the women I had dated before and whilst I hadn't fallen into the womanizing category some actors found themselves in I had enough experience to know what I wanted. My last girlfriend had worked in the business and seemed to be more interested in being in the right places and wearing the right things than she had in getting to know me and maybe because of that I hadn't really wanted to get to know her but with April it was different. I wanted to get to know her; I wanted to know her opinions on things and what she liked and what she didn't. I wanted to see where it could go.
My flight to Miami was booked for the day after Boxing Day and I knew I would have to discuss with her how we were going to keep in touch. I already knew I was going to miss her and the thought of being away for three months was something I was actively trying not to think about. I needed to get her alone so I could talk to her about where I wanted this to go but I had a feeling that if I pushed it I would inevitably push her away. I eventually fell asleep with images of April laid out, naked, on my kitchen table back in my house in London.
The morning came too quickly and I seriously considered forgoing my morning run, especially as I knew the snow would be thicker and make it a harder workout. Unfortunately there was a little voice in the back of my head that sounded an awful lot like Ian telling me that I needed to keep a certain level of fitness for the role I was about to start.
I reluctantly climbed out of bed and dressed quickly in my running gear adding my thicker coat and grabbing my hat and gloves out of my drawer and pushing them into the pocket. I descended the stairs two at a time and headed into the kitchen smiling at myself as I remembered what had happen in this very room only a few hours before.
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