'Well I had a call from Olivia Reed's people.'
'Ian. No.'
'All she wants is a meeting with you. She is going to be in Miami.'
'I know.' I cut him off. I couldn't believe she had gotten her 'people' to call to arrange something, unbelievable.
'What?'
'I know she is going to be in Miami, she text me. I'm not meeting up with her.'
'Look Nate, I would very much appreciate it if you just gave her fifteen minutes. Apparently she went through a pretty bad time and just wants to talk. I know it's a big ask but it is all arranged and you can leave whenever you want.'
I thought for a moment, did I really want to meet up with a woman who used me? Not really, but the way Ian asked made me think that maybe she was trying to change and if I was going to be there anyway. I let out a heavy sigh. 'Alright but only fifteen minutes.'
'Brilliant. Okay, now I have arranged a couple of auditions while you are there from the feedback you sent me.'
I listened as Ian continued to talk to me about work but to be honest I had tuned out. The mention of the feedback I had sent over to him the other day just filled my head with images of April, curled up on the armchair and totally engrossed in what she was reading. She had looked so calm and peaceful and content that I had wanted to scoop her up and curl up with her.
'So what do you think?'
'What? Sorry Ian I zoned out for a second.'
'Are you alright? I mean has something happened?' I could hear the concern in his voice which made me feel worse.
I needed to get myself together, focus on my work and forget everything that happened over Christmas. 'Everything is fine. Sorry I'm just tired I guess, don't worry I will be on form by Thursday.'
'As long as you're sure? Well I don't think there is anything else I need to talk to you about. You know where I am if you need me and I will see you in a week.'
'Okay, thanks Ian, bye.' Ian hung up and I placed my phone back on the desk.
I knew I needed to pack my stuff up and get ready to leave but I really did fancy that run. I needed to clear my head and running was the only way I knew how to do it even if I had already run along the beach today, but I could go again. A quick glance out of the window and I was happy to see the snow had stopped and so it would be alright for my drive home. I stood and glanced at my watch, I knew Ella wanted to leave soon but wasn't sure when. I walked out of the office and headed upstairs to quickly changing into my running gear and then back downstairs and through to the kitchen.
'There you are. Have you sorted everything you needed to sort?' Mum smiled at me from her seat at the table.
'Yes thanks. I'm just going for a run. What time is Ella leaving?'
'Your sister and April are leaving in about half an hour. Are you going out?'
'Just for a quick run.' I called for the dogs and was met with silence.
'April is out with the dogs you might see her on the beach.' I remember the last time April and I had been on the beach together and I felt a stab to my heart.
'Right.' I nodded then moved over to the back door. I pulled it open and Milly and Toby came running in. I looked out and saw April, red cheeked, coming up the path towards me. She looked up and stopped in her tracks, her hazel eyes were wide with shock and I was filled with the urge to grab her by the front of her coat, haul her against me and comfort her. The sight of her looking so sad hurt me and I just needed any indication from her that it was all a mistake, everything she said was a mistake and she wanted to make us work.
I moved to the side to let her through and she dropped her gaze from me, nothing in her stance said she had made a mistake. I resisted my second urge to drag her back outside and find out what the hell was really going on. I sent Mum a quick smile then walked through the back door and closed it behind me.
Just that one look at her had the tension throbbing back in my head and now I really needed that run.
Chapter Thirty Two
April
The back door opened and I watched the dogs disappear inside and then Nate's frame filled the doorway. I felt my heart beat quicken as I looked into his green-blue eyes and I had the sudden urge to look away. I felt as though I didn't have the right to look at him anymore, no matter how much I wanted to imprint his image into my head. I watched as he moved out of the way and I lowered my gaze and quickly moved past him. I heard the back door close behind me and knew that Nate was on the other side of it.
'Did you have a nice walk?' Maggie was smiling at me from her seat at the table and I realised there was something soothing about her smile.
'I did, thank you. I'm going to miss strolling along the beach when I get back to London.' I unbuttoned my coat and draped it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs then moved over to the kettle for one last coffee before I left.
'Well you are very welcome to visit whenever you like. It's been nice having you here.' I turned to see that she was being honest with me and her offer was a genuine one.
'Thank you, that's very kind of you.'
'Nonsense, it is completely selfish of me I love having some company.' Her smile widened and I could see so much Nate in her that I didn't think I would ever be able to take her up on her offer no matter how much I wanted to.
I sent her a small smile then made my coffee and headed back upstairs to find out where Ella was and if she was ready to leave yet.
'I know, but it won't be for long and I will see you in a couple of days. I'm going to miss you too.' I could hear Ella talking from where I had stopped just outside her bedroom door. It stood open and I felt bad for eavesdropping and so knocked lightly on the door and pushed it a little further open until Ella came into view.
She stood next to the bed looking down at her now full case but looked up as I moved into her room. She smiled at me and gestured for me to sit on the bed. I lowered myself on to the mattress and took a sip of my coffee.
'Okay babe, I have to go. I know. You too. Bye.' She dropped her phone from her ear and grinned at me. 'Hey, how was your walk?'
'It was good. Was that Roddy? Sorry to interrupt.'
She waved her hand in the gesture of don't worry and continued to fill her case with the pile of stuff on her bed. 'I don't know how I am going to cope with not seeing him. I mean we just got together and I'm trying to stay positive but I know I am going to miss him like crazy.'
I could hear the worry in her voice but from what I knew about Ella she would be determined to make it work. 'You will talk to him all the time and you know there is so many ways to keep in touch with him and you aren't going to be that far away. You can visit him and he can visit you. It will all be okay.' I sent her a reassuring smile.
She took a deep breath and returned my smile. 'You're right. How are you always right?'
'I'm not always right I just think that you and Roddy will be fine. That you can make it work.'
Ella nodded and the look on her face was a little dreamy. Then placing the last thing in to her case, she stood to zip it up and place it on the floor. 'Right do you have everything packed?'
'Yup, my case is by the door.' I took another sip of my coffee and let out a sigh.
Ella sat back on the bed and looked at me. 'Are you going to tell me what's going on? You don't seem like yourself.'
I sipped my coffee again and wracked my brains for an excuse and the only one I knew came to mind. 'I'm just tired.'
'Bullshit.' Her smile was gone and she looked at me seriously and I knew I would have to tell her something but what was I suppose to tell her? That I was in love with her brother? That I had spent this Christmas kissing and making love to him and it felt like the most amazing thing in the world? Or that I had known it wouldn't work from the start but I still indulged in all the things my mind and body wanted from him.
'I don't know what to tell you.' I said honestly. I really didn't. It was all still so raw and even though I knew what I had done was right it didn't make it any less heartbreaking.
&nb
sp; 'Well, how about I guess? It has something to do with a man. Is that why you agreed to come, you wanted to get away from the city? Is it someone I know?'
She was right about it having something to do with someone she knew but if I hadn't left London then I never would have met Nate and I never would have gotten myself into this mess. 'I don't really want to talk about it.'
'April.'
'Ella, please. Just leave it.' I shook my head and swallowed. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I needed to keep it together. 'I would just like to go home.'
She looked over at me for a moment and then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me pulling me in for a hug. I knew I had bought myself some time but Ella wouldn't leave it there and it was only a matter of time until she found out everything. 'Okay.' She rubbed my back then after one last squeeze she let go and stood. 'Let's go and load the car up and then we can head out.'
I stood and sent her a small smile, thankful that she changed the subject. I followed her out of her room and down the stairs. I drank the last of my coffee and placed my empty mug on the small table in the hallway. Not bothering to retrieve my coat from the kitchen I followed Ella out onto the driveway and around to the boot of her car. Unlocking it Ella hauled her case into the space and shifted it to one side so that mine would fit in next to it. I still had a bag but it would fit on the back seat. I wrapped my arms around myself to help ward off the cold and waited while Ella closed the boot then followed her back into the house.
We found Maggie in the living room, a cup of tea sitting on the table in front of her and a magazine open in her lap. She closed it as soon as we moved around the sofa and sat down, each in one of the armchairs. 'So you are ready to leave me are you?' She smiled but I could see that she was sad that we were leaving.
'Well the car is loaded up. Where's Nate?' I tried not to let even the sound of his name effect me but I wasn't strong enough and I felt a jolt of pain hit my heart.
'He went for a run about twenty minutes ago. He should be back soon; you know he doesn't stay out long in this weather.' Maggie took a sip of her tea and cradled the mug in her hands. She looked over at Ella. 'How was Roddy when you left him?' Maggie turned to me. 'I do like that boy.'
I felt myself smile back at her. She was such a lovely person I was going to miss her.
'He was okay. Sad that I was going but we are both going to stay positive and keep in touch as much as we can. He is going to come to town for New Year and spend a few days in the city as he is still on holiday. I suppose that's one of the perks of being a teacher, all the holidays.'
I hadn't even thought about New Year until Ella mentioned it and even though I had been invited to a party by one of the girls from work I knew I would be spending it alone wallowing in my own self made sorrow.
I saw a figure in the doorway out of the corner of my eye and I looked to see Nate filling it. He only glanced at me before turning his attention to Ella who had stood when he appeared. 'Time to go?' He moved further into the room and stopped when Ella reached him. I watched as he pulled her into a hug.
'Yup, time to go. It's been so good seeing you.' They broke apart and he smiled down at her. 'You take care of yourself and if you get the chance send me something pretty from Miami.'
Nate laughed and I made a mental memory of its richness. 'Sure, if I get the chance.'
Maggie had also stood and I followed suit and watched as Maggie looped her arm around Ella's waist and led her out of the room and towards the front door, leaving me alone with Nate.
I glanced at him and saw that he was watching me. I looked away and down at my hands, linking my fingers together. I heard him let out a heavy breath and then when I looked up again I was just in time to see his back disappear out of the door. I rubbed a hand over my forehead. I could feel a headache coming on and all of it, the headache and the heartache was all my own doing and I deserved to feel every painful second.
I took a breath then headed into the kitchen to retrieve my coat and slipping it on I headed to the front door where Maggie, Ella and Nate were saying their final goodbyes.
'I have to pop up to town in a couple of weeks so we will go out for lunch alright.' Maggie was hugging Ella now and I waited and watched as they pulled apart.
'Sounds good, just let me know when.' She smiled. 'Bye mum.'
'Goodbye sweetheart.' Maggie pulled her into another hug then led her outside.
I looked up at Nate then, he was standing by the door looking out at his mum and sister. I found enough courage to move and stand next to him. I wanted to take his hand, to pull him to me and hug him and ask him to not think ill of me. I looked up and waited until finally he looked down into my eyes. I felt my heart speed up like it did every time he looked at me.
'Goodbye.' His voice was deep and rich but I could hear a coldness to it that sent another jolt of pain to my heart.
I looked into his eyes to see if there was any affection still there for me and was disappointed to not find any there. 'Goodbye.' It came out as a whisper and taking one more second to look at him, I walked out of the door and onto the driveway.
'April, it was so nice having you here.' Maggie pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around the older woman and tried my hardest to hold back the tears.
'Thank you for having me.' Our hug broke and I smiled at her and moved around to the passenger side of Ella's car and climbed in. Shutting the door I waited for Ella to receive one final hug from her mum and climb in next to me.
'Ready to go?' I looked out the window and up at the house. I was going to miss it but it was time I headed back to reality.
'Yeah, yeah I am.' I looked back at her and smiled. She returned it, handed me her iPod, started the car and put it into gear. Waving goodbye to Maggie through the window Ella pulled the car out onto the lane and headed back home. I reached up and ran my finger over the necklace Nate had bought me. I probably shouldn't have kept it. Just boxed it up and left it for him but I couldn't part with it. I looked out of the window and said a final silent goodbye to the beach.
'Is that new?' Ella's voice broke me from my thoughts and I turned to look at her. She nodded her head towards my necklace that I was still touching.
'No,' I lied. 'No, I've had it for a while.' I turned to look back out of the window and as Ella turned up the music in the car I drifted off into my thoughts.
Chapter Thirty Three
Nate
Christmas was most definitely over but the streets of Miami were still decked out in bright lights and the atmosphere was filled with people still celebrating the holiday and those who had to work over the few days between Christmas and New Year. The weather was bright, clear and hot when I landed and I realised then that I really was very far from home, and April.
It had been four days since I left Mum's and my mood hadn't improved. I had spent the eight hour flight trying to focus on work by reading my script three times but I kept getting distracted by things that reminded me of April. The woman sitting across from me wore the same perfume and that smell filled my head with images of April curled up next to me in bed. The steward had offered me a glass of champagne which again reminded me of April and how she drank almost two bottles of the stuff on Christmas day but still seemed to keep a clear head. I hoped that once I got on location and started filming that I could focus more and she would disappear from my mind but I wasn't holding my breath. She had gotten under my skin and would probably stay there for quite some time.
I had managed to get through the read-through the day after I arrived, I was still distracted but I had held it together enough that no one seemed to notice and now three days in I found that I had to motivate myself to even get out of bed let alone become a character that was overly enthusiastic about life.
I had an early call time and had been up at four this morning only finishing in the early afternoon. I had headed back to my hotel room and collapsed on the bed, drifting off to sleep for only a second before my phone started to r
ing in my pocket.
I pulled it out and not even opening my eyes I answered it and held it up to my ear. 'Hamilton.' My voice was groggy, and moody, and I hoped it wasn't Mum checking up on me as she would instantly know something was wrong.
'Nate you alright mate? You sound funny.' I could hear the slight worry in Ian's voice and tried quickly to pull myself together.
'I'm good. Had an early call and just got back. What's up?' I wanted to get him off the phone as quickly as possible so I could try and sleep until my next wakeup call tomorrow at five.
'I was just calling to remind you that you're meeting Olivia at Casa Tua at eight.' I let out a groan. 'Look I know you don't want to see her but her people have been pestering me the past couple of days and I have guaranteed them that you will be there so could you please go as a favour to me. I promise you can leave as soon as you want to.'
'If I can leave when I want why do I have to go?' I knew I sounded like a petulant child but I couldn't cope with Olivia drama right now. I just wanted some time to get over April and wallow in my own self pity while trying to get this film done, I did not need Olivia throwing something else in the mix for me to stress out over.
'Nate, please mate, just fifteen minutes.' He sounded genuinely worried that I wouldn't go.
'Alright, alright, I will meet her at eight. Is there anything else you wish of me?'
'That is everything, oh but if you find the time to overnight a box of Bagels Co. bagels then Karen would very much appreciate it.'
I let out a sigh and felt a small smile cross my face. Ian had told me that when Karen was pregnant with Megan she would only eat bagels with weird fillings. 'I'm sure I can find the time to sort that out.'
'Thanks. Well I will let you get some sleep. Remember Casa Tua, eight o'clock.' He hung up and I cracked an eye open to look at the screen to see the time.
I had just under six hours until I had to meet Olivia so, setting my alarm to give me plenty of time to grab a shower, I dropped my phone to the mattress and closed my eyes, hoping that this time my dreams weren't filled with hazel eyes and delicious curves.
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