'Ella don't. It's over; whatever was between us is clearly over.'
'But why? If you care about him and he cares about you then why?'
I stood and moved over to the window trying to figure out what to tell her. 'Because I'm not good enough for him.' It came out as a whisper and I wiped my hand across my cheek to wipe away my tears.
'That's ridiculous. What are you talking about?'
The ache that had taken up permanent residence in my heart throbbed as everything I had told Nate came flooding back into my head. I took a deep breath to steady my voice so that I could make my point perfectly clear to her. 'I'm not good enough for him. He is kind and sweet and smart and funny and the most amazing man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and I'm not good enough for someone like that.'
Ella let out a snort and I spun around and looked at her. She looked pissed off now and I wondered if she would ever forgive me for hurting Nate. 'You're being silly.'
'No, I'm not. I know he is your brother so you can't have any idea how I see him but I know I'm right. It would never work out between us.'
'What and you think you shouldn't even try? After everything you said to me about Roddy you aren't even going to try and make it work with Nate?'
'I can't. Not now he clearly doesn't feel the same way.' I could feel myself getting worked up over the picture again and the image of him embracing another woman, his arms wrapped possessively around her made me feel sick. I needed to get out of here, to find somewhere away from everyone and everything that reminded me of what I had given up.
'And what if he did? April, please talk to him, tell him how you really feel.'
I shook my head again as the tears filled my eyes. 'I can't!' I practically shouted. 'I can't do this anymore, I'm not strong enough.' I ran to the door and flung it open. I didn't see everyone stare at me as I ran towards the stairs.
'April.' Ella shouted across the office and I spun around at her voice. It was filled with concern and anger and didn't sound like her. I couldn't see her through my tears and as I turned away from her my foot slipped.
I threw out my arms to stop me from falling; to grab a hold of anything but there was nothing to stop me. I felt the first step smash into my hip and my ankle twisted in a way that it naturally couldn't and I tumbled downwards. I heard a scream and I thought it might have been Ella but as soon as I heard it, it was gone, and so was everything else.
Chapter Thirty Five
Nate
I didn't have much time to think about what Olivia said as filming kicked up a notch. There was a bit of a break for New Year and the production held a cast and crew party. It was your average big end of the year blow out that I dragged myself to for a couple of hours but not really feeling in the celebratory mood I had left before midnight.
I had spent the rest of the evening in my hotel room lying on the bed and thinking about what I should do about April. I was still in love with her, that I was certain about, and I needed to find a way to make her understand that. There wasn't much I could do from here and checking the filming schedule I had a three day break in a couple of weeks. That should be enough time to work out what I was going to say.
I stood in front of the camera and took a deep breath. We had been shooting for the past couple of hours and I still hadn't got it right. There was something about this speech that I just couldn't get. This was the moment in the film that my character, Mark, was trying to reassure Lexi, the female lead, that everything was going to be alright if they just stayed together.
This would be take twelve of me saying the lines down the camera. We had already done it around twenty five times from different angles and with Sasha saying her lines in response. I had only met Sasha for the first time at the read through but she was a wonderful actress who was professional and enthusiastic and had the most adorable ten month old baby boy.
In the previous takes it hadn't been so hard. Sash had given me everything I needed to deliver my lines with the fervour that the director, Jed, had asked for but saying them into the camera I couldn't stop my mind from picturing April standing in front of me and for some reason I couldn't say those things to her. It was the same sort of feeling I had felt when she told me that she wanted to end it. Her words flitted around my head and mixed with what I was supposed to say and I just couldn't get it right. It was like there was some sort of mental block stopping me.
'Okay Nate, let's try it again.' I nodded over to Jed and stood back on my mark. '…and, action.'
'How can you say that? Everything that ever happened to you happened for a reason. To me this is not a glass half empty moment. That glass is looking pretty full and if you don't do something about it then you know you will regret it for the rest of your life.'
'And cut.' I felt my shoulders sag a little and I rubbed a hand over my forehead. Jed said something to his assistant then walked over to me. 'Is something wrong? I mean I'm a little concerned that you don't seem to be feeling it. It's a little... flat.'
I let out a heavy sigh. 'I know Jed, I'm really sorry I'm not quite sure why I'm not getting it.' That was a lie. I knew why I couldn't get out all the emotion this scene called for.
'You were great the other day. Did something happen over the New Year that's thrown you?'
'No, no it's nothing like that. I think it's just an off day. I'm sorry.' I felt genuinely bad that I couldn't get it right. My tone was wrong and I had fluffed my lines on a couple of takes.
'Alright, let's take a break then try again.' Jed patted me on the shoulder then turned to the crew. 'Take five.'
I walked over to the chair that had been set up for me and dropped myself into it grabbing a bottle of water from the table next to me. I took a long drink then picked up my script to have another look at the lines I was suppose to say. I just wasn't feeling as upbeat as the character was supposed to and I needed to focus. Alex, the makeup artist, wandered over to me and started touching up my subtle make-up. It was a clear bright day which in Miami just meant really freaking hot despite it being January and it didn't help that I kept rubbing my temples where I could feel the tension starting to build.
I had been trying to figure out what I would say to April when I saw her and I had thought about calling Ella and confiding in her about the situation. I had left my phone on silent next to me but now I heard it vibrate against the table. I threw the script down and placed the water bottle next to it. Alex stopped dabbing something on my face and waited while I answered.
Picking up my phone I looked at the caller ID and I felt the smile cross my face when I saw Ella's name. It was like she knew I was thinking about her. I hit the answer button and held it to my ear. 'Hey sis, what's up?'
'Nate?' Her voice was shaking and I could tell that she was crying.
A felt a jolt of terror hit me like a car crash and I sat up straight in my chair. 'Ella, what's wrong?'
'Nate, I don't, I can't...'
'Ella, sweetheart, calm down. Tell me what's happened.' My voice had risen in volume and I could see a look of concern on Alex's face, looking around I noticed that his wasn't the only attention I had attracted.
I heard her take a deep breath like I had suggested. 'It's April.'
The feeling of terror that had hit me just seconds before magnified into something I couldn't recognise. I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was going to throw up. What could have happened to April that terrified Ella so much? It had to be bad. It had to be really bad.
'Nate? Nate, I need you.'
I pulled myself together enough to talk again. 'Ella, what exactly has happened?'
'She fell. She fell and she didn't wake up and I don't know what's going on.' Images of April's body, bloodied and broken filled my head and I tried to push them aside.
'Okay, okay I'm coming home. Is there anyone else you can call?' I saw that Jed had moved over to me and was waiting for me to finish. When I had said the word home his expression changed from worry to panic.
'Umm, I don't know
. Umm, Roddy is still here. Oh god I need to call her mum and her sister.'
'Okay Ella, I'm going to get there as soon as I can. Stay calm and call Roddy first.' I knew Roddy would be able to keep her calm until I could get there.
'Okay. Okay, I can do that. I will see you soon.' Ella hung up and I took a breath and dropped my phone into my pocket. I still had what seemed to be the entire cast and crew staring at me.
Jed seemed to be hopping from foot to foot. 'What's going on?' I could hear the panic in his voice and saw the pained expression on his face. I knew that leaving now would throw filming off and be a major hassle and expense but I really didn't care. I needed to get home and see April as fast as I could.
'I have to go.' I grabbed the couple of things I had left on the table and started to make mental notes of what I needed from my trailer, and from the hotel, and I needed to call the airline and get on the next flight to Heathrow.
'Nate, you can't just leave. We have a schedule to stick to. Look, tell me what's happened and maybe you can sort it from here.'
I could understand his worry I really could but I needed to see her. Ella said she wouldn't wake up and the worst possible reason entered my head. What if she died? What if she dies and I didn't get the chance to tell her how much I love her? I could feel my whole body shaking now and I moved away from Jed and the crew and headed out of the soundstage and round the side of the building where my trailer stood with about twenty others on the lot. I knew he was following me and would demand an explanation.
I reached my trailer and climbed inside. I heard Jed close the door behind us. 'Nate - stop. It's obviously something really bad so just stop and tell me.'
I didn't stop and began to strip out of my costume and pull on the jeans and t-shirt I had arrived in. Finally I turned to him. He was a burly man with a bald head and it had seemed almost weird that a guy who looked like he should be in a boxing ring was directing a romantic drama. 'I need to go.'
'I gathered that but you will be putting a lot of people out. Can it not wait until the end of the day at least?'
I stared at him. I knew it would cost a lot of money to stop production now and maybe the easiest thing would be for me to quit. We were only a few days in and I'm sure they could find someone else to take over the role. Hell, I could name two guys off the top on my head that would fit the part. 'I'm sorry. I really am but I have to go. My girlfriend has had some sort of accident and I need to be there.'
'Shit. I didn't realise it was that serious. You never even mentioned you had a girlfriend.'
I hadn't mentioned it because it wasn't true but April meant so much to me that it was the only way to describe her. 'What do you want to do? I mean we can shoot some other stuff while you're gone if it's only for a couple of days.'
'I don't know. I don't know how long I will be gone. I'm not sure what has happened and until I do I don't think I could say.'
Jed looked more worried now. 'Please tell me you're not quitting. Nate you can't do this to me.' I started shoving things into my bag and gathering up my belongings. 'Look, take a couple of days like I said and call me when you know what's going on. I'm sure I can talk to the producers and the studio and move the filming schedule around enough to cover you.'
I slung my now full bag over my shoulder and turned to him. 'Thanks. I really have to go.'
'Sure, sure.' He moved out of my way and I pulled my phone back out of my pocket. I made a quick call to the airline and there was a flight in an hour I could get on leaving me just enough time to get to the hotel and grab some stuff.
The flight I had managed to get a seat on was delayed and for those thirty minutes I thought I might tear my hair out. I called Ian and filled him in on what was happening, he said he would arrange a car to pick me up from the airport and also try and smooth things over with the studio. I also tried to call Ella to get an update on how April was but it went straight to voicemail. I knew now that I would spend the eight hour flight wondering what had happened, and if April was even alive. I was going to need a drink, a very large one.
Chapter Thirty Six
April
I didn't want to move. I knew if I moved my whole body would feel as though I was being pummelled with bricks. I was lying perfectly still with my eyes closed and just listening to the noises around me.
I had woken up in the ambulance with no idea what had happened just a searing pain in my ankle and the feeling that I had bruised every single part of my body. I couldn't remember anything after seeing the photos of Nate. I scrunched my eyes tighter but that only made the pounding in my head worse. The doctor had sent me to x-ray to confirm that I had fractured my ankle and they wanted to keep me in overnight for observation. If I was being honest I was a little relived as the thought of going home didn't appeal to me at all but it could just be because I had left it covered in empty biscuit wrappers and empty cans of diet coke.
Ella had insisted on getting me a private room after she stopped crying. I heard a gentle knock at the door and I opened my eyes to see her standing in the doorway looking like someone had died.
I smiled at her and was glad when she sheepishly returned my smile. 'Are you coming in or are you just going to stand there?' My voice came out a little groggy but it was probably the painkillers I was on that only seemed to take the edge off my pain.
Ella walked slowly into the room and sat herself on the end of the bed. 'How are you feeling?'
'Like I fell down a flight of stairs.' Her smile was gone and it looked like she was going to cry again. 'Ella, I'm okay.' I reached my hand out slowly and was happy when she slipped her fingers into mine.
'I thought...' She took a deep breath, 'I thought you were dead.'
'Oh Ella.' I squeezed her hand in reassurance. 'I'm so sorry.'
She let out a tiny laugh. 'You're sorry? It was my fault that you fell. If I hadn't shouted you wouldn't have lost your footing.'
'Stop. It wasn't your fault, you know how clumsy I am and I was upset.' The last word came out as almost a whisper and I dropped my eyes from her. I didn't remember her shouting at me all I could remember were the photos of Nate and that woman together. The pain that hit my heart was far worse than anything my body felt and I had the urge to pull the covers over my head and disappear. I felt Ella squeeze my hand a little and I looked back at her.
'April...'
'Don't. Please, I really don't want to talk about it.'
A look of worry crossed her face and she pulled her hand from mine and stood. 'Roddy is just outside is it alright if he comes in?'
I nodded and then realised that I really shouldn't have and I winced at the pain. I sunk a little deeper into the pillow and waited as Ella opened the door and gestured to Roddy. A second later he walked into the room, a huge bunch of flowers in his hand.
'Hey.' He smiled at me then placed the flowers on the table that stood by the window. 'You gave us quite a scare.' Ella moved to stand next to him and he placed a protective arm around her and pulled her in close.
'I know, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that you have to spend some of your holiday in here. You guys don't have to hang around you know that right. I will be perfectly fine.'
'Don't be silly, where else would we be?' He smiled down at me and I couldn't help smiling back at him. He really was a great guy, I was so happy for Ella and I appreciated everything she had done for me but a wave of sadness hit me again and I wanted to wallow in it alone.
Roddy looked at Ella and I watched as he gave her some sort of look, Ella in turn shook her head and I wondered what was going on. 'Guys, what's wrong?'
'Nothing.' Ella said, sounding far too enthusiastic about her answer.
'Ella, you have to tell her.'
I wanted to sit up but I knew it would hurt too much so just sent her a worried look. 'Tell me what?' Ella shifted uncomfortably at Roddy's side and I noticed his arm tighten around her as though he was giving her some strength to get her though whatever it was she wanted to say to me. A wave of na
usea hit me and I wondered if I was more damaged than they first thought and they had left it to Ella to break the news. 'You're really worrying me now El, just tell me.'
'Well... I rang your mother.' Her voice went up at the end so I knew that calling my mother wasn't what she was worried about telling me. But I let her continue. 'And she said to call if it was serious enough for them to have to come back.'
That sounded about right, they weren't due back for another week and a half and nothing except death or a coma would bring them home early. 'Alright, anything else?'
'I also called your sister. She said she would try and get someone to look after the kids then she would be here as soon as she could.'
I wondered if it was too late to text Abby and let her know that I was okay and she really didn't need to come all the way here to see me, especially as the doctor said I would be okay to go home tomorrow. Ella was twisting the cuff of her jumper in her fingers so I knew there was something else. 'Ella.' Her eyes went wide and she knew she was busted. 'What are you not telling me?'
'Please don't freak out.' She looked down at the blanket that was covering me then took a deep breath and looked back up into my eyes. 'I rang Nate.'
'What?' I shouted and sat up at the same time which was a huge mistake. 'Oww.' Ella stepped forward and looked like she was going to cry again. I lowered myself slowly back onto the bed and let out the breath I was holding.
'Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' I held up my hand to her and waited for the pain to subside a little.
Once I was settled again I looked up at her and in the calmest voice I could muster I asked. 'What possessed you to call him? You knew I didn't want to talk to him.'
I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice, and I saw as tears started to well up in Ella's eyes. 'I didn't know what to do.' She was staring to panic and both Roddy and I could see it. I saw his arm tighten around her. 'Nate always knows what to do. I didn't know what to do.' Tears were falling down her face now and I couldn't be mad at her. She did exactly what she thought was right and I couldn't hold that against her. I opened up my arms and waited. She looked at me for only a second before moving forward and almost falling into me. I still ached all over but in that moment I didn't care. Ella was my best friend and she needed me as much as I needed her.
An Unexpected Christmas Page 24