by Mariah Lynde
“If you were in my position, would you be?” I asked softly.
“Probably not.” He admitted ruefully. I watched as he lifted one hand to rub the back of his neck and seemed to rock in place. Apparently, I was not the only one who felt extremely uncomfortable with this whole situation.
“Do you think you can even swing that? I mean…you know money, utilities, and all that jazz.” Now, I was curious. Cal seemed way too set on making this move and more than that, readily available to do so. The whole situation didn’t really jive with the whole story about how he had gotten his current apartment.
Why would he be so ready to leave a place he’d acquired in the fall out with his girlfriend? I mean, to me on the survival note…it did make sense. However, his readiness to just up and move away from the city and into the place beside me had warning bells going off in my head.
Something about this seemed off. Even while I turned the idea over in my head, I worked to appear interested in what Cal was saying as he replied.
“Oh, that will be easy enough. I’ve been really careful with my money. So handling all of this should be as simple as signing a few pieces of paper.” He shrugged and I again found myself wondering just why this seemed to be so easy for him.
Why the sudden transition? When had he accepted what was taking place so easily and gone all gung ho about it? The differences in how he had seemed from encounter to encounter were not adding up. At least they weren’t to me.
Maybe I was being paranoid. That was a possibility I supposed, but there didn’t seem to be enough time to really sit down and consider it. I had things I needed to get done and apparently I would be dragging Cal along with me.
“I see. Well, I guess we can stop by the manager’s office on our way out for the day. Speaking of, before we go anywhere, I need to unload my car.” Offering that small bit of information to him, I turned to walk towards the sink.
“Unload your car? Didn’t you already do that?” He motioned towards the scattered boxes and bags between the kitchen and the living room.
“Those were all things I bought on my way home from work Wednesday. I spent part of yesterday gathering up more things for us to use. Sadly, I never got around to unpacking the car because my plans for last night kind of got derailed.” Turning towards him I offered a smirk.
“Jesus, you’re going to have me help you unload that stuff, aren’t you?” Gray eyes watched me warily as I offered a smile.
“Of course I am. Everyone has to pay a price for their survival. Yours just happens to be putting up with me.”
Placing my coffee cup in the sink, I turned towards Cal with a grin. Leaning over to flip the switch on the coffee pot, I chuckled. Today might just be an enjoyable exercise after all.
Chapter Twenty-Six - Butch Cassidy and the Sunny Dancer
It had taken virtually no time to unload the Explorer now that I had help. Of course, after that had been accomplished was when my day seemed to go seven shades of wonky. How we came to the decision to take my car alone, I still had no clue. Strangely, that happened to be exactly what ended up becoming my reality.
Leaving my apartment we immediately stopped by the manager’s office so that Teena Hawthorne could level an evil eye on me while Cal demanded the other unit beside of my small duplex apartment. Unwilling to really deal with her crap, I made my way outside to have a smoke. While I wasn’t too keen on the idea of Cal being anywhere near my home, I was trying to look on the positive side. His presence could very well get Ms. High and Mighty Hawthorne off my ass, at least for a while.
It had been while I was standing outside and leaned up against my car to light a cigarette that things changed. The severity of the situation around me becoming clearer as one of the women from across the complex walked up with her son in tow.
Christian was a bright kid, if not a little on the loud side. More than once I’d watched him while his mother, Maya, had to run into town. I never minded helping out because I knew the situation she found herself in had to be a difficult one. As a single parent, things are hard enough, but as a parent that had no support system in the form of family, things had to be a lot harder.
Admittedly, there were few people around this complex that I cared to speak to, but Maya always seemed to have a smile on her face and a happy disposition. While I had never asked questions about her son’s father, I had eventually been told the story. The tale had come to me one night after I’d agreed to watch her son when she went off to work. When she’d come to pick him up, I’d offered her a cup of coffee and in the middle of our talk, the story had just kind of slipped out.
Maya had been a military wife and her husband had been quite a bit older than her. Much like his wife, there had been no family on his side – both of them sharing common ground in having no one to really go home to. When Maya had learned she was pregnant her husband had been deployed to the Middle East. Sadly, he’d never made it back. In the end, she had been left behind to raise their son and eventually had made her way here to find work.
I gave credit where it was due. In the same circumstances, I doubted I would be anywhere near as cheerful as she always seemed to be. Not to mention the fact that Christian was a happy, well behaved child − at least from my dealings with him. Any time that he came to stay with me for a little while, he always seemed more than happy to just sit by my side during a movie or cartoon that we found on television.
Not once had Maya or her son shown me anything other than bright smiles and excitement. For that reason alone my heart plummeted to my feet the minute I noticed Maya coming my way. The appearance she cut today was a far cry from the one that I knew.
This time there was no smile on her face, her normally expressive emerald colored eyes were a pale jade color. Holding her hand was the blond haired, hazel eyed little boy I seemed to know so well but his face was adorned by a frown that I could not even fathom. Small fingers clung to his mother's pale hand and peering at Maya, I knew exactly what had happened before she even got close enough for me to see.
Normally olive toned skin had grayed out, taking on a sickly color that I had seen twice before. The worst part, was that my mind was already screaming in anguish for the pair when I looked into Maya’s eyes. When my gaze met her own, I felt as if the whole of the world had come to a stop. Suddenly, it became difficult to breathe, but despite that, I remained standing if for no other reason than the little boy by her side.
She knew.
Whatever the reason could be, the look in Maya’s eyes spelled everything out. No matter what people were being told, she was more than aware that her time was running out. Which begged the question, why was she wasting her time here?
“Morning, Maya.” I offered softly, moving to drop my hand holding the cigarette back behind me. The words were paltry ones to offer, I knew that. Something told me that even though those words were empty and dull, at that moment they were needed.
“Heya, Angel.” God, even her voice was thready and weak. It made me cringe slightly as I heard those words pass her lips. Frowning, I met her gaze once again, only to see the subtle shake of her head from side to side as she lifted her hand to guide Christian towards me.
“Well, look who we have here. Is that a Mike Wizowski I see?” Forcing the words past the lump in throat, I could only breathe a little in relief as the mention of one of the child’s beloved cartoon characters brought a smile to his face.
“Boo!” Christian’s yell, while expected, ran across my already frayed nerves and caused me to jump. While I personally thought I might have peed myself a little as my nerves clamored, a quick assessment of my clothing confirmed I had escaped unscathed even while the little boy laughed in glee. Smiling at him and offering a wink, I slowly lifted my gaze back to his mother.
My heart twisted when I saw the sad look in her eyes. However ill she may have been feeling, there was no doubt that she was mentally saying goodbye to the little boy standing in front of me. The sight of that caused any words I wan
ted to say to stick in my throat as her son moved to make his way back towards her.
My eyes scanned over her quickly and soon enough I found exactly what I had been dreading seeing. Just under the sleeve of her shirt, near the elbow was an angry red mark in the shape of a bite. My smile shifted to a frown as I forced my gaze back to Maya and struggled to find the words for what I wanted to say. However, that choice was taken from me as she spoke again, working to keep her voice level so that her son would have no idea just how dire the situation happened to be.
“Angel, I’m glad I caught you. I know this is last minute, but I need to head into town for the day and I was hoping you could watch Christian for me. I called everyone else I know but they’re all either heading out of town or not in a position to take him.” Jade green eyes pleaded with me over the top of the little boy’s head. Holy hell. No matter the words she had spoken out loud, I read them for what they were, ‘I’m dying, please take my son’.
What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? I wanted to ask her if she was sure about this. Did she really want to hand her child over to me to take care of? What the hell were my qualifications to even think about taking on a kid? Sure, he was out of diapers, but I knew literally zip about raising a child.
The doubt on my face must have been obvious because while I stood there trying to come up with the words to speak, Maya offered one small whisper.
“Please, Angel.”
Any reservations I may have had blew away at the desperation I heard in Maya’s voice. As bad off as she seemed to be, her eyes watered with murky tears that took me aback before I let out a small sigh and peered down at Christian then back up at her.
“You’re sure about this?” I asked a little hesitantly. Turning a little, I flicked my cigarette away with the tips of my fingers before shaking my head and offering my other hand to the little one. Small fingers wrapped around my own and caused a lump to form in my throat.
“Yes. Let me go get you his car seat.” Watching Maya as she walked away, I felt my eyes smarting as my vision blurred. Much as I may have wanted to lose it right there in the parking lot, it was the small tug of the toddler’s hand beside me that quelled any inclination to give in to the overwhelming despair settling in on me.
“Angiel, Angiel! Momma lemme brings Nemo and Mike Wizzzooowwwwwwwsssskkkkkiiiiii.” Peering down at the little one, I offered what I hoped would be seen as a bright smile. Guileless hazel blue eyes peered back up at me and my heart wrenched once again. What could Maya possibly want me to do with Christian? Was I supposed to find her distant relatives or her husband’s? Surely she didn’t mean for me to take him permanently.
I admit, to help her out I’d let her use me as a reference for her son’s daycare, but this…there was no possible way she could mean to make me his permanent guardian. Still, as he peered up at me I could only smile, lifting him up and bouncing him on my hip as I answered him, “Well then, I guess we’re gonna be watchin’ some movies later.”
Closing my eyes, I hugged the little guy tightly. The poor kid had no idea that this would likely be a forever goodbye with his mother. For a moment, I wished I could be so innocent and naïve, just pleased to have my favorite movies and a character pillow to make all in my world complete.
Inhaling deeply, the scent of baby shampoo and cinnamon assaulted my senses. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to be able to wave some kind of magic wand and conjure a miracle for his mother. How could anyone consider this right? Again, the odds against humanity were making themselves known in the most gut wrenching way possible.
“Yayyyyyyyyy!” Small arms flew up, one little fist catching me on the chin and causing me to laugh before the child in my arms made grabby hands at the door to the Explorer. “We’sgonna go fer rides?”
“Yeah, for a little bit.” My words choked out softly as I shook my head. Small hands clapped excitedly before those brilliant hazel eyes peered up at me once more. God help me, what was I going to do?
“We’s gets chick’n nuggets?” He asked again and all I could do in reply wasnod my head absently. If it were possible, I’d have gotten the kid anything he wanted to stop the terrible amount of hurt I knew would be coming his way.
“C’mon buddy, I’ll put you in the car until your Mom gets back with your seat.” Forcing the words past my lips, I made my way to the rear driver side of the Explorer and moved to open the door. Grateful that the day hadn’t heated up enough to cause the interior to become too painful to sit on, I plopped Christian down with a small crashing sound.
While he giggled away I heard the soft gasp of air from behind me and turned to see Maya standing there watching us. I felt like an intruder on something I had no right to be a part of. Cloudy tears filled her eyes and I watched as the pale gray cast of her skin whitened at the knuckles when her grip tightened on the car seat she held.
I reacted the only way I knew how, biting my lip as I brought my hands up and shook my head. It was an apologetic gesture and one that seemed meaningless as she gave me a watery smile.
“Let me get him strapped in?” Maya’s words were filled with pain, an enormous amount of grief that I had never thought a single human could bear. Her pain resounded in the depths of my heart so plainly that I could only gasp as I stepped to the back of the Explorer and try to feign indifference. Tears trailed down my cheeks as I stood there to listen to what she had to say to her son.
“Momma, Angiel said we’s gonna gets chick’n.” Christian’s chirpy little voice sounded from the interior of my car and the sound brought a mixture of emotions. That joy that seemed infectious from a child’s excitement and happiness was being diminished by the sorrow that came from his mother along with the lack of knowledge about just what he was losing.
“Well, I guess you have to be a good boy then, right?” Maya’s voice broke, those few words seemingly taking all the fight she had in her. My own fingers curled into small fists as I fought the urge to rage at the sky about how unfair this was.
“Ise always a good boy Mommy.” His soft laugh filtered through the air and again my heart twisted.
“I know you are, little one.” Maya’s voice whispered softly, “Listen to me, Momma is sick and she has to go see the doctor. I want you to listen to me, Christian…Always remember that Mommy loves you. You be good for Angel, always listen to her, you understand?”
“Ise listen Momma. I loves you too!” Christian’s sing song voice rang through the air with such clarity and sweetness that I felt a tear slip down my cheek.
Shaking my head, I turned to watch Maya lean in and hug the little boy now settled in my back seat tightly. Her small body shaking while small arms hugged her in return. Sadly, the little one's next words caused my already breaking heart to bleed.
“Why you holdin’ me so tight, Momma? Is I sick toos?” Such innocent words and he had no idea how devastating they likely were. Dragging in a painful breath I turned to look at Maya then, her head shaking from side to side as she shored herself up to offer him a smile.
“No, baby. You won’t get sick. Your Auntie Angel will be sure about that.” Her words took me by surprise. Never in the two years I’d known the pair, had Maya ever referred to me as Auntie Angel. Under other circumstances, I may have laughed it off, or just taken the time to shake my head and wave it away. However, in that moment it was honestly like a death knell. Whether it happened to be for Maya, myself, or all of us…I had no earthly idea. Even while I pondered over that, she continued speaking, “Remember what I said, Christian. Momma loves you. Listen to Auntie Angel and do everything she tells you to do.”
“Okays, Momma. I love you too. Youse go get your shots from the doctor now and gets all better.” He offered a bright smile and I found myself unwilling or unable to offer him one in return. I tried though, ending up giving him a strange smirk as Maya stepped back and closed the door to the car.
For a long moment, we both remained silent. Struggling to find words, I stared into those dulled,
jade colored hues and tried to find a voice to ask what I needed to know.
“Don’t.” She began, and I found myself taken aback by her abrupt tone of voice. “I know what you’re going to say, but the answer is no. There is no one else I want him to be with.”
“Maya, I’m not a mom. Hell, I’m not ready for my own…”
“Yes, you are. I’ve seen you with Christian. Look, if I had family I’d tell you to take him to them. As it stands, my choices are you or a teenager that has no idea how to take care of themselves. I know that this is asking a lot of you, but I trust that you’ll take care of him.” Maya’s words were whispered with a healthy amount of urgency.
“Maya, you can’t know…”
“I know what I saw last night with the guy that bit me. I also know that this is heaping a lot on you, but I saw you out my window last night. You know what’s happening here.” Sorrow was clearly etched on her face as she moved to grab my forearms, “I’ve heard you talk about your family. You’ll take my boy there and he’ll be safe.”
“Maya…are you sure there’s not…”
“My parents are long dead. So are Ben’s and neither of us had siblings.” Maya pleaded, “I know when I head to the hospitalI won’t be coming back. I need to know Christian is with someone who will take care of him.”
What the hell did you say to that? You couldn’t flat out deny someone a request like this, not without seeming like a completely inhumane bitch. Maya also had a point; I had a plan to meet up with my family and friends. Once there, the little guy would be a lot safer and well protected, just like Andi.
“Alright.” I frowned and peered up at Maya once again. Giving a soft sigh as I spoke softly, “What do you want me to tell him?”
“He’s young enough, that he’ll eventually forget. He’s only four, but when he asks, you just tell him I’m still sick with the doctor. One day, he won’t even remember me.” Maya’s lip trembled, her hand clutching and releasing the front of her shirt in an unsteady rhythm.