‘I know, but I still see her. If I go, then I won’t see you both for a year Chris.’ I feel a sob stifle in my throat at verbalising it and the doubts all flood straight back in, winding me in the gut. I haul over the unicorn mug that now holds cold coffee and play with the handle.
‘We will keep this place warm for you. You need to follow your heart, chase your dreams. You can go places with your talents Soph’s, don’t let us hold you back.’ He sounds hoarse, a touch emotional too and I just let the tears erupt a little. I hate that I love them both so much, that the thought of leaving them kills me this way.
‘Promise me you will visit me?’ I sob down the cell phone and sigh heavily to get it all back inside.
‘I swear. As often as I can. You don’t lose me that easily princess.’ He seems to be crying too and the ping of the oven alerts my attention.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow. I need to go take the food out and he will be home soon. I love you Christian.’ I wipe the back of my hand over my face and pull myself together. Sighing heavily and pushing my brain into action with my plans for Arry getting home. Pulling myself together because it’s going to be so much worse talking this over with him.
‘Good luck. Wow him with sex and then show him the letter.’ He giggles down the line and I only eyeroll at his typical suggestion.
‘It’s always sex with you. Goodbye.’ I laugh at his dramatic goodbye in return, and hang up before he drags it out more. Suddenly overcome with apprehension as I move to the oven to remove the food that I am heating up. Arry has been teaching me the basic of food prep, he prepares a lot of what I come home to and stick in the oven, but it means we eat better and the house keeper is never short of recipe suggestions.
* * *
I nervously dish the food onto plates, watching the clock for him to get home from his evening training and fuss around the table. It’s been a weird day, he stayed home late this morning, with me in bed because it’s a rare day off for me and left for work before noon. Whistling as he went because his libido has never failed us in the past year, and he hasn’t really ever stopped wanting to get naked with me every second of every day since.
That’s when I went down for the mail to see him off and discovered the offer from the fashion academy. I have been mulling it over for hours, my head churning itself crazy.
I’m top of my class in school and earning recommendations by the truckload. I have been recognised for skills and achievements all year, focused on pushing myself to do my best. This is the pay off, and now it’s sat staring at me from the counter top, I don’t know what to do.
I fix my dress, smooth my hair and lay out the dressing on the table besides the salad, trying not to overly focus on just how confused I feel about the offer. I want him to be happy about what I have to talk about, but everything rests on how he is going to react. What he says when I tell him that they offered me an entire year in another place.
I feel a pang of nerves as the elevator chimes, signalling his return and quickly fix the silverware, straightening it all out, holding my palms to my cheeks to cool the flush of heat and paste on a bright smile as the doors open across the hall.
Arrick walks in wearing his grey hoody and sweats and dumps his gym bag down near the entranceway, kicking off his sneakers and smiling my way as he pulls off his sweater. Looking as delicious as he always does and warming my insides with just his presence. It never gets old, his coming home is like a warm hug every time, and he is still my most favourite person in the whole world. I still spend every second with him that I can.
‘Hey beautiful, something smells good.’ He hangs up his top over the array of my coats that are now overtaking the hallway and makes his way towards me. His hair is damp, suggesting he has showered already and I feel a sense of relief that I won’t have to wait to do this. Coming level with me he eyes the perfectly laid out dinner and kisses me on the neck from behind, catching me in his arms and nuzzling me affectionately.
‘This looks amazing Mimmo, but you look even more so. I don’t know which I’m hungrier for.’ He pulls my face round towards him and kisses me passionately, making my toes curl, like he always does. It’s been a year of being his and nothing has changed with how much affection he showers me with, how big a smile I get anytime he comes home or how much he likes to take me to bed to find new ways to pleasure me. I thought some of it would wear off when the novelty did, but he is consistently adorable.
Still love you to the moon and back.
‘Dinner first, that after. There’s something else…’ The pang of nerves hits me in the stomach again and that little shiver of anticipation that this is a bad idea. Arrick, as always, in tune to me, senses the change and I see the crease of concern slightly hit that perfect brow.
‘What’s wrong?’ He catches my chin and turns my nose to his, a hairs breadth apart so he can study my face and try and work out why I am being cagey.
‘What is it?’ He looks immediately worried. I kiss his nose, untangling from him with a breezy smile that is supposed to lighten the tension, but I can’t hold it for long. Walking to the counter I pick up the letter, bring it back and hand it to him, my own brow creased in sheer uncertainty. I can’t even formulate what I need to say and know the letter will do it so much better. Hands clammy and heart pounding through my chest as faint fear gets me right in the gut.
He takes the letter silently, looking from my face to the paper with dead pan cool, unfolds it and reads carefully, his eyes scanning the words in silence with no expression that gives me any clues as to what he is thinking. He only takes a minute to get through it, looking unchanged. Finally, a smile breaks over his face.
‘They offered you a scholarship for a year to some French fashion academy?’ He beams at me. Real show of pride running across his gorgeous face and I still just get that tight knot of anxiety biting inside. Waiting for him to realise what that means.
‘You really are good at what you do baby, why is this a bad thing?’ He puts the letter down and moves to catch me once more, pulling me in by the waist so I’m against him snugly, moulding to him in our unique perfect way.
‘It’s a year… An alternative to my year here at the New York design school.’ I frown at him, unsure why he is taking this so well when the letter makes it clear that it is in France. Feeling fragile at this topic, and not sure if this is how I even wanted him to react.
‘’And? The problem is?’ He’s smiling at me again, a frown creasing his own brow, obviously confused with what I am getting at. Not seeing why this would upset me and it only makes me feel worse. Little insecure niggles spiking up, even though they are not as bad as they once were. I will always have minor insecurities within me that peek up when I don’t want them too.
‘In Paris Arry…Not here.’ I bite on my lip and study his expression, waiting for the outburst, but yet again, he smiles and leans in to kiss me with a soft grin.
‘Do you want to go?’ He asks softly, as though it’s the simplest question in the world. I stare at him silently for a moment as tears fill my eyes, nodding and then look away as one rolls down my cheek pitifully, really hurting inside. Arrick tilts his head to one side so he can still see me and nudges me gently.
‘And that makes you cry why?’ He smiles at me again, hands coming up to my face and stroking away the tear with his thumb. Always so gentle with me, so endearing and affectionate. It just makes me want to sob.
‘I don’t want to leave you.’ I cry some more and bury my face against his t-shirt instead, sniffing as his arms wrap around me snugly, trying to get some comfort from him while verbally he is giving me none. I don’t get why this is not affecting him. Why he is so willing to just let me go after the year of happiness we have had together.
Our life is perfect. We haven’t had any of the fights or outbursts from the days of Natasha ever since. We just seem to work so well, cohabit flawlessly, despite our conflicting personalities where domestic crap is concerned. I don’t get why he would just let
it go so readily when it is ripping me in two.
‘Who said anything about leaving me?’ Arrick props my chin up to him so he can look at me once more, again wiping away the tears, only this time he leans in and kisses me softly.
‘You think I would let you travel across the world to fend for yourself, for a year, baby? You can barely take care of yourself on the odd weekend I have to fly out for fights and leave you for a max of three days. If you’re going to Paris, then you’re stuck with me coming too. You attract trouble like crazy and I don’t trust anyone else to look after you.’ Arrick rubs his nose against mine, bringing a tiny smile to my face that makes me realise how dumb I am being. The reason he doesn’t see it as a big deal is because he isn’t letting me go alone.
‘Really?’ I brighten up as I stare at him hopefully. I feel so stupid that I didn’t even think he would offer me this option, so sure it had been a case of me having to leave to go to school, and him staying here.
‘Really! I told you Mimmo, we’re in this together, always. I don’t need to be here to train, I fight all over the country, and it’s only a flight. It’s not forever. I’m sure Carrero Corp can do without me for a few months. Besides, it’s the city of romance isn’t it? The hell I’m letting you alone out there with your track record of attracting every male who lays eyes on you, you might never come back to me.’ He kisses me again, this time harder and takes my breath away with the sheer passion behind it. Arms tight around me and knocking away all my stupid little niggles and fear with one confident lingering smooch.
I love you so much.
‘You would do that for me? Leave New York so I can go to school in another country?’ I dry my eyes ungracefully and wipe my nose on the back of my hand, un-phased by him watching me adoringly. Comfortable in my own skin when it comes to him,
‘School is important, your future is important, and I already told you. You need to find your feet and place in this world to be happy baby; It doesn’t mean I can’t be there with you on that journey.’ Arrick leans in and circles his arms around my butt, squeezing firmly and picking me up so I’m suspended, yet taller than he is. He carries me across to the couch and lays me down on my back across it, crawling carefully over the top of me and nestling down so our bodies meet perfectly, caging me in, nose to nose.
‘I love you.’ I sigh heavily, meaning every single word with conviction; heart full to bursting right now. I kiss his nose, running my fingers through that short sandy coloured hair and rake them gently over his scalp.
‘I love you more.’ He smiles in the heartthrob Hollywood best he saves only for special occasions. Melting me into a bowl of goo and making my toes curl.
‘Guess I better accept the placement on Monday, right?’ I smile, wriggling under him as he shifts over me and seems to fish around at the side of the couch.
‘Right. I’ll start apartment shopping when you I drop you off. For now though, there’s something else.’ Arrick moves over me and leans down the side of the couch, looking down as he slides his arm underneath and feels around. I watch him with a furrowed brow and a smile. Confused by his sudden intense look of concentration and wonder what the hell he is even doing. He is just so accepting of the fact we just committed to move to another country for a year and yet, he is more focused on something under the couch.
‘What are you doing?’ I giggle as he slides further and stretches out more to reach further, almost pulling both of us off the side we are teetering on. I grip his shoulders in case I do meet floor from the odd angle he has me perched.
‘Looking for… Got it.’ He grins, coming back up, hauling us both back to rights and nuzzling back in, pulling a wrapped box with him. He holds it up proudly; it’s about the size of a ring box, only flat and he pulls back to his knees before sitting comfortably on his haunches and watches me with a very happy expression.
‘So tonight, would or should have been Leilas anniversary party, right?’ He looks at me with that boyish smile. So much going on behind those eyes as they rest on me, I wiggle myself up to sit up too and regard him curiously.
‘Right, except they all got chicken pox and it’s a month away now.’ I sit up properly, pulling my legs under to one side in the tight dress and stare at the brown wrapped box with a frown of confusion, guessing it’s for me. Gifts are something he does regularly, but I didn’t expect one tonight. My head is still dancing with delight at the fact we are going to Paris to continue my studies in fashion and not quite focusing on what he is saying.
‘So that means in about three hours we had sex for the first time, a year ago tonight.’ He grins at me. Naughty twinkle on those sexy eyes.
‘It wasn’t exactly something we finished, but yeah, I guess. This isn’t some weird memento from that night, is it? Like the cushion cover I left make up on or something equally weird, because I know how lame you can be.’ I smile sweetly, frowning at him in complete seriousness. Arry has a box of ticket stubs, weird crap that girls normally save from our many dates over the past months and I think it’s just strange.
‘Thanks baby. Very heart-warming to know that, and no. This is a gift for you. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the first day of us…. I kinda liked tonight’s anniversary a little more though.’ He winks naughtily, and I can only roll my eyes at him. Obvious that he picks the night he first got to bang me, over the morning he made me his girlfriend.
‘You would! …. It’s always sex with you. I am starting to agree with Christian that you may be closet gay though, normal men don’t do all the romantic stuff you do.’ I poke fun at him merrily, screwing up my nose to match his expression and we face off each other in a war of stupid faces that has me giggling insanely in seconds. He is the king of weird faces.
‘I think that’s wishful thinking on his part, don’t think I don’t notice you two comparing notes on me when you think I’m not looking.’ He slides his fingers through my hair, pushing it back off my face with a sweet sigh.
‘He agrees your ass is a ten plus… Although he does not like your unsymmetrical tattoos, he thinks it’s like some designer no no. I disagree, I think it’s sexy all down one side.’ I lift the hem of his top and try to wiggle my fingers underneath to get a cop of that luscious abdomen and peek at his new additions across his waist line. He is running out of body on one side and now the very sexy line that sits across the top of his ring shorts has been getting some new scrolling additions.
‘Focus baby…. Presents, not sexy bodies.’ He smirks, removes my hands and chucks me under the chin to bring me back to him. I flutter lashes at him then bring my eyes with a tug back to the box in hand.
‘Can I open it?’ I reach for it, but he moves it above his head playfully.
‘I should really make you wait the three hours; pretty sure we didn’t actually have sex until after midnight buuut…… I can never hold anything back from you, even the fact it’s been under here since yesterday has been agony to hide.’ He smiles again, this time lowering the box between us and holding it out to me gingerly. He is hopeless at surprises, so he usually makes them short lived and fast to plan, otherwise he ends up telling me. I grin at him looking at me, sighing heavily, and take it graciously with a little childish giggle.
I open the paper carefully, untie the twine and unwrap it like a precious prize and open the box. Inside tissue paper covers the contents and I pull it back gently and carefully, to reveal a fine silver chain necklace with a small puzzle piece hanging from it, nestled on a little padded velvet cushion. The initials A and S carved so very daintily into it.
Tears instantly fill my eyes, as emotion hits me in the stomach and I get exactly what this means. Tears falling fast at just how thoughtful and perfect this is, knowing exactly why he would choose it and I stifle a sob, screwing up my face to curb the urge to cry.
‘I’m your uniquely shaped puzzle piece?’ I sniff again, fingering it lovingly, blown away with the depths of love he showers on me every single day. I never expected this at all.
&nb
sp; ‘You are. Don’t ever doubt that I would walk to the ends of the earth for you, because I will follow you anywhere.’ He takes the box from me, removes the jewellery so carefully and un hooks the catch; motioning for me to turn around for him. I get up on my knees and scoot around, so he can put it on me, moving my hair as he fastens it gently behind my neck, nestling perfectly at collarbone level. It’s so beautiful in so many ways.
‘I never got you a present, you didn’t tell me we were doing this.’ I answer softly, through soft sniffles, fingering the pendant lovingly, turning back to him with so many intense feelings for him in this moment.
‘You’re my present. Anytime I see you smile and know it’s because of me… That’s all I need.’ He leans in and hits me with a peck on the lips, swift and spot on and I giggle when I try to catch his mouth for more and almost fall forward onto him. He catches me and puts me upright again.
‘You’re such a loser.’ I poke fun at him, wiping my tears, trying to reign the way my heart is pounding achingly in my chest. Smiling at the way his whole expression softens and that irresistible full on smile comes out to play. He looks so very content and happy in this moment.
‘That’s probably the most beautiful sentence that ever comes out of your mouth.’ He smiles, stroking my face with his thumb, bends down and kisses me again, this time properly. My lips part on touch for a little tongue action, before pulling back and pulling me into his arms so we are both kneeling on his couch, face to face and almost moulded together perfectly.
The Carrero Heart_The Journey_Arrick and Sophie Page 45