by Hirukuma,
Several customers come in while they’re changing, too, and they start to buy things from me. As I interact with them the same way I usually do, the girls finish changing, and soon it’s time to go home.
“I’m bringing Boxxo back home, so if you want anything else, get it now!” calls out Lammis. People bursting out of the bath room and women in the middle of changing all swarm me, and I sell quite a few cold beverages, bottles of shampoo, and different varieties of towels.
“Heeey, excuse me, could you lend Boxxo to the guys’ side, too?!” comes a man’s loud voice from the other side of the wall separating the genders. Was that the gatekeeper Karios? I don’t have a problem with it, so I reply with a “Welcome” at maximum volume.
“Then come to the public bath entrance to get him!”
“Okay, got it. Come on, you lot!”
When Lammis goes out, a group of sordid, half-naked men are there waiting. The guys hoist me up like a portable shrine and carry me into the men’s changing room.
“Give him right back! We still have somewhere to go,” Lammis calls after them.
“Will do. Let’s buy what we want!”
They carry me into the changing room, then set me down, after which half-naked and fully naked men surround me, buying my products like it’s the end of the world.
Most of the men don’t bother with the hair treatment or the shampoo; they just get soap and wash their whole body with it, so the soap is selling out at an alarming rate.
The coffee milk is also a hit, and the majority of the men getting out of the bath are buying it. And as though it’s simply common practice in this world, they all put their hands on their hips while they drink it.
Once they’re done buying things, they carry me back outside.
“Welcome back,” says Lammis, who is waiting for me.
“Thank you,” I answer. She smiles in response.
“Man, that was a huge help, Boxxo,” says Karios. “We’re going to start wanting one of you in every household.”
“True,” agrees Gorth, nodding deeply. They’re together all the time, huh? You’d think it would feel stifling to be together both on and off the job, but they must have an affinity for each other. Wait—are they like that, maybe? No, that’s a bit of an assumption to be making…
“Oh, hello, Karios, Gorth. Thank you again for your regular patronage.”
They notice Shirley there as she smiles seductively and bows a little, and they bow their own heads awkwardly.
I see—they’re regulars, apparently? I think I can still interact with them from now on without giving them weird looks, maybe.
“Hup, ho! Shirley, sorry for making you wait. We can go now!”
“This was perfect to cool down, so don’t worry.”
They bring me along to her workplace, and Karios and Gorth follow closely behind. I’m pretty sure I know why. Night has fallen, so having them here makes the nighttime streets safer for us anyway.
Without any particular problems, Shirley’s workplace comes into sight. I was prepared to pass through an alley or something, but we did none of that; the shop was farther down a main street.
As we walk on, we see the number of young men, as well as women in exposing outfits, increase. I figured we were close to the shop, but it is—how should I put this?—a good and proper storefront.
It looks and feels like a row of one-story tenements. A strong-bodied man wearing armor has his lance at the ready, perhaps both out of intimidation and to impart a sense of safety.
“All right. Lammis, Boxxo, come this way.”
Shirley trades glances with the pair behind us and nods, and I see them both scratch the backs of their heads in slight embarrassment.
After that, as Lammis happily chows down on some high-class tea snacks, I finish our business of selling her additional condoms and we chat for a bit. When it gets late, we set ourselves on the road home.
“It’s late, so I’ll have some of your food and then go to sleep.”
Despite carrying a vending machine with her Might, she is still a cute girl. There’s no being too cautious, either, so I shine my light around us to keep watch.
“I know. Today you can sleep inside with me instead of outside. I smell really good today. Boxxo, if you were human, you could sleep next to me. Does that make you feel too bad?”
Without thinking, I respond to her joke. “Too bad.”
“Huh? Boxxo, what…?”
My voice slipped out. I have to fool her.
“Get one free with a winner.”
“Boxxo, are you playing dumb? Hey, come on, what did you say, really?”
Ugh. She doesn’t usually pursue things like this. I can see her profile from behind; she seems like she’s having fun, so she must be teasing me.
“Come on, tell me!”
“Please come again.”
Our conversation sounds unintelligible, but Lammis is smiling. If I had a face, I might be smiling right along with her. It’s the kind of night where even a conversation like this makes me happy, and I really start to feel like being a vending machine isn’t so bad.
The Slot Machine
I decided to get another new feature.
I’ve wanted it for a while, but I was always busy with one thing or another and kept delaying it. Things have calmed down recently, though, so I jumped in and bought it…
“Get one free with a winner.”
“All right, all right, come on, seven, seven, siiiiix, whaaaaaaaaaat?!”
“Too bad.”
Yes—I can finally use these voice lines for their original purpose. I added a slot machine. The kind everyone hopes for at least once, where you get a second item for free if you line up three sevens.
Ever since introducing it, my sales have gone up almost 30 percent. This settlement has few places to go for entertainment, so even a simple slot machine is hooking in one after another.
Aside from that, a shady rumor has been going around that if you hit the jackpot, you’ll have good luck all day, and it seems like there are more people buying just to try their luck.
My aim was that they could enjoy a little more spice in their day-to-day lives, but one of my regulars has gotten more addicted than I thought he would, and today he’s buying too much again.
“Calm down—just calm down. This is the last one. I promise. The statistics so far say that water is most likely to win. Therefore, buying water is a shortcut to certain victory!”
I think that’s because you almost never buy anything but water, Pops.
He scratches his white hair madly, his eyes bloodshot and breathing ragged, putting his finger on the button and pumping himself up. It’s the old man who always comes in the morning in the group of three. His face seems incredibly sober and dignified. Now, if he’d just keep his mouth shut… What a shame.
Until now, he was usually coming here with the old lady, but ever since implementing the slot system, he comes alone, early in the morning when nobody is around, tries the slots at least six times, then goes back home.
For what it’s worth, the people who install the slot-machine function in vending machines can freely change the probabilities.
And as a piece of trivia, there’s a rumor that if you want to hit the jackpot, you should buy unpopular items.
Even though it’s a slot system, because of a law called the Premiums and Representations Act, there is a set limit to the value of premiums you can give as general prizes. The prizes are set at 2 percent of the total expected profit margin.
In other words, I can provide two prizes per every hundred purchases.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that it all comes down to luck. If you really want to hit the jackpot, you’ll have a certain chance if you pour all your money into everything the vending machine has in it, but… Oh, and I made my machine’s probability 2 percent. If this were Japan, the setting would keep my conscience clear.
“Everything rests on this one coin! My gambling life comes d
own to this one coin!”
“What are you doing, honey…?”
The old man gives a start and turns around to see the old lady waggling her cane at him with a smile on her face. She finally found him out. It was inevitable—he’s been sneaking out of the house early in the morning every day.
“I swear I thought you were back to your old habits, chasing after the girls’ bottoms again…but to think it was this disease that relapsed.”
“N-no, honey, that’s not… L-look, I was just thinking of buying you a soup, too, and— Ouch!”
As the old man makes excuses, the old lady brings her cane down onto the crown of his head. It was a pretty merciless blow. Is he all right?
“Don’t worry. If your skull splits, I’ll heal you.”
Right, the old lady can use the Blessing of Healing Light, can’t she? Then I don’t have to worry…do I?
“I swear. You haven’t forgotten what today is, have you?”
“I know, I know… Just one more.”
“Hoooneeeey.”
The old lady twists the cane and pulls on it, and I glimpse the sharp glint of a blade. That was a sword cane? The old man is wholly retreating from this peacefully smiling, sword-cane-brandishing old lady.
She has a refinement to her features; I can easily imagine her being a beauty back in the day. The smile on her face would normally be attractive, but why do I feel a chill?
“P-please stop! Your skill is no joke. Fine—I’m sorry.”
“As long as you understand. Let’s be off now.”
The old lady starts dragging him away. He casts several reluctant glances back at me. Normally, it feels like the old lady does what the old man says, but maybe he’s actually a henpecked husband.
His slot-playing was more on edge than it usually is. From the way the lady talked, it seems like there’s an important event today. Maybe he didn’t want to go and came to me to escape reality.
If I could talk, I’d offer to listen to his complaints, but vending machines can only sell things.
I provide my usual products while thinking about the old man, and the next thing I know, the settlement is dyed in scarlet. Evening… We’re inside a dungeon, but the sun still rises and sets as if we aren’t. Plus, it’s starting to feel normal to me. Maybe I’m getting used to this alien world.
Lammis seems busy today; she’s been on autopilot near the Hunters Association all day.
I’ve been hearing a lot lately about eateries and stalls feeling provoked by my vending machine products and improving their own flavors. I think the settlement getting energized is a good thing, so I don’t stock edible items from evening until night.
The people of this world seem to have an early bedtime. Even at the latest, all the stores are closed by ten PM. After that, I’ve taken to stocking warm cup ramen, cans of oden, and lately, cans of curry udon.
There’s a mode that lets me heat up frozen foods, too, but said feature would take up half the vending machine when I used it, so the problem is whether to use beverage mode for the other half or to put cup ramen there.
“Grandpa, Grandma, are you hungry? That square thing is the box that gives you lots of food, right? May isn’t hungry, but do you know if it’s good or not?”
I hear a young girl’s voice. Sounds like an indirect request. The stress she puts on not actually wanting to eat anything is kind of cute. A slightly precocious child, maybe?
“Oh, that’s right. Should we buy something? What do you want to eat, May?”
Hmm? Isn’t that the old man who frequents me? His irritable attitude from this morning is gone, replaced by a full smile as he holds the girl’s hand. Next to them are the old woman and a mature-looking lady with braids who appears to be in her twenties.
“I’m glad I took the plunge and came… I’m sorry my daughter is so undutiful.”
“For a parent, the most undutiful thing a child can do is to die before us. Anyway, you were born when we were rather old, so I think we spoiled you a lot, too.”
They step right into a heavy conversation. I know it’s rude of someone unrelated to listen in, but I can’t even plug my ears, so give me a break.
Is that woman their daughter? The old couple looks to be in their late sixties, so if their daughter is actually in her thirties, the age difference isn’t that strange.
“He was reluctant until the end, though. Deep down, he wanted to see you. He’s always so dishonest with himself.”
“I was prepared to be disowned when I eloped with him, so of course. And with someone Grandpa didn’t like. I couldn’t come back home so shamelessly after that…”
“You’re wrong—he was worried about you. Say all you want about this place, but it’s still a dungeon infested with monsters. We just had another monster attack recently, after all—our defenses are thin. And then you write to us saying you’re coming to visit whether we like it or not. He was worried sick.”
“Really?”
“Really. And because you left to come visit so suddenly, he was so stressed that his gambling addiction from so long ago came back,” explained the old woman, gazing at the old man and their granddaughter as they stood in front of me picking out something to buy.
Ah, so that’s why the old man has been playing the slots so much recently, searching for a way to beat it. It was to prepare for this day, to cling to straws, to try to hit the jackpot rumored to grant good luck for the day.
“Grandpa, what are these numbers for?”
“Ah, well. You see, when you buy something, they spin. If you get all the same number, you get another one for free. And if you win, everyone says you’ll be lucky for the whole day.”
“Wow, really? May wants to try! I’ll win it for sure!”
The girl raises her hands and bounces up and down. The old man narrows his eyes and smiles, as though his granddaughter is giving off a brilliant light. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him make such a kind face.
“Then give it a try. I’ll put in the coin, so choose whatever one you want. By the way, I recommend the water.”
“Okay, I’ll try!”
I switch a few things around to put the orange juice on the bottommost row, where she’s likely to reach.
She stands on her tiptoes, trying as hard as she can, and touches the button for the orange juice. As it drops into the compartment, the numbers on the slots begin to move.
“A seven and a seven! We just need one more, right?”
“Well, that’s the part that never works. Even I’ve gotten this far.”
“Seeeven, seeeven, seeeven, seeeven… It’s a seven! We won!”
“Wh-what?!”
A fanfare plays, and the lights indicating warm and cool items begin to light up in sequence. The girl jumps for joy as the old man stares, at a loss for words.
He probably can’t believe what he’s seeing. He’s gotten the jackpot only once after all the money he’s poured in, and yet his granddaughter won on her first try.
“May, you have to choose soon, or else you won’t have time to pick your free one.”
“Then I’ll pick this!”
The girl chooses the item next to the orange juice—the mineral water.
“This is for you, Grandpa!”
“You’re giving it to me? Thank you. But if that day of good luck only starts now, then it will be over soon. What a shame.”
“Huh? Why? I was really lucky all day, since I got to see Grandpa and Grandma! It’s not a shame!”
When the old man hears that, he looks up at the reddened skies. I have a full view of his face from my height, and I see a shining drop at the edge of his eye.
An old man, an old woman, their daughter, and their granddaughter. As they walk away in a line, their shadows stretch out far across the ground. They sway and wave, mingling with one another, until they eventually disappear.
I don’t think I need to say whether it was coincidence that May won the jackpot.
Hidden Vending Machine
With the settlement’s reconstruction in full swing, Director Bear suddenly came to me with a request.
“Boxxo. I have heard you can use mimicry to blend in with your surroundings. Is this true?”
“Welcome.”
I didn’t know what he was up to, but there was no need to lie, so I answered truthfully. My words alone might not have convinced him, so despite being in my usual spot in front of the Hunters Association, I tried changing my colors to match the walls of the association headquarters.
The wall was behind me, but one of my features is Omnidirectional Vision, so I could see back there without a problem. Thanks to that, I should have been precisely replicating the wall, right down to its stains.
“Ho! Splendid. One would need to get pretty close to spot you. Boxxo, I have a request to make of you and that ability.”
Director Bear’s request was that they hide me in an area that has been seeing an outbreak of crimes due to all the people flowing in. I would then pick out the people committing them.
In order to investigate how good my mimicry ability is, he wants me to spend a day in front of the ruined wall of an abandoned house next to the Hunters Association headquarters without letting anyone find me.
I gave a friendly agreement. Director Bear went to Lammis and told her only that the association wanted to borrow me for the day, and he appeared to get her reluctant approval.
Then, in the middle of the night, they quietly carried me to a part of the wall they cut out beforehand and fit me into the hole. After that, I changed my body’s colors to match the wall, which brings me to my current situation.
I have a good view of the headquarters from here. Just a change in angle from what I’m used to seeing makes the early morning feel incredibly fresh to me.
The normal morning group of four came around like they usually do, but, unable to find me, they left. Forgive me—I’m on a special mission today. It may not be much of an apology, but I’ll change the slot probabilities for you next time.