Instead, she allowed herself to feel, just as Natalie had taught her.
When Mira faced adversity, she borrowed from her own personal frustrations as a dancer being passed over again and again for promotion. When Mira felt triumphant, she remembered what it was like picking up the phone to call her father to tell him she’d been cast in the show. When Mira lusted after Titus, her thoughts fell to Natalie and all of the sensations being near her inspired. Before Ana knew what had happened, the ballet was over. The stage lights dimmed on their final lift and she and Jason, alone onstage, were met with thunderous applause that enveloped and embraced her like the warmest of blankets. Tears sprang to her eyes as Jason lowered her to the stage deck and held her close. They moved into position for final bows, the emotion overwhelming, all encompassing.
This was the kind of moment she’d worked so hard for all of those years. Sacrificing creature comforts, a social life, and her physical well-being.
Standing onstage now, she knew it had all been worth it.
*
Natalie had never seen anything like the elegance on display at the opening-night party—correction, gala. Three ballets had performed that evening, culminating in the world premiere of Aftermath. In celebration, the promenade of the David H. Koch Theater had been transformed into a fantastic odyssey, akin to the journeys taken by many of the main characters onstage. Round tables, each surrounded by ten high-backed white chairs, dotted the promenade floor. Gigantic white balloons floated seamlessly two stories above, giving the room an otherworldly look and feel. The party was given not so much for the cast, but instead for the wider world of ballet. Board members, important donors, and celebrities shared the space with the company and creative teams at City Ballet in a lavish and splashy PR event.
Roger had already taken her on a semi-tour around the room, hitting up the VIPs. He introduced her as not only one of the lead dancers in his ballet, but one to watch. It was flattering and kind of exciting to feel important. On one hand, she reminded herself how much she hated art for commerce, which was kind of what this whole party was about. On the other, she told herself to shut the hell up and enjoy the evening. She landed somewhere in the middle, snagging a glass of champagne as it was whisked by and sighing at the pretense of it all. But then again, it was cool to meet Sarah Jessica Parker.
She checked her watch and eyed the door.
Ana should be out of costume, into her dress, and on her way down. Any minute now she should—
“Looking for someone?” a voice said quietly in her ear. She smiled in recognition and turned to congratulate the woman who’d stolen her heart with the performance she’d given. Instead, the words died on her lips at the sight of Ana in a floor-length pale peach gown that some designer must have created especially for her. Her hair was swept up, exposing the elegant lines of her neck. A simple necklace with a modest drop diamond fell just above the subtle dip of her cleavage, a spot Natalie’s eyes fell to and lingered.
“I’m up here, tiger,” Ana said quietly, but her face held amusement when Natalie finally did snap her gaze to it.
“I’m sorry. I was a little…captivated,” Natalie said apologetically. “Still am. You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.” A pause. Ana looked to her tentatively. “So what did you think?”
“I wish I had the right words. But I’ll go with superbly danced, intricately performed. You were a smash. I had tears in my eyes at the end, and I know the damn show backward and forward. You really brought it. Your best yet.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“I will never lie to you. That’s one guarantee I can make. And if you still don’t believe me, just take a stroll through this room and hear the chatter. It’s Aftermath everyone is talking about and, more specifically, you.”
“Ana,” Bill said, and kissed her on both cheeks. “Groundbreaking performance tonight. There are some donors I’d like you to meet.” He turned to Natalie. “Looking forward to tomorrow night, my dear.”
“I’ll be there.” Natalie widened her eyes at Ana as she was whisked away by Bill. Natalie surveyed the room and located Jason. Feeling the need to maybe…smooth things over with him before they danced together the next night, she headed his way.
“So you were awesome tonight,” she told him, once his conversation with an older couple concluded.
He eyed her carefully. “Thanks. Ana and I work really well together.”
“And it shows.”
“What, are you jealous?” He smiled at her, and it felt like a challenge.
“Of Ana?”
“Of me. I get to dance with her in a way you never will.”
Okay, so Jason was a little angrier than she realized, and maybe more of a prick. “Do you want to talk about this civilly? Because this isn’t some sort of contest for me.” They both paused to smile and say hello as a line of patrons walked past.
“Yeah, okay.” He straightened as if remembering himself. “Maybe that last comment was out of line, but you’re a bad idea for her,” he said quietly when they had a moment alone. “You’re reckless and unreliable. Not to mention, you had a girlfriend just a few weeks ago, and now all of a sudden you have a thing for Ana? Super convenient. What’s on the menu for next week?”
“You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do.”
“Sleep with whoever you want, Natalie. But can you just leave Ana out of it? Hell, I’m not sure she’s even really into girls. For all I know, that’s all your doing, too.”
Natalie raised an eyebrow and leaned in. “You’re gonna have to trust me when I tell you that it’s definitely not my doing.”
He shook his head, dubious. “Yeah, okay. If you say so.”
“Listen, Jason.” She softened and decided to take a new approach and just level with the guy. He was clearly hurting. “I genuinely care about Ana. I’m not playing any sort of game, and I have no plans to break her heart.”
He scoffed. “Famous last words. Have you met yourself? From what I hear, you quit things a lot.” He let the statement land. “If you’ll excuse me, I see a friend of mine.” He stalked away in annoyance and Natalie stared after him, not sure how that could have gone much worse.
“Hey,” Ana said, touching Natalie’s elbow as she returned. “I want you to meet a friend of mine.”
“Of course.” Natalie forced herself to brighten, shaking off the previous conversation, and followed where Ana led, which happened to be in the direction of a very beautiful and very familiar face.
“Natalie Frederico, meet Adrienne Kenyon, a supporter of City Ballet and a good friend of mine.”
“Oh, wow. Really nice to meet you,” Natalie said, offering her hand to the woman she’d seen on screen for years. Adrienne smiled and accepted the handshake. “I’m an admirer of your work.”
“I appreciate that. Ana says lots of really nice things about you. The show tonight was breathtaking. Really proud of the honorary kid sister here.” Adrienne bumped Ana’s shoulder.
“Well, that makes two of us.”
Adrienne turned to Ana. “Jenna would have absolutely loved it. I’m sad she missed it.”
Natalie looked to Ana in question.
“Jenna’s is Adrienne’s girlfriend. As in Jenna McGovern.”
“That’s right,” Natalie said. She remembered now that they were a couple. Suddenly, there was uncontrollable gushing. “I’m a huge fan of hers. I saw Elevation last summer on a short trip to the city and my head practically exploded. I stayed an extra day just so I could see it again. She’s a gifted dancer. I was inspired for days after.”
“I like her,” Adrienne said to Ana, and couldn’t have seemed more touched if Natalie’s compliment had been directed at her. “I agree with you one hundred percent and will certainly tell her what you said. Though Ana says you’re quite the gifted dancer yourself. I’d love to hear about your work in LA. Maybe we can all get together sometime.”
“We should,” Ana told he
r.
“Then we will.” Adrienne kissed Ana’s cheek. “You were on fire tonight. I’m so glad I got to see it. Natalie, a pleasure meeting you. I have no doubt you will slay tomorrow when you debut. Merde.” With a good-bye wave, Adrienne was on her way.
“So that was Adrienne,” Ana informed her. “She’s pretty great.”
“And warm. And kind. God. Living in LA, you never know what to expect from celebrities, but she really lives up.”
“Agreed entirely.”
“She called you her honorary kid sister.”
“Yeah. It’s always kind of been that way. She looks out for me.”
“Excuse me, ladies,” Bill said. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but there’s a photographer from New York magazine who wants to get a shot of the two of you. If you’ll follow me.”
The rest of the evening was much of the same. Lots of chitchatting, mingling, and an abundance of congratulating. They stayed until it felt like a good portion of the crowd had dwindled and their PR responsibilities had been fulfilled. Natalie looked on as Ana said good night to a longtime board member, still looking ridiculously hot in her gown. The visual was torturous for Natalie and had her staring at the ceiling so as not to appear too obvious to anyone paying attention. That damn gown mocked her, offering just a glimpse of Ana’s skin here, a bare shoulder there. Natalie’s thoughts were those of a teenage boy, and she wondered when a woman had last captivated her the same way Ana did.
Never, she informed herself. Never had anyone affected her this much. This woman was different.
In a way, the attraction was a double-edged sword. Her feelings for Ana came with an exhilarating rush, the kind of adrenaline that junkies chased. It also left her feeling vulnerable and terrified all at the same time. Natalie preferred being in charge of her own emotions and responses, but when it came to Ana, her heart and libido seemed to have minds of their own. She was merely along for the ride.
“What?” Ana asked, as she returned to her. “What’s with that very focused look?”
“I think when we get out of here, we need a celebration of our own,” Natalie whispered. Ana’s cheeks dusted with pink at the barely veiled suggestion. It was beyond cute, and Natalie wanted to kiss her then and there. Who had dubbed this woman an ice queen? The concept seemed so foreign to her now. Ana, as Natalie knew her in this moment, was anything but.
“I will grab my coat and my bag and meet you on the steps out front.”
“Is that a yes?”
Ana turned her face to the side and shot Natalie a heated look, sending a delicious chill through her stomach and downward.
Feeling extra deserving, she and Ana decided to take a cab home. They sat in silence on the ride, but Natalie had never been so aware of another person’s proximity. Sitting next to Ana, she could register the scent of watermelon from Ana’s lip gloss and feel the heat from Ana’s body against the chill of the night air. Everything about Ana inspired sensations in her body that she didn’t know what to do with.
Except she did.
God, she’d never wanted another human so badly.
Two blocks from their building, Ana turned her face against the seat and met Natalie’s gaze. Everything about it carried heat. The dark, hooded intensity spoke volumes as to what was on Ana’s mind, and that meant Natalie was not alone.
“My place?” Ana asked quietly.
Natalie nodded.
They were barely through the door when it all erupted. They met in a clash right there in the entryway of Ana’s living room. Before they could have counted to three, her mouth was on Ana’s or Ana’s was on hers. She wasn’t sure which. But God, did it feel good. She pulled back and stared at Ana, whose breathing was ragged and sexy. Natalie needed to see her, to look at her, to drink her in. She slid her hands into Ana’s thick hair, found her mouth once again, and plundered. Exploring, savoring, tasting. Ana’s murmur of approval only increased the sense of urgency, and Ana kissed her back with just as much authority.
Yeah, this was what she needed. This.
As they kissed, Ana’s hands were on the move. Natalie’s scarf was gone. On the floor. Ana snaked a hand behind her and she felt her zipper start to go. She smiled against Ana’s mouth. “You want this off?” she asked. “Is that what you want?”
Ana nodded.
Natalie could oblige.
She took Ana by the hand and led her to the couch. Most of the lights were still off, but Ana had managed to turn on a small lamp on the end table before everything went a little hazy. As Ana looked on, Natalie stood before her and unzipped her dress the rest of the way, stepping out of it once it fell. The little gasp Ana let out at the sight of Natalie in her black bikinis and bra caused her to steady herself a moment before walking to Ana and slowly straddling her on the couch.
Ana’s hands were on Natalie’s hips before slowly moving upward. She tossed her head back as they moved up her stomach, over her breasts, to her neck until they cradled her face. At the intimate touches, her body throbbed and she undulated her hips ever so slightly against Ana’s stomach.
“God, you’re beautiful,” Ana breathed. “I’ve never seen anything like you.” She then pulled Natalie’s face to hers and captured her mouth in an achingly hungry kiss. Natalie continued to push against Ana, signaling the need that was about to overtake her. As they kissed, Ana eased a hand between Natalie’s legs, on the outside of her underwear, and closed her eyes. “You’re so wet,” she whispered. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”
“This is what you do to me,” Natalie managed to say.
Without taking her eyes from Natalie’s, Ana unclasped the black bra and pulled the straps slowly down Natalie’s shoulders, revealing her breasts. “Look at you,” she said reverently. Her hands were on Natalie’s breasts instantly, and this time it was Natalie who murmured with pleasure as little arrows of desire pulsed through her. Ana caressed each breast, squeezing softly, her thumbs circling Natalie’s nipples. Natalie had never considered her breasts particularly sensitive, but as Ana kissed them and played and focused so intently on each one, Natalie thought she might come undone.
“We have to slow down,” she said. “Ana. Wait.”
“I don’t see why,” Ana said, pulling a nipple into her mouth, raking her teeth gently across it and then not so gently. God. “I like our pace.”
Natalie rocked her hips desperately, pushing against Ana, anything that would give her purchase. “I don’t think I can hold on.”
“Who said you have to?” Ana whispered. She wrapped one arm around Natalie’s waist to steady her and slipped the other into Natalie’s underwear and stroked her softly. Natalie’s hips bucked at the intimate contact and she bit her lip in an attempt not to cry out. But what was the point really? She’d lost any semblance of control. The back-and-forth motion of Ana’s hand between her legs had her climbing, climbing, climbing.
“Let go for me,” Ana whispered, tracing her thumb over Natalie’s most sensitive spot. But she didn’t dwell there, which was a shame, because Natalie needed her to. Ana, she was finding, liked to tease.
“Ana,” she said. It was a request, and one that Ana apparently wasn’t ready to honor. Instead, she slid inside Natalie, who moaned and gripped Ana’s shoulders for support. She didn’t know how she was going to survive the wonderfully torturous intensity she felt building each time Ana withdrew and then entered her again. The built-up pressure was too much. She moved against Ana’s hand, searching urgently for relief, hearing herself cry out along the way. Finally, Ana had mercy and pressed her thumb firmly where Natalie needed it most, sending her into an oblivion of sharp, hot pleasure. She rode out the intense waves that hit her again and again and again in glorious payout. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d come so hard.
In recovery mode, Natalie blinked in an attempt to regain focused vision and the use of her brain. The world floated back to her slowly. Details clicked into place. She was plastered against Ana, who still wore the damn gown that sta
rted it all. Ana still had hold of her and was still touching her intimately, easing her back down with the slow and soft touches of her fingers.
“Hey. You with me?” Ana asked quietly, and kissed the top of her breast. Natalie nodded, not quite trusting her voice. She sat back in Ana’s lap and found her gaze. Ana tucked a strand of hair behind Natalie’s ear. “Good, because you? Just now? That was something to behold.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know what you did to me.” She closed her eyes and bucked her hips as Ana’s fingers hit an overly sensitive spot. “Are doing to me,” she corrected. “But it was…memorable.” She leaned down and kissed Ana, slowly at first, but then the fire took hold again and she couldn’t stop herself or the passion that rained down on that kiss. She’d let Ana be the aggressor for a while, had handed her the reins, but Natalie was done with that now. And she was also done with that annoying peach gown.
She stood and offered Ana her hand.
“Where are we going?” Ana asked, looking up, her blue eyes now darkened with desire.
“To your bed. And we’re going now.”
Wordlessly, Ana accepted Natalie’s hand.
Natalie didn’t bother to turn the light on. The moon was bright and streamed through the window, offering a soft blue layer, all the visibility that Natalie needed. She unzipped the dress immediately, because it had to go. Natalie gasped at the realization that Ana wasn’t wearing a bra. Ana smiled nervously at her, but that smile dimmed when Natalie moved to her and ran a hand across her breast. The sound of Ana taking in air at the touch only served to increase Natalie’s need for her.
She wanted Ana.
Craved her.
And felt that craving, tight and hard and coiled, all over.
She kissed one breast and then the other before dropping to her knees in front of Ana. She pulled her underwear down her legs and gazed at what was exposed to her now. She leaned in and kissed Ana intimately, unabashedly, reveling in the taste of her. Ana, she noticed, placed a hand behind her against the wall for support as she murmured sounds of pleasure. With a swift hand around Ana’s waist, she guided her to the bed, laid her head down on the pillow, and slid on top.
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