That bubbly soda sensation hit Brandon again, so rather than say anything, he kissed Travis.
He could feel Travis’s sigh of relief. Brandon knew Travis didn’t want to talk about his emotions, just as surely as he knew that Travis felt them, so he knew that Travis had been touched by the gesture and surprised that Brandon had acted as he did today. Brandon was here because Travis wanted him here. And that was enough.
They lay down beside each other on the bed, and Travis peeled Brandon’s clothes off, so Brandon returned the favor. When they were both naked, Brandon traced his finger over the tattoo on Travis’s chest. “Tell me about this.”
The design was a slightly abstract tiger on Travis’s left pec. Brandon studied it for a moment and then looked at Travis’s face. Travis had closed his eyes.
This was related to something important to Travis. Brandon hadn’t meant to poke that. He’d been imagining Travis had played a sport for a team called the Tigers, or something like that. But there was clearly a story here. “If you don’t want to—”
“No, it’s okay.” Travis placed his hand over Brandon’s. “I guess you found another one of my secrets. I had a friend growing up. Greg. We were like brothers, completely inseparable. He always accepted me and whatever decisions I made, and I did the same for him. I’ve never known anyone who was so at ease with himself and not afraid of anything. He became a firefighter after we graduated. And, ah, when were about twenty-five, there was a fire, just a few blocks from my parents’ house in Forest Hills. Greg saved a little girl who had been hiding in a closet. He got her out before a beam collapsed on him.”
“Oh God.”
“Maybe a week after the funeral, I was in a Chinese restaurant and, like, staring at the placemat with the Chinese zodiac on it. And it said that tigers are self-confident, competitive, and brave, which described Greg perfectly. So this tiger is for Greg, and it’s near my heart.” Travis closed his eyes. “I hate telling that story.”
“I understand,” said Brandon. Travis clearly felt things deeply but didn’t like to talk about them. And he had depths Brandon hadn’t realized. “I assume the hammers on your arm are for your profession.”
“Yeah.” Travis rubbed his eye. “God, I haven’t talked about Greg in a while. More than ten years have gone by. I can go for weeks without thinking about him, but every now and then he just pops in there and surprises me. The whole point of the tattoo was so that I could keep his memory with me, but I… well.” He took a deep breath. “The lesson I took from his death is that houses have to be safe. That house, the one Greg died in? There’d been a gas leak. The investigators managed to put together that something electronic had sparked and the gas that had been leaking into the kitchen caught fire. I try to think about that when I’m doing repairs on a house. It has to be safe above everything. The design stuff is nice, but if what’s in the walls is dangerous, it’s not worth anything.”
Brandon nodded. “I appreciate that.”
“Ugh, listen to me go on. I’m sorry.”
“No. Never apologize for your feelings. It’s like I understand something new about you now.”
Travis sighed. “I loved him. Our relationship was purely platonic, but I was in love with him. I never told him.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I mean, it’s the past. I think he knew. We never talked about it. He was… flexible, sleeping with pretty much anyone who offered. I think he saw me as a brother, though, not a romantic possibility, and I was mostly okay with that. But it still hits me sometimes that we never got a chance. But then, maybe it doesn’t matter. I don’t think Greg was the one I was supposed to be with.”
Brandon didn’t want to press his luck by asking if Travis thought it might be him, so he let it go.
Travis groaned. “I hate this shit.”
Brandon ran a hand over Travis’s chest, up his neck, and into his hair. He hoped the gesture was comforting. “Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re going to pry all my secrets out of me, aren’t you?”
Brandon laughed softly, because Travis looked so put out. “I mean… probably.”
Travis sighed and pressed his face into Brandon’s chest. “You will be the death of me.”
“I suspect you will enjoy every minute of it.”
“Hmph.”
Travis kissed Brandon then, whether it was to end the conversation or out of a moment of genuine feeling, Brandon didn’t know and didn’t care, because they quickly sank into the kiss together. Warmth spread across his chest, and those words bubbled in his throat. He knew he was in love with this man. He’d never felt anything like this, but the feeling was forceful, unequivocal, hovering in the back of his mind. He loved Travis. And he’d do whatever he could to make Travis happy.
As things ramped up and Travis grew hard against Brandon’s leg, Brandon considered reaching for the nightstand drawer, but he couldn’t tear himself away from Travis. Being pressed against him was too good. Brandon kissed Travis, ran his hands over Travis’s body, shifted his hips against Travis’s. Travis moaned softly, reached between them, and wrapped his hand around both of their cocks. And this was good, intimate in an unexpected way, their bodies sliding against each other and connected in nearly every way possible.
Brandon loved Travis.
But Brandon didn’t want to say I love you in the middle of sex, in case Travis thought it was some heat-of-the-moment thing and not Brandon’s most heartfelt emotion, so he kissed Travis instead. And they kept kissing until the sensation became too much. Instinct or animal brain took over and Brandon forgot all about the abstract feelings and could only feel what was happening between them.
“So good,” Travis murmured, a strong indication that he was about to lose it just as surely as Brandon was.
They came within seconds of each other, the vibrations of Travis’s body triggering Brandon’s orgasm, and it was messy but so, so amazing.
Brandon held Travis close as they came down together, and they stayed wrapped up in each other until it got itchy and uncomfortable, at which point Travis wordlessly got out of bed.
Brandon followed him to the bathroom, where they cleaned up, and Brandon couldn’t look away from the tender expression on Travis’s face.
“I care about you a lot, Travis. I want you to know that.”
“I know. I obviously care about you too, or I wouldn’t be this stupid and emotional. I blame you for making me feeling this way. It’s awful.”
Brandon laughed. “It’s amazing. You’re amazing.”
Travis let Brandon kiss him but then pushed him away. “Knock it off. Let’s just… go to bed. I can’t take any more mushy feelings today.”
“WHAT ABOUT this?” Travis said.
“Mmm?” Brandon rolled onto his side and looked at Travis sleepily. Travis was half sitting up, leaning against the pillows, totally unable to sleep. Brandon had been dozing for a few minutes, so Travis had been thinking about how he wanted to handle the show. He didn’t want to quit. He liked the work, and he definitely liked the show’s host. But his comfort with being on TV was limited. More than that, he was in this thing with Brandon for the long haul, and he suspected Brandon felt the same. They might as well make it official.
“I don’t want to cohost. I don’t want to talk directly to the cameras except maybe every once in a while. But I can take on a larger role on the show. We’ve already been outed, so let’s be a couple, on and off the show. Acknowledge that we’re a couple on the show and that we’re working on the houses together, but it’s still your show, primarily.”
Brandon smiled and ran a hand down the side of Travis’s face. “I can definitely do that. Maybe I can allude to our couple status in the opening credits voiceover. That way it’s clear what role you play in my life.”
Travis nodded. He slid down into the pillows until he was closer to horizontal. He’d half expected Brandon to protest, but the fact that Brandon was willing to do what Travis wanted said a lot.
“I guess so.”
Brandon took Travis’s hand. “I wanted to wait to tell you this until I thought you were ready, but what the hell?”
Well, that didn’t sound good. “What is it?”
“Don’t look so terrified. This is a good thing. I just want to say that I love you, Travis. I have fallen so far in love with you in the last six weeks, and it feels overwhelming and perfectly natural all at the same time.”
Travis squeezed his hand. God, was this love? Was that what had made Brandon get Virginia fired and put up teal tiles in the kitchen? Everything that had happened today had shown Travis that Brandon loved him, and it was some balm for the burn of finding out that his private life was public now.
Because Travis loved Brandon too. It was why he couldn’t walk away.
He kissed Brandon’s knuckles. “Falling in love with you is definitely the strangest thing that has ever happened to me.”
Brandon grinned. “You love me?”
“Of course I do, you idiot. I definitely wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t. Walking away, going underground, getting some other job, all of those things would be easier than doing this goddamned show, and yet I still want to do it because I know it would make you happy. And that is completely ridiculous to me. When did I become that guy?”
“You love me.”
“Shut up.”
Brandon pulled Travis into his arms and kissed the side of his face. “I love you. I won’t give you some song and dance about how perfect we are for each other, because I don’t even think we are, but I do know that being with you has made everything that has happened since we started filming the show a million times better. Loving you makes my life better.”
Travis hugged Brandon back and took a deep breath. “Yeah. All that.”
“I mean, because we probably aren’t perfect. You’re really gruff and bossy.”
“Your taste is bland and you’re wishy-washy about making decisions.”
Brandon laughed. “And yet….”
“Those tiles. I’m still not over it.”
“I can’t wait to show you the Jessica Benton house. You’ll have all kinds of crazy ideas for it. And I won’t have to bring in Kayla this time, because you’ll know exactly what should go there.”
“I’m no designer.”
“No, but you have good instincts, and you’re smart, and I love you to distraction.”
Travis sighed. “I love you too, okay?”
“And, look, Ismael told me today the crew is fine with us as a couple, and even Erik thinks we’re cute together, although he also apologized about seven hundred times. Apparently he thought he was just gossiping with Virginia when he told her about us. Like, ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny if the two most prominent people on the show were hooking up with each other? He didn’t mean for it to become a thing.” Brandon ran his hand through Travis’s hair. “I know he’s not your favorite person right now, but I don’t think he deserves to be fired.”
Travis sighed. Most of his anger had dissipated, although that made it spike a little. “If you trust him, it’s all right.”
“I do. And I don’t want to change too much of the staff midstream unless we have to. Virginia did something terrible. I think Erik was mostly innocent. Virginia told me she’d keep quiet about things until we made a decision, but then she didn’t.”
“Okay. I promise not to punch him tomorrow.”
“Good.” Brandon pulled away and looked Travis in the eyes. “So we’re good now?”
Travis couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Brandon was so earnest sometimes. “Yeah. We’re good. We’ll figure out how to make the show work. Okay?”
“Okay. Good. I love you.”
Even though Travis liked hearing the words, he said, “Okay, jeez, don’t wear it out.”
Brandon laughed and kissed Travis.
Chapter Twenty-Three
TRAVIS WAS so tired he could feel it in his bones.
He’d spent the day demolishing the interior of Jessica Benton’s house, but also letting her get her hands dirty. He wasn’t surprised that she’d shown up for filming with her hair and makeup done. She seemed game to do some of the work herself, although she objected off-camera when he made her put her hair up and wear safety glasses. She did it, though, and whacked a few walls and cabinets with a sledgehammer.
Demo could be fun, but it was hard, physical work too, and Travis’s body ached a little as Jessica bid him farewell for the day.
Brandon had been there in the morning so Erik could get some footage of him ripping out the old, outdated kitchen cabinets, but he’d since gone back to the Argyle Road house to do… something. Travis didn’t know what; there wasn’t much left to do there. They had some minor things to finish, but most of the work crew had already moved over to the Benton house. Travis had promised Brandon he’d walk over to Argyle Road when he finished up here to do some of those last minor things, but he regretted making that promise now. He was beat.
Still, he locked up the house for the day and walked the three blocks to the other house.
It had been a weird few days. Travis bounced between houses—something he suspected he’d have to get used to because Brandon already had an eye on a new project in the neighborhood—and they’d picked a new producer the day before, a woman who had worked on a show about flipping houses in Westchester County, just outside the city. She seemed to know her stuff and had no interest in exploiting Brandon and Travis’s recent coupledom.
Things would work out. Travis believed that. But all he wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep for two days. Ideally with Brandon beside him, but he was so tired, even that was optional.
Travis let himself into the house. He didn’t think anyone would be here. Erik, Ismael, and their respective staffs had all been at the Benton house most of the day and had gone home. Travis walked back to the kitchen, where he’d left the remaining pieces of hardware that had to be installed on the kitchen cabinets.
Then Brandon appeared.
And that did make Travis feel a little better.
“Hey,” Brandon said. He walked over and gave Travis a quick peck on the lips.
“Hi. We’re all wrapped up for the day at the other house.”
“Good.”
“Just you here?”
“Yeah. I’ve been waiting for you, actually. I installed all the hardware in the upstairs bathrooms.”
“Okay. One less thing for me to do.”
Travis picked up a drawer pull and took a screwdriver from his tool belt and started to screw it on one of the drawers.
“I want to talk to you about something,” said Brandon.
Travis didn’t look up from what he was doing. His suspicion was that this was going to be a heavy conversation. He didn’t really have the energy for that, but he said, “Okay.”
“So, I had a crazy idea.”
Travis looked up at that. He fiddled with the drawer pull. It was secure. He grabbed another. “What is it?”
“You and I have put so much of ourselves into this house. I fell in love with it the first time I did a walk-through. In making my final decisions, I took your advice and I thought a lot about what I would like to see in the house, more than what buyers would like to see. I never think like that. I chose this tile….” Brandon touched the backsplash. “Not because I thought it added value to the house, but because I thought you would love it. And I’ve been slowly realizing that I kind of don’t want to sell the house at all.”
Travis finished securing the handle to the drawer and looked up. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that even though it’s a stupid thing to do financially, I’m thinking very seriously about buying out Restoration’s share of the house and moving into it myself.”
Travis didn’t know what to do with his hands. He put the screwdriver on the counter. “Are you kidding
?”
“We’ve talked about houses. I know you understand the need for a space like this as much as anyone. I’ve never had a real home, but I want one more than I can even say. I rented my place in Brooklyn Heights because I didn’t want to commit to anything until I figured out what I was doing next. Well, I’m doing this now. And I’m committed to you. Why not put down some roots? And I love this house. The kitchen, the bathrooms, the living spaces, the master suite upstairs, the design Kayla and I put together? All of it is perfect.”
Travis’s stomach flopped. He’d been feeling a little like he’d felt when he’d found out he’d lost the house the year before. He was overreacting, and he knew that, but it had started to almost feel like a betrayal for Brandon to sell this house. And now he was buying it? “I thought this place had become a money pit, that you’d have to sell it to recoup your investment.”
“I’m starting to think of it as more of a long-term investment.”
Travis stared at the counter. The weird thing was that he had started imagining what it would be like to live in this house too, something he never did on the job. A house was a project he usually felt emotionally disconnected from, a series of tasks to complete more than something he was making for himself. But here, he’d imagined cooking meals in this kitchen, lounging in the living room, reading a book in the family room, getting ready in the morning in the master bathroom.
And here was Brandon, taking that from him.
Not that he could afford to buy the house, even though the thought had passed through his brain a few times.
Travis rubbed his face, hoping his emotions didn’t show, and said, “Why do you need to talk to me about it? It’s your house, literally. Your money.”
“Because I want you to live here with me.”
Travis met his gaze, utterly shocked. “What?”
“This is our house, Travis. My owning it doesn’t make sense without you in it.”
“You want us to move in together? And live here?”
Domestic Do-over Page 22