Robyn retired to bed that night with a heavy heart. She had had a taste of forbidden fruit and it had tasted so good that she didn’t want to give it up. But she was already afraid that she was fooling herself by thinking that Gabe would give up Leslie for her.
Chapter 7
Robyn didn’t really expect Gabe to have divorce papers drawn up the night after they were together, especially considering the fact that it was Sunday. But he didn’t call her and she worried that he regretted their night together. She felt like she was on pins and needles until he did call her on Monday.
Her heart beat fast as she picked up her phone. “Hi.”
“Hello darling. How are you?”
“I’m okay. Gabe you don’t regret what we did do you?”
“Of course not sweetheart. I could never regret such a perfect union. Is there anything that you want, anything that you need?”
She laughed. “I want you.”
Gabe sighed. “I know darling, and I want you very badly too. I have some things to take care of today and tomorrow. I can meet you Wednesday at your apartment after work if that works for you. I can’t spend the whole night with you, but I greatly look forward to the nights when I can.”
“Should I get another key made? I’d give you Fuller’s but he didn’t leave it.”
“You should change your locks as soon as possible Robyn. Most doorknobs are simple to replace with the right tools, but if you need help I’ll do it for you. Locks on your windows would be good too. I don’t like to think that there’s a danger of Fuller harming you, but he already struck you once, and you have to protect not only yourself but the child you carry. I will feel ever so much better when we can live together as man and wife. No one will get a chance to harm you when you are truly mine.”
“I’d have to ask the manager about changing the locks. I haven’t taken Fuller off of the lease yet. I know that I should, but I guess there was a part of me that thought he might come back. I don’t want him to anymore, especially with what went on between the two of us, but sometimes it’s hard to let go of someone completely.”
“He is the father of your child, but I sincerely doubt that with the way he’s acted since he learned of your pregnancy that it will break his heart when we marry and I adopt your child.”
Robyn’s heart felt like it leapt to her throat again. It gave her a sense of hope and joy when she thought about marrying Gabe. She was still concerned with the morality of having an affair with a married man, even one in a bad marriage, but the thought that she would have a husband that loved and cherished her and that her baby would have a good father made tears of joy spring to her eyes.
“Oh Gabe. You make me so happy when you say things like that. Well, it doesn’t make me happy to think that the natural father of my child is such a jerk, but it makes me happy to think that you’ll love the baby like your own and that we’ll raise him or her together. I’ll go talk to the manager about changing the locks and look into putting extra locks on the windows.”
“Good. I always want to make you happy Robyn. It has made me so hopeful to think of being with you and having a family with you. People look at me and see a rich man with a beautiful wife and spread rumors that I hire beautiful young women so that I can have them in my bed as well. They don’t see the pain underneath. The pain of a husband that is not loved by his wife and never will be. The pain of a man that has empty sex with his wife when she is not being pleased by someone else. People envy me, people judge me, and they know nothing about me.”
“I’m sorry Gabe.”
“You will change my life Robyn, the lives of my children. I will fight Leslie for visitation and when our children are with you and I they will know unselfish love. It is sad to think that you will love them better than their own mother does, but I know you will. Any damage that Leslie has done to the minds of my children will be healed by our love.”
“I want to be a good stepmother. I just hope that I don’t let you down.”
Gabe chuckled. “Darling, you will never let me down or my children down in the ways that Leslie has over and over again. You are not a selfish woman who detests her own life so much that she has to make everyone around her miserable.”
“I feel selfish wanting to take you away from your wife and your family. I always looked at people that had affairs while they were married and it made me sick. I know that marriage is hard. I know that sometimes you no longer love someone the way that you did when you married them, but it always seemed to me that it was really selfish to have an affair. If your marriage is over, end it before you start a new relationship.”
“You have strong morals. I admire that. I understand the way you feel and I won’t keep you waiting. My marriage was over before it really began. I was fooling myself when I thought that if I loved Leslie well enough, she would eventually love me even a fraction of as much as I loved her. She married me to piss her parents off. My wife is a hypocrite. She grew up rich and enjoys nice things, but deep down she detests all of it. She hated being raised by nannies and yet she does the same thing to our children. She watched her father cheat on her mother for years. She called him terrible names at several of their gatherings before she left home. Yet, she has never been faithful to one man or even to one woman. Sometimes, I think that the qualities we dislike the most in others are those that we despise because they exist in ourselves.”
“Yes, I suppose that is very true in a lot of cases. Sometimes I think that your marriage mirrors the marriage of your parents. But I guess that can’t be true because people have very different backgrounds. One spouse could have parents that had a happy marriage since they were young, and the other might not know who their father is or have parents that divorced and have each been married four of five times. I don’t really think that I’d want a marriage like my parents though. They’re still married of course, but they don’t seem to really be happy together. They fight so much-they always have.”
“Happiness is not always about appearances. Sometimes a bright smile can fool the world into thinking that you’re happy when inside you are full of darkness and misery. And sometimes your actions may lead others to believe that you’re full of negativity when you’re really not, the rest of the world just might not agree with your actions. I would love to talk to you all day my darling, but I must let you go. Please make sure that you change your locks and fix your windows or at least take the steps to get the process started. If your manager has any issues, let me know and I’ll give him a call. I don’t like to bribe people into getting what I want, but if it’s necessary for your safety and the safety of the child that you carry, I will do it.”
“Thank you. I don’t think it should be a problem. This isn’t the worst apartment building in town, but it’s not the best either.”
“We could look for another place if you’d like, though once my divorce is underway we’ll look for a house together of course.”
“This place is fine until then. I like my neighbors and the manager is pretty understanding.”
“If you wish. Goodbye my beautiful Robyn. I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday. Would you like me to bring you dinner at work? There’s a wonderful Italian restaurant that I enjoy.”
“Sounds great. Any kind of pasta is fine with me.”
“Good. Take care my darling.”
“I will. Bye Gabe.”
Robyn hung up her phone. She was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to see Gabe until Wednesday. But she knew that when you were in a relationship with a married man, you had to realize that his time was not all for you. The time of any man was not all for the woman that he loved of course she thought but especially not that of a married man with children.
She dressed and then went to the office. The manager had no problem with allowing her to change the locks, he just requested a copy of the key in case of emergency or if any maintenance needed to be done while she was not at home. She agreed and also made a request to take Fuller off of the lea
se. Fuller had already stopped by and made the request himself. Robyn felt that their relationship had truly ended. It didn’t leave her with any of the sad feelings that she’d once had when she’d thought of it. She was sure that even if Fuller didn’t want to be a part of their child’s life that Gabe would be a wonderful father for her child.
She drove to a discount store and picked up a new doorknob. She picked up safety locks for her windows too and the tools to make sure that she could easily install the new doorknob. Fuller hadn’t picked up any of his things so she still had his tools, but she didn’t know what exactly he had and she wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t have to make another trip to the store right away.
Once she was home, it was relatively simple to remove her old doorknob and install the new one. There were only two keys included with the knob, so she dropped one off with the manager of the building and then went back out to make a copy for Gabe. It was thrilling to think of Gabe having a key to her apartment. But with the excitement that filled her thinking of him waiting for her after work, she also felt guilt. She was taking him away from his children. The thought did not sit well in her head.
She wasn’t sure how long she could live with the guilt of taking him away from his children. She hoped that he could get everything worked out and that his divorce would be a short process. She couldn’t wait to be Gabe’s wife. It seemed strange since they’d only had one night together and hadn’t said ‘I love you’, but Robyn felt that it was right that she be Mrs. Gabe Atkins and that he be the father to her child and she be the stepmother of his children.
She felt good when she went to bed on Monday night. She put all doubts out of her head and let herself feel the happiness that being with Gabe brought her.
Her good mood faded a bit when he didn’t call her Tuesday, but he’d said he’d be busy. She’d sent him a text message to let him know that she’d been able to get her locks changed. He’d replied but hadn’t tried to engage her in further conversation.
Tuesday seemed to pass at such a slow rate that Robyn felt a little like she was going crazy by the time it ended. She didn’t like playing the waiting game. She felt like she’d been playing the waiting game with Fuller for half of their relationship, since the first time he had mentioned marriage, and now she was awaiting the divorce of a married man.
Wednesday she went to a free parenting class and then a free child birth class. It was scary to think that she wouldn’t have anyone with her when she delivered the baby, but she still had hope that Gabe would be divorced or at least in the process of a divorce by the time she was due and she hoped that he would be able to be by her side.
When she got to work, Eric was flirting with two women who were drinking it up. Robyn rolled her eyes and wondered if a threesome would be taking place in the bathroom or if Eric would wait until after their shift ended. She figured Eric to be about Gabe’s age, but thought that they were years apart in maturity.
Eric made plans to meet both women after work, so Robyn was spared from seeing him return from his break with messy hair and wrinkled clothes like he had the last time she was sure he’d had sex in the bathroom. She’d heard that there was a list on the wall of the men’s bathroom that named at least some of the people that had had sex in there, but she didn’t care to see it.
Gabe brought them both dinner around seven. The food was great and she managed to slip him her spare key when Eric wasn’t looking. He winked at her when he left. The rest of her shift passed in a blur of anticipation. The tips were good and cleanup went quickly since Eric was looking forward to getting out of there as much as she was.
When she got home, Gabe’s truck wasn’t in the lot and she felt a bit of panic enter her. But then she figured that he had thought that it was best to park his truck elsewhere, though he had left it in the lot the first time they’d been together.
Her hand shook a little when she inserted the key into the lock. Gabe was sitting on her couch. She shut the door behind her and almost fell into his arms. He kissed her for several heated minutes and then pulled back.
He sighed, but it was a sigh of contentment. “The feeling of having a woman that is happy to see me is almost indescribable. Oh Robyn, I only hope that it can always be like this between us. If I make you unhappy you’ll tell me won’t you?”
“Of course. My days without you have been so long. But I guess you probably need to get home to your children soon. Didn’t your wife wonder where you were going so late?”
“I often leave to check on the bar late at night. My children are safely tucked into bed, and they have the nanny if they need someone for the time being. My wife was intoxicated and locked in our bedroom with a man and a woman when I left, so she hardly cared where I was going or how long I would be gone.”
“I’m so sorry. You deserve a woman that loves and cherishes you, one that treasures your children and treats them the way they deserve to be treated.”
“You are that woman Robyn. I have been waiting for you my whole life.”
Gabe took her hand and led her to the bedroom. They undressed and made love. The first time was hurried and told the tale of the yearning they’d felt for one another while they were apart. The second time was leisurely and was about the pleasure that their bodies created while joined together. Robyn wished that their second coupling could last forever. The world stood still for those moments that their bodies were joined and she was able to put all of her doubts and fears aside.
When Gabe moved to dress, she felt reality kick in again. He turned back to her and kissed her. “I will miss you my darling. I wish that my divorce were a simple one, but with my wife it won’t be. I will get started on it as quickly as possible though, to ensure that we can be married or at least living together when your baby is born.”
Robyn squeezed his hand and smiled, when what she really felt like doing was holding onto his legs when he walked out the door like a child that doesn’t want a parent to leave them. “I’ll miss you too. When can we get together again?”
He sighed. “I don’t know love. I’m having a problem with my restaurant and may be out of town for at least a few days. I’d love to take you with me, but it came up quickly and the temporary agency in this ridiculous town hardly ever has workers on hand period, let alone qualified ones. It is certainly possible to run the bar with one bartender, but on Friday and Saturday nights you know how busy it gets. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I gave you those days. You’re pregnant and don’t need to be put under undue stress. Would you like to manage my restaurant? It’s an hour and a half away. I own two houses up there. You could live in whichever you chose until we’re able to be man and wife. The pay is generous and I could train you myself.”
“I’ll think about it. Thank you.”
“I want you to be happy with me Robyn. If there is anything you want or need, don’t be afraid to ask.”
Robyn sighed. “I can’t have what I really want until you’re divorced.”
“Patience my darling. It will be worth it in the end. Believe me, I know how you feel. The days that I am without you, when I know that you are the woman for me, are endless. But I have to make sure that my children will be taken care of and that my wife will not try to ruin me in the divorce. Leslie is such a miserable woman that if she knew I was happy, she’d do anything to take that away from me, even at the cost of the wellbeing of our children.”
“That’s so sad. I can understand being mad at your spouse or upset that your marriage didn’t end the way you’d planned, but why hurt your children? You are hurting your children when you alienate them from a fit parent, or even say bad things about the other parent in front of them.”
“I know honey. You are as wise, kind and loving as you are beautiful. You know, after marrying Leslie I’ve been a little afraid of beautiful women. Sometimes beautiful woman grow so used to taking advantage of others that they become cold hearted. I have seen it over and over in the women that have worked for me, and it bothers me.
Or they become wounded by their beauty. That saddens me even more because my sister was one of them. She was so young when she passed, but she had already lived both of those lives. She had become cold hearted. We grew up dirt poor and she knew that she could use her beauty to take advantage of others and acquire things that our mother couldn’t give us. Then she opened herself up to a man that she thought loved her for whom she was and not her pretty face. She ended up mired in a world of drug addiction. He sold her body for drugs. I wanted to kill him when she died. I wanted to kill my stepfather when I found out he had taken my sister’s virginity through rape, but I only beat the shit out of him. I think that my mother hated me for it. She didn’t call for me on her deathbed. He was the only one that she wanted beside her, the child molester that had stolen her daughter’s innocence. My sister’s boyfriend is in prison for the rest of his life. I helped put him there. My sister wasn’t the only girl whose body he was selling to feed his addiction. Instead of beating him to a bloody pulp after he had the nerve to show his face at her funeral or taking his life, I paid a private investigator to watch him and found out that he was running a prostitution ring of underage runaways out of the motel room he’d lived in with my sister. He paid them in drugs and they were all quickly becoming as addicted as my sister had been.”
“That is so sad. It must have taken a lot of courage for you to do something like that.”
Gabe shrugged. “It was the right thing to do. I have always liked to think of myself as an honorable man. I help others when I can and I give people second chances when they come to work for me. Sometimes I give them way too many chances. I certainly haven’t parted on the best terms with all of my ex-employees, but my heart was in the right place.”
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