When they were both dressed, she lit another cigarette. She knew was coming down from everything. The fear and panic from what had happened with Brad. The passion of being with Gabe. She felt exhausted. When Gabe was gone, she thought that she was going to bury her head under her covers and take a nap.
He ended up ordering calzones. She ate even though she didn’t feel hungry and wasn’t able to get rid of him until she convinced him that she was going to take a shower and go to bed. She breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone, locking the door behind him. She took a long shower, and then crawled into bed. She awoke several hours later to a knock on her door.
“What?”
“Can I come in?”
She wasn’t in the mood to talk to Nick. “No.”
“Ami please. I need to talk to you.”
She sighed, reaching over to turn on the lamp. “Fine.”
He opened the door, and sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. “I am so sorry that I wasn’t here Ami.”
“Not your fault. You were at work.” She didn’t want to discuss her almost rape with Nick.
“I can’t imagine what would have happened if Gabe hadn’t shown up. Who knew that his stalking you would be a good thing for once?”
She knew that he was trying to lighten the mood, to get her to smile, but she wasn’t really in the mood. She was strangely upset with him for not being the one that had saved her.
“Yeah. Nothing really happened. I’m fine. Go to bed.”
“Brad came into the alley whining because Gabe kicked the shit out of him. I didn’t tell him that I wanted to finish him off.”
“Uh huh. Goodnight Nick.”
“Are you sure you’re okay Ami? You don’t look okay.”
“Yes. He kissed me. He ripped my shirt. Then Gabe came in and kicked his ass. End of story. I promise you that I’m fine.”
“You can talk to me Ami.”
“What are you now, an almost rape counselor? Get out of my room Nick.”
He got up, and without another word, walked out of her room, shutting the door behind him.
She felt bad once he was gone. She wanted to get up and apologize, and would have if she hadn’t heard the front door open and close. He was running away from her she thought. Again. She knew he was going to end up at Carlie’s. She wondered why she was the one living with Nick and not Carlie.
How long would it take before he gave up on his need to protect her she wondered? She wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t take long. She also had a feeling that it wouldn’t take long before he gave up and brought Carlie over.
Chapter 25
She was right. It was a little over a week later when he brought Carlie over. She’d seen his car in the lot when she got home, and heard hushed voices coming from his room. She went straight to bed but only slept for a little over an hour before she was up again.
It was one o’clock in the morning, but she was very thirsty. She knew Nick’s girlfriend was in his room, and she didn’t want to deal with them. She hoped they were asleep.
She had opened the refrigerator when she heard the slight creak of Nick’s bed. She froze.
Why in the hell hadn’t she brought her mp3 player out here with her she thought? Then she wouldn’t be hearing the telltale signs of sex. But it only got worse as she dug around in the fridge for a bottle of water. She heard Carlie call out Nick’s name. She couldn’t listen to this she thought. Bottle of water in hand, she shut the refrigerator. Her bedroom door was open and she had one foot inside when Nick cried out. But it wasn’t Carlie’s name he called out. It was hers. She had no idea how that made her feel.
She shut her bedroom door, grabbed her mp3 player. Once the headphones were safely in her ears, she turned it up as loud as she could. She still heard the front door open and slam shut.
She paused her music as Nick’s footsteps stopped outside her door, but then he walked on. Did he know that she’d heard she wondered? Then it dawned on her that he probably did because her dumb ass had left the kitchen light on, she was in such a hurry to get back to her room.
He didn’t say anything to her the next morning. He gave her a look that cemented to her that he knew she’d heard him cry out her name when he was having sex with Carlie, but he kept his mouth shut.
He worked the day shift, and disappeared right afterwards. She wondered if Carlie had broken up with him, but couldn’t bring herself to ask him. That night after work, she and Missy decided it would be a good idea to have a few drinks.
She was drunk by the time they decided to go home. The last shot that she’d had had put her over the edge. She almost stumbled as she made her way to her car. Her partner in crime waved as she got into her boyfriend’s car.
Ami lit a cigarette and looked at her car. Should she drive she wondered? She could barely stand up straight. Probably not a good idea. Then again, the apartment was only five blocks away.
Should she chance it? She glanced across the street, almost hoping to see Gabe’s car parked in the driveway.
But after what’d he done with Brad, he’d stayed true to his promise and stayed away again.
She could call him and he’d come get her of course. She could also call Nick, but she didn’t really want to face Nick after last night’s fiasco. She still couldn’t believe that the first time he’d brought Carlie into the apartment, she’d happened to walk into the kitchen and catch Nick crying out her name instead of his girlfriend’s. She got into her car and discovered it wouldn’t start.
Maybe someone was telling her that she didn’t need to be driving she thought.
She pushed the button to lock the car and started out towards home. When she opened the door, the apartment was quiet. She felt like shit and wanted to go to her room and pass out.
But before she could make it there, Nick’s door opened. “I need to talk to you.”
“No.” She could hear a slight slur in her words.
“Ami, we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t. I have a headache. I want to go to bed.” He stepped in front of her when she tried to move towards her bedroom door. “Fine. Fuck it. I’ll go to your bed then. It’s what you want anyway. You just don’t have the balls to say it to my face. You’ll only call out my name when you’re fucking your girlfriend.”
She could see that she’d pissed him off. “It might help if you didn’t prance around here in pajamas that leave nothing to the imagination.”
“Good excuse Nick. Now get the hell out of my way or I will go to your bed.”
He still didn’t move and she was suddenly pressed against the refrigerator. She raised her knee like she was going to knee him in the groin, and he trapped it between his legs, almost knocking her off her unsteady feet.
He put his arms around her to steady her and said “You’re drunk.”
And he was too close she thought. His arms were around her waist, her knee was still trapped between his legs, and her other leg was molded to his so that she could stay on her feet.
“I’m an adult. We put the money in the till to cover what we drank.”
He softened slightly. “Did you drive?”
“My damn car wouldn’t start. Now would you let go of me?”
“No. What’s wrong with your car?”
“Hell if I know. I’m not a mechanic.”
“You should have told me you’d been having problems. I would have looked at it.”
“I wasn’t having problems. Get out of my way.”
“No, we need to talk.”
“We do not. I’ll quit walking around in trashy lingerie and you’ll beg Carlie’s forgiveness. End of story. Now let me go to bed.”
He released her knee, but kept his arms around her waist. “No. Why are you drunk?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Are you still upset about Brad? He moved out babe. His wife decided to give him one last chance.”
“No, it wasn’t Brad. He didn’t really do anything besid
es get his face pounded in by Gabe. I slept with Gabe that day everything happened with Brad. And then last night, when I walked into the kitchen, I thought I was going to die, hearing you have sex with Carlie. And then lo and fucking behold, you call out my name. I can’t deal with this shit anymore Nick. Not with Gabe, not with you. I’m done. I’m moving out. I’m going to go somewhere and the only goal I’m going to have in the next year is to get my son back.”
“Ami please. Just listen to me for a minute.”
“So you can tell me again how you can’t be with me? No. I don’t want to hear it. Goodnight Nick.”
Before she could do or say anything else, he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom, laying her on the bed. She sat up and glared at him.
“Get out.”
He gave her an amused smile. “It’s my bedroom.”
She threw her legs over the edge of the bed, planning to get up, but her head starting spinning. She sat back and he said softly “Go to sleep.”
“No. Not here.”
“I won’t touch you. I swear.”
“Why did you bring me in here and not to my bed? If Carlie isn’t pissed off enough at you already, I have a feeling that this will push her over the edge.”
“Carlie broke up with me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” She wasn’t really she thought.
He gave her a crooked smile. “It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Now go to sleep.”
“Take me to my room.” But her eyes were already closed, and she was asleep within minutes.
Chapter 26
When she awoke the next morning, she realized she was still in Nick’s bed. Nick was lying next to her, his arms folded over his pillow, clothed only in boxers. He had managed to undress her at least partly, because she was in her t-shirt and panties. She smiled slightly as she realized he’d removed her bra.
He was so beautiful she thought. His back was lean and strong; his butt so tight, she wanted so badly to touch him. She reached over and gently ran her hand over his back, hoping not to wake him. He made a sound in his sleep, but his eyes didn’t open.
She decided to test him. She moved over and straddled him, kissing a trail from his neck down his back and back up again. He moaned slightly but his eyes still stayed closed. He was awake she thought. She knew it. As one last test, she slid her hand to the front of his boxers. He reached up and grabbed her hand, giving her a lazy grin.
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
She gave him a coy look. “Do you want me to?”
He was suddenly serious. “No.”
“Liar.”
“I don’t want empty sex with you Ami. No matter how good it might be.”
“It wasn’t empty last time. You’re the one that tries to make everything more than what it needs to be.”
She had a sudden urge to tell him that she loved him, that she’d known since the night he’d come home after Brad had almost raped her. It seemed funny that she could know she was in love with him after she’d just slept with Gabe, but it was true. But she couldn’t do it.
Her stubborn pride kept her mouth shut.
“I don’t need sex Ami. I need love. I need forever. And you’re not ready for that.”
“How the hell do you know? You never bothered to ask me. You were too busy going out with someone else and calling her my name when you were in bed with her.”
She reached across him to steal one of his cigarettes. He let her get the cigarette; he let her light it. Then he took it from her hand, took a drag and put it in the ashtray beside his bed.
Then he rolled her over so that she was beneath him. “I cannot describe how I felt that night when I heard what Brad had done to you. I wanted to kill him. He’s lucky I didn’t finish what Gabe started. I couldn’t believe it when he had the gall to come into the bowling alley and whine to me about what Gabe had done. And I had to bite my tongue. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was when I came home and you got upset with me. Don’t you think I want to be the one to protect you?”
“I’m sorry.” She hadn’t meant to snap at him that night. She’d been madder at herself than she had at him because she’d slept with Gabe again. She hadn’t wanted to let him comfort her, let alone have unprotected sex with him on the couch.
“It’s okay.”
He looked at her and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She leaned up and kissed him.
When he pulled away, he groaned. “Ami, we can’t do this.”
“Why not? I want it, you want it. We’re both single. There’s no one left to be pissed off at us for making love.” She could feel the tension in his body.
“Because if I do this, I won’t be able to stop.”
“So what?” She reached between them and caressed him through his boxers.
He pulled her hand away. “Stop it.”
“No. I want you every minute of every day. I have since the first time I saw you. Give it up Nick. You can’t tell me you don’t want me. I’d know you’re lying.”
“I do want you.”
“So take me. I’m right here. No one’s protesting around here besides you.”
“You want me to take you?” It was almost a growl.
“Yes.”
The look in his eyes was fierce. He reached around to the nightstand and pulled out a condom, ripping it open with his teeth. They were both stripped within a minute. He kissed her roughly, taking her into his arms and pulling her legs so that they were wrapped around his waist.
She held onto him as he entered her, but couldn’t stand to look at him. He looked angry with her. It felt like he took out every bit of the frustration he’d been feeling for months when he made love to her. When he cried out her name, it sounded to her as if he were being tortured.
She’d had her arms wrapped around his neck, her nails digging into his skin. She’d left marks. When she tried to run her fingers across them when he’d turned away to reach for a cigarette, he shoved her hand away.
“Go take a shower so we can look at your car.”
They’d just had incredible sex, and he was acting like he wanted nothing to do with her she thought.
What the hell had she done she wondered? She cried in the shower because she felt like she’d lost him forever. When she passed through the bedroom on her way to get dressed, he was dressed and in the living room, on the phone.
He didn’t look at her as she passed by. She got dressed and then smoked a cigarette to calm her nerves. She was almost afraid to face him. He still didn’t say anything as he opened the door, headed to his car.
When they pulled up in the parking lot of the bowling alley, she handed him her car keys.
He still looked pissed and she was afraid to say anything to him. She sat in the car while he tried to start her car. He popped the hood, and then slammed it shut a few minutes later. He was back soon after, still looking pissed.
“I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with it. You’ll have to call somebody to tow the son of a bitch. You might as well call Gabe and go get your fucking fancy SUV.”
“That’s not happening.”
He gave her a dirty look and started his car. When the mechanic called her two days later after he’d had a chance to look at her car, the news wasn’t good. He informed her that pretty much everything possible was wrong with her car, though she hadn’t had any problems with it, and she’d taken it in for a tune up the month before and nothing had been wrong with it. The mechanic’s opinion was that someone had tampered with it. Gabe came to mind.
Nick gave her a ride to and from work, but he barely said a word to her, and hadn’t come anywhere near inviting her back into his bed. The atmosphere was very tense in the apartment.
Chapter 27
It was Saturday, her day off and Nick’s. Her phone rang at six o’clock in the morning.
She rolled over and groaned when she saw it was her mother. She knew it couldn’t be good news at this time of morning.
“Hello.”<
br />
“Ami.”
She reached for a cigarette and lit it. Her mother sounded like she’d been crying. “Yes Mom?”
“Your grandfather passed away last night.”
She almost dropped the phone. No she thought. First her Dad and now her Grandpa?
“I’m sorry Mom.”
“Can you come? Grandma’s not taking it well. The kids and I are at the airport right now, waiting for the plane. Bruce is coming out later for the funeral. Lisa is dropping Charlie off. I want you to think about taking him home with you.”
She couldn’t speak for a minute.
“Are you there honey?”
“Yeah, Mom. I’m sorry. I can’t believe it.”
“I know baby, I know.”
“My car broke down, but I’ll find some way to get out there. I’ll call you when I’m on the way.”
“They’re calling us for the plane baby. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“Love you too Mom.”
She hung up her phone and lay back on the bed. What was she going to do she wondered? She sure as fuck didn’t want to ask Gabe for the SUV. It wouldn’t be her dream come true to pull up to her grandpa’s funeral in a car with license plates that said “only you” either. She didn’t want to explain that one to her mother.
Maybe she could borrow Nick’s car she thought. She still hadn’t decided whether she was going to get her car fixed or just buy a new one. The shop had started some of the lesser repairs, but she hadn’t given them the go ahead on the major ones yet. And what in the hell was she going to do about Charlie?
She put out her cigarette and got out of bed. Nick’s room was quiet. She knocked on the door. Silence. She knocked louder and he mumbled “What?”
“Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”
He said something under his breath, and then said out loud “Go ahead.”
He was sitting up in bed, lighting a cigarette, when she walked in. She sat on the edge of the bed and said, because she didn’t have time to beat around the bush “My Grandpa died.”
He blinked. “I’m sorry.”
“Can I borrow your car? I need to leave as soon as possible. And my mom has got it into her head that I need to bring Charlie back home with me.”
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