"No need to apologize darlin’. You wanna talk about it?"
"Not right now. Hey, weren't you supposed to take Cameron and Lucy to lunch?"
"Shit. I'm cooking because those two get real expensive real quick, especially Lucy. Thanks for reminding me. I need to get started. They're going to be here anytime."
She followed him out to the living room where he immediately deposited her on the couch though she'd offered to help him fix lunch.
He'd finished making lunch and Lucy and Cameron still hadn't shown up. He joined her on the couch. A brief kiss turned into a major make out session with her perched on his lap when the door burst open half an hour later.
She almost jumped back from Daylin, face on fire as Cameron grinned at her. "Nice to see you Jess."
"Don't you knock Cameron?" Daylin said.
Cameron grinned again. "We're family man. Who needs to knock? Besides, you were expecting us."
"Yeah, like an hour ago," Daylin said.
"I'm starving," Lucy suddenly cut in.
"Go, help yourselves," Daylin said.
Jess had been wondering how she was going to manage to refasten her bra, when Daylin suddenly reached behind her and fastened it for her. He kissed her again, and though it was brief Cameron said from the kitchen "Get a room.
"We have a perfectly good one that we plan on making good use of as soon as you leave Cam." Daylin grinned.
"Do we?" Jess said.
"Yeah," Daylin murmured suggestively into her ear. "I think we do."
She smacked him in the butt on the way to the kitchen. He laughed.
"I hope you like burritos.”
"Sure.”
Once her plate was finished she sat down at the table. Daylin was still standing at the microwave, warming up his burrito. Cameron said "So, he convinced you to stay for a while then, huh Jess?"
"Not exactly.”
"I think you should at least stay for the weekend," Daylin said. "It's not that easy to find a place over the weekend."
"Then I'll stay in a motel." She wouldn’t look at him as he sat down next to her.
"Jess," he started.
She didn't want to discuss this in front of Lucy and Cameron. She really didn't want to discuss it all she thought. "So when are you two getting married?" she asked Lucy.
"Um," Cameron said.
"He won't let me set a date." Lucy gave Cameron a dirty look as she helped herself to handful of tortilla chips from the bowl in the middle of the table.
"Baby, we gotta have money for a wedding, for a honeymoon, for a house."
"I told you I didn't need anything fancy," Lucy said.
Daylin snorted. "Right. Ya'll are going to be in debt until you're a hundred paying for your not fancy wedding."
"Shut up Daylin," Lucy said. "Nobody asked you."
"Cameron did when he asked me to loan him the money for that ring on your finger."
"Daylin," Cameron said.
"Oops," Daylin said. "Wasn't I supposed to tell her?"
Cameron gave him a dirty look and kicked him under the table. "Asshole."
"That's me man." Daylin gave Jess a look.
"If we win a lot of money tonight babe, will you let me set a date?" Lucy said.
"Sure." Cameron gave her a weak smile.
Daylin raised an eyebrow. "The odds on that one sound great."
"No negative energy Daylin. This is going to be the second luckiest day of my life. I can feel it. The first of course was when I finally convinced Lucy to go out with me."
Lucy leaned over and gave Cameron a kiss. "You're so sweet baby."
Daylin rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't think he was so sweet if you heard the things he used to say about you before you finally said yes to him."
"Daylin what the hell is your problem?" Cameron said.
Daylin sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I met a woman who should be a part of my life and all she wants to do is run away from me."
All eyes turned to Jess. She wanted to hide under the table.
Cameron cleared his throat. "Do you two want to come up to the casino with us?"
"I think we'll pass," Daylin said. "I wouldn't want to spoil your good vibes."
"I guess we'd better get going then." Cameron sounded uncomfortable.
"Good luck," Daylin said.
"Thanks." He held out his hand to Lucy and helped her up from the table.
"It was nice meeting you Jess. Hopefully we'll see you again sometime." Lucy said.
There was something in her eyes, something that passed between her and Daylin that was different from the secretive look that they'd shared the night before. It was like she meant what she said. Jess did not understand these people at all.
Daylin followed Cameron and Lucy to the door, coming back to the kitchen after they were gone. She was standing at the sink, rinsing off the plates.
"You don't need to do that," he said.
"I should do something. You let me stay here for nothing. You wouldn't let me help you with lunch."
"You gave me a lot more than nothing Jess.”
She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell him to stop trying to make her feel something she couldn't feel.
"Yeah. Do you think I could use your computer? My mom was supposed to send me some pictures and things."
"Sure.”
She followed him to the living room. He opened the laptop and turned it on, signing onto his internet connection. He pushed it over towards her. She started to type in the address of her e-mail provider. She had to laugh when the browser thought she wanted to go to a porn site.
"What? Oh. Sorry. My mom told me I was disgusting when she borrowed my computer when she was first diagnosed with cancer."
"Your mom has cancer?" she said as she signed into her e-mail account.
"Yeah. She's dying. My dad has taken it almost as bad as she has. I don't know what he's going to do without her. But do they listen to me when I try to help her? No, they call me a druggie when I haven't done the shit since college."
"What shit?"
She was scrolling through her e-mail, beginning to think her mother had forgotten to send the pictures or hadn't had time to send them. Then she noticed a message from 'momof3mssnJess' and realized that her mother had changed her e-mail address. She felt a little pang, and turned to Daylin, wondering how someone could possibly go through so much pain. He made her troubles sound almost petty.
"Marijuana. It could help her with the pain at least. I gave her about a hundred articles but neither of them will listen."
"That's sad.”
"Yeah." He looked away.
She lit a cigarette and opened the e-mail. The text just gave her grandparents address and phone number which she already knew since it hadn't changed since she was young, and her stepmother's physical and e-mail addresses and phone number. The rest was pictures. The address for Selana told her that her father hadn't gone back to the town he'd grown up in. There wasn't much point in staying here now, but she wasn't going to tell Daylin that. She figured that it would be easier for both of them if she slipped off into the night. She figured it wouldn’t take Daylin long to forget about her. She was beginning to wonder how long it would take her to forget about Daylin though.
The first picture was a scanned copy of her father's funeral announcement. She had to swallow over the lump that rose in her throat. It cemented that he was really gone.
There were pictures of her mother and the kids, family pictures with Ned, birthdays, school pictures. She smiled a little at the side by side pictures of her in the blue dress and Sienna in hers. Her sister. It still felt very strange to think of herself as a big sister.
"She looks a lot like you," Daylin said softly, squeezing her hand.
"Yeah.”
Further down were pictures of her father and his family. The first looked like it had been taken about ten years ago. The boy looked about six or seven and the girl about four or five. The woman was beautiful and did bear quite
a resemblance to Jess's mother, though Selana was a bit shorter. Her eyes were brown instead of blue, and she had a noticeably larger chest than Jess's mother. There were more school pictures. Jess saw that her half-brother looked a lot like their father. Chelsea looked a lot like she had when she was younger.
Daylin noticed the resemblance too. "It's almost uncanny. Of course I guess you can see why. Your mom and your stepmom look a lot alike too."
"Yeah.” When she was done with the pictures she signed out of her e-mail and sat back on the couch. "He's really gone. I mean, I knew he was gone because my mother had no reason to lie about it, but. . . I'll never see my father again Daylin. He had teenage kids, a wife that he married eighteen years ago. And my mom never told me anything. My mom has kids. It's all too much."
"Let me help you deal with all of this."
"You've got enough to deal with Daylin. You're still trying to deal with losing Amanda. Your mother is dying, and you’re trying to help Cameron help Lucy. I think that's more than enough."
"You're wrong love. There’s never too much to bear when you have someone to help you with the pain."
"Sure.”
"Look Jess. You found what you were looking for. You found your father, and I know that it wasn't what you wanted to hear. But there's no reason you can't stay with me. You have the information to contact your stepmom. I'm sure she'll tell you how bad he must have felt about leaving you. You can get a little peace babe, and then you can finally start to move on with your life. Yes, your stepdad was a stupid asshole who never should have married a woman that had a child. Yes, your parents both made mistakes. But you don't have to pay for it anymore. If you will let me in, just a little, I think that maybe you could want me too."
"Daylin.”
"Yes?"
"I do want you, and that's the whole problem. I just met you. I can't want you like this. I can't feel like this."
"What you're feeling is right Jess.”
"No. It's not."
He sighed. "There’s nothing that I can say to you that will convince you otherwise is there?"
She shook her head, feeling like she was going to cry again.
"Will you at least stay with me this weekend? I can take Monday off, help you find a place and get your stuff moved in."
"Everything I own is in the trunk of my car Daylin."
"You don't have furniture?"
"I've been moving around since I was eighteen, remember? I never stayed anywhere too long. I always got a furnished place, or got stuff that was cheap but still good and left it behind for the next person."
"You could teach Lucy a thing or two about the need for material possessions." She could see that he was trying to break the somber mood.
"Sure.” But she hoped to never see Lucy again.
"Stay with me please? It's two days. I promise you that if you tell me you never want to see me again after you leave, I'll leave you alone."
"With what's happened in the last less than twenty-four hours Daylin, I don't think it's a good idea."
"You're afraid that if you stay with me you won't want to go aren't you?"
"No.” She didn't know who she was trying to convince more, herself or him.
Rain had started to fall. It was beating softly on the roof.
"Jess. Look at me please."
She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to see what she knew was in his eyes. How could such a playboy who had lost the only woman that he'd ever loved, care so much in such a short time Jess wondered? How could she care? She couldn't. She wouldn't let herself.
He took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him.
"Daylin. Please stop. You're going to get hurt."
He shook his head. "It's not me you're worried about. Believe me Jess, I don't blame you. You're worried about you. You think that I'm going to walk away like every other man in your life has."
"My Dad was the only one that walked away. Ned made me walk away."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain. She was trying to figure out a way to get him to let her leave when he said "Jess?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever made love in the rain?"
"No. I had sex twice in my life before you Daylin."
"Oh. Do you think you'd want to?"
"Uh.”
"We don't have to. It was just an idea."
"Have you ever made love in the rain Daylin?"
"No."
"Do you have a fence in your backyard?"
"Yeah." His face was starting to brighten again. "And a couch."
"Why do you have a couch in your backyard? Never mind, I don't think I want to know." It would certainly be an experience she thought. "Let's do it before I chicken out.”
"I'll be right back.” His shirt was off before she knew it and he was headed to the bedroom.
"Daylin this probably sounds stupid. But do you think we could skip the condom?"
"If you want to. If you're sure."
"Yeah.” She knew she was being absolutely stupid because she hadn't been on birth control for years, but she wanted to feel him, every bit of him, as fully as possible.
He kissed her, reaching around to undo her bra. He had shed his jeans and his underwear before she had finished getting her shirt off. "Excited are we?"
"A little." He helped her out of the rest of her clothes.
The rain had started to fall harder. She was about to lose her nerve when he took her hand and pulled her towards the back door.
When they got outside he started to pull her towards a battered leather couch, but she wanted to stand there for a minute. He had a high fence and it felt incredible to feel the rain on her naked body. He grinned at her and then took her hand again, pressing her gently back onto the couch.
The whole thing was incredible. She couldn't think of words to describe it when they'd finished. The feeling of Daylin's slippery body atop of hers, running her hands over his body. It was even better than it had been in the shower. And it was like he knew exactly what she wanted before she could even think of it. Their bodies were in tune like they had been lovers for years instead of hours. She never wanted it to end.
The rain had slowed again when he helped her up from the couch, a satisfied grin on his face. He smacked her butt when she went ahead of him to the back door. She said "Hey."
"You had mud on your butt.”
"Yeah, right.”
They took a long shower together and were sitting on the couch fully dressed when she decided it was time to bring up her leaving. She didn't want to spoil the mood, but she had a feeling that what he had said earlier had been right. The longer she stayed, the stronger the ties between them were going to get. It sounded crazy to her, even in her head, but she knew it was true. And it wasn't just the incredible sex, though she could imagine herself quite happily having sex with Daylin on a regular basis. It was the way he looked at her. The way that he seemed to really care how she felt.
"Daylin.”
"Yes?"
"We need to talk about me leaving."
"You don't have to leave. You can stay here. There's nothing holding you back anymore Jess. You don't even have to look for a job right away. I have plenty of money in savings and it's not like I can't afford to feed another person."
"It's not about money Daylin. I have money. I live very cheaply and I always make sure that I have enough money for a couple months’ rent and deposit in case I can't find a job right away. And I have $35,000 that I knew nothing about."
"Okay.” She could see that the mention of the money meant nothing to him. "So what's the problem?"
"I can't stay with you."
"Why not? I want you to. You don't know how bad I want you to."
"I haven't lived with anyone since I lived with my mother and Ned for one thing. For another thing, we barely know each other."
"You told me things about yourself today that you've never told anybody. Am I right?"
"Ye
s.” She sighed.
"And as much as I'd like to sometimes, I don't go around and tell everyone about Amanda. We know enough."
"I can't do it Daylin. I'm too independent. I can't let you take care of me."
"You're too stubborn is what you are."
"My mother would probably agree with you on that one."
"Will you at least think about staying in town for a while? It’s not too far from your stepmom and your brother and sister. You don’t have to stay with me, but Welton really isn’t a bad town. Lucy really likes you.”
"Yeah, maybe.” But she figured that as long as she was in Welton, she would want to be with Daylin. She felt so up in the air right now and she wasn’t sure that she wanted anything to anchor her, especially an admitted player who she had had sex with on the night she had met him.
"Good. What do you want for dinner? I don't feel like cooking. You want to go out or order something?"
"I don't want to go anywhere."
The last thing she wanted was to be seen around town with Daylin. She didn't want to be seen as what Lucy had called his flavor of the week.
"Do you prefer pizza or Chinese?"
She didn't get a chance to answer because his phone chimed a text message. "Just a sec darlin'."
He looked at the screen and said "Damn."
"What?"
He laughed. "They did hit it big. $35,000 seems to be a magic number all of a sudden."
"They won $35,000? Wow. Good for them. Are you going to let him marry her?"
He looked thoughtful as he typed out a reply and didn't answer until his phone chimed again. "I guess I'm going to have to. His Mom would kill us both if I didn't."
"Kill you for what?"
"I guess it was more than the booze and the greasy food that made Lucy sick last night. Cam had to pull over about fifteen minutes after they left here because she got sick again. She sure does pick strange times to get morning sickness though."
"Morning sickness? Lucy's pregnant?"
"Yeah, I guess she forgot to take her birth control pills a couple times or something. Knowing Lucy, she probably did it on purpose so she could make sure that Cameron married her sooner rather than later. Wait, what am I saying? Lucy would not get pregnant on purpose. That would mean she'd have to quit drinking and smoking."
"Wow. They can really use the money then."
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 191