"Good excuse Daylin. How am I supposed to believe that you’ve changed when you’re with another woman just a few days after you told me that you wanted to be with me? You were the one that was trying to convince me that we should give what we might have a chance. I’m such an idiot. I’m going to leave Welton and never look back."
"You've got to forgive me Jess. I don't want to live without you."
"You're going to have to Daylin.”
It hurt like hell when she said it but she meant it. She wasn’t going to let Daylin get to her anymore, and she was going to figure out what the hell she needed to do to get her life together as soon as possible. Then she really would leave Welton and never look back.
"Baby please. I promise it will never happen again."
"That's what they all say. I'm supposed to believe that you're the first one that really means it right? You disgust me Daylin."
"Jess you will never know how sorry I am."
"I know exactly how sorry you are Daylin, believe me."
He tried to reach in the car window to touch her. She glared at him. "Don't you dare touch me."
He pulled back. "Can we please talk about this Jess? Come inside. I'd be more than happy to get Kateisha the hell out of there."
"Keep your please and your sorry. And you can sure as hell keep your Kateisha. I don't want a part of any of it. I don't want any part of you either. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you were sincere. I must have swallowed more bullshit in three days than most women swallow in a lifetime."
"It wasn't bullshit. I want you more than you know. I need you more than you know."
"You need to get away from my car so I can get the hell away from your sorry ass. I'll send you your shirt in the mail. If I don't decide to burn it first."
"Jess come on." She thought that he looked desperate, like he wanted to cry.
"I hope a girl you supposedly don't like was worth it. Goodbye Daylin."
She looked behind her and backed out of the driveway. He was still standing there watching her.
Her phone rang. She stifled the urge to throw it out the window. Instead she let it ring.
It rang and then stopped and rang at least five more times before she got home.
Jess parked her car in the lot and went to her apartment, suddenly feeling very tired. She used the restroom, trying to avoid her reflection in the mirror.
She splashed some water on her face and then left the bathroom.
She didn't bother to look at her computer as she passed it. She went to her bedroom, undressed and put on her pajamas, not letting herself look at Daylin's shirt resting on the bed yet.
When the light was off, she picked it up, feeling a sudden urge to tear it to shreds. But instead, she tossed it off the side of the bed.
She tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, but it was only a little after one a.m. when she fell into an uneasy sleep.
Chapter 9
The next morning she decided that it would be a good time to call Selana. She certainly needed something to take her mind off of Daylin.
She opened her mother’s e-mail and dialed Selana’s number, wondering if she’d even be able to reach the woman since she had no idea when the woman worked.
A woman’s voice answered after a few rings. It was a little eerie because Selana even sounded similar to her mother.
“Selana? This is Jess. Craig’s daughter.”
“Hi sweetie. It’s so good to hear from you. I've wanted to talk to you for a long time Jess. To explain my side of the story. I never wanted to take your father away from your mother, away from you. I was just lost without him for so long. When I wrote him the letter I didn't realize that he was married and had a child. I felt so bad for so long. He wanted to see you but your mother didn't think you could handle it. I never agreed with it, but we went along with your mother's wishes because your father was the one that walked away. He tried so hard to find you after you turned eighteen honey. It broke his heart when he wasn't able to see you again before he passed away. I have a letter waiting for you that he wrote. It's just words, but it might help you feel better."
"I think I'd like to read it.”
"I can send it to you if you'd like or I can save it for you. I'd really like to meet you and I know your brother and sister would too. Your mom sent some pictures of you growing up. You and Chelsea look so much alike. Of course you've both got your Daddy's eyes."
"I think you're about three hours away from me. My car's pretty good on gas so I could drive up sometime. When do you think would be a good time?" She had decided that she was going to do it. She wanted some sense of her father's life after he had left her. And she felt so empty. Maybe the letter her father had written her would help.
"You're more than welcome anytime Jess, but let me think. You can spend Thanksgiving with us of course since you're so far away from your mom, but that's still a ways away and Chelsea's been bugging me about meeting you nonstop since your mother called me. Craig's not in football this year and Chelsea gave up on cheerleading. Chelsea's in the choir. They're always having programs. Wait, I know the perfect time if it will work for you. The kids are both working on the school play. Chelsea's got a lead role which she's very proud of and Craig is working on the sets. It opens on Friday October 15th. I'm taking my vacation that week so someone will always be around. I don't know what your work schedule is like but you could come up any day that week, stay and see the play.”
It was about three weeks away. She could drive up on Thursday she thought. It would probably be better if she asked for Saturday off too, but she figured if she asked her boss right away if would be okay. "That would be great. I'll have to check with my boss to make sure that I can get Saturday off too since it would be kind of a pain to drive back and have to go to work. But she should be fine with it."
"Wonderful. The kids will be so excited. Do you need the money your father left you right away?"
"No. I'm fine." She still felt a little weird about taking so much money.
"Are you sure? It's been waiting for you for a long time. If you even need part of it for anything, you let me know. Otherwise I'll make sure the check's drawn up and ready for you when you get here."
"I'm okay on money really. Thank you though."
"Anything you need Jess, I'm here. I know it may seem a little strange with your father gone but I've always felt like we were missing part of our family not having you around."
The woman's words made her want to cry. What would her life have been like if her father would have taken her with him? Or even if her mother would have let her father see her Jess wondered? Selana certainly didn't sound like someone that would have cut her a check to get the hell out of her father's life because she wasn't hers.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it."
"Have you been to see your father's grave? I wanted to put the stone out here but he insisted on it being at home. We lived there for a while when the kids were real young but there wasn't enough opportunity there. His ashes are sitting on the mantle here though so I guess that's what really counts. Which reminds me, Craig made sure I put aside some of his ashes for you if you want them."
Cremation had always seemed a little weird to her but it wasn't much weirder than her carrying around a twenty-one year old jacket she thought. "Okay. If I can't get the time off from work or if anything changes I'll let you know. Otherwise I guess I will see you probably sometime Thursday October 14th."
"Good. It was so nice talking to you Jess. It puts my mind at ease to know you're okay."
“It was nice talking to you too. Thank you. I guess I'd better let you go."
"Is it okay if I save your number? If I give it to your sister she'll probably blast you with text messages, but if it's okay I'll give it to her too."
Jess smiled. Her sister. She almost missed being a teenager. "That's fine. I don't mind."
"She has so many questions for you. If you don't want to answer something just tell
her. She's at the age where a big sister sounds a lot more interesting to talk to than a mother."
There were definitely times growing up where she would have liked to have had a big sister Jess thought. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I should be able get directions online to make it to your place okay, but if I get lost I'll be sure to call you."
"Okay honey. You take care of yourself and again, if you need anything you call me."
"Thank you. Bye Selana."
"Bye Jess."
Her father's wife sounded like a nice woman. She was glad she had talked to her. She considered calling her mother, but realized that she wasn't in the mood to talk to her. It was going to take a lot for her to get over what her mother had done where her father was concerned.
She had to work that night, with a woman she hadn’t yet met named Starla. She wasn’t looking forward to it much, since John had let it slip that Starla had had a thing with Daylin for a while. She also hoped that Daylin wouldn’t show up at the bar. She didn’t think she could face him after what he’d done.
When she got to the bar, a beautiful blonde woman who looked like a model was standing behind the bar with Mary, the owner. Mary introduced them and then left her alone with Starla. Starla was nice, but Jess didn’t like the fact that she brought up Daylin, telling Jess that it would probably be a good idea if she stayed away from him. She didn’t mention her relationship with Daylin, but she did mention Kateisha and several other women that Daylin had been with.
It made Jess want to leave Welton more and more, but by the end of the night she realized that she really liked Starla. The woman was friendly and open and she felt like she could talk to her about anything. It was something to have a friend after keeping people out of her life for so long. Jess traded phone numbers with Starla at the end of the night and decided that maybe she would stay in Welton for a while at least, though she didn’t like to think that her decision had anything to do with what she felt for Daylin.
She got her first text message from her sister the next day around noon. The girl was shy at first but soon she was rattling off questions before Jess had a chance to answer them. She wanted to know if Jess had a boyfriend, what he looked like if she did. She told Jess about a boy she liked in class that she thought liked her but was too shy to say anything. She told Jess about school, the classes she liked and the ones she didn't. It seemed as if her half-sister must have spent her entire lunch hour texting back and forth with the sister she'd never met.
It made Jess feel good. Chelsea was sweet and smart. She sent pictures of her friends, her brother, the boy she had a crush on. She told Jess how excited she was to finally meet her. She told her how much she missed their father and how her mother had always been her hero. She told Jess that their brother could be a pain in the ass and that his girlfriend was the prettiest girl in school. By the time her sister had to go back to class Jess felt like she knew her.
Was she a good role model for a fifteen year old kid Jess wondered? Probably not. She'd taken up their father's bad habit and worked in a bar. She hadn't gone to college and had taken one dead end job after another. She didn't think Chelsea cared though. She obviously adored her mother but sometimes a girl needs a big sister. She certainly wouldn't recommend that the girl follow in her footsteps but she figured Chelsea had enough common sense not to. She knew where she wanted to go to college, what her second choice was. She wanted to be a teacher and already had a head start since she tutored freshman and middle school students at her school. She wanted a family, but she wanted to finish school first. She was sometimes afraid that she wasn't pretty enough. She asked Jess what it was like to fall in love.
Jess hadn't known how to answer that question so she'd fudged a little. She assured her sister that she was very pretty though it felt weird saying it to someone who looked like a younger version of herself.
She was glad she talked to Chelsea and figured that no matter how much time they might spend together that she was going to end up being a very proud big sister.
She was a little more worried about her half-brother, didn't think that the almost man that was named after their father would share his sister's easy acceptance of her. Then again she'd know for sure in a couple weeks one way or the other she thought. She was starting to get excited about her trip.
Mary had said that she was fine with giving her Saturday off.
Chapter 10
The days passed quickly. She didn’t see Daylin around town, and he didn’t come into the bar. But she knew he was there. She’d seen his car in the parking lot of the diner a few times when she’d driven by.
She was getting ready to go out to the movies with Starla one night when there was a knock at her door. She opened it and saw Daylin standing on her doorstep with a huge bouquet of flowers. She almost shut the door in his face, but decided against it.
He gave her a shy smile. “Hi.”
“Hi.” She had no idea what to say to him. She thought it was pretty arrogant of him to show up on her doorstep, but then again, his confidence was one of the many things about him that turned her on.
“Are you busy tonight?”
“I’m going to the movies.”
“Oh. Is there another guy in your life?”
“Daylin, that’s none of your business. We had sex. That’s obviously all it was or you wouldn’t have been doing what I found you doing with Kateisha.”
Daylin sighed. “I can never tell you how sorry I am Jess. Would you consider giving me a second chance?”
Jess looked away from him. He was too close to her right now for her to think straight. “No.”
"Please Jess. From the second I met you I know I wanted too much from you. Looking back on it I would have wanted to run away from me too. I met someone who hadn't had a real relationship and threw everything at her. I tell you about Amanda, I tell you that I've slept around. I practically proposed to you. It was a little too much."
"So that's why you slept with her?"
"I didn't sleep with her and no.”
“Why should I believe that?”
“Because it’s true Jess.”
She could see in his eyes that he meant it, but it wasn’t enough for her. She didn’t think she could trust him again.
“Please Jess. One more chance. I promise that if I screw this one up, I will leave you alone.”
Jess sighed. “Fine Daylin. You can call me later tonight. I’m going to the movies with a friend from work, not another man.”
“Starla huh?”
“Yeah. It’s so great to live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else’s business all the time.”
Daylin laughed. “Yeah. Thank you Jess. You don’t know how much this means to me. I won’t screw up again. It’s been so hard having you in town and not being able to be with you. I know I screwed up royally, but I promise you that I can be a better man for you.”
“Be a better man for yourself Daylin.”
“Yeah.” Daylin handed the flowers to her.
“Thank you. I need to finish getting ready. The movie lets out at ten or so, so you can call me then if you want.”
Daylin grinned. “I’ll be counting the minutes.”
Jess fought an urge to smile back at him. “Sure. Bye Daylin.”
He looked like he was walking on air as he walked back to his car. Jess let herself smile. She let herself feel it a little too. Daylin still got to her way more than she wanted to admit he did.
Starla told her she was crazy when she told her she’d said it was okay for Daylin to call her, but Jess reminded her that she was a big girl. Starla smiled and told her not to try to say she hadn’t warned her later on.
Daylin called her almost as soon as she was in her apartment. She took a deep breath and then let it out, answering the phone right before it went to voicemail.
Her heart was pounding when she said “Hello.”
“Hi Jess. How are you?”
“I’m good Daylin. I’m going to meet my stepmom
and brother and sister in a couple weeks.”
“That’s great. I’m sure they must be excited to meet you.”
“Yeah. I’ve been talking to my sister a little. She seems like a really good kid. Smart. How are Cameron and Lucy?”
"They're good. Still getting everything moved into their house. I've been helping out a lot which means I get to hear them tell me how much of a dumbass I am even more than usual. Luce wanted your phone number. I gave it to her. I hope that's okay."
"It's fine."
Maybe she could stand to talk to his cousin's fiancé now that she’d she was going to give him another chance. She had decided she was going to give him another chance as soon as she’d heard his voice. But she needed to make sure that he was okay with taking it slow. She wasn’t sure she could take getting so involved with him so quickly again.
“Daylin, we have to take this slow. I mean it. We can go out, but we’re not going to be hopping into bed together again anytime soon.”
“You’re no fun Jess.” But she could hear the smile in his voice.
She figured it was better to change the subject then. “How's your mom?"
"Not great. She's lost so much weight that she looks like a skeleton already. I'm so mad and yet I'm so sad that I don't know what to do. I'm grown and I look at my mom and I can't imagine what life will be like without her."
"I'm sorry.” It had been hard enough for her to learn that her father was gone after the fact. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like having to watch him die.
"It's okay. I'll deal with it. My dad on the other hand, I don't know. But we don't get away with telling our parents what to do even when we’re grown do we?"
She laughed half-heartedly. "Yeah, probably not."
"Have you talked to your mom again?"
"No."
"Are you that mad at her?"
"Not exactly. It's like there's this big space between us that wasn't there when I was growing up."
"You're grown babe. It happens."
"I know. But the whole thing with Ned. . . I never told anyone about it until I told you so I don't know why it should be hard not to talk about it. But it feels like I'm going to say something to her without meaning to."
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 197