by Sarah Banks
She didn’t tell her father the way she felt in Ethan’s arms. The way he held her close each night, the way he made love to her the night before last. She wanted every night to be like that for the rest of their lives. She loved waking up next to him, sharing breakfast with him. She looked forward to the end of the day when he would come through the door and his interactions with his niece and nephew and then her. When the children would go to bed, it would just be the two of them and words weren’t even always necessarily. She loved the companionable silence, how comfortable she felt with him. She loved him.
She brushed away a tear at the corner of her eye. Love was such a powerful emotion, wonderful, yet a little terrifying to feel so much for someone, especially because she wasn’t sure how he felt in return. She felt confident that he cared for her but beyond that she really didn’t know.
“Have you told him of your feelings Lottie?”
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
“It all happened so fast. I suppose I thought it was too soon, that he might think my feelings weren’t real. And I’m scared that he might not feel the same. Do you think I should tell him?” The vulnerability she felt made her want to bottle up her feelings and hide them away, to try to protect herself from getting hurt.
“Did I never tell you of when I courted your mother?”
“You met her at a house party I thought.”
“Yes, that’s right. I walked into a crowded room and I saw her and only her, laughing and smiling. She was so genuinely kind to every person she met and so very beautiful that I fell in love at first sight. I made it my mission to win her not knowing that her father had planned for her to marry one of his business partners. She was a dutiful daughter, she had every intention of marrying the person her father had chosen. Within the week I finally built up the courage to tell her I loved her and she laughed and told me that she didn’t believe anyone could fall in love so quickly. Nonetheless we spent the next couple of weeks in each other’s company as much as possible until I was called away as my father was ailing. I knew by then she was going to be proposed to by another man and yet I didn’t ask her to say no or to wait for me, all I said was, I just want you to be happy.” He gave a fond smile as if he was vividly remembering the conversation some thirty years ago. “She turned up on my doorstep a week later and said I had ruined the party, that it wasn’t the same after I left. She said she had her entire life mapped out and that love wasn’t apart of it but that I had made her love me, that she had refused the marriage proposal and that her father threatened to disown her. And then she demanded to know how I was going to make this right. I asked her to marry me right then and there and she gave me the most beautiful smile. Her father eventually came around and we married with his blessing and the fourteen years I had with her were the best years of my life. If I hadn’t told her I loved her when I did it would have changed the course of history. She and I probably would have married other people. You wouldn’t be here Lottie. So maybe I did look foolish but it was the best thing I ever did.”
Charlotte brushed away her tears and stopped to hug her father tightly, “I love you Father.”
“I love you my dear,” he replied gruffly, gently patting her back.
“I’m so sorry how I acted before—”
He gently pushed her away and gripped her arms tightly. “Don’t be sorry Lottie. I had a lot of time to think after you left and I realized that you tried to tell me, multiple times, that you weren’t happy and I just didn’t hear you. I thought I knew what was best. I forced you away and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I just want you to be happy,” he said, repeating the same words he had told her mother all those years ago.
Tears spilled over her eyes again and she fumbled for her handkerchief. “But you were right. About their being a world outside of my books. You forced me to see things differently, just like with my mother. I didn’t think at the time there was anything wrong with my life, I was content, but now I realize I was just existing, I wasn’t living. I love my life now because I’ve pushed myself past my comfort zone. I wake up every morning excited for a new day, my life is interesting and rewarding and fulfilling, I’m learning new things and challenging myself every day. If I mess up I just try again, over and over again until I get it right. I love taking care of Claire and Ben. Our house is full of life and love and laughter and I look forward to what the future holds for me and Ethan. And every night I can’t wait to wake up and do it all over again. I’m living my own story now and it’s a life worth living.”
Her father pulled her close again and she rested her head on his shoulder and smiled. She felt such a sense of relief unburdening herself to her father. She had been so upset with how she had left things with him but it was all resolved now. She felt like singing and dancing.
After a few minutes her father said, “My toes are frozen.”
Charlotte laughed and pulled back, looping her arm with his. “I know just the cure,” she said, promising him hot coffee and a hot meal from the restaurant.
Chapter Fifteen
At work Ethan couldn’t concentrate. He was useless in the office and didn’t trust himself around tools that could permanently maim him so he spent the entire workday doing grunt work – making deliveries. It took his mind off of Charlotte and the children because he was so focused on the physical task of loading and unloading heavy furniture.
He returned to the office near closing, bid a distracted Tommy and his sweetheart that had been waiting for him a good evening, locking the door behind the pair and took the day’s receipts upstairs. It was work that could be left for the next day but he was a bit more clear headed than before so he began to enter the orders into the ledger. When he came across a long invoice that had his wife’s name and signature on it he stared. She had purchased, if it could be called that since she was his wife and this was his business, a great deal of ready-made furniture, two headboards and beds, nightstands, wardrobes, washstands and a larger table and chairs. He tossed the receipt to his desk and retrieved his hat, having to see for himself what his wife had been up to in his absence.
He came home to a full house. Apparently the furniture had already been delivered because everyone – his wife, her father and stepmother, Claire, Ben and their grandparents were all sitting around a larger table than the one they had crowded around the previous night’s supper, talking and laughing. Charlotte jumped up from the table when she saw him, a nervous smile on her face as she quickly came toward him.
“You’re just in time for supper,” she greeted him, taking his hat and then pulling the jacket from his shoulders. “I came by to see you earlier but was told you were out making deliveries.”
“You purchased furniture,” Ethan said with a raise of his brow.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” she replied in a quiet voice, keeping their conversation private from the people seated at the table only a few feet away. “I wanted to ask you about inviting Claire and Ben’s grandparents and my father and stepmother to stay here while they’re in town instead of at the hotel. And when you weren’t there and Tommy didn’t know how long you’d be, well I guess I made the decision for us. We do have two spare bedrooms. They just needed furnishing.”
He didn’t immediately say anything so she continued, “Mr. and Mrs. Reed really want to spend time with their grandchildren. And I just thought everybody would be much more comfortable here than at the hotel. Are you angry?”
“No,” he answered honestly. She had such a nervous look in her eyes that he lightly brushed his hand against her cheek. He pulled away when he saw her father watching them from the table over her shoulder. “Truly. You were very thoughtful to bring them closer to their grandchildren. I think you’re right, they will be more comfortable here. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you when you came in.”
“That’s okay. I received the best service, on account that I’m the boss’s wife.”
He laughed.
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“Come eat,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him toward the table.
That evening reminded him a lot of when he was younger and lived back east with his sister and both of his parents had still been alive, a long time ago now. A full house, lots of good food and company, talking, stories, laughter and games. Ethan didn’t allow himself to think of that time often, because after his father had died, things had never been the same. He hadn’t realized how much he missed that until now and all of it was because of Charlotte.
∞∞∞
Several hours later and the house was quiet again. The children were long asleep, Mr. and Mrs. Reed insisted on putting their grandchildren to bed for the second night in a row and retired shortly after. The rest of them had just finished two hours of cardplaying where Ethan had discovered something new about Charlotte. She was a good card player like her father and just like her father she was also very competitive. He and Margaret had been paired together and had shared many a look of humor as they were trounced soundly and both father and daughter loudly celebrated their victory.
They entered their bedroom after wishing her father and stepmother a good night. It was the first time he and Charlotte had gone to bed at the same time. Charlotte looked at him with a blush and blew out the lamp before removing her clothing. But Ethan had a pretty good imagination and the rustling of her clothing did nothing to soothe his ardor for her. He quickly undressed himself and slipped beneath the covers, pulling her into his arms when she joined him.
He wanted to make love to her. While sleeping children across the hall was one thing, her father in the adjacent bedroom was another thing altogether so Ethan had to be content just to hold her.
He took a deep breath and said, “Charlotte,” at the same time she said, “Ethan.” He gave a nervous chuckle. “Ladies first.”
“When are you leaving?” She asked. “My father said you have to travel to Denver again soon.”
“Yes, I do.” On his last trip he had offered a partnership to his foreman who was already in Denver managing nearly everything having to do with the building of the second store. He was a good man that had been with Ethan since nearly the beginning of Morgan Furniture. Ethan needed to return to Denver to finalize the deal. He had made the offer before he realized Charlotte was unhappy here with him. By creating a partnership, he thought he wouldn’t have to travel as much and could spend more time with his wife, but if she left, he supposed none of it mattered anymore. However, the plan was already in motion and he was obligated to be in Denver next week. He took another deep breath and realized it was shaky and that his heart was pounding. He blurted out, “I don’t want you to go.”
She stiffened in his arms and he resisted the urge to pull her closer as she tried to slip away. “You don’t want me to go to Denver with you?” She asked, her voice filled with hurt.
“What?” Now it was his turn to pull away. “Denver? Yes, no, I mean of course I want you to go to Denver with me but I meant I don’t want you to go back east.”
“Back east? Why would I do that?” Her voice sounded so surprised. He wanted to see her face so he turned to relight the lamp, it filled the room with a light golden warmth.
“Because you’re unhappy here with me.”
“Ethan I’m not unhappy here. I was unhappy with the way I left things with my father and I admit I was preoccupied with that along with knowing that the children would soon be leaving. I’ve grown rather attached to them,” she admitted, the corner of her mouth curling up. “But that’s all. I promise you, I’m not unhappy here, especially with you.”
“Then you don’t plan to leave?” He asked in disbelief.
She shook her head with a bright smile. “No. Never. I love you Ethan.”
He quickly pulled her back into his arms and kissed her with all the love he felt. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, fully returning his kiss. “Charlotte, I want to make love to you.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“But…” He glanced at the wall joining their bedrooms.
“We’ll be quiet,” she promised. And they were. He left the light on for the first time and he was able to watch her face. They were as quiet as possible but her face was so expressive. The silence and furtiveness added a different element to their lovemaking.
“I love you,” he whispered at the moment of his crisis. “Charlotte I love you so much.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she held him tightly, bringing his mouth back to hers and he absorbed her pleasure.
Curled up against his side afterwards, she sighed contentedly. “I love you Ethan.”
He looked down at her, waited until her eyes shyly met his and then tipped her chin up to his and gave her a sweet kiss. “I love you Charlotte.”
He gently ran his hand up and down her back, her body lax and he thought on the verge of sleep when she spoke softly, “I spoke with Mr. and Mrs. Reed at great length today during lunch. And as much as they want to take the children, they’ve realized that they’re past the age of taking care of little ones, especially one as young as Ben.”
“I have to admit I was worried about that myself. I didn’t see them the last time they came to town. They are so much older than I remember. I do remember how much they doted over Claire though and after John died they were the first ones I thought of.”
“Did you ever consider yourself?” She asked softly, turning on her back to look up at him.
“Honestly, no. I visited often but that’s not the same as taking care of children full-time. I didn’t know how to any more than you did. Plus you were on your way and I didn’t think it was fair to burden you with that, especially so early in our marriage. And I was busier than ever with work. I knew how much their grandparents loved them but it wasn’t practical for them to visit often. It just seemed best all the way around.”
“You are wonderful with them,” she said quietly, looking up at him with such a sweet expression on her face.
He cradled her jaw in his hand, sweeping his thumb across her lower lip and bent down to follow it with a kiss. When he pulled away he said, “So are you.”
She gave him a radiant smile.
“What about now? Would you reconsider raising them yourself if their grandparents couldn’t?”
“Are you asking me if Claire and Ben can stay here?” He asked in surprise.
Charlotte nodded. “When I first arrived and found out I was to take care of them, I was terrified. But day after day, it became easier and just as I fell in love with you, I fell in love with them. They’re part of our family. They help make our house a home and I can’t imagine living here without them. I thought I couldn’t change the fact that they were leaving but now that I know their grandparents’ situation I feel it’s meant to be. I know we can never replace their parents, but I love them both dearly. I want to be there for them, give them a good life and raise them alongside our own children.”
“I think that’s a fine idea.”
“You do?”
“I do,” he replied, dropping a light kiss on her lips. “Truth to be told, I regretted sending the letter in the first place though at the time I thought it was for the best. But now that I have you and them in my life, I can’t imagine it any other way.”
“I love you so much Ethan,” she said, hugging him tightly and he kissed her again and again.
“I have a confession to make,” she said when he finally stopped and rolled onto his back with her still in his arms, her ear resting against his heart.
“You do? Well, I suppose now’s the time to make it as you’ll never find me in a better mood than this,” he said with a smile. It was true he realized, he’d never been happier than he was at this moment.
She leaned up on her elbow to look at him and said, “Since they’ll be returning east without the children, I’ve invited Mr. and Mrs. Reed to stay for Christmas. They said they’d love to, if it was okay with you. Is it?”
Christmas was several weeks away still
but Ethan liked John’s parents rather a lot and they doted on his niece and nephew. “Alright.”
She hesitated. “And my father and Margaret. I’ve invited them too. I realized immediately I should have asked you first but—”
He gently pressed his finger over her lips stilling her speech.
“Your father doesn’t really like me but if it makes you happy Charlotte, then yes.”
“He likes you! Well, he will as soon as he gets to know you and what a better way than to share a house together for several weeks,” she joked. She cupped his face, her tone more serious as she said, “I suppose he is very protective of me. But I love you Ethan and for that reason alone, he’ll love you too. You’re a wonderful husband and uncle, I couldn’t want anything more.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Well, when you sweettalk me that way, how can I say no? I guess that’s all you invited, right? I mean we don’t have any more spare bedrooms.”
She hesitated again and he couldn’t help but laugh, hugging her closer. “Am I wrong? Did you invite someone else? I guess they could sleep on the sofa. I’ve done it a time or two myself when I was too tired to make it upstairs. I guess if they don’t mind a stiff back.”
She laughed, pushing playfully at his shoulder. “No, I didn’t invite anyone else. I never thought I’d like a full house but when it’s filled with people I love and care about, that’s a different story. But I did invite Claire and Ben’s grandparents to spend next Christmas with us as well and I promised I’d ask you about visiting them this coming summer. They really want to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives as much as possible. I know you’re tremendously busy opening the new store but maybe we could spare a few weeks?”