“I was just thinking how lucky I am,” she said honestly. “Such a short time ago I thought my world had come to an end, and instead of which—”
“Yes?” he said softly as she paused.
“Instead of which, I have good friends and a new life, and if I’ve learned anything in the last few months, it’s that nothing lasts for ever, not even the bad times.”
“That’s quite a lesson to have learned, Miss Sullivan,” he said, more touched than he was willing to show. “But I always knew you were resilient – and if you need me to explain the word to you—”
“I don’t,” she said. “I know what it means. But how about you? Aren’t you disappointed that none of the agencies you’ve approached seem interested in a country girl model for magazine pages?”
She spoke lightly, putting the onus on herself, for she knew how much store Luke had set by the magazine work. So far it had come to nothing, no matter how many agencies had seen his portfolio. She saw him shrug.
“I’m pretty resilient too,” he said. “I’ve learned to wait for the things I want the most.”
Kate avoided his eyes, although her heart began to beat faster. Luke was her friend, and so far he had seemed content to remain that way. But she knew instinctively that he wanted to be more than that. Deep down she knew she wanted it too, but she was too afraid to let herself admit it except sometimes when she was half-asleep at night, when the memory of his kiss stirred her.
When he spoke again, it was in a brisker manner, very well aware that any hint at a deeper relationship made her uncomfortable.
“I wanted to say something special to you, Kate. I normally close the studio for a week during May and again in September. And you already know my favourite happy hunting-ground, don’t you?”
She looked at him blankly for a moment, and then her face flooded with colour.
“You mean Bournemouth, I suppose,” she said, her voice suddenly flat, her feelings about the place still very mixed.
“Didn’t you ever hear the old proverb that facing your enemy is the best way of dealing with him?”
But her enemy was Walter Radcliffe, and what he had done to her could never be dealt with in the way Luke implied.
When she didn’t answer, he went on, “Why don’t we take another holiday down there, Kate? We could go out on the boat whenever we liked, and we’d enjoy ourselves from the outset, instead of fencing around one another for most of the week.”
“I couldn’t possibly do that!”
“Why not? You’re over twenty-one now, remember. You don’t have to answer to anyone any more.”
Unconsciously, she fingered the delicate gold chain Luke had given her for her birthday. She had been almost too embarrassed to accept it, but she had also loved it far too much to refuse.
“How could I go back to the Charlton Hotel? The last time I was there I was registered as a married woman, in case you’ve forgotten.”
She turned her face away from him, biting her lips, and wishing she didn’t have to think of that awful day. Luke had to fight back the temptation to say she could register again as a married woman, if she would only say the word.
“We don’t have to stay at the Charlton. There are other hotels,” he said coolly. “You will be my cousin, recovering from a recent bout of influenza, and needing the sea air.”
The irony of inventing more lies wasn’t lost on Kate, but the sense of freedom he was offering her was becoming very tempting.
“Are you really serious?” she said at last.
“Of course I am. Don’t you know that I—”
“Always mean what you say,” she finished for him.
“Well then?”
“Well then, all right!” she said, suddenly reckless. “I’ll be your cousin for a week, providing we don’t have to face the same people in the Charlton Hotel.”
It was a shame, though, because her memories of that hotel were certainly not all bad. Those of the latter part of that week were more than pleasurable – floating in Luke’s arms on the dance floor and getting slightly tipsy and having to be taken to her room, were just a few of them. There were others … the warm caress of his hand on her breast, and the sweetness of his kiss on her softly parted mouth. She veered her thoughts away, knowing that she could be heading for a dangerous situation if she went away with him. What would her parents say if they knew? And Donal? And what would Mrs Wood think? All her sudden enthusiasm fizzled out.
“Luke, I can’t go,” she said.
“Good Lord, surely you haven’t changed your mind already. Even for a woman, it must be a record. Why can’t you go?”
“Because – well, because, that’s all!”
“Would you feel happier if I said you were my fiancée? Strictly for the benefit of the hotel staff and the other guests, of course. There’s nothing wrong with an engaged couple sharing a week at a respectable hotel, Kate, in separate rooms, naturally. All sorts of people were thrown together during the war, and it made people see that it could be perfectly respectable. And the upper classes have never seen anything wrong in having houseparties for both sexes.”
Kate ran her tongue around her dry lips. He made everything sound so feasible. Just as Walter had. She felt Luke take one of her hands in his and hold it tightly.
“Kate, you have nothing to fear from me. I would never do anything to harm you,” he said gently. “I just think it would do us both good to get away from the stuffy old city.”
“You’ll be the one to tell Mrs Wood then,” she said, a little choked. And he knew it was her way of capitulating.
Mrs Wood wasn’t in the least perturbed by the news.
“It’s a lovely idea, Lukey, and you’ve worked this girl hard enough these last few months. She deserves a break.”
Kate smiled. It hadn’t seemed like work at all, and the weeks had flown by. She was honestly amazed to find just how relaxed and serene they had been, and how easily she had slipped into her new life, as if she had been born to it. Her spirits lifted at the easy way her landlady accepted the idea that she and Luke were going away together, and her heart skipped a beat as the words slid into her mind. Going away together … no matter what anybody said, there was a wicked ring to them, and it was exciting and daring. When Doris and Faye were told the news over supper that evening, they were frankly envious. As an old theatrical trouper, Thomas Lord Tannersley wouldn’t have turned a hair either, had he been at home that evening to hear it.
“Don’t go thinking the worst, and imagining any goings-on in Bournemouth, you two,” Kate said to the other girls while Mrs Wood was in the kitchen making tea for them all. “You both know that Luke’s a real gentleman.”
“More’s the pity,” Doris said. “You’re not telling us he’s never tried it on with you, are you, Kate?”
“Of course he hasn’t!”
“Oh, come off it, love. Anybody can see he’s only got eyes for you,” said Faye. “This might be just the time when he’ll make his move. Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Kate? And if not, I’ll willingly change places with you,” she added with a sly grin.
“I know what I’m doing, and it’ll all be above board, I assure you,” Kate said, in her primmest voice.
“Oh aye, bed-board, if you’re not careful – or if you’re lucky!” Faye said, almost convulsing as Mrs Wood came back into the room. Kate hastily shushed them both.
“What’s all this, then? Can anybody share the joke, or is it a private one?” the landlady said.
“Oh, it’s very private, I’d say, wouldn’t you, Kate?” Doris said, smothering a laugh with difficulty.
She ignored them and turned to Mrs Wood. “Doris and Faye were just giving me the benefit of their worldly experience, about going away with a gentleman, Mrs Wood.”
The landlady dumped the tray on the table and glared at the two girls, her face its usual scarlet from the cooking.
“And I can just guess what was in their minds,” she said smartly. “Well, let
me tell you two charmers that I’ve known Lukey since he was a small boy, and there ain’t a kinder, more considerate and gentlemanly person on this earth.”
“Well, that’s just what we’ve been saying!” Doris said innocently. “He’s a real saint and no mistake.”
And if the implication was that it was no way that she or Faye would want a man to behave in a seaside hotel, Kate chose to ignore that too. But there was one thing she was sure about, she wasn’t going to write and tell her family about this September holiday, and she didn’t care to examine why.
* * *
The Bentley covered the miles smoothly and efficiently, and Kate began to feel as if they were real gentry as they left the London suburbs and headed south-west. She trusted Luke’s driving as much as she trusted the man himself, and she had told herself to stop worrying about anything, and made up her mind to enjoy it.
“Happy?” Luke said.
He glanced at her, hearing her little sigh of pleasure as she leaned back against the luxurious upholstery.
“Very,” she said. “I do appreciate all this, Luke.”
“Stop it,” he said.
“Stop what?”
“Stop thinking you have to thank me for every damn thing. Don’t you know I’m only doing this so that I can have your undivided attention for a week instead of sharing you with half the world?”
She looked at him in astonishment, unsure whether or not he was serious, and he laughed.
“Kate, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tease you when you always take the bait so readily.”
“No, I don’t—”
“Yes, you do, my love, and it’s one of the things that’s sweet and natural about you. Don’t ever change, Kate.”
Sweet and natural … Walter used to say that about her. Kate was angry that she suddenly remembered it, just when she least wanted to.
“But we don’t stay the same for ever, do we? We all grow into different people, Luke. You can’t tell me the war didn’t change you in some ways, or that your new profession didn’t give you a new angle on life.”
“Quite true. And thanks to my dear old great-aunt Min, my life definitely changed for the better. Whatever the reason for your being in Bournemouth that first time – which I’m not going to mention again – if it hadn’t been for the change in your circumstances, we’d never have met, would we?”
“And are you glad that we did?” Kate asked, unable to prevent the provocative question leaving her lips.
“What do you think, lady?” he said with a grin.
They were booked in to the Parkstone Manor Hotel, which was on the Poole side of Bournemouth, well away from the Charlton. Before they left the car and went inside, Luke drew out a small box from his pocket.
“You’re here as my fiancée, Kate, so it’s sensible for you to wear a ring on your finger. You can give it back to me when we return to London,” he added, to allay any alarm she might have at the suggestion. “It was another of my great-aunt Min’s legacies, so I hope it fits.”
He opened the box and Kate saw a pretty Victorian-style opal ring inside. Weren’t opals reputed to be unlucky? The thought flashed through her mind and out again as Luke took the ring and slid it onto the third finger of her left hand. Impulsively he raised it to his lips and smiled at her.
“Now we’re official. Just for the duration, as they say.”
“Just for the duration,” Kate murmured.
It was a beautiful thought. But it was also so awful … the last time she had come to Bournemouth she had worn a wedding ring she wasn’t entitled to, and now she was wearing his revered great-aunt’s ring. For someone who believed in honesty, Kate knew she was going to have a hell of a lot to answer for when the great day of reckoning finally came.
“So are you ready to brave Parkstone Manor?” Luke said. “They won’t eat you, Kate.”
She took a deep breath. “Of course I’m ready. And I won’t let you down, Luke.”
She didn’t quite know why she said that, but she owed Luke such a lot, and she’d play the part of his fiancée to the best of her ability. In public, at least.
And in the end, it was all very easy. The hotel was discreet and comfortable in an old-fashioned way, and their rooms were on different floors, as if to state that this was a respectable establishment that didn’t cater for any funny business. But she learned that Luke had requested it anyway, and it flitted through her mind that Doris and Faye would have been mightily disappointed to know it.
The week couldn’t have been more different to the ruined honeymoon, because she had someone to share it with, and she didn’t spend half the time brooding and weeping.
It was a perfect Indian summer, with warm sunshine and mellow breezes. In the mornings they took invigorating walks along the beach, and in the afternoons they drove into the harbour at Poole and took out Luke’s boat. And because he made no demands on her, Kate had never felt so idyllically relaxed in her life.
While they were idly drifting in the boat in the latter part of the week, she leaned back with her eyes blissfully closed, and Luke spoke quietly.
“Tell me if I’m speaking out of turn, Kate, but has the enemy finally been disposed of?”
She opened her eyes slowly, knowing he meant the spectre of Walter. And of course he had gone. The bad times had gone. Any love she had for him was gone.
But there was still something remaining that Luke didn’t even know about, and never would, although, if he was to mean anything to her sometime in the future, he would have to know. She shivered at the thought of destroying the pedestal he seemed to have put her on.
“So not entirely,” Luke said, answering his own question. “Then forget I asked, and I won’t mention it again.”
“Just give me time,” Kate pleaded.
“That’s just what I am doing. But how much time do you need before you realise that you’re a warm, lovely woman, and some other man would love you and cherish you for the rest of his life, given the chance?”
She would have been an idiot not to know he was talking about himself. She could see the love in his eyes and hear it in the sudden deep vibrato in his voice. If he felt half the passion for her that she had experienced for Walter, then she knew she was turning her back on something wonderful. But only temporarily, she thought desperately, for by now she couldn’t imagine her life without Luke Halliday.
“I do know it, Luke. But I was so badly hurt, and I have to get over it in my own time. But I will get over it, and in answer to your unspoken question, I no longer feel anything for Walter. I just can’t forget what he did to me.”
“You must try, Kate,” he said, more seriously. “If you don’t, it will fester inside you and ruin your life for good.”
If you only knew the truth of that remark, she thought. In the eyes of the world, I’m already ruined.
“Anyway, let’s stop talking about Walter. He’s in the past, and I want to keep him that way,” she said, with enforced brightness.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Luke started up the boat’s engine once more and they cruised back to shore. Kate trailed her hands in the sun-kissed water and thought she must have been blessed after all, to have a second chance at happiness.
Chapter Eleven
They returned to London a week later, and Kate reluctantly handed back the opal ring to Luke as soon as he stopped the car in Jubilee Terrace. She had felt so happy wearing it, and any superstition surrounding the gems had been dispelled, but it wasn’t hers to keep, and she wasn’t entitled to wear it.
“Thank you, Kate,” he said. “I’ll keep it safe for when you agree to wear it permanently.”
“Are you so sure of me?” she asked lightly, trying not to let her heart jump at his words.
“No. Just hopeful. But I warn you, I shan’t be patient for ever,” he added.
She knew she couldn’t expect it. They had danced most nights at the hotel, and she was very well aware that Luke was a passionate man. But he was treating her like a frig
htened virgin, no less, she thought, when nothing could be further from the truth. She shivered, knowing the last thing in the world she wanted was to shatter his illusions about her.
The girls at the boarding house were eager to hear all about the week away, and were frankly disappointed when Kate didn’t tell them anything in the least salacious.
“You mean nothing happened at all?” said Faye.
“Of course something happened. We didn’t just sit in the hotel twiddling our thumbs. We went out in Luke’s boat every day, we walked along the beach, we danced in the evenings—”
“And what then?” Doris asked, her eyes gleaming as she leaned forward across the table where they were eating Mrs Wood’s home-made scones and jam.
“And then we went to bed. Separately, you numbskulls. What do you take me for? Or Luke, come to that? He’s got a reputation to think about.”
“Oh phooey,” Doris said rudely. “What a waste of a week. Are you sure dear Lukey’s quite normal in the equipment department?”
Kate looked at her blankly for a minute, not understanding. When she did her laughter was tinged with an embarrassment she hoped they couldn’t detect. It hadn’t needed words to know, when she was pressed tightly against Luke, that he was perfectly normal in every respect. And very aroused by her. And wanting her.
“You’re shockers, both of you,” she said crisply. “And I’m not going to say another word about the holiday if you can’t stop making these daft remarks. You’d better not make them in Mrs Wood’s hearing, either, if you don’t want to be slung out on your ears.”
And, visibly disappointed, they knew it was all they were going to get out of her.
Kate reported for work on Monday, having been told she needn’t come in before 11 o’clock, to recover from the long drive home. So she spent a lazy morning in Jubilee Terrace, feeling better than she had in months. It was the invigorating sea air, of course; but she knew in her heart it was more than that. You could be in the most exciting place in the world and be thoroughly miserable if you were alone, or with the wrong person. But with the right one, any place could be wonderful.
A Different Kind of Love Page 16