They reached the end aisle and Maggie came running up towards them, holding the piece of paper that Gretel had been carrying. “You need to see this,” she said, handing it to Jules.
“Can’t it wait?”
“I don’t think you want to wait to read it.”
Jules opened the letter up, and George took a Mini-Maglite from his pocket and turned it on.
Dear Jules
By the time you get this letter, I will be gone. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, but I was attacked yesterday when we ran into that horde. One of them got me. It wasn’t a big wound, but I know there is something wrong … something inside me that doesn’t belong.
I hope you understand; I just wanted to spend a little more time with Gretel. I just wanted to tell her that I love her, over and over until she never forgets. I know she will be safe here. You are a good person; I know you will look after her.
Please don’t worry. I disposed of all the crockery and cutlery I used, so there is no danger of me passing this on to anyone else. I have taken thirty-two paracetamol and ibuprofen as well as some sleeping tablets I found, more than a lethal dose, and I will be gone long before the virus can take me, so I will not present a risk to anyone.
I hope you can forgive me for hiding this from you, but I know you’ll understand.
Thank you for everything,
Daniella.
“The fuckin’ stupid bitch. She honestly thought she could outrun this thing? What the fuck was wrong with her? She’d been on the road all this time. How didn’t she know the only way you can kill this thing once it’s inside you is by killing the brain? She put her daughter at risk. She put every last fuckin’ one of us at risk,” Jules spat then turned towards Maggie. “When they’ve got rid of all the bodies; when it’s all cleaned up, I want every last man, woman and child down at the front of the store. I want every last torch, lantern, fuckin’ birthday candles, whatever down at the front of the store. I’m never having this shite happen again.”
Neither of her friends had ever seen such anger on Jules’s face as she stormed off.
✽ ✽ ✽
Twenty-seven minutes later, every man woman and child was assembled around the customer service desk at the front of the store. Jules still had the same look on her face as when she had walked away from Maggie and George.
“Thirteen,” Josh whispered to her and then walked back to join the rest of the assembled crowd.
“Thirteen!” Jules said loudly, looking at all the sad and tear-stained faces. “That’s how many people we lost tonight, thirteen. That’s not even mentioning the people we lost out there today.” She held a letter up in the light. “I won’t ever again let one person’s fuckin’ blind stupidity put us all at risk. We lost thirteen tonight, but it could have been every last one of us. She started unbuttoning her shirt; when she was done, she took it off and threw it to the floor. She pulled off her T-shirt and undid her bra, dropping those in front of her too. Jules slipped her boots off then unbuttoned her jeans and pulled those and her knickers down as well. She kicked her clothes forward and stood there completely naked. Her thick, red hair flowed over her shoulders and down her back for all to see as she slowly twirled in the light. Nervous mutterings started around the gathered crowd, and Maggie stepped forward. “Jules, sweetheart I—”
“Now,” Jules interrupted, facing the audience once more, “I don’t care if you’ve got body issues. I don’t care if you’ve got saggy tits, love handles, a hairy back, or a fuckin’ One Direction tattoo on your arse. And you know why I don’t care? Because these fuckin’ things don’t care. These fuckin’ foul-smelling, flesh-eating bags of shite don’t care. All they care about is whether you’re living and breathing. And if you are, they’ll do their best to make sure that you stop doing both. So, no more! All the men, over there now. All the women stay here. Every last one of us is going to strip off and get checked over. If anybody has a scratch or a bite, we’re going to find out in the next few minutes. If anybody here isn’t on board with this”—Jules pointed towards the back of the store—“you know where the fuckin’ exit is.”
She remained there for a moment with her hands on her hips, naked to the world in the glow of the many lights that had been assembled. The audience had been stunned into silence and rendered immobile for the time being. Then Josh clapped his hands. “Okay everybody, you heard Jules, let’s get this done.”
The men all filed off to the right, a number of them picking up lanterns and torches as they went. Virtual silence reigned for the next fifteen minutes as people disrobed and separated into groups. Everyone was feeling something way beyond embarrassment, but each of them knew that Jules was absolutely right, and how could they possibly object when she had done what she did?
Maggie and Jules insisted on being the first to be examined then acted as adjudicators while the other women went through the same process. George and Josh did the same thing with the men, and when it was all over, there were lots of faces that had flushed bright red, but there were certainly no bite or scratch victims left on the premises. Everybody assembled breathed grateful sighs as they got to put their clothes on once again. When it was all over, they formed a single crowd and gathered around Jules.
“Right. That’s us all clear,” Jules said. “From here on, we take in anybody new, they have a full examination. Now, it’s late, and we should all get some sleep, it will be another long day tomo—” The entire Home and Garden Depot suddenly lit up in a blinding flash as lightning poured in through the skylights.
There were sharp intakes of breath all around the crowd and as the thunder made the corrugated roof vibrate like a thousand timpani drums all being hit at once, some of the younger children and a couple of the older women let out stifled screams.
“Okay,” Maggie said, taking over, “everybody get some sleep.” The gathering began to dissipate. Then, just as the final echoes of thunder faded, a downpour began the likes of which nobody had seen or heard before. The sound was almost deafening, and Jules, Maggie and George all looked up towards the skylights to see if it was, in fact, rain and not a billion ball bearings that had been dropped from the sky. As the lightning shimmered again, they saw the deluge and knew that it was going to be a long, long night.
“I’ll see you both in the morning,” Jules said.
“Are you okay?” Maggie asked.
“You really want me to answer that?”
Maggie threw her arms around Jules. “Nobody could have done more.”
“We both know that’s a lie. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, reaching across and squeezing George’s hand before walking up one of the aisles. She stopped outside a double bay that had two thick pieces of tarpaulin covering the entrance.
“Jules,” Andy said, surprised, as she popped her head around the corner.
“Can I come in for a second?”
“Course you can.”
Jules stepped inside. Andy and Jon were getting ready for bed; Rob was dressed with his rifle by his side, a knife in his belt and ready for action. “How many bullets have you got for that thing?” Jules asked, nodding towards the gun.
“Err … none. But I think it makes people feel safer seeing it than not.”
Jules smiled. “Thank you all for tonight. I saw you. I saw you racing to the rescue again.”
All three of them looked embarrassed for a moment. “What now?” Andy finally asked, breaking the silence.
“Now, I’m going to go to bed, get some sleep and hope tomorrow isn’t an action replay of the absolute fuckin’ nightmare that today was.” She shuffled over to each of them as they knelt by the side of their airbeds. “Goodnight. I love all of you.” She kissed them on the forehead then crawled back out of the bay and into the aisle.
The thunder rumbled again. It was moving away, but there was no signal that the rain was going to stop anytime soon. Jules walked slowly between the two giant units of racking. Several torches and lanterns were still on behind the curtain
ed fronts to the cubicles. She could hear hushed chatter behind some, muffled crying behind others. Jules could not remember a worse day since this had all started.
How many people were talking about running into the night and fending for themselves? Ten? Twenty? All of them? She couldn’t blame them.
Jules rounded the corner and continued along until she reached the aisle that was home to her own cubicle. The thunder drummed once more, but it was far less foreboding. Eventually, she reached her bedsit and stepped inside, flopping down heavily on the bed. She did not shut her eyes, she just lay there, thinking about the day’s events and listening to the sounds outside. Everybody had been checked, every last person out there, but now this place did not feel as safe as it once had. Like a ransacked house, it felt violated, like there was something missing.
Tears filled her eyes as she thought about Ben. He had saved her life. Despite everything, despite that small part of her that hated him for what he had done at the school, despite the coldness she had displayed towards him, when it had counted, he had given his life to save hers.
Jules turned over onto her side, blocking out the dim glow beyond the tarpaulin. She finally closed her eyes tight and felt the uncomfortable warmth as the tears drizzled onto her camping pillow. “Thank you, Ben,” she whispered into the dark in the hope that, somehow, he could still hear her words. The noise of the rain drowned out her sobs as they became louder and, eventually, as the tears ran dry, icy hands dragged her into a nightmare-filled sleep.
CHAPTER 17
When Jules awoke the next morning, she did not feel refreshed. She felt like she had relived the events of the previous day over and over. She heard the rustling and shuffling as people threw back their plastic, canvas and cloth partitions to face the morning ahead. Part of her wanted to escape the confines of her small cubicle, and part of her was dreading to see how many people had vanished into the night never to be seen again.
Jules approached the cafe area to see Maggie and George already settled at a table. “We got your breakfast,” Maggie called over, and a number of heads turned before turning back to their own conversations.
Jules walked across to them and sat down at the table. “Dare I ask?”
“Dare you ask what?” George replied.
“How many we’re down this morning.”
“Down?”
“Jesus Christ, do I need to draw you a picture? How many people left overnight?”
“Ah, I see,” he said, taking a bite out of a piece of crispbread with a thick layer of jam smeared over it.
“And?”
“How many times have you asked this question?” Maggie said.
“Well, it’s different this time, isn’t it?”
“Why, because you had a meltdown and whipped your jubblies out in front of everyone?” Maggie asked.
“Well, yeah, and the loss of people in the morning, the attack in the evening, not to mention—”
“Nobody left.”
“Rain hasn’t let up,” George said, matter-of-factly.
“Am I still dreaming? You’re talking about the bloody weather after what happened?” Jules replied.
George let out a long sigh. “Jules, Stephen, Jeff and Clive were only ever interested in watching out for themselves. It was always just a matter of time with them. These people here,” he said, gesturing towards the ones queuing at the counter and then to the ones gratefully eating their breakfasts, “these are our people.”
“Our people? What does that mean?”
“It means that they’re like us. They realise that they’re part of something bigger, part of a community. We stick with them, and they’ll stick with us.”
“Christ knows why,” Jules muttered under her breath.
“I’m sure he does, but I do too. It’s because of you.”
“Yeah right. When’s my fuckin’ coronation?”
“You can mock me, but it’s true. People look at you, Jules, and they see someone like themselves. They see a young woman who’s doing her best. And yes, she’s scared and unsure of herself and she doesn’t always get things right—”
“Stop, you’re making me blush with all these fuckin’ compliments.”
George ignored her and carried on. “But they also see someone who puts others before herself, who will always try to do the right thing, no matter what, who’s not afraid of stripping naked in front of a crowd of people to show that she’s no better or worse than anybody here, and she’s prepared to practice what she preaches.”
Jules went quiet for a moment, letting George’s words sink in. “So … what now?”
“So, I think a couple of days of normality wouldn’t go amiss,” Maggie said.
“Yeah, I could do with a couple of days of normality. A nice lie-in, maybe catch a matinee with my mates at the cinema, then go out on the raz, finish the night off with a nice kebab and then wake up the following morning smelling of vomit and doing it all again. You think you can arrange that?”
It was Maggie’s turn to sigh this time. “Real little smart-arse sometimes, aren’t you?”
“Look, I’m sorry, Mags. I just don’t know what you mean by normality.”
“We mean no scavenging trips, no trips out at all. We eat our meals, do our chores and just have a couple of days with no drama. We lost a lot of people again yesterday. Right now, they’re in the back of one of the box vans that, by the way, is still parked around the back with the other bodies from yesterday. Maybe we should say a few words, have a bit of a service. That’s what’s meant to happen when people die. That’s normality. Gretel lost her mother yesterday, for God’s sake. The poor little kid doesn’t know what’s going on. For her, for everybody, let’s just not plan to do anything other than heal.”
Jules nodded slowly. “You’re right I suppose, as usual. But then we need to sit down and form a plan.”
“Oh, you misunderstand me. The three of us aren’t taking the day off; planning is all we’re going to do.”
“Thought it sounded too good to be true.”
✽ ✽ ✽
They held a service for the fallen and more than a few tears were shed by everyone. Jules did her best to remain composed, but the thought of Ben sacrificing his life for her made her break down as she spoke a few words for him. Everybody lit candles and said their goodbyes, but after the service was over, the candles were all extinguished, rather than being left to burn out. Mary, the kitchen staff and two women, one of whom had been a teacher and the other a teacher’s assistant, kept the youngsters busy in the cafe area with various activities while the rest of the adults carried on with their daily chores.
Jules, George and Maggie all adjourned to the manager’s office upstairs. They sat around the desk; they each drank a toast to the dead and then they got on with the business at hand.
“So, I hope one of you has something, cos I’m all out of ideas.”
Maggie and George looked at each other. “I did some sums,” George said.
“Oh yeah, what kind of sums?” Jules replied.
“First thing, I went with Josh over to next door’s car park and checked the fuel levels in the vehicles.”
“Let me guess. We’ve got enough to get to the moon and back with some to spare.”
George did not smile. “One of the key things we were after during the scavenger missions was fuel, and everywhere we went, we drew a blank. In a few of those vehicles, we’re down to virtually nothing. Now, we could send a team further out, maybe to some of the farms to look for some red diesel, but if they come back empty-handed, that leaves us with even less. It’s a big risk. Plus—” He swallowed hard and desperately tried to control himself.
Jules and Maggie looked at one another. George was very old fashioned, not the kind to get emotional in front of women. Maggie reached her hand out and clasped it around one of his. “What is it?”
“It was my brainwave to send those groups out. If they hadn’t been out there, they wouldn’t have been attacked. In al
l good conscience, I can’t suggest sending anyone out there again.”
“Those people knew what they were doing. They volunteered. There are always risks involved. We had no idea that there was an armed gang out there, how could we?”
“It makes no difference, it was my suggestion, and I feel responsible.”
“Yeah, well, welcome to the club, I’ll get us some T-shirts made. But if you’re saying we shouldn’t go back out there, what the hell are we going to do?”
George looked across to Maggie. “We’ve been talking,” she said.
“Oh yeah, and?”
“I agree; it’s way too dangerous to keep heading out on the off chance that we might find fuel without knowing any real sources for definite.”
“I don’t understand. Just the other day we were all agreed on a plan to get out of here as soon as possible. Get supplies together and head up to Wick or Thurso,” Jules said.
“Yes,” George replied, “but that was dependant on getting fuel and it was before the events of yesterday.”
“So, we just stay here and slowly starve to death?”
“No. We stay here and live,” Maggie replied.
“It’s a sad fact that we lost all those people yesterday, but it does mean that the food supplies will stretch further than they would have,” George said.
“Oh, that’s good. I knew there must have been an upside to seeing that fucking horror show last night. Thirteen good people died, but at least we get their rations now.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, leaning forward and unfolding a piece of paper from his top pocket and flattening it out on the desk.
“What’s that?”
“Plans.”
“Plans for what?”
“To turn the outside portion of the Depot into a smallholding. We’ve got the materials to build three decent-sized polytunnels, and we’ve the space left over to plant plenty of outdoor crops too. The walls will protect it all from the winter winds, and as far as seeds go, we’ve got enough to keep us going for years.”
Before Safe Haven (Book 4): Jules Page 12