by Sue Shepherd
She knew James planned to leave at about ten, and desperately hoped she had time to go and find him before his flight.
Michelle’s bunk was empty, her sheet thrown back, as if in a hurry. Beth could’ve done with some assistance from her friend. A memory nudge would’ve been most helpful.
As she brushed her teeth, she tried to work out what to say. She decided to play it by ear, be vague, try to suss out what her bitch of a sister had done. That seemed to be the best plan.
Walking towards James’s room, Beth fought the nausea. She couldn’t wait to see his handsome face.
Once outside his room, she impatiently knocked on the door.
Miles called out, ‘Come in, if you’re good looking.’
Not entirely sure she qualified, but desperate to be with James, Beth pushed the door.
James’s bed was stripped. His rucksack was gone. All his possessions from around the room were missing.
‘Where is he?’ She knew the answer even as she asked the pointless question.
Miles’s expression revealed his pity. ‘He went early.’
‘NO!’
‘Sorry.’ The poor bloke had clearly been left in an awkward position.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’ll get the bus.’ She started to leave.
‘Wait …’ Miles jumped down from his bunk. ‘He said … well, he said he’s going to go straight through to departures. You won’t be able to follow him without a ticket.’
‘But …?’
‘Perhaps he couldn’t face an emotional goodbye. You know what us men are like.’ He gave a shrug.
Maybe he believed that, he was a gullible bloke. But she didn’t. She knew it was something Lisa had done that had made James choose to leave this way.
She ran back to her room, anxiously hoping Michelle would be there to offer advice. She had to be able to shine some light on what had gone on the night before.
Rushing into their room, Beth found Michelle throwing random possessions into her rucksack. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
‘I have to go.’
‘Go where? I need to ask you something, and ‒’
‘I have to go home.’
What’s going on? Why is everyone of importance running out on me? ‘What are you on about, Michelle?’
‘I got called to the office. My mum’s had a fall. It’s bad. Her pelvis is all messed up.’
‘A fall?’
‘Yeah, well, more of a trip actually. She tripped on a bloody kerb, can you believe it?’
‘But … can’t someone else take care of her. You have aunties, cousins …’
Michelle ceased her frantic packing. ‘Beth, she’s my mum.’
‘Yeah, but she’s …’
‘I know what she is. She’s an old cow. She’s a battle-axe. She’s stuck-up. I know she’s all of those things. But she’s also my mum, and she’s broken her pelvis. I should go to her. You do understand?’
‘Of course.’ If Beth was honest, if that was her mum or nanna, she’d be packing with just as much haste.
Michelle began to cry. ‘She’ll be giving those nurses hell. I’ll bet the entire hospital staff hate her already.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true.’ Beth tried her hardest to sound convincing.
‘She slipped on an icy kerb, just outside our house. It’s weird to think it’s cold back in England, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Your mum helped her. They might not be best mates, but thankfully your parents drove past and saw her lying on the pavement. They came to her rescue.’
‘Really?’ Beth experienced a surge of pride.
‘Yes. Apparently, your dad kicked our front door in.’
‘Bloody hell! Why? Didn’t your mum have a key?’
‘Of course. But your dad got a bit carried away. You know how he panics. Then your mum said she mustn’t be moved anyway, and made her comfortable in the street while they waited for the ambulance.’
Beth couldn’t help wondering just how many ambulances were going to be called to Tennison Avenue. ‘I hope Dad fixed the door?’
‘I’m sure he did.’
It took less than a second for Beth to reach a decision. ‘I’ll come with you.’
Michelle shook her head. ‘No way. You still have the rest of the trip to do.’
‘Sod that!’
‘I mean it. We were going to visit the Gold Coast and the Reef, then there’s Cairns. You have to see it all, for both of us.’
‘I can’t do it on my own.’
‘Of course, you can. Look at how much you’ve changed since you got with James.’
At the mention of James’s name, Beth’s stomach flipped. ‘Oh God!’
‘What?’
‘He’s gone, Michelle.’
‘Gone?’
‘Left early for the airport.’
‘Why the hell would he do that?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What happened between you two last night?’
Beth shook her head. ‘I kind of don’t know that either.’
‘How can you not know that? Beth, you’re not making any sense.’
Deciding there was no point in them both stressing about James, Beth chose to leave that subject. Once she was alone she could interrogate Lisa, but for now, she needed to focus on Michelle. ‘Look, don’t worry about him, OK? I’ll catch up with him in England, like you said. For now, we need to decide if I’m coming or going.’
‘So, you swapped addresses?’
‘I … um.’ Her heart sank as she realised she had absolutely no idea if James knew her address. Lisa, if I could get my hands on you! ‘Yeah. I think so.’
‘You think so?’
‘Michelle!’ She held her hand up to halt the conversation. ‘Am I coming home with you or not?’
‘Not.’
‘Are you sure? You’ll be OK on the journey?’
‘Of course. I just need to be with Mum.’
‘I understand. But I can’t imagine being in Australia without you. You made it special.’
‘Just me?’
‘Well, you and …’ She didn’t want to give James the acknowledgement. ‘Anyway, I’ll see you as soon as I get back. We’ll always have our memories of Bondi, won’t we?’
‘Yes, of course. We’ve been through so much.’ Michelle laughed quietly to herself.
‘What are you laughing at?’
‘Your face. Right back at the beginning. Your poor face!’
‘Yeah, I know!’
‘You looked horrific. It was a full-time job not to show you how scared I was.’
‘Well, you did OK. I never worked out at the time that it was serious.’
‘Well, it was …’ Michelle hesitated. ‘Beth?’
‘Uh huh?’
‘Are you sure you gave James your address?’
Beth clutched the edge of the bunk beds. ‘I’m positive I would’ve done.’
‘What does that even mean?’
‘It means I can’t entirely remember. I don’t honestly know where I stand with him.’
‘He loves you. I know he does.’
‘Michelle, he left me.’
‘Yes, but …’
The receptionist from the hostel poked her head around the door. ‘Sorry girls. The airline are on the phone for you, Michelle. They need to speak to you to confirm your change of flight for today.’
‘Thanks. I’ll be right there.’
As Michelle made to leave, Beth grabbed her. ‘I can’t be in Australia without you. I don’t know where to go, what to do next, I can’t be in charge!’
‘You’ll be fine. Just take all the paperwork and my guidebook.’
‘I’m not brave enough to ‒’
‘You are. You really are. You’re all grown up.’ Michelle kissed the top of her friend’s head before dashing towards reception.
Twenty-five
With a change of plan, Beth de
cided not to give her sister the satisfaction of asking for details of James’s last night. It hurt like hell that Lisa knew something she didn’t, but she was sure Lisa had slept with him again, she simply must have done, and Beth couldn’t bring herself to listen to all the details. Lisa must know why he’d left the way he did, there was no doubt about that either. But again, begging for the reason would simply show how much she cared.
She chose to go with a dignified silence, and it was three days before the twins spoke to each other. When they did, their relationship was even more strained than usual. Nothing was mentioned about James’s last night. Beth took the tiniest amount of pleasure from knowing how much it must be bugging her sister not to be asked.
The hostel became a ghost town. Not meaning it was deserted, it was, of course, still buzzing with life. No, it was a ghost town because, wherever Beth went, she saw ghosts of the past. She couldn’t walk into the kitchen without expecting to see Michelle poaching eggs. She couldn’t sit in the garden without listening out for James’s voice as he came home from work. She knew her time was up. For good or ill, she needed to complete the journey without Michelle. And that meant travelling alone on an overnight bus.
Her first stop was along the Gold Coast. The mere process of getting herself packed and leaving the Bondi hostel was monumental. She’d learnt a lot whilst there. She’d almost become a different person. Almost … but not quite.
Checking several times that she was in the right place to catch the bus, Beth read and re-read the guide book. Her hesitance was driving Lisa to distraction.
‘Why the fuck don’t you just admit you can’t do this, and let me out?’
‘I can do it. I’m just looking at ‒’
‘You’ve checked the bus timetable that many times, you’ve practically worn it out. We’re in the right place. It’s the right time.’
‘I know! I just need to be sure ‒’
‘Your ticket is in the front pocket of your rucksack.’
‘I know that too. Shut up, Lisa.’
‘When we get there, I think you should let me out. I’ll be better at making new friends.’
‘Forget it.’
‘Why?’
‘Are you seriously asking me that question?’
‘Do I have to remind you James has gone? I can’t do any more harm.’
‘No, you don’t have to remind me.’ Beth took a deep breath, determined not to weaken and beg Lisa for more information. ‘But … just because he’s not here, does not mean that you can’t cause harm.’
Deep down she knew she was punishing Lisa for taking away her last night with James. It was a small triumph, but a triumph nonetheless. In fact, she would’ve loved someone else to organise her, and help her to make new friends. Without Michelle, she was more nervous than the day she’d first arrived in Australia. But there was no way she was letting Lisa back in control. Who knew what she’d get up to? Her body could be used for all kinds of awful things. With no concern for the consequences, Lisa would be an absolute liability if allowed in charge.
Beth struggled on, alone. She made it onto the right bus and travelled up to the Gold Coast. Again, she faced the dilemma of which forceful, tanned man she should allow to grab her rucksack, and whisk her away to a hostel. As before, the decision was made for her by the sheer strength of the winning contestant.
She spent a few days in a hostel that was not dissimilar to the one she’d called home for the last couple of months. The main difference being her best friend and the man she’d seriously thought she was in love with, were absent. She visited the beach every day. Smothering her delicate face in factor 50, she reminisced about the times spent on Bondi Beach with Michelle. In the evenings, she chose not to go out. It was clear there was a great night life. She heard many a group of people returning from clubs or bars, singing and calling out to each other. She wished with all her heart that she was brave enough to ask to join them. But without Michelle it was simply an impossibility. At night, she lay in her bunk thinking about James. Remembering how he made her body feel. Longing for his touch. Wishing he was with her. In the middle of one of these medleys, she’d remember the fact that Lisa had slept with him too, and he had left without a goodbye. This caused her to question over and over how he could have not realised that the person he was making love to wasn’t her. Did he not know her at all?
Lisa moaned often that she was bored, and that Beth was not taking advantage of everything that was on offer. But Beth ignored her. It was torture being angry at a person she couldn’t walk away from. As far as she was concerned, they’d reached a stalemate. Lisa refused to apologise for what she’d done, she obviously felt it was her right. She probably considered she’d earned it by being locked up for so long, and it was clear she was never going to volunteer the information Beth craved.
From Beth’s point of view, she was determined never to ask. To give Lisa that kind of power would be a terrible idea. Unfortunately, the effort of maintaining the stance that she didn’t care one bit why her boyfriend had left without so much as a backwards glance, was nearly killing her.
Beth left the hostel on the Gold Coast without having made a single friend. The next bus she caught was headed to The Great Barrier Reef. Back at home, she and Michelle had pored over pictures of the reef, and chatted with great anticipation about visiting it. Michelle had planned to try scuba diving, but Beth had been hesitant. She’d explained to her friend that the thought of being trapped underwater terrified her. Michelle had been kind, declaring maybe it might suit Beth to simply snorkel or have a bit of a swim. They’d been really looking forward to all the beautiful sea life they were going to see. Now, Beth was alone, and if the Gold Coast was anything to go by, the next stop was going to be very lonely indeed.
She was amazed at the amount of time they travelled in a straight line. There were very few turnings to navigate. Once the coach was on the right road, there it stayed for mile after mile after mile.
The gentle rhythm of the coach sent Beth off into a dreamless sleep. The next thing she knew, four hours had passed, and the coach was stopping.
It was some ridiculous time in the morning. She squinted at her watch, wishing the stupid thing had numbers. Almost 3 a.m.!
The driver made an announcement. ‘We won’t be here long. Grab a drink and get yourselves something to eat if you want. No hot food though. It’s not allowed on the coach. We’re having a quick comfort stop. I mean it, guys, there’s no time for hot food.’ Even though he repeated this several times, Beth still spotted a few of her fellow travellers buying pies and trying their hardest to shovel them down before they re-boarded. Fortunately, she didn’t make the mistake of buying a hot drink that would spill in her lap or one of the pies that seemed popular. Don’t they know it’s the middle of the night? She chose to buy a simple chocolate bar and a screw top drink. After this, she had just enough time to pop to the loo.
As she re-boarded the coach, and made her way down the central aisle, she thought she heard a man’s voice shout, ‘Beth!’
She looked around, but saw no one she recognised. Figuring she’d heard wrong, she completed the walk to her seat, and made herself comfortable. She was wondering whether to unwrap her chocolate bar or save it for later, when she heard, ‘Beth! Beth Campbell is that you?’
This time there was no mistake.
Twenty-six
It was impossible to see who was calling her name. Beth thought it might be someone who’d known her in Bondi. But even as she thought it, she knew it couldn’t be. They rarely used surnames at the hostel, she doubted anyone would know hers.
There seemed nothing to do but wait. She examined all the men as they boarded the coach and pushed their way past her, down the central aisle. Not one face was the least bit familiar. Until, at last, she saw him. He was almost the last person to climb aboard. Twinkly blue eyes and a daft grin. Could it be?
‘Beth, is that you? Did you hear me calling?’
‘Yes, I heard. But
‒’
‘It’s me. Charlie Morris!’ He waved a half-eaten pie in the air.
‘Charlie. You look ‒’
‘Bigger?’ he volunteered.
‘Yes. And … more ‒’
‘Grown up?’
‘I guess so. It’s been ‒’
‘Years?’
‘Are you going to let me finish at least one of my own sentences sometime soon?’
Charlie gave a huge snort, startling a few of the passengers. ‘I might do.’
‘You wally!’ Beth couldn’t help it. It just slipped out.
Fortunately, he found it funny. ‘Right back at you, Campbell.’ He gestured towards the seat next to her. ‘Can I ‒?’
‘Sit there?’ She finished his sentence for a change. ‘Of course. It’s empty.’
‘Cheers, I was sat up the back before. Don’t know how I didn’t spot you sooner.’
As Charlie sat, Beth gazed at him. Wanting to get a good look. ‘You’ve not changed much.’
‘I bloody well have.’ He stuck out his chin. ‘Look at my masculine jaw.’
‘Well, yeah, but ‒’
‘And my beard.’
‘Beard?’
‘What would you call it, then?’
‘Bum fluff, at best.’
‘Cheek!’ He took a bite of his pie. ‘Jeez, these things are hot.’
‘You do know you weren’t supposed to bring them on here, don’t you?’
‘Same old Beth.’ Charlie grinned.
So, the coach journey that had previously stretched ahead of her, like an interminably dreary nightmare, with only Lisa for company, quickly became an ideal opportunity to catch up with her old friend. Beth was instantly relaxed with Charlie. They talked through the night, about all manner of things. He told her about his TEFL course at college, whilst she attempted to make her short career as a hairdresser’s apprentice sound exciting. He asked if she was still friends with Michelle, and, after explaining that her trip had originally included her, until she’d been forced to leave early, due to her mum’s pelvis, Beth regaled him with stories of all the things he’d missed.
He laughed raucously at the one about the temporary tattoos. ‘Oh God, I bloody love your nanna!’