Hargittai frowned. “Don’t speak of her in that way. She could be our next Grand Dame.”
Celestine bared her teeth. “Not with Michael as her lover. He is a murderer of the worst kind, Hargittai. It is why he is an outcast, why his face has been branded. Ask him, if you ever meet, what a child tastes like. He is only one of a few who could tell you.”
Keeli twitched. Michael could not bring himself to meet her gaze, to see the expression in her eyes when she realized it was the truth.
Hargittai stared. “You’re lying.”
Celestine pulled away. “I only ever lied to you about one thing. The rest … the rest was always the truth.”
He lunged after her, but she slapped him away, the sound of her palm striking his face ringing dull in the night air. It was the last word; Celestine turned and walked away. Hargittai watched her go.
Michael rose into the air. Keeli said, “Is it true?”
“It’s complicated,” he said.
“Tell me,” she said, and there was steel in her voice, daggers in her eyes. Danger, his heart whispered, but it was too late. She needed the truth.
“Let’s get you dry and warm first,” he said, stalling.
They did not talk as he flew them back to his apartment. The silence hurt. All the warmth between them had fled, and he felt like screaming.
He landed in the middle of his roses and set Keeli gently on her feet. He made her wait while he jimmied his window open and climbed inside. He checked the closet and bathroom. The apartment was empty; his belongings undisturbed. The briefcase full of money was still where he had left it.
“Can I come in?” Her voice was cold, distant.
“Yes.”
As she climbed through the window, he added. “Someone watched me today from the fire escape. I don’t know who, but I felt him there. He broke a rose.”
He was talking to fill the silence, but Keeli paused, and shut the window behind her. She locked it and pulled down the shade. Turned around, her arms wrapped around her stomach, her face too pale beneath the shock of pink hair.
“Now,” she said. Her eyes were liquid and huge.
“I was alone,” he said immediately. “I was hungry and tired. My family no longer welcomed me. One more mouth to feed and I was almost grown, so they sent me out. I traveled for years, looking for odd work. Traveled north, into what is now Russia, and from there I wondered into Europe. A lone, lost, starving oddity. And then one night a man came to me. He called himself Malachai. He was rich and he gave me food. And when I was sated and ready to listen, he told me how I could be just like him. Wealthy. Powerful. Immortal.” Michael swallowed hard, trying to speak in a voice louder than a whisper. It was difficult. “Malachai told me he was a vampire, and that it was an easy thing to become. So easy. So I did it. I had nothing to lose.”
Keeli sat down on Michael’s bed. After a moment, she rubbed the space beside her. He hesitated, but finally sat on the edge of the sagging mattress. He could not bring himself to look at her.
“I don’t remember much of what happened after he made me. I do know that I spent a very long time chained inside a hole. Buried alive. Malachai starved me, and when I was almost past the point of no return, he started feeding me blood in miniscule amounts. Not enough to give me strength, but more than enough to drive me into a frenzy.”
“He turned you into an animal,” Keeli said quietly.
“Yes,” Michael said, sinking back into memory. “And when he was ready to be entertained, he released me in the middle of solitary families. Sometimes, even, villages. I could not be fought or reasoned with. I was insane.”
“So you … ate children.”
“I did.” Michael forced himself to look at Keeli. There was no pity in her gaze, but no hate, either. “I make no excuses for my crime.”
“Good.” She wrapped her fingers around his hand and squeezed. “How did you escape?”
Michael forced himself to breathe. “I finally remembered who I was, and when I remembered, I found my control. I turned on Malachai and killed him.”
She touched his cheek, the golden tattoo. “What happened afterward?”
He covered her hand. “Elders found me. I told them everything. Everything that had been done to me, everything I had done to others. I knew nothing about being a vampire, except how to kill, but they … forgave me my crimes. Malachai had a reputation for cruelty, and there were those—including Celestine—who also suffered under him.”
“And no one ever punished him?”
“At that time, vampires rarely punished their own. And … Malachai was old. Older than most. Everyone was afraid of him.”
“And this?” She looked at the tattoo.
“My punishment. If I had not killed Malachai, perhaps things would have been different. Perhaps they would have … accepted me. Like they accepted Celestine, and the others he made and then abused. But I did kill him, and after he was gone, the elders had no excuse to give themselves when vampires went out of control and killed indiscriminately. So they marked me as a reminder to everyone else, and then they made me Vendix, the first Vendix. They said I was well-suited to it.”
“Well-suited.” Keeli shook her head. Michael watched her hands, small and white, clench into tight fists. She bounced them on her thighs. “How could they do that to you?”
“They were right,” he said, catching her hand. He slid down to the floor, and she slid with him, leaning hard against his shoulder. “I blamed them all for what was done to me. I looked for any excuse to punish. I was … cruel.”
“And now?” She pressed herself closer.
“I’m older,” he said quietly. “And I got tired of hating everyone.”
Keeli sighed. She wrapped her fingers tight around his hand. “I’m glad you told me.”
“I knew I would have to, eventually. I was afraid of your reaction.”
She smiled bitterly. “If you had told me when we first met, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“What changed?”
“I have no idea,” Keeli said. “I don’t know how I got to this point. When I’m with you, my heart feels bigger. I think I could forgive you almost anything. Or maybe I’m just fucked up.” She gave him a hard look. “Don’t push your luck.”
“I would not dream of it.” Michael smoothed back her damp hair, looking deep into her eyes. “And you? How are you, Keeli?”
She lowered her gaze. “I’m bad, Michael.”
“You are spoiled,” he said lightly, though his heart tightened, aching for her. Keeli stared, and he could tell she was trying to decide whether or not he was teasing. He added, “Your grandmother raised you gently, with love. That is what you expected. You’ve been spoiled on that love. So, the one time when she is not gentle—when she loves you with pain—it hurts more because it is not what you are used to.”
“Michael, the woman brutalized me. She broke my breastbone. She locked me in my room. She was going to keep me from you.”
“I’m not defending her,” he said. “I just … I do not want you to hold on to your anger or your hurt. I understand those things and they won’t help you, Keeli. They will only damage you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t need a lecture.”
“I’m not giving you one,” he said, hardening his voice. “But what your grandmother did to you was gentle. When I was a child and disobeyed my father, he took a whip to my back until I bled, and then made me sleep outside in the snow without a blanket. I would spend the night freezing, terrified that not only would I die from the cold, but that the wolves would smell my bleeding back and try to eat me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” Keeli half-joked. “You probably deserved it.”
Michael didn’t laugh. “Maybe. But don’t you think your grandmother’s actions should be forgiven? Didn’t you tell me she had a good reason to be afraid for your safety?”
Keeli was quiet for such a long time, Michael was not entirely sure she would tell him. But then
she rubbed her arms and said, “When I was a child my father made his bid for Alpha of another clan. You have to understand, that was highly unusual, but not unheard of. The problem was that my father had a lot of enemies. He was a gambler, of sorts. With his body.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He liked to fight. Cage games. He was a betting man, and he almost always won. Made people angry. Jealous. My grandmother tried to rein him in—his actions reflected badly on her—but Dad liked the money. He liked being able to buy my mom and I nice things. He liked that he could make us secure. I think, sometimes, that his bid for Alpha was just another way for him to do that. To keep us safe with power instead of money.”
“It did not work,” Michael murmured.
“They came for us,” Keeli whispered. “The Tepper wolves. Their Alpha and his men. There was already bad blood, but making that bid was more than they could take. So they came, and there were no guards or locked doors because we were supposed to be safe, all of us in the underground, safe from each other, and at first they just wanted to talk, and then that was not enough, and so they killed. They killed everyone, Michael. I was the only one who survived. My grandmother saved my life.”
Michael fought for his voice. “What happened to the murderers?”
“They were executed,” she said softly. “They were not even given the dignity of their human bodies in death. My grandmother said that as they killed, so should they die. As animals.”
“That bothers you.”
“Everything about my family’s death bothers me, but yes. Yes. At the time I didn’t know any better, but when I got older I decided it was wrong. Wrong that those men should have died that way.”
“Why?”
“Because that could be me.” She turned her stricken gaze on him. “When I lose myself to rage, to the wolf, I am just like those men. Worse, even.”
“No,” Michael said, pulling her tight against him. “No, you are not. I have not known you long, Keeli, but there are truths I can see, and one of them is your strength. Your sense of right and wrong. You are too strong to ever lose yourself like that, to ever submit so completely to the wolf that those around you become nothing more than food.”
“You had to stop me from killing that rapist.”
“But you knew what he was,” Michael reminded her, desperate for her to understand the distinction. “You were aware, and when you had to, you stopped. You stopped, Keeli. And not just then. I heard your clan talking. I know you could have killed that Alpha. You did not.”
“I got lucky. So did Leroux.”
“It has nothing to do with luck. You do not embrace your rage. You use it as a tool. There is a difference, Keeli.”
She sagged against him. “Maybe. I don’t want to think about it anymore, though. I’m so tired.”
“You’ve barely slept since we met,” he said, rising to his feet. He dragged Keeli up with him and began undressing her. “To be warm and clean. That is what you need.”
“I need you,” she said, reaching for him.
“You have me,” he said.
They did not talk again for quite some time.
Keeli fell asleep in Michael’s arms. She dreamed of wolves wearing vampire skins, zipping on flesh like a coat, or armor. She dreamed she wore Michael’s body, and that it felt good and warm. She woke with his arms still curled around her body, her back tucked against his stomach. His lips brushed her neck.
“Hargittai,” she said, after a moment.
“Celestine,” he answered, following her thoughts.
Keeli tasted the memory. “That was … bizarre.”
“Yes.” Michael tugged Keeli around so she faced him. “I’ve known Celestine for a very long time. She has never spoken a kind word about werewolves. I thought she was a terrible choice for these negotiations.”
“She’s the one who beat you up, right?” She smiled when Michael grimaced. “It’s okay, you know. Getting beat up by girls.”
Michael closed his eyes. “Perhaps you would like to knock me around some more?” His hands trailed down her back and he cupped her tight against his body. Keeli reached down between them, slowly brushing her fingers through thick curls until she found him. Michael sighed.
“So we’re not alone in this,” Keeli whispered. She kissed his neck.
Michael’s fingers trailed fire along her hip. He worked them up her inner thigh, into her soft cleft. “Perhaps not,” he said, as Keeli clenched her teeth. “Though I would like to believe we will do better than Celestine and Hargittai.”
“Much better,” Keeli promised. “I won’t abandon you, Michael.”
His eyes darkened, became gentle, soft. Hungry. He removed his hand and pressed his body against her. She felt him, hard, and she guided him all the way, sucking in her breath at his still-new weight and size. Yet, when she was full and ready, he did not move. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, simply holding her—inside and out—as they rested on their sides, embraced by the moment and each other.
“I am going to take care of you,” he promised, and she felt his words thrill through her body. She had never wanted anyone to take care of her, but with Michael it felt safe, right and good. She took in those words and did not want to cringe.
“I love you,” she said, because it was time, and she could not deny it to herself any longer.
“Keeli,” sighed Michael. “Do you remember that moment, when you were in handcuffs and I was in the air above you? Our eyes met.”
“I remember, but I hope that’s not going to be your only response to what I just said.”
“That is when I fell in love with you. That moment.”
“Oh,” she breathed, and Michael began moving, rocking within the cradle of her arms and legs. Exquisite agony; making love with Michael was like building a mystery within her body. She did not know herself until that moment, and with each touch, every stretch and pull, she learned more, more—
“Taste me,” she gasped, looking deep into his startled eyes. “I want to know what it feels like.”
He was so close; she could feel it in the rock-hard tension of his shoulders, the careful strain of his hips. She guided his head to her neck and felt his mouth press hot against her skin. “Please,” she whispered. “Trust yourself.”
He bit her. At first there was pain—bright, quick—but Keeli made no sound as she sank into the sensation of his mouth softly pulling on her body. And then he shuddered, thrusting hard, harder, again and again, and he pulled his mouth away from her neck to gasp her name. She clutched him tight against her body so he would not slip away, her legs winding like snakes. She felt his seed, wet on her thighs, and remembered, once again, that they had forgotten to use a condom.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, stirring against her.
“For what?”
“You didn’t …” His voice trailed off.
His consternation made her laugh. “Great sex doesn’t always have to end in an orgasm, you know.”
“It seems unfair,” he said, though his mouth hinted at a smile. His lips were stained red.
Keeli touched them. “How was I?”
She saw the answer in his dark eyes, heard it in the shallow quick breath. She touched her neck and felt the puncture wounds. Her fingertips came away clean.
“My saliva coagulates the blood,” he said softly. He licked his lips. “You tasted good, Keeli. Maybe too good.”
“You going to start taking midnight snacks?” she said lightly. He did not smile.
“Your blood is in me now. It will be hard to resist.”
“I love it when you talk dirty.”
He rolled his eyes. She laughed, and kissed him.
Someone knocked on the door. Keeli froze against Michael’s body. The lock jiggled. The bolt slid back.
Michael sprang out of bed, a blur. He reached the door just as it opened and then there were bodies on the ground; shouts and cries, and Michael standing with a dagger in one hand and a head full of
hair in the other.
“Fuck,” Richard groaned, his throat exposed to the blade.
Keeli flopped back on the bed, burying her face under the pillows.
Michael released Richard. Suze climbed to her feet.
“You scared the shit out of me,” she said, breathing hard.
“Good,” Keeli said, her voice muffled. “Why are you here and how did you find us?”
Richard and Suze glanced at each other. Keeli heard Michael sigh, and she watched him get a briefcase from the kitchen. He handed it to the teens.
“This is a lot of money,” he said, “but it will go fast. Try to spend it wisely.”
Richard and Suze looked at each other again. Suze said, “You’re really going to give us five thousand dollars? You look like you need it more than we do.”
“I’m old. I have unique skills. You’re young and uneducated. Trust me, you need it more.”
Keeli sat up. “How much money are you giving them, and why?”
“We helped,” Richard said, but he still had not touched the briefcase. He looked embarrassed.
“Oh. Thank you,” Keeli said, suddenly remembering what Michael had told her. “I … I really appreciate it.”
Suze stared at her feet. “Yeah, whatever.”
Michael still held out the money. “Do you want this?”
Suze’s head flew up. “Well, duh. But we didn’t come just for the money. We thought you guys might be here. We wanted to warn you.”
Keeli wrapped the sheet around her body and stood up. “Warn us about what?”
“Your grandmother,” Richard said. “She’s gone ape-shit. Real nuts. When she found out that you had escaped, and that your fang here had been trying to get into the tunnels, she wanted to send Trackers out.”
“Shit.”
Michael looked at her. “Trackers?”
“They’re usually reserved for criminals—ferals and exiles who need to be brought in for control. Judgment.” Keeli’s throat burned. “If she brings me in like that, she’ll discredit me in front of all the clans. No one will ever respect or trust me.”
“She smelled scared,” Suze said, quiet.
“Pissed off,” Richard corrected her.
A Taste of Crimson Page 23