as dog collar as expected
as oboes as anyone
as umbrella as catch can
as penmanship as it gets
as narcosis as could be
as hit parade as all that
as icebox as far as I know
as fax machine as one can imagine
as cyclones as hoped
as dictionary as you like
as shadow as promised
as drinking fountain as well
as grassfire as myself
as mirror as is
as never as this
Xenophobic Nightmare in a Foreign Language
waking up with Enrique Chagoya
Whereas, in the opinion of the Government of the United States the coming of bitter labor to this country endangers the good order of certain localities within the territory thereof:
Therefore, be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,
That from and after the expiration of ninety days next after the passage of this act, and until the expiration of ten years next after the passage of this act, the coming of bitter labor to the United States be, and the same is hereby, suspended; and during such suspension it shall not be lawful for any bitter labor to come, or, having so come after the expiration of said ninety days, to remain within the United States.
That the master of any vessel who shall knowingly bring within the United States on such vessel, and land or permit to be landed, any bitter labor, from any foreign port or place, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and on conviction thereof shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars for each and every such bitter labor so brought, and may be also imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.
That any person who shall knowingly bring into or cause to be brought into the United States by land, or who shall knowingly aid or abet the same, or aid or abet the landing in the United States from any vessel of any bitter labor not lawfully entitled to enter the United States, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and shall, on conviction thereof, be fined in a sum not exceeding one thousand dollars, and imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.
That no bitter labor shall be permitted to enter the United States by land without producing to the proper officer of customs the certificate in this act required of bitter labor seeking to land from a vessel. And any bitter labor found unlawfully within the United States shall be caused to be removed therefrom to the country from whence they came, by direction of the United States, after being brought before some justice, judge, or commissioner of a court of the United States and found to be not lawfully entitled to be or remain in the United States.
May 6, 1882
X-ray Vision
You don’t need X-ray vision to see through me.
No super power’s required to penetrate my defense.
Without listening to your mother’s rant
you can tell that my motives are transparent.
A sturdy intuition could give you
the strong impression that my logic is flimsy.
Before the flat lady sang the first note of the book,
you knew that my story was thin.
Zen Acorn
for Bob Kaufman
a frozen
indian acorn
a frozen
indiana corn
afro zen
indian acorn
afro zen
indiana corn
a zen fro
in diana corn
frozen fan
in zero canadian
indian corn for
arizona nonradiance
a narco dozen
faze an african
Zombie Hat
Greatest thing since Texas toast,
the ever-popular zombie hat
flies off the shelf
like sandwich loaf.
For your tête-à-tête
with a headhunter, or chat with a shrink,
zombie hat’s the right think.
You’ll look like a hero
in your zombie sombrero.
Don’t forget to wear your hat.
It’s what the head cheese ordered, stat.
Statistics show the zombie hat
helps to maintain social stasis.
With the right fit,
you’ll brim with social graces.
We recommend it for all our head cases.
Meet every problem head on,
so long as you keep a lid on.
Designer: Nola Burger
Compositor: BookMatters, Berkeley
Text: 11/16 Fournier
Display: Univers Condensed Light
Printer and binder: Rose Printing Company, Inc.
Sleeping with the Dictionary Page 5