by Jody Hedlund
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the sheriff and Reinhold lead Liverpool away at his father’s instructions. He wanted to go to the young man and try to talk to him, but even if he’d been able to break away from the crowds of people around him, he knew the boy wouldn’t want to see him today—maybe never. But that didn’t mean Drew planned to give up on him.
The thought took him by surprise. Could he give up on any of these children?
Families loaded into their wagons and began to roll away. Eventually only a few lingered. Drew finally went to George and Peter, hugged them tight, then handed them over into the capable hands of their new parents. It took only a moment of watching the boys interact with the couple for satisfaction to settle into his soul.
“They’ve found a good home, haven’t they?” Marianne asked.
He nodded in reply and stared after their wagon bumping over ruts, the two boys in the back bouncing up and down with it.
From where Drew stood outside in the shade of the church building, he’d known she’d been nearby. All throughout the greetings after the trial, he was conscious of her presence, heard her laughter and felt himself drawn to her, though he’d tried not to stare. Now that most of the people were gone, part of him was dying to talk to her, but the other part was afraid.
“I thought the trial went well,” she said. “Your father is brilliant.”
“You are too.” He meant it.
She smiled shyly and shook her head. “No, it was nothing—”
“It was everything.” His chest swelled with the realization of what she’d accomplished by bringing in the children. Their testimonies about all he’d done for them might not have granted him freedom from the murder conviction, but it had given him freedom in a different way—a way he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe in hearing all the many things he’d done right and done well, he could shift his focus off the one thing he’d done wrong.
“It must have been a lot of work to get everyone here the way you did,” he said.
She shrugged. “You would have done the same for me if I’d needed it.”
Even in the heat of the July afternoon, she was beautiful. Her long lashes rose off her cheeks, and he found himself falling into her eyes, falling and tumbling and falling until he was nearly breathless with his need for her.
“Thank you,” he whispered and lifted a hand to brush a wisp of hair back behind her ear. He stopped himself at the same time she stepped back. Again she ducked her head almost apologetically.
He didn’t blame her. After all, the last words he’d spoken to her were to go away and marry Reinhold. He’d been rude and cold, and yet she’d worked tirelessly to help him. He’d been right before. He wasn’t worthy of her. But that didn’t stop him from wanting her anyway.
“What will you do now?” she asked. “Or is it too soon to know?”
Before he could formulate an answer, his father clapped him on the shoulder and held out a hand toward Marianne. “Good work in there, Miss Neumann.”
She shook his father’s hand. “Thank you. Same to you.”
“Your ploy to gain sympathy for Andrew was perfect—”
“It wasn’t a ploy,” she interrupted. “It was an intentional effort not only to help Drew see how much of a difference he’s making, but also to help you understand your son, to hopefully give you a glimpse of what a loving, dedicated, and godly man you’ve raised.”
His father smiled but with a hint of condescension. “Yes, I see that—”
“And I hope you also see how hardworking and tireless he is in his efforts to better the lives of these homeless children. He’s touched many lives, and they’re better because of it.”
His father fumbled for a response, and inwardly Drew smiled. He rarely saw his father speechless, and he wanted to savor the moment. But his satisfaction was cut short when Reinhold called Marianne’s name from across the street.
She waved a hand at him, and he began jogging toward them, his strength evident in every rippling muscle. When he stepped next to Marianne, close enough for his arm to brush against hers, Drew couldn’t keep from tensing.
He wanted to tell Reinhold to move away from her, but when he lifted his gaze to meet Reinhold’s direct one, Reinhold pierced him with both accusation and anger. The burly German man slipped an arm behind Marianne’s shoulders as though to claim his possession—the treasure Drew had handed over to him on a silver platter and practically begged him to take.
Marianne didn’t move into Reinhold’s embrace, but neither did she resist it. Drew had to look away or he feared he’d put his shoulder down and plow into Reinhold to force him away.
The truth was, Drew didn’t have any claim on Marianne. She was Reinhold’s now. The sheriff had made a point of letting him know Reinhold had proposed and that Marianne had accepted. And now Drew had no right to step between them—perhaps he never had.
The other truth was, even if Marianne had been free, Drew still didn’t deserve her. Maybe he’d felt some peace today, maybe the children’s affirmation had brought about the start of healing, but he still had a long way to go. And he didn’t want to drag Marianne into his confusion and guilt.
He had to stick with his earlier conviction to walk away from her. He couldn’t go back on that now. No matter how hard it would be. When a few minutes later she left with Reinhold, he had to physically hold himself back from going after her.
“You did the right thing in letting her go,” his father said next to him.
“I know you don’t think she’s good enough for me.” Each word came out low and clipped, and Drew’s fingers tightened into fists. “But you have it wrong. I’m not good enough for her. And that’s why I’m letting her go.”
His father squeezed his shoulder again as though they were the best of companions. “I know you care about her, but she wouldn’t fit into life in the South. You’d only make her miserable by bringing her into a way of living that’s foreign to her.”
Drew shook off his father’s hand with a shrug. “I want you to know I appreciate you coming here and helping me to make sense of this situation. You’ve forced me to begin putting it into perspective. I see that now.”
“Good—”
“But I’m not going back home.”
“Sure you are. I’ve already purchased your train ticket. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
“If I ever come home, it will be to visit, not to stay.” Drew couldn’t bear to see the disappointment creasing his father’s forehead. He didn’t want to be the cause of his father’s frustration once again, but perhaps that was his father’s issue to deal with now and not his.
He peered down the street in the direction Reinhold and Marianne had gone. Reinhold was opening the hotel door for Marianne, and she stepped inside. His chest tensed, yet he took a deep breath and tried to think of anything but her. “I’m not sure what my plans are. But this time I promise I won’t run away without telling you where I am. I’ll let you know once I decide what I’m going to do.”
His father was silent for a long moment. Too long. And when Drew dared to meet his gaze again, he saw sadness but also something else he’d always craved yet had never gained. Acceptance. Was his father finally accepting him for who he was and not the man he wanted him to be?
“You’re good with the kids,” his father said slowly.
The words brought a lump to Drew’s throat, and he could only manage a tight “Thank you.”
His father nodded, reached out to shake his hand, and then at the last minute, when Drew had stuck out his hand in return, his father hooked him into an embrace.
It was a quick hug, but it was a start. When they stood back from each other, Drew felt a new respect for his father, and he sensed his father’s new respect for him too. Whatever the future would bring, he needed to trust that God was in control and that He would continue to loosen the chains that had bound him for far too long.
Chapter 25
Marianne stared out the open window at the nigh
t sky as she’d begun to do whenever she couldn’t fall asleep, which had been quite often lately. The cooler breeze soothed her hot skin, and the quietness of the sleeping town eased the tension from her body.
She breathed in deeply of the humid air that contained the now-familiar scents of farmland—the earthiness of plowed soil and the sweetness of clover. She would miss it when she returned to New York City. But one day, soon enough, she’d be back and begin her life as a farmer’s wife.
She folded her arms across her chest and sighed. She wasn’t frightened, she told herself. She would adjust to being a farmer’s wife, including all the responsibilities that came with it. After visiting the orphans who’d been placed at farms, she’d witnessed a variety of tasks women were expected to do, such as preserve berries, churn butter, and much more. She didn’t know much about any of it, but somehow she’d learn. She had no choice.
“Marianne, is that you?”
She glanced down to find Drew standing beneath her window, still wearing the fancy suit from the trial, except the bow tie was gone, the collar was open, and the buttons loosened.
Against her will, her heart thrilled to see him. “What are you doing out at this time of night?”
“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk and clear my head.”
He wasn’t wearing a hat, and the moonlight hit his face revealing strong lines and the tautness in his jaw. He was the most handsome man she’d ever met.
“Come down and join me,” he whispered loudly.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
For a million reasons. “I’m in my nightgown.”
“Then change. I’ll wait.”
“It’s too late.” In more than one way it was too late.
“Actually it’s the perfect time to stargaze.” He smiled up at her, the dimple in his chin making an appearance.
Why did he have to be so irresistible?
“Come on,” he pleaded. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”
“Fine.” She couldn’t hold out against him. Not when he looked up at her with so much expectation shining in his eyes. “But only for a few minutes.”
She tugged a gown over her nightdress and didn’t bother with her shoes or stockings. Instead, she tiptoed out of the hotel to where he was waiting for her.
As she approached, his grin widened, and he reached for her hand. “Come.”
When his fingers closed about hers, heat enveloped her and raced to her chest, filling her with delight and confusion and frustration all at once. She couldn’t allow an attraction to grow again. She’d been working hard all week to stop thinking about him and to put an end to any feelings she was harboring. How was it that one touch could bring everything back in a tidal wave of emotion?
Being outside with him in the dark was a bad idea. A very bad idea. She grabbed the front porch post. “Wait.”
He stopped. The moon and starlight reflected so much hope in his eyes that she didn’t know how to formulate the words to express her fear and hesitancy.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she began.
“Why not?” His tone was playful and free-spirited.
Would she crush him if she said she didn’t want to spend time with him? And if she told him that, would he sense she was lying? She hesitated and tugged at her skirt. “Because . . . because I’m not wearing any shoes.”
With a soft laugh, he tugged her forward, giving her no choice but to step away from the porch railing and follow him. “We won’t go far. I promise.”
“Where are we going?” she asked, stepping gingerly after him as he wound around the hotel.
“It’s a surprise.”
She should have known he wouldn’t tell her. “You said it wasn’t far.”
“It’s not.” His voice was light and cheerful, and after the past weeks of seeing him so melancholy, she couldn’t begrudge him a moment of happiness, now, could she?
He led her through the thick cool grass behind several businesses until they rounded the train depot. The tracks were as silent as the rest of the town but reminded her that tomorrow she was leaving to do the follow-up visits in Dresden and then afterward going to Quincy to collect Jethro. She’d sent a telegram to Elise earlier in the day to give her the good news about the results of the trial.
Elise had wired back to inform her that Jethro had recovered from the measles and was still talking about Marianne and Drew getting married. Marianne didn’t know what she’d tell the boy when she saw him. But she had at least another week to think of some way to share the news with him that she was marrying Reinhold instead of Drew. She dreaded breaking his heart. She knew how much he’d been looking forward to being a family with her and Drew.
Drew stopped at the foot of the large water tower that was used to service the trains’ steam engines. The steel cylinder stood on a pedestal that was at least twelve feet off the ground for the ease of pumping water into its tank.
A ladder ran up the length of the tower from the ground to the sloped metal roof. As Drew directed her to the ladder, she laughed her protest. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m always serious,” he said.
She laughed again and tried to step away, only to find him lifting her onto the first rung.
“Climb up,” he said. “It’ll be fun.”
She peered up the ladder that gleamed in the moonlight. It rose to a frightening height. She shook her head and started to lower her foot to the ground again.
“You’re not afraid, are you?” His voice hinted at a challenge.
She had to lean her head back to see all the way to the top. The ladder seemed to climb to the stars. Yes, honestly, she was afraid. But she pursed her lips and started up. She certainly wasn’t going to let Drew win this challenge.
The metal rungs were cold against her bare soles but surprisingly easy to climb. She soon found herself at the top and heard Drew right behind her.
“Crawl onto the roof,” he instructed, his hand brushing against her toes.
“Roof?” she squeaked, studying the slanted metal. “You never said anything about going on the roof.”
“You won’t regret it. I’ve been up here almost every night this week watching the stars, and it’s amazing.”
She hesitated only a moment longer before forcing herself to climb over the top bar and onto the slanted roof. Within seconds, Drew was beside her, his hand on her arm steadying her. With his help, she tentatively turned and sat down, tucking her legs under her skirt. He lowered himself next to her.
For a minute they didn’t speak. She was too nervous to look down, afraid she’d fall over the edge if she moved even a fraction. Beneath her, the roof was still warm from the heat it attracted during the hot summer day. She relished the smoothness and warmth against the bottoms of her bare feet and at the same time lifted her face into a gentle night breeze that carried a hint of coolness.
Drew looked up to take in the night sky. She did the same and gasped at the sight. Millions upon millions of stars spread out in every direction as far as her eyes could see.
“It is amazing,” she whispered.
He nodded his agreement, and they sat in awed silence for a while, gazing at the constellations of stars and breathing in the night air.
“That one is Corona Borealis, the Northern Crown,” he said, pointing to a ring of stars that looked like half of a crown. He went on to regale her with one of his stories, this one of Theseus and the Minotaur and the beautiful princess Ariadne. “And after Theseus defeated the Minotaur with her ball of thread,” he finished, “the young warrior gave her the crown when they were married.”
During his story, Marianne felt herself relaxing so that by the time he ended, she peeked over the edge of the water tower. She grabbed on to Drew and sucked in a sharp hiss at how high up they were.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” he said, slipping his arm behind her.
At his touch, she stiffened. Part of her warned that sittin
g on this roof with her ex-fiancé wouldn’t make her current fiancé very happy, especially now that her ex-fiancé had his arm around her.
But Drew didn’t make any move to pull her closer or hold her tighter. Since he was apparently only trying to ease her fears, she decided she wouldn’t say anything or make a bigger deal out of his hold than he likely intended.
“There’s Hercules.” He outlined another grouping of stars. “He’s the son of Zeus and known for his strength and courage. Would you like me to tell you how he defeated Leo the Lion or the many-headed beast called Hydra?”
“Are you attempting to distract me from my fear with your stories like you do the orphans?” she asked, smiling at him.
“Maybe.” He smiled back, his dimple much too attractive.
“Well, it’s working.” She focused her attention on the sky, away from him, away from his allure. “Tell me about Hydra.”
She loved listening to him just as much as the children did. And by the time he finished with the story of Hercules not only defeating Hydra but also killing Cancer, a vicious crab, all her fears had dissipated.
“Lay back like this,” he said and lowered himself against the roof so that both his back and head rested against its surface.
She imitated his action until she was lying next to him, the starry sky a canopy above them. “Thanks for challenging me to come up here,” she whispered. “Look what I would have missed if you hadn’t pushed me.”
“You’re a stronger woman than you know,” he replied.
“And you’re a stronger man than you know.” She wasn’t sure if he was ready to discuss his past with her yet or everything that had happened recently with Ned. But they were parting ways tomorrow, and she didn’t know if she’d have another chance to speak with him.
She took a deep breath and plunged forward before she could talk herself out of responding. “Too often when we think of courage, we think of Hercules and having extraordinary strength to face a mighty foe like Hydra or battle nature.”