Gayle smiled. “Of course. There’s a composition they haven’t yet covered in the etiquette books!”
“I do…like to be original.”
“Caroline, save your strength,” Rowan instructed her gently. “I think the bleeding is under control though we’re not sure yet. So I want you to lie as still as you can and take whatever medicine I give you. Do you hear me? We can debate about the inherent properties of organic medicine versus man-made formulations another day.”
“As you wish,” Caroline acquiesced without debate, a sure sign that she was in pain. Rowan gave her a dose of a bitter liquid to dull her discomfort and then pulled out his stethoscope to try to determine her status.
Ashe was back so quickly it caught them all by surprise.
“There, I am fit for presentation again!” He sat by her bedside. “Did I miss anything?”
“Where are the girls?”
“Home. They arrived a few minutes ago. Lord Hayle saw to everything.”
“You like him, don’t you?” she asked.
“He asked Starr to marry him again and she accepted him. I am in shock but yes, I like him. A little bit. It makes no sense but…when he brought flowers that first time and you should have seen the look on his face, he was so obviously already gone for her.”
“Ashe,” she said, weakly squeezing his fingers. “Stafford…”
Ashe shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about him, dearest.”
“I…do. Please.”
“Very well,” Ashe sighed, kissing her hand and each fingertip. “You win. It is a wicked way to win, but I can refuse you nothing when you are ill.”
“We’ll give you some privacy,” Gayle offered. “I’ll go check on the girls and Rowan will be seated right outside the door.”
“Thank you.” Ashe looked over at his friend, a world of anxiety hanging in the air between them.
Once the door closed behind the Wests, Ashe turned his full attention to Caroline.
“I hate most how familiar this is, Quaker. We shall have to reinvent ourselves or our friends will find us too predictable.”
“Ashe.”
“Yes, darling.”
“I like Stafford.”
“No, you don’t.”
She smiled. “I do. He’s proud…and challenging…and willing to face you…to win her. I know it’s all a tangle but there is something about him. I trust him. And more…I think Scarlett loves him, Ashe. I think he is her duke. I think he was hers all along.”
“Caroline.” It was all he could manage to say.
“I. Like. Him.”
“Damn it, Caroline.”
“Language.” She smiled up at him, reaching up to touch his face. “If he asks her to marry him, and she accepts him, promise me you will be very sweet and very kind and pretend to be very excited for them both.”
He shook his head slowly but began to smile. “I do like the way you used the word ‘pretend’ just then…”
“I was giving you a way to preserve your pride.”
“Caroline, are you sure about this?”
“I cannot be more certain. He reminds me of you.”
“You win. You always win, my darling Quaker.”
“I know but I do love the way you make me fight for every victory so that I don’t take my victories for granted.”
“That was the plan all along.” He leaned over to kiss her then hesitated. “When you are better, Caroline, can we fight again?”
“Every day, Ashe. We will fight every day.”
“That’s my girl.” He kissed her as tenderly as a groom on a wedding day and for a few moments, time stood still.
* * *
Ashe strode out of the bedroom and signaled for Rowan to follow him to his study. He closed the door behind them, poured out two brandies and finally spoke. “Rowan. Tell me. The truth.”
“Her health has never been good.”
“It was the arsenic.” Ashe named the old agony head on. “When that bastard poisoned her by accident when he was trying to murder me all those years ago. It’s been a shadow over everything like a ghost.”
Rowan nodded slowly, trying to give Ashe time to take it all in. “It ravaged her internal organs. She healed, Ashe, but it’s always been a bit of a balance and a struggle. We nearly lost her when the twins were born but your wife is an amazing woman. I think she lives for you, Ashe.”
“Yes. For me,” Ashe said softly. “She lives for me.”
“To be honest, I thought you’d be a widower before the girls were five.” Rowan walked over to him to stand by the windows that looked out over the gardens of the house. “Gayle and I—we love her, too. Gayle is still determined that I am wrong but only because her heart is overruling her head.”
“Am I going to be a widower now?”
“It’s not stomach ulcers. I suspect it is cancer. The lack of appetite, the pain, the bleeding…it’s spread and there is no cure.”
Rowan waited for the explosion of temper, for the battle, the fury. Ashe was a warrior when it came to Caroline and had long had a paradoxical relationship with medicines and physicians. Ashe trusted Rowan completely and saw him as a dear friend, but he had also come to dread the sight of him crossing over his threshold.
Theirs was an uneasy alliance but it was a familiar one.
And now he’d given him the news that Ashe had dreaded most. He had spoken the words that Ashe refused to hear and that he could not fight his way past.
Here is the moment where he screams, tells me I’m a liar or incompetent and then probably punches me in the face. I should have brought Michael for protection—but God help me, I think I’m looking forward to the punishment. Anything so that I don’t feel like the world’s greatest villain destroying this man…
“Rowan?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you known?” Ashe asked the question without looking at him, his eyes locked on the view of green hedges and abundant flowers outside plunged into darkness.
“Not long. After Gayle diagnosed stomach ulcers, I took a second look at her notes. I hated what my instincts were telling me and I decided I’d insist on an exam after Fitzwalter’s. I didn’t want to spoil the Season and I knew everyone was very excited about—the prospects for the twins. I saw no need to ruin things. But then…things took a turn and there’s no doubt now.”
“No doubt now,” Ashe echoed again.
Rowan kept very still, willing to wait a century if his friend needed the time.
“Does she know?”
Rowan sighed. “I don’t think so. I haven’t told her. In my experience, it rarely benefits someone to hear the worst. Denial gives them—hope even where none can be found and hope is a powerful thing. It’s up to you, of course, if you wish to—”
“She knows.” Ashe leaned against the window’s wide casing, his voice was steady but hollowed. “She’s so smart, Rowan. She’s so incredibly clever and her instincts are uncanny. I tease her about reading minds but I swear, she’s that brilliant.”
Rowan wasn’t sure what to say. “Yes, she is.”
At last, Ashe turned to face him. “You’ll say nothing. You’ll do whatever you can to help her feel better and I am going to—love my wife. We have a wedding to plan for Starr and Scarlett’s may not be far behind. Caroline is looking forward to seeing them dressed in wedding finery and even to holding grandchildren in her arms.”
Rowan couldn’t find the heart to argue about the realities of time allotted and the course of the disease ahead, aware that his eyes probably said it all.
Ashe’s temper finally flared. “You underestimate her, Dr. West. It’s easy to do. But you forget that my petite and beautiful wife is an American and has no interest in doing what is expected of her. Everyone thinks it is Starr who is her perfect reflection because of their shared interests, overlooking Scarlett’s indomitable spirit and then mistakenly giving her father credit for it. They are both hers and a mirror held up to show the world who she is
, Rowan.”
“Yes, I see that now.”
“I haven’t lost her yet!”
“No.”
The quiet came again, a dreadful pause that robbed Ashe of the fiery determination in his eyes. “I need you to go. I need to be alone now.”
“Yes.” Rowan stepped back and picked up his bag from where he’d set it behind one of the chairs. “Send for Gayle or myself if…anything occurs.”
Ashe said nothing, turning his back on his friend to look out the windows.
Rowan headed for the door and then looked back to see Ashe outlined by the moonlight, his coloring turned to molten silver and gold by the setting, his broad shoulders stiff and unyielding to the weight of the world. And then, they trembled and shook, as Ashe Blackwell began to break down, a rough cry escaping his lips in dry, merciless bursts that threatened to crumble him to the ground.
Rowan left quickly, closing the door behind him.
Death comes for all of us.
Even when you have a Lion guarding your door…
Chapter 29
“I can’t believe we’re to change for dinner tonight. Let’s ring and let Mrs. Clark know we’d rather eat here in our room.” Starr shifted away from the windows. “Father wants to be upstairs. He hasn’t left her side since last night. I see no need to go through the ritual when it’s just us.”
“God, what a night last night!” Scarlett brushed out her hair, as Starr continued pacing the bedroom wringing her hands. “Daisy said Mother is feeling much better and that Uncle Rowan just left. She said it was Mother’s ulcers and an infection that caused her to be so violently ill but that all is quiet now.”
“It was so—horrible!”
“Yes, but…Mother will mend and we have…Starr, you’re engaged!” Scarlett put down her brush. “I know it was a very uneven experience and there was hardly time for anyone to begin congratulating you—but the happy news still stands. Lord Hayle asked you to marry him and Father gave you his blessing and even more miraculously, you said yes!”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Why don’t you look more pleased, dearest?”
“I cannot marry Ryder now! Father needs me and—if Mother is terribly ill, then shouldn’t we wait to—”
Scarlett stood from her vanity to rush to her sister. She grabbed Starr by the shoulders and gave her a firm shake. “I will strike you if I have to, Tara. You will marry Ryder Maitland and be ridiculously happy, do you hear me? Mother will never forgive you if you make some misguided gesture of self-sacrifice—if you deny yourself the life that you deserve!”
“But what if it’s truly serious this time?”
Scarlett shook her head. “It can’t be. Uncle Rowan and Aunt Gayle are seeing to her and they are bound to get things under control. And even if they weren’t the most amazing healers to be found, then you owe it to Mother to make her smile. All she wants is for you to be happy, Tara. How can she get better if she thinks that everything is ruined because of her illness? She’ll take it to heart. You know she will!”
“She would, wouldn’t she? I don’t know. Nothing seems right.”
Scarlett took her hands to hold them gently, to warm them with hers. “It isn’t. But life isn’t about perfection. It’s about making the best of what we have.”
Starr nodded slowly. “Making the best of what we have.” She sighed and then gripped her sisters hands to reverse the hold. “What about you then? What are you going to do, Scarlett?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Stafford was there, too. He was with our parents when it happened. He had blood all over his hands…”
“I—don’t know what you’re asking me. He was there. That is all I know.”
“He was there to ask me for my blessing,” Ashe interrupted them from the doorway. “He was…determined to have it.”
“What? H-he asked you for my hand?” Scarlett turned to face him, her eyes wide with shock. “To marry me?”
“He did.”
“What did you say?”
“All the wrong things. Your mother is very unhappy with me for it, too.” Ashe crossed his arms. “He said he’d been begging for you to marry him in a series of letters but…I may have accidentally burnt them as each one arrived.”
“Father!”
“Your mother has already punished me by nearly dying for that last confession so go easy on an old man! I meant to protect you. I was convinced he was not the right man for you but—I was wrong. That is—I was wrong if you want me to be wrong, Scarlett. I can still be right. Not that I’d take pleasure in it, but a man does enjoy being right sometimes.”
“Oh, Father!” Scarlett pressed her fingers against her lips.
“Was I right?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I…there’s so much to consider.”
“Good.” Ashe came into the room and drew them both into his arms, the way he had from the time they were small. “I’m sorry, Buttons. I nearly ruined everything.”
“We love you, Father,” they said in unison and brought tears to his eyes.
He released them gruffly, struggling to regain his footing. “I have to go back to be with your Mother. I’ll send word to Hayle not to call for a few days. It will give him time to come back with a decent engagement gift. Shall I tell him books or jewelry, Starr?”
“Jewelry,” she said with a quiet smile.
“That’s my girl,” Ashe sighed with contentment. “Scarlett, we’ll…talk about Stafford in the morning. He isn’t going anywhere.”
“Yes, Father.” Scarlett kept her head down until he was gone.
“Lettie?” Starr asked. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore. Dear God, Tara, I’m drowning.” She vaulted into action, opening her wardrobe to retrieve a coat and gloves.
“What are you doing?”
“I have calls to make.”
“At this hour?”
“I’ll be back before long. Tell Mrs. Clark not to set aside a dinner plate for me.”
Starr nodded, stunned into silence but then managed just as Scarlett was leaving to say, “Good luck.”
Scarlett bolted down the stairs and spotted Mr. Godwin in the foyer. “Godwin, I’m going out. If Father asks, please reassure him that I took James with me for protection.”
“Yes, Miss Blackwell. Very well.”
Scarlett fought not to gasp at the transition. She was a woman grown at last, but she felt so wounded and so fragile, it was an odd contradiction to wield power over her own life at last. “Thank you, Godwin. Tell James to bring the carriage around immediately.”
Within minutes, she was on her way.
“Where are we headed, Miss Blackwell?” James asked after he closed the carriage door.
“We have two stops to make. The Duke of Stafford’s and then…the Duke of Chesterton’s. As quickly as you can manage it, James.”
“Yes, Miss Blackwell.”
Two stops.
Pray to God that I know what I want to do before I get there…
“There is a Miss Scarlett Blackwell to see you, Your Grace.”
“At this hour?” Elgin pushed the papers on his desk aside. “Send her in! Send her in, man!”
He straightened, winced a bit at the spasm that ripped down his back but he shook off the pain. She’s come.
“Miss Blackwell,” he greeted her as she came through the doors to his study. “It is late but I only say that so decorum is served and I can say that I protested when in fact, I’m delighted to see you at any hour.”
“You are too kind, Your Grace.”
“Here, sit here. Would you like some sherry? Or even a bit of port?”
“No, thank you.” She sat down, a beautiful bird of paradise in the masculine atmosphere of the room. “I am too nervous to partake.”
“How is your mother?”
“Better. We are all so worried about her but Father is determined that she will recover and I’ve never
known anything on Heaven or Earth to defy him when he has a full head of steam.” She pressed her fingers against her cheeks to cool them. “It was terrifying, wasn’t it?”
“It was. She is such a sweet lady. My heart goes out to your family now.” He took the seat across from her. “It goes without saying that if there is anything you need you have but to ask.”
“Your Grace, I am ready to talk to you about…your proposal.”
He shook his head. “No. Not like this. Not if grief and fear for your mother has driven you to my door, Scarlett. We are true friends and I would never forgive myself for making any agreement when you were struggling and perhaps not yourself.”
She sighed, her eyes filling with tears. “See? See how kind you are to me?”
“Miss Blackwell!” He held out his handkerchief. “There, there!”
“Your Grace, please. Let me get through this in one ridiculous rush. Agreed?”
“Of course. Agreed. Please say whatever it is you came to say.” He looked at her as solemnly as a man awaiting sentence in a court of law. “I did not mean to hinder you.”
“I used to think that love was a very simple proposition. Especially for me, being a Blackwell. I would meet a man, lose my heart, and for better or worse, my fate would be determined. One toss of the dice, one outcome, one chance.” Scarlett sighed, a ragged cascade that betrayed her emotions. “If you looked through the pages quickly, it is exactly the story one would see…but there is more, isn’t there?”
“I hope so,” he whispered.
“We are true friends, you and I. True friends never turn their backs, never fail to come when they are needed and they never…allow someone to face their fears alone.”
“Are you going to marry me, Miss Blackwell?” he asked.
She looked at him, her heart in her eyes, and slowly shook her head. “No, Your Grace.”
“But, you just said…”
“I am going to be with you. I’m going to make you laugh and keep you company and hold your hand. I’m going to do all of those things and with Talon’s understanding and support.”
The Wild Duchess/The Willful Duchess (The Duchess Club Book 1) Page 25