by Cathy Glass
‘Don’t worry,’ Elaine said, taking tissues from her pocket. ‘It was an accident.’ She wiped the milk from her coat, the car seat and the window. The driver glanced in his mirror but didn’t comment.
It was a relief when they pulled up outside their hotel. Ian paid and tipped the driver and then opened the back door and helped Anastasia out. As the three of them entered the hotel the staff at the reception desk stopped what they were doing to look. They knew they’d been to court that morning and were now interested to see the child they’d adopted. Ian gave them the thumbs up and Elaine smiled but they didn’t go over. They wanted to go to their hotel room to get organized, give Anastasia a bath as Dr Ciobanu had suggested, dress her in fresh clothes and then use room service for something to eat. They knew they needed to take it slowly and give Anastasia time to adjust. To rush out to a restaurant or start meeting lots of new people straight away would have been too much for her to cope with. They’d learned from other couples that virtually every experience was likely to be new for the child, so they should take it very easy and not overload her – too many new experiences too soon would be confusing and distressing for her.
‘This is a lift,’ Elaine said to Anastasia as they got in. It was empty. ‘Lift,’ Elaine repeated as she did with all new words, hoping Anastasia would learn them.
Anastasia let out a startled cry as the lift began moving, then caught sight of her image in the mirror and stuck out her tongue. Ian and Elaine laughed. Anastasia gave another startled cry as the lift shuddered to a halt. ‘It’s OK,’ Elaine reassured her. ‘It’s just the lift stopping.’ The lift doors opened. ‘We’re going to our hotel room,’ she told her.
Anastasia looked in awe at the patterned carpet in the corridor and bent down to touch it as though she’d never seen carpet before. Perhaps she hadn’t. There was certainly none in the orphanage; all the floors were tiled.
Their room was meticulously tidy as always after the maid had been in. ‘Let’s take off your coat,’ Elaine said, unzipping it. Anastasia stared around, amazed. She slipped it off but before Elaine had a chance to remove her boots, Anastasia had rushed over to the double bed, running her hands over the silky patterned bedspread. ‘She’s probably never seen anything like this before either.’
‘They haven’t put up the extra bed,’ Ian said, slightly irritated. ‘I told reception this morning we’d need it. I’ll phone housekeeping now.’
As he did, Elaine took off Anastasia’s boots and then watched her as she went around the room exploring, touching everything she could reach – the dark wood furniture, the velvet armchair, the glass-topped coffee table, their suitcases. Elaine told her the words for the objects, and when she went into the en suite Elaine followed. Anastasia looked incredulously at the gleaming white porcelain. They had showers and toilets at the orphanage but nothing like this, and it was likely that wherever she’d stayed with her mother was very basic too. Anastasia went over to the toilet, lifted the lid and, pulling down her pants, climbed on. ‘Good girl,’ Elaine said, pushing the door to. Ian was still on the phone trying to organize the bed.
While Anastasia wasn’t at all self-conscious in going to the toilet and then wiping herself, Elaine felt a little awkward, not sure what her role was. Had Anastasia been a baby she would have changed her nappy, but she had obviously passed that stage and was now very self-sufficient. She flushed the toilet but was going to leave the bathroom without washing her hands.
‘Come here, love,’ Elaine said, steering her to the washbasin. ‘You need to wash your hands.’ Elaine ran the water to the right temperature and, placing the small tablet of hotel soap in Anastasia’s hands, helped her wash them. They were grubby from the day’s grime. ‘We could give you a bath now,’ Elaine suggested as the child dried her hands. It seemed as good a time as any. ‘Then you can put on your new clothes.’ She smiled.
Anastasia stared at her without the slightest idea what she was talking about. ‘Bath,’ Elaine repeated, touching the bath. Anastasia frowned, puzzled. They only had showers at the orphanage so it was possible she’d never seen a bath before. ‘I’ll show you,’ Elaine said. She put in the plug, turned on the taps and ran the water, checking the temperature as the bath filled. She then helped Anastasia out of her clothes and lifted her in. As her feet touched the warm water she screamed with delight and screamed again even louder as she sat down and the water lapped around her waist. ‘Shh,’ Elaine said lightly, putting her finger to her lips. ‘Daddy is on the phone.’ Anastasia slapped the water at the side of her with the palm of her hand, creating a splash.
Elaine noticed her skin was very pale, as though she’d never been outside, and there were some red sores on her back, which she would get checked by the doctor when they took Anastasia for a medical once they were home. Anastasia loved her bath and it wasn’t long before she was splashing and kicking. Water flew up the walls, in her face and all over Elaine. They both laughed and Elaine finally started to relax. This was an example of what motherhood was all about – enjoying bathtime with your child, and at home was a selection of bath toys and bubble bath to make the experience even more fun.
Ian finished on the phone and stuck his head round the door. ‘They’re bringing up a folding bed now,’ he said. ‘You’re having fun.’
‘We are!’ Elaine cried. He left them to it.
The water turned grey, suggesting Anastasia hadn’t had a full body wash for some time. Elaine would have liked to wash her hair – it smelled of the orphanage – but decided to leave it for now. The water was cooling and they hadn’t eaten since breakfast.
‘Time to get out,’ she said, and motioned for Anastasia to stand. Anastasia stayed where she was. ‘Come on, love. We’re getting something to eat. Food.’ She pointed to her mouth and mimed eating.
Anastasia continued splashing, harder now, kicking her feet and soaking Elaine. Elaine laughed indulgently but she really did need Anastasia out now. When it became obvious she wasn’t going to leave the bath, Elaine removed the plug and the water slowly drained away. Anastasia sat in the depleting water, watching it disappear until there was just a small puddle left. ‘All gone,’ Elaine said.
‘Gone,’ Anastasia repeated and Elaine clapped. She’d learned another new word!
Anastasia was now willing to be helped out and Elaine wrapped her in a bath towel and patted her dry. She guided her into the bedroom where she dressed her in the new clothes. Clean from the bath and wearing the clothes and pink furry slippers Elaine had chosen, Anastasia seemed to have become more their child. Once her hair was washed and styled, that would help too.
A knock sounded on the door and Ian answered it. Two chambermaids came in carrying a foldaway bed. They stared inquisitively at Anastasia and Elaine felt slightly uncomfortable.
‘Over there, please,’ Ian said, showing them where they wanted the bed. They unfolded it and put it into place, but there was just the bed and mattress, no bedding. ‘Duvet? Covers?’ Ian asked. They looked back at him blankly. ‘Bedding,’ he said, showing them on the bed.
One of them nodded, said something to the other, and they headed out. As they passed Anastasia the same one muttered something to Anastasia in her own language. Anastasia clearly understood and, from her expression, whatever had been said wasn’t positive, and could even have been nasty, for she looked at them anxiously. Clearly Ian and Elaine had no idea what had been said and Anastasia couldn’t translate. They were aware that some of the population were opposed to international adoption, believing they’d be better off in the state-run orphanages – which clearly wasn’t true. When the women returned with the bedding Ian thanked them but took it from them at the door and said they’d make up the bed, so they had no contact with Anastasia.
With little idea of the food Anastasia liked or was used to, Ian and Elaine ordered a selection of dishes from the room-service menu, including French fries. All children liked French fries, didn’t they? When the food arrived Ian took it at the door, and they sat on
the bed to eat with the trays of food between them and told Anastasia it was like having a picnic. She was fascinated by the plates of attractively presented food but ate virtually nothing. She took a tiny bite from everything but no more, which was worrying. She wouldn’t have had anything since early that morning, apart from the two small cartons of milkshake. Elaine and Ian both tried to tempt her, offering little portions of the food to her mouth, but she refused, shaking her head and clamping her lips tightly shut.
‘Perhaps she’ll have something later,’ Elaine said, and gave her the glass of orange juice they’d ordered. She didn’t want that, or the cup of tea Elaine cooled with extra milk. Her gaze went to the holdall they’d taken to court but hadn’t unpacked. Scrambling from the bed, she went over and began tugging at the zip, trying to undo it.
‘Carton of drink,’ Ian said as Elaine left the bed to help her.
Elaine took out the cartons of juice and the bottle of water, but these clearly weren’t what Anastasia had in mind. ‘There aren’t any more milkshakes,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘All gone.’ But Anastasia had to see for herself and emptied out the entire contents of the bag before she was satisfied, then grabbed the carton of apple juice. Elaine waited as she put in the straw and then mopped up the spillage with tissues. She finished the drink quickly and Elaine tried to tempt her to eat again, but she wasn’t interested. Ian had nearly finished his meal.
‘Tomorrow, we could all go to the supermarket we’ve been using,’ he suggested. ‘She could choose what she likes then.’
‘Yes, good idea,’ Elaine agreed.
Anastasia joined them on the bed as Elaine ate, then she began yawning and rubbing her eyes. ‘You must be exhausted, pet,’ Elaine said gently to her. ‘Try to have a little sleep.’ She helped Anastasia to snuggle down. Anastasia rubbed her face against the soft, luxurious feel of the duvet and began sucking her thumb. It wasn’t long before her eyes closed and she fell into a deep sleep. Ian and Elaine gazed at her admiringly. Her little features relaxed in sleep, she was gorgeous and everything they could possibly have wished for. Her breath fell light and even and her thumb slipped from her mouth as she slept. If they’d known then what was to follow, they might have taken the opportunity to rest themselves while they had the chance. Anastasia slept for two hours and then woke with a start.
Chapter Eleven
Exhausted
It was just after 4 p.m. when Anastasia’s eyes shot open and she was immediately off the bed and at the door of their hotel room. It was such a sudden awakening that it made Ian and Elaine start and they wondered if she was fully awake, but any doubt quickly vanished as she began hammering on the door. Elaine went to her. ‘No, love. Quietly,’ she said, trying to draw her away. ‘There are other people in this hotel. Don’t bang the door.’ Which of course was meaningless to Anastasia. She broke from Elaine’s hold and ran around the room screaming – not crying or upset, just screaming.
‘She’s got a good set of lungs on her,’ Ian quipped. They hadn’t heard her scream before, but Elaine wasn’t amused.
‘Shhh, quietly,’ she said, catching her by the arm. ‘Shhh.’ She put her finger to her lips. ‘Too much noise. What’s the matter?’ Anastasia stared at her blankly. ‘Let’s get you some toys out to play with. Ian, can you help, please?’
He left the bed and, opening the suitcase containing Anastasia’s belongings, took out some of the new toys they’d brought with them, including another activity centre. He set them beside Anastasia and then took the trays off the bed and put them outside the door for room service to collect later. Seeing the door open, Anastasia made a dash for it, but Ian quickly closed it. She banged on it with her fists, clearly wanting to be out.
‘Come on, play with the toys,’ Elaine encouraged, going to her. But Anastasia was more interested in the door.
‘It’s like that first day we were with her at the orphanage,’ Ian said. ‘Do you remember, she kept going to the window and then ran off?’
Elaine didn’t find this reminder helpful and drew Anastasia away from the door towards the toys. They both tried to engage her in play, but a few moments later she was at the door again, hammering for all she was worth. Exasperated, not sure what to do for the best and feeling a little rejected, Elaine went to her. ‘Anastasia, you can’t go out, love. You’re staying with us. We’re your mummy and daddy.’
‘Mummy and Daddy,’ she repeated, and thumped the door harder.
‘Perhaps we should go for a walk?’ Ian suggested. ‘I know we were planning on spending the rest of the day here to give her a chance to adjust but that’s not working. We could go to the supermarket now rather than tomorrow?’
Elaine agreed, and with a plan of action felt more positive. ‘We’re going out,’ she told Anastasia and picked up her coat and boots. As soon as Anastasia saw her outdoor wear she realized they were leaving, stopped banging on the door and went to Elaine.
Used to being self-sufficient and doing things for herself, Anastasia rejected Elaine’s help and began struggling into her clothes herself. Putting on boots, a coat, mittens, hat and scarf is difficult for any two-year-old, even if they are independent, and it kept Anastasia quietly occupied for a good ten minutes. ‘Perhaps give her clothes to play with in future,’ Ian remarked dryly, and finally Elaine smiled. ‘It will be OK,’ he reassured her, kissing her cheek. ‘Just give her time. It’s all new for her as it is for us.’
With Anastasia finally dressed for going out, she allowed Elaine to do up the zipper on her coat and take her hand, and they left the room. Ian summoned the lift and the couple who were already in it moved aside to make space for them. However, the woman blocked Anastasia’s view of herself in the mirror and she pushed her aside so she could see. The woman smiled indulgently but Elaine apologized and said firmly to Anastasia, ‘No. It’s rude to push.’ She appreciated that until now Anastasia had probably had to push to fend for herself and take what she wanted, and was therefore more ‘streetwise’ than the average two-year-old. But that was behind her now and she’d have to slowly learn what was polite in order to fit in.
Reception was busy so Elaine and Ian were able to slip out without having to go to the desk and introduce Anastasia to the staff. They felt that once they knew Anastasia better and were used to her ways, they would be more confident parenting her, and would of course show her off. But for now there were so many unknowns, especially in her behaviour, that they didn’t want any nasty surprises in public, which they might struggle to cope with.
Elaine had to insist that Anastasia held her hand while near the road. ‘Cars hurt,’ she told her. Ian took Anastasia’s other hand and they crossed the busy main road.
Anastasia seemed less agitated now than she had done in the hotel and the walk to the supermarket was uneventful, although it was cold, and the light was failing early in winter. The supermarket wasn’t much warmer and the two cashiers positioned near the doors were wearing their coats. They looked at Elaine, Ian and Anastasia as they entered, intrigued. Although the women didn’t speak English they had got to know Ian and Elaine by sight from their daily visits and must have wondered who the child was. It was possible they’d surmised they had adopted her as this was the closest shop to the hotel where other couples who were in the country to adopt had stayed. Ian nodded politely and then the three of them began up and down the aisles, looking at the shelves crammed full of goods.
Anastasia was fascinated; perhaps she’d never been in a shop before – it was impossible to know. With a month to go before Christmas, new festive goods were being added daily, glittering and enticing. They had to stop Anastasia touching everything in case she dropped or damaged an item – the glass baubles were especially fragile. They’d really come here so she could choose some food she liked, and they gradually led her to the tins, packets, and fridge and freezer food. Anastasia was far more interested in baubles and tinsel. Elaine said that perhaps it was asking a bit much to expect a two-year-old – even one who knew her own
mind – to choose food. Ian agreed and pointed out it was a pity they couldn’t ask a member of staff what children in this country ate, as they didn’t speak the language. Dr Ciobanu’s guidance notes had advised adopters of babies which powdered milk to bring, and said that children on solids ate a variety of meat and vegetables, bread and thick soups. After spending half an hour in the shop they bought something that looked like a local variation on a Pot Noodle – it just needed boiling water to be added to it. They also bought bread rolls, apples, bananas, a milkshake and a fairy for the top of the Christmas tree that Anastasia wouldn’t let go of.
The cashier smiled at Anastasia as she checked the items through and then gave her a lollipop from a box at the side of the till. Elaine thanked her. It was a nice gesture and her friendly manner towards Anastasia suggested that if she knew they’d adopted, she approved.
Outside, Anastasia enjoyed the lollipop as they headed back to their hotel. ‘Well, at least that’s one thing she’ll eat,’ Ian remarked. ‘Perhaps we should go back and buy the whole jar?’ Elaine smiled, aware he was joking.
It was dark now save for the street lamps and car headlights, and even colder as night fell. There was no way of knowing what Anastasia was thinking or feeling, or where she thought they were going. She seemed quite content sucking her lollipop until they approached the hotel, then she suddenly stopped dead and refused to move.
‘What is it, love?’ Elaine asked. She’d taken the lollipop from her mouth and looked frightened and confused. ‘We’re going to our hotel room,’ Elaine gently reassured her. ‘Come on, love. We can’t stand out here. It’s freezing.’ But Anastasia refused to move.