Rachel stared at the perfection of his tautly muscled back. He held his head high, his shoulders straight as he stood there looking over the open grazing land. A deep, abiding fear was beginning to well up in her. Something had happened to him while he was in Auggie Owens's care, something dark and terrifying, something she didn't think she could bear to hear.
"Lane, please stop. You don't have to tell me the rest."
"I don't have to, but I want to. I want you to understand that it isn't impossible to get over a terrible hurt that someone can inflict on your mind, your heart and your soul."
She moved up behind him. Without looking at her, he reached back for her hand. After a moment's hesitation, she gave it. Fingers entwined, they stared over the land as the morning sun climbed higher in the sky.
He cleared his throat. Afraid of seeing tears in his eyes, she kept her gaze forward when he began again.
"Auggie Owens was an unkempt, slovenly mound of a woman. Her cabin made a pigsty look like a mansion. She made a pallet for me in the corner of the kitchen and warned me not to misbehave or she'd beat me within an inch of my life. I never doubted that she'd do it.
"I'd never had a whippin' in my life. Never did anything to deserve one. I was terrified. My ma had just died right before my eyes, then Chase left me, too. I wasn't about to do anything to upset Auggie. I was going to be the best boy she'd ever seen.
"After supper that night, she started drinking and crying about the ungrateful wretch of a boy who'd run away after she had given him a home and everything she could give him for years. She said she had prayed for someone like me to come along and the Lord had finally answered her prayers. The drunker she got, the more frightened I became, 'cause she started looking at me funny."
Rachel couldn't stop the cold chill of horror that swept her. Just as she had unburdened herself to him the night he had come to dinner, she could tell Lane needed to talk. There was nothing she could do but hear him out.
"As if my life wasn't already in ruins, it changed forever when Auggie made me get in bed with her that night."
"I don't want to hear any more," Rachel whispered as her hand tightened around his.
"I'll spare you the sordid details. All you need to know is that she didn't have the right to do what she did to me. No one has a right to do those things to a child." His voice wavered on the last word. Finally, Lane took a deep breath, as if he'd been relieved of a great burden.
"Did it go on until Chase came home? How could you live through it all those years?"
"I was just a little boy, like Ty. Children don't have a choice," he said with a shrug. "When I was around twelve, I ran off and headed back to the deserted ranch house at the Trail's End. There was a gun hidden there, the gun my ma used to kill herself, and I dug it up. I had hidden it from Chase while he buried my mother because in my child's mind, I thought that if it killed her, it might kill Chase, too."
With his free hand he let his fingertips trail over the handle of the gun at his hip as he continued.
"Auggie had a hired hand by then, a drifter. Guessing where I was, she sent him after me. I hid the gun again and had no choice but to go back. I was starving and had no idea where to go for help. But I stood up to her that night, told her I would kill her before I ever let her touch me again. I had grown almost as tall as her. She backed down and said I'd gotten too old for her tastes anyway, that I wasn't the sweet little boy she had wanted before. She left me alone after that, except she let the hired man go and I was forced to do double chores."
Rachel closed her eyes against the cruel images his words evoked. He was younger than Ty was now when Chase Cassidy had unknowingly left him in the hands of a woman sick to the depths of her soul.
"And when Chase finally came back?"
"I was fifteen by then, almost sixteen. When Auggie was in town for supplies one day, she heard Chase had been released from prison. She didn't tell me why, but within two days she'd sold the place to your in-laws, loaded up a wagon with what little was worth keeping and took off, leaving me behind. When Chase got back a week later, he took me home."
"What did he do when he found out about Auggie?"
"My God, Rachel. Did you think I could tell him? I've never told anyone, before today."
Rachel spun around to face him. She laid her hand on his arm and tried to imagine what it had been like to keep the burden of his past locked inside all these years. Suddenly the reason behind his almost irrational behavior as a youth was clear. It explained why he had been so rebellious and why he hated his uncle.
"That's why you and Chase never got along, isn't it?"
"I blamed him for leaving me behind, for handing me over to Auggie. By the time he came back, I swore I was never going to be anybody's good little boy again."
"That's why you left the ranch for good shortly after Chase met Eva, isn't it?"
He nodded. "I'd lost the memory of what Auggie had done. I'd somehow blocked it out of my mind, until one night I walked in on Chase and Eva making love. It all came back to me—my mother's suicide, Auggie, all of it. I couldn't stay after that. I couldn't face Chase and Eva, couldn't live with the truth, so I ran."
The purging was easier than he would have imagined. With Rachel standing beside him, holding his hand, giving him silent encouragement, he felt as if he had finally flushed the darkness out of himself.
She was still standing there with her hand on his arm. He could see the love and caring in her eyes, along with something more. Something he had to stop.
"I don't want pity from you, Rachel."
"I don't pity you," she said, meaning every word. "I can't help but compare Ty to you at that age, and I can only think of how incredibly strong you must have been to have survived it all."
"Stubborn is all." Trying to smile, he took her hand, ran his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. "There was a point to this, you know."
She stared down at his hand, at the way he was stroking her skin, slowly, gently, with a deep tenderness. "You said you couldn't bear to be touched. How did you get over it?"
"There was a woman, older by a few years. I met her in Denver. She was loving, caring, wise."
Rachel felt an unsuspecting wave of jealousy, even though she knew she should be thankful that someone had been there for him when he'd needed help so desperately.
As he continued to watch her, she became self-conscious and reached up to smooth her hair. "I must look a mess," she said, her voice strained.
"Rachel, you're beautiful. And you are the most loving person I've ever known. McKenna must have worked very hard at making you feel unworthy, as if you were the one letting him down. Over time, he stripped away your confidence, when he was to blame. Now you're afraid to fail again. I would be willing to bet you're afraid that if you let me make love to you, I'll find you wanting."
She tried to look away, but he caught her chin in his hand and made her meet his gaze. "Am I right?" he whispered.
"Yes."
"I can guarantee you're wrong."
"And what if you're wrong? What if everything Stuart said was true?" she asked.
Her eyes were filled with doubt and longing. He wanted to see them sparkle, to shine the way they used to when she was young and full of confidence. He wanted to be the one to put the stars back in her eyes.
"There's only one way to find out."
Sweeping her into his arms, he gave her no time to protest before his lips covered her. He pressed her back with the force of his kiss until her arms went around his neck and she clung to him, returning the kiss full measure. His tongue dipped into the warm recesses of her mouth, parried with hers and teased in imitation of greater intimacy until she moaned.
When the kiss ended, he pulled away just far enough to look down into her eyes. He cupped her cheek with one hand and said, "There are just some things I'm never wrong about. We'll take it slow, as if it were your very first time. I'll teach you what it means to be touched and held and loved with care and respect,
and I promise I'll help you get over your fear. Will you trust me, Rachel?"
He had battered down the last of her defenses. As he stood there holding her away from himself so he could read the answer in her eyes, she met his stare. There was no way she could refuse this time. All she had to do was say the word, give up, give in to her desire—and pray that he was right.
Robert McKenna pulled back sharply on the reins and stopped just short of riding into full view of the rear of the line shack on Cassidy land. He had set out early, intent on tracking down Lane Cassidy before the appointed meeting the gunslinger had arranged.
His memory had not failed him. He found the old shack still standing in a clearing surrounded by pines. He had come across it accidentally once, not long ago, when he was out surveying the surrounding land.
What he had not counted on finding was Rachel's dappled gray mare wandering nearby. He heard the horse whinny and pulled back, moving his own mount into the cover of trees. Questions assailed him. What reason would Rachel have to be in the vicinity if she were not with Cassidy?
Robert flicked the hem of his coat back to give himself access to his gun. He slipped out of the saddle, hit the ground with barely a sound and began edging forward. He had almost cleared the side of the cabin when he recognized the sound of voices hushed in conversation. His hand tightened around the gun handle. Curiosity compelled him to step closer.
Robert froze when he saw a young man he instantly assumed to be Lane Cassidy with his hands clutched around Rachel's upper arms. A twig snapped beneath his boot just as he cleared the corner of the shack and stepped into view.
Cassidy heard the sound, glanced up and, in a split second, drew his gun as he whipped Rachel around and pulled her up against him, using her as a shield.
In a glance Robert noted the young gunman was acutely handsome, eyeing him with a stare as cold as death. He knew in that instant the man was capable of anything.
"You don't want to do anything stupid, do you?" Cassidy asked as casually as he might have inquired about the time of day.
"Not at all. I'll assume you don't either."
Cassidy's mouth slipped into a half-smile. "Never assume anything."
Robert watched Rachel struggle in Cassidy's arms, her eyes wide with confusion.
"Let me go, Lane." Rachel's voice shook as she began to struggle against Cassidy's hold.
Cassidy pulled her closer. One arm banded her rib cage. His gun had rested not far from her waist, the gun barrel pointed directly at Robert.
"Let her go, Cassidy," Robert warned.
"Why should I? Who the hell are you?"
"Lane, it's all right. It's Robert—my brother-in-law," Rachel said, becoming more frantic as she tried to glance over her shoulder at Lane. "What's going on?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Robert said. He met Cassidy's stare without flinching. "Cassidy sent me an invitation to meet him in an hour not far from here. I was curious about what he might want, so I started out early. I reached the edge of the ranch and decided to cut back this way, but when I recognized your horse, Rachel, I wanted to see what you were doing on Cassidy land."
Robert saw that his own clandestine meeting came as a surprise to her.
"I—" Rachel began.
"Shut up." Cassidy's tone was as cold as his stare. He roughly jerked Rachel against him, effectively forcing a gasp, cutting her off before she could respond. "I'm just as surprised to see her here as you are, McKenna. She showed up without warning—still poking her nose in where it doesn't belong, just the way she used to when I was a kid."
When Rachel began to struggle in earnest, Robert's hand tightened on his gun. There was no way he could get a clear shot at Cassidy without risking Rachel's safety.
"Throw down your gun, McKenna."
Robert studied Lane Cassidy carefully, completely confused. He dropped his weapon, not once taking his eyes off of Cassidy's gun. "Now, why don't you put yours away, then tell me what this is all about?"
"I wanted to make a little business deal with you, McKenna, but thanks to the lady here, we'll have to postpone our talk for a while."
Robert steeled himself, careful to keep his features from revealing his thoughts. "Let her go and we'll talk, like gentlemen."
"It's too late for that. Why don't you saddle up and ride out of here."
Determined not to leave before he found out what Cassidy had been up to in the first place, Robert shook his head and said, "You must be kidding. There's no way I'd leave Rachel with you. Look at her—she's scared to death."
"Right now there's no way I'm going to take my eyes off you," Lane snapped back. He could feel Rachel trembling as she pulled away from his gun hand. McKenna had surprised the hell out of him. Dragging Rachel into his arms had been an instinctive move aimed at giving McKenna a particular impression of him. He wished there were some way he could have communicated his intentions to Rachel. All he could do now was handle her as gently as possible and yet make it appear as if he would do her harm if Robert pushed him.
He felt her take a deep breath. "Lane, listen to me, I don't know why—"
"Shut up."
Her swift intake of breath followed by a shudder made him wish there were some other way to deal with the situation. He needed to get Rachel alone, so that he could explain everything to her, but at the same time he had to make Robert believe he had no qualms about operating on the wrong side of the law.
"Get back." He motioned with his gun, forcing Robert to back away. "Keep your hands where I can see them."
Lane began edging sideways with Rachel imprisoned against him. He made his way to the spot where his horse was saddled and tethered behind the shack.
"Let her go, Cassidy, I'm warning you," McKenna threatened, but made no move to stop him.
"Stop it, Lane. Let me go!" Rachel began to squirm harder. His foot nearly became entangled in her wide hem. Without taking his eyes off McKenna, he bent his head so that he could whisper in her ear, "Keep it up, but trust me."
When he lifted his head Lane added in a tone he made sure McKenna could not help but hear, "… and that's not all I'll do if you don't settle down."
Rachel gave pause for an instant, glanced quickly up at Lane, then over at Robert. She fought his hold, but with slightly less enthusiasm. Lane gave silent thanks that she trusted him enough to cooperate.
"Untie him," he ordered when they were beside his Appaloosa.
She released the death grip she had on his forearm long enough to untie the horse's reins. Her hands were shaking so badly it took her three times to undo the simple knot.
"Now, mount up," he ordered, keeping a tight grip on the reins with one hand. His gun, still aimed at McKenna, was in the other.
Rachel lifted her skirt, pausing as if she intended to bolt.
"Don't do it, Rachel," Lane said. He met her confused gaze. Time stopped as she stared down at him for one full second, then two.
She mounted up. Lane didn't allow himself the luxury of relief. He wasn't out of the woods yet.
"Hit the ground, McKenna."
McKenna didn't move.
"Do it," Lane demanded.
The man finally knelt down and then stretched out, facedown, on the ground.
Lane shoved his foot in the stirrup and swung up behind Rachel. This time she barely resisted when he pulled her close.
"Yell for help," he whispered against her ear as he kicked Shield into motion.
"No!" she cried out vehemently as they raced past the cabin, quickly leaving the clearing and Robert McKenna behind.
"Good enough," he mumbled.
"Lane Cassidy, you had better have a damned good explanation," Rachel said as he slowed his horse. They ducked in unison to avoid a low branch as they entered the pines and began the climb up the hillside.
"I do. I just hope you believe me when you hear it."
* * *
Chapter Ten
"Shit."
Rachel heard Lane swear under his breath. It
was hard enough to hang on at the breakneck pace he set, but when he cursed and bent low over the horse's neck, it forced her to shift positions and hold on tighter. She tried to glance over his shoulder, wondering if Robert had taken it into his head to follow them. She hoped not.
What she saw was not Robert, but Chase Cassidy heading toward them. Lane pulled up short and his horse thundered to a halt, nearly unseating her.
His gun was out of his holster again before she felt him move.
"Lane, what are you doing? That's Chase!" She felt frantic, furious at her own mounting panic.
Lane went rigid behind her. His arm tightened like an iron vise around her ribs. During the brief but riotous ride, her ribbon had come untied and her long braid loosened. Her hair was hopelessly tangled. She reached up to shove it away from her face.
Lane remained silent, watching his uncle ride toward them. Chase Cassidy reined in a few yards away. His dark eyes, so like Lane's, were shadowed by the brim of his hat.
Outfitted in striped wool pants, blue shirt and open leather vest, Chase appeared a prosperous, middle-aged rancher. His features, dark hair and eyes and tall, well-built frame marked him as a close relation to Lane. They looked enough alike to be taken for father and son, or even brothers.
"Looks like nothing ever changes," Chase said slowly, his gaze focused briefly on the gun Lane leveled at him.
"I guess not." It was all Lane offered by way of explanation. Rachel heard a hint of regret in his voice.
Chase's worried glance grazed her. "Are you all right, Rachel?"
His concern touched her. Angry, confused and feeling very vulnerable, Rachel couldn't stop the instant tears that welled in her eyes. Before she could answer, Lane effectively cut her off.
"She's fine."
"Ramon told me you were up at the line shack," Chase said, watching Lane intently once more.
"I thought you were in California," Lane shot back.
"We got back last night." Chase Cassidy's eyes were shadowed with concern and bitter disappointment. Even though she didn't know why Lane was acting the way he was, even though she wasn't a hundred percent certain she was not in real jeopardy, she wanted to reassure Chase that things were not what they seemed. She couldn't stand the resignation in his eyes. Lane couldn't help but see it, too.
Last Chance Page 15