Codename: Bear: Secret Agent (Codename Universe Book 1)

by Geoffrey C Porter

They ran through the same scenario we just did, and Zen died when they got swarmed, but the boobie-trapped door didn't kill any of them. In fact, Xeon pulled a toolkit out and disarmed the device. That's my girl! What? My girl? Future girl maybe. Any girl who could disarm a bomb was definitely worth chasing.

  I walked with them as they were leaving.

  Zen turned to face me. "You lost?"

  "I just wanted to congratulate Xeon on disarming the bomb," I said.

  "Just want to get in her pants you mean."

  "I'm male!"

  We'd all stopped walking at that point and were facing each other. Xeon leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. Then she turned and walked away. Zen pretended to knee me in the groin, but I knew it was an attack of love, not hate. We went our separate ways.

  I was having trouble sleeping and began to wonder, was anybody else awake? I went to Zen's door first. The buzzer wouldn't ring, and I knew she was asleep. Enigma's door was next in line, and again, nothing. I reached for Xeon's door buzzer. The light said she was awake. I pushed the buzzer.

  She opened the door. She had washed off her makeup for the day, and she was stunning. "No beer?" She asked.

  "All I brought was my wit and charm."

  "They won't be enough," she said with a yawn.

  "How many bombs have you disarmed?" I asked.

  "Never a real one. Only in the danger room."

  I paused for a few moments, giving her a chance to speak.

  "How many men have you killed?" Xeon asked.

  "I haven't been counting. The better question is how many friends have I killed. How many friends have I watched die."

  "I don't like those questions."

  I stared into her eyes for a while. I was so damn horny. Did I love Xeon? Maybe not, but I wanted her. I thought about her a lot. Seeing her go through the danger room had my heart pounding.

  "I think I'm in love," I said.

  "Better not be with me."

  "I'm afraid it is. My heart was racing when you fought in the danger room today."

  She leaned in and whispered, "I think about you sometimes, too."

  I stepped in close to kiss her, and she pulled away.

  "No room for love in the Agency," she said.

  "Sure there is."

  "Didn't they ever explain the odds?"

  My head tilted to the side. "What odds?"

  "Odds you'll survive ten missions and retire. Thousands to one."

  My mind raced quickly, or perhaps my penis was doing the thinking. "All the more reason to love."

  "I'm trying to argue with you."

  "You're doing a fine job of it, but I think it would go quicker if we were naked."

  She crossed her arms over her chest. "You think we're going to get naked?"

  "I sacrificed a small goat to an ancient Egyptian God as a guarantee that we would."

  "Well, in that case, come in."

  I couldn't believe that goat sacrifice line worked, but one can always hope the female has a sense of humor. She asked, "Do you have a condom?"

  I stopped taking off my shirt. I had heard of condoms, but Melissa always was on the pill, and Ussilla would have kicked my ass if I even suggested a condom. "Maybe."

  "No condom, no sex. Unless you just want to have oral sex."

  Or anal sex, but that was kind of gross. "Where would I even get a condom?"

  "Tonight, we 69 or you go home. Find a condom tomorrow."

  I could live with a little 69 action, and it all worked out for the best. We fell asleep in each other's arms. In the morning, we were all having breakfast.

  "Where can I find a condom, Thomas?" I asked quite nonchalantly.

  Thomas grinned wide. Archangel said, "CONDOM?!"

  "I need some," I said.

  The room pretty much fell silent and all eyes turned on Thomas.

  "You know the bottom level of the complex? Basement three?" Thomas asked, speaking loud enough to fill the silent room. "If you go down the south hallway, towards the end, the last vending machine on the right. It's kept stocked."

  "Thanks," I said.

  DogSeven asked, "Why is it kept so far out of the way?"

  "Temptation is an evil thing," Thomas said, "and the last thing we need is a bunch of horny teenagers and twenty-year-olds having a condom dispensary in every hallway. It would give too many people too many ideas."

  "Yes, but now the secret is out," Omni said. "Zen, would you care to join me?"

  Zen's eyes opened wide. "You know I'm into some pain?"

  "No, I didn't know that."

  "Maybe next time," Zen said.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  I headed for the basement. DogSeven followed me. Approaching the vending machine, DogSeven asked, "Do you have money?"

  I didn't. What a waste of time. Still I wanted to see the selection. They were free apparently, with just four large green buttons: S, M, L, XL. I pushed the M button and a six pack of the evil creatures dropped to a slot.

  "You should grab some large ones, too. The medium are a bit small. At least on me," DogSeven said.

  I pushed the L button. Another package dropped down.

  "You're sleeping with Xeon?" DogSeven asked.

  "Yeah."

  "She's hot. I've been making friends with Amber, but she keeps saying, 'Later,' and that's crap."

  "Her prerogative," I said.

  "I just hope she does it with me before this next mission. For luck."

  We don't need luck. We're the best. Then I thought back to RedCat's twisted, mangled flesh. I tried to wrap my head around Xeon's warm embrace instead. Soon enough it was our danger room again. Things went smoothly, and we finished our session. I walked back to Xeon's room with her. She pulled me in close and kissed me. I really didn't enjoy wearing a condom, but it was still physical closeness, which was really what I thought I needed. Did I love her? Maybe. I was definitely attracted to her, and she was a very energetic lover.

  A week passed. Danger room every night. Banging Xeon every night. Life was good. Hell, life was as good as it was going to get. After that week, I decided I did love her. I thought about her all the time. My heart raced at her every touch.

  At breakfast, Thomas spoke very quietly. "We're taking two vans. We need to load our submachine guns up this morning. Finish breakfast, but the clock is ticking."

  We wolfed down our food and headed right for the armory. We grabbed guns and extra drum magazines. Our leather jackets were new, and we put those on. Pistols went into hip holsters, and those of us who favored grenades (which was everybody), pocketed grenades. Xeon and I grabbed toolkits and strapped them to our backs. Enigma slung a medkit over one shoulder.

  We ran to the elevators. Thomas and the women plus Archangel headed for one van. Thomas said, "You're driving, Bear."

  "OK."

  Thomas took the lead, and we drove fast to the airport. Thomas brought two decks of cards, leaving us one odd man. I slept. I valued my nap time, and if I had the chance, I'd just as soon take a nap. Dreamed of vigorously pounding Xeon. It was a good dream.

  I woke up, and all of us ate food bars for lunch. Thomas somehow produced a cooler full of bottled iced coffee, and it was a small pleasure. We landed in Minnesota and had a two hour drive to our target. Satellite photos showed the complex as a sprawled out nest of buildings. Six structures in total, all one story tall. Whether there were basements we didn't know. There was a parking lot in front of the place and in back. The rear serviced semi-trucks, and the front typically had at least forty vehicles parked in it.

  The plan was for Archangel to be stationed outside near the only entrance. Thomas and the women would hit the first building on the right. The noobs and I would hit the left building. And yes, DogSeven was still a fucking noob. We pulled our trucks down a dirt road near the installation then ran towards it. I pushed a door open while Thomas pushed the other door open in the other building. The front room was a kind of reception area with fluffy chairs and a couch. There was a glas
s window like you'd expect in a doctor's office, but nobody behind it.

  There was a door that led back into the building, and I examined it. No trip wires. I pushed on it. It creaked. To my left were doors marked, 'men,' and 'women.' I pointed at Jet and those doors. He nodded. It was originally a doctor's office, with exam rooms dotting along the hallway. Shots rang out across the comm gear. I started spending less time searching, for each exam room. A man stepped around a corner and raised a rifle. Before I could cut him down, he shot me right in the chest. It knocked the wind out of me and pushed me back. DogSeven shot a burst of rounds at the guy, cutting him down.

  I knew we needed to move. Those shots would draw people in from the rest of the building. I grabbed my fragmentation grenade and pulled my arm back all the way. At the first hint of movement down that hallway, I launched the grenade. Three men walked right into the explosion. I smiled.

  I ran down that hallway, passing by offices and exam rooms. Turned the corner at the end, and gunfire greeted me. I had five targets easily, and I swept the room with my submachine gun. Omni was behind me, and he fell. I didn't look at him until I was sure all my targets were dead. There was a tiny space below our helmets at the v-neck out of jackets, and the bullet was dead on. He was a corpse before he hit the floor.

  DogSeven was white knuckling his gun, but he wasn't breaking down or anything. I ran through the next room passing up bodies of dead men. The last door in the room was clearly a fire exit. I stood off to the side and pushed it open. Bullets filled the open space from outside. The door was open wide, but the bullets stopped. I grabbed my white phosphorous grenade, ducked down low, and threw it with all my might. My eyes tracked three targets with AK-47s, but I figured the grenade would do two of them in. I cut the legs out from under the third one. All three men were Caucasians dressed in blue one piece jump suits. Almost like they were wearing some kind of work uniform.

  More gunfire echoed across the comm gear, both Archangel's sniper rifle, and the other team's machine guns. Enigma said, "Xeon is hit."

  "How bad?" I asked.

  "I stopped the bleeding, but she's going into shock."

  "Paramedics are ten minutes away," Thomas said, "but they can't come in until we finish our sweep."

  "I'll stay with her," Enigma said.

  "Archangel, join us."

  "Aye aye, boss," Archangel said.

  Xeon was hurt. I wanted to go and help her so bad, but clearing out the rest of these buildings would bring real help faster than me going to her.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I ran across the grass separating the first building with the next. A garage sized door filled the exterior wall, and two windows sat on each side. There was a number keypad next to the door, but I didn't have a code. The windows were covered with a steel mesh, and everything looked so secure that we'd need a blow torch to crack the seals.

  "We go around," I said. "DogSeven, Jet, go around the right side. I'll take the left."

  "We could smash the windows," DogSeven said.

  "Plexiglass, we'd need a battering ram. Run!"

  I ran. Windows dotted the wall, and there were lights on inside. The sun was inching towards the horizon, but we still had two hours of daylight, at least. I came up on a door. It was a steel reinforced job, again with a keypad. I kept running. I reached the end of the building, and another garage sized door greeted me, with a stupid, piece of shit, numeric keypad.

  I tapped the comm gear. "Did we bring any explosives? This building is tight."

  DogSeven and Jet turned the corner and faced me. Jet said, "The last building, the door is propped open."

  "Aye, two kilos of C-4 in our truck," Thomas radioed. "We might be able to bypass the security. The building on our side is secured, too."

  "Let's regroup and take out the last building," I said.

  Thomas and Zen waved at us like idiots. I ran towards the last building. Stepping into a darkened room first, I triggered my infrared sensors. A man was waving his hands in the air. "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"

  I always shoot. No, I noticed there was a chain attached to his ankle. The man had no weapons, so I nodded to him and stepped into the next room. There was a kid maybe sixteen comatose on the floor with a chain on his ankle. We found three other people in chains in the building, but no threats. One of the two women knew where the keys were kept, and we called ambulances for Xeon and the people we freed. They told us they were forced to work in the factory. Centurian threatened to kill their families, if they tried to escape.

  Thomas was rigging C-4 on one of the garage sized doors when the sun started to officially set. I think Thomas was using way too much C-4. I figured 200 grams would rip a hole in those garage doors, and he was using a full kilo. We stood really far away. Thomas said, "Fire in the hole." He pushed the button.

  The entire building exploded in a huge ball of green and blue fire. A mushroom cloud of toxic multi-color smoke drifted into the sky. The whole structure was destroyed in the fireball. Thomas laughed. "Let's do the other one."

  The heat from the first blaze warmed my skin as I stood guard over Thomas as he planted the other kilo of C-4. We moved farther away than last time. Thomas hit the detonator, and a building sized ball of red and yellow flame bloomed. A large cloud of black smoke climbed into the sky. The walls were completely blown outwards from the explosions.

  "We're polluters," Zen said.

  "That's a very good point," Thomas said, "and now I feel bad. I'm very pro Earth."

  "It's your fault."

  Thomas started whimpering. "It is!"

  "You should have used a crowbar."

  "Those buildings were tight as a drum," I said.

  "I like blowing stuff up," Thomas said.

  DogSeven took off his helmet and mask. "I'm hungry."

  Jet said, "I want pizza."

  "Food bars on the plane," Thomas said.

  "That's two hours away."

  "Enigma is covered in blood. We can't pass for civilians."

  Blood from my girlfriend. I asked, "How is Xeon?"

  "She'll live, but she hates you now," Enigma said.

  "What?"

  "That's what she said before I gave her the painkillers. 'Tell Bear, I hate him.'"

  She had to be joking! I punched her on the arm. "Hey!"

  She stepped out of my reach. "You stole her from me anyhow, so I stole her back."

  "We've got to get out of here and get to the food!" Jet said.

  "There are food bars in the back of the vans," Thomas said. "I always bring extra food bars."

  "Yay!"

  Jet cared more about food than my girlfriend. Little bastard. He was almost dangerously thin, even for an Asian. Nobody seemed to care that Omni got hauled off in a body bag. Maybe we were just slowly dealing with our grief. Honestly, I didn't know him that well, but he was still a comrade in arms.

  We walked back to the vans and drove to the airport. Nancy called on Thomas's cell phone. Thomas repeated, "Mmmhhmmm. Mmmhmmm." Over and over. He hung up the phone.

  "There's a distribution center in Wisconsin. We're flying there instead of home. We sleep as much as we can on the plane, then we hit the complex in the middle of the night."

  "We don't even get a night's rest?" DogSeven asked.

  "Or hot food?" Jet said with big puppy dog eyes.

  Zen reached over and kicked Jet on the shin. "You're soldiers now, grow up."

  Chapter Forty

  Thomas said, "I have good news."

  Everybody except me smiled, because I knew Thomas.

  "We're going in with stunners," Thomas said. "They expect light resistance, and they want us to capture everybody."

  Archangel stood up very quickly and bounced his big head on a rafter in the ceiling. "Oww!"

  "What he meant to say was, 'that's crap,'" Zen said.

  Thomas reached in his pocket and pulled out a lighter and joint. "Orders."

  Enigma grabbed the joint out of his hand and broke it. "No wa
y are you smoking in this tiny closed in space with us with no ventilation."

  Thomas began to weep. "It'll help you rest. In fact, all of us should be asleep."

  "It's not going to help me rest," I said.

  "But you don't know."

  "I know enough to know I don't want to find out."

  Thomas put his lighter away and produced what looked like a square of foil. He unwrapped a corner and broke off a tiny brownie cube, thrusting it in his mouth.

  Enigma said, "Edibles!"

  "I brought enough for everybody," Thomas said.

  "Nobody wants any."

  "Sleep! And you can consider that an order."

  I curled up on a bench and drifted off. Immediately after that, Thomas woke us all by blowing a foghorn. Everybody growled at him. "Get your stunners. Stow your submachine guns."

  Jet asked, "We can keep our pistols?"

  "Yes. Take plenty of zip ties, too."

  We crammed in one truck, and Thomas drove like lightning. It was three am, and we had the roads to ourselves. Local law enforcement was watching for us, so we were fine. It's like, the locals knew about us, but they could be a source of great headaches. I heard stories about agent guys getting locked up in holding cells by locals for weeks at a time. Maybe my mind was wandering from being so short on sleep. I asked, "What's the drill?"

  Thomas pressed the gas down even farther, pushing the truck to 140kph. "Front door, back door, garage door. Archangel, Jet, and myself will hit the front door. Enigma and Zen will sneak around the back. DogSeven and Bear will go in through the garage. We have small shape charges. Stick them to the door, back up, and radio everybody. We blast all three doors at the same time."

  We pulled up to a secure gate, and the guard waved us through. Thomas parked the truck a block from the target. Enigma and Zen grabbed the shape charges and took off in a run. DogSeven picked up our charges, and we ran. Archangel handled the explosives for the front door.

  The building was three stories tall, and lights were on in a few of the windows. It had a kind of looping driveway with three cars in wait, plus the four car attached garage. The whole thing was painted a light blue with white trim. DogSeven planted a charge below the door knob and above it. We backed up a good twenty meters.