by Rose Fall
They say time heals all wounds. And I wanted to believe them. So I thought maybe the hole Jessie left in my heart wasn’t a wound but just a souvenir. A trophy even, because for a little while, I’d gotten to love the kindest, most patient, and honest person I’d ever known. And as much as that hurt now, I still felt like I’d won something.
See? I really had turned over a new leaf.
“What’s going on with Ash and Jules?” Rachel asked as I tied off the braid I’d pulled her hair into.
I smiled at the nickname. He would probably kill us if he knew all of us called him that now. He could thank his brother.
I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me.
“They fight a lot. I think they’re on a break. It’s kind of a touchy subject, so I try not to bring it up.”
Ash and Jules were having a hard time with the long distance thing, mostly Jules to be honest. He seemed to want the best of both worlds-all of the perks of having a girlfriend with none of the responsibility. When they scheduled their Skype dates, he often missed them. Ash had driven to Charleston to see him three times, but he still hadn’t stepped foot on our campus. None of this surprised me, but I’d wanted to be wrong.
The terrible truth was that sometimes when I really missed Jessie, I would tell myself that that was better than going through what Ash and Jules were right now.
“Well then, I guess I’ll bring it up!” Rachel said as she turned towards me. “I’ll have to tell Jessie to kick that kid’s ass for me.”
I stared at my lap. I knew that Rachel and Jessie still talked, and sometimes I envied their relationship.
Aside from the mug, I hadn’t heard anything from him.
“Where is that little booger anyway?” Rachel asked, subtly changing the subject.
“I texted Ash two hours ago and she said she’d be here in two hours. She was trying to divide the week between her parents, so she spent the first half of it with her mom in Asheville. I guess there could have been traffic,” I shrugged.
The bell rang, punctuating my sentence. “Or not,” I said, standing up.
“Wait, Elle!”
I turned to her. Rachel gripped onto my arm. Her eyes widened. “That might not be-”
“Eli, come downstairs right now!” Lauren exclaimed.
I yanked my arm free and turned back towards my bedroom door.
“Is that Ash?” I asked as I ran out of my room and down the stair.
Lauren’s voice had sounded urgent. Maybe it was mom’s new boyfriend. She wasn’t a fan.
I could hear Rachel running down the stairs after me. I knew she would be excited to see Ash.
“Wait, Eli there’s something I was supposed to tell you! I don’t know it this should be a surprise-”
I was listening to her, I even turned to give her a questioning look, but I kept walking towards the door.
And then, my heart stopped. It did not restart for twelve seconds.
“Jessie?” I gasped when it restarted.
I took the last two steps towards the front door.
I could hear Rachel behind me. “Surprise!” She whispered weakly. But I could not focus on that now. I concentrated on making my mouth work.
God, he looked great. His hair was a little longer and he wore a button down that matched his eyes, fueling my obsession.
I took an automatic step back as he came inside, as if this was all too much. It was.
He took another step towards me, grabbing my hands before I could step back again. He was practically bouncing. He was talking so quickly while I was using all of my energy to focus on breathing and blinking.
“Do you remember that night, over the summer, in the fort…?” He questioned urgently.
I nodded. I couldn’t forget.
“Do you remember that I was supposed to tell you a secret?”
I smiled, and then I nodded.
He continued. “Well, I never did. And…a deal is a deal, right?”
My smile grew wider. I nodded again. He was like a hyperactive kid right now. Reason three hundred and seven why I’d missed him…
“Well, here goes…” He took a short, deep breath and then he said; “I’m in love with you.”
I continued to stand there, motionless. I’d heard him, but the words didn’t register.
“Still…” he said, correcting himself. He released one of my hands to cup my cheek. “I’m still in love with you.”
My eyes turned toward the front door. I saw Ash walking in.
“Don’t mind me,” she whispered as she tiptoed in.
She moved towards the living room, and that was when I noticed Rachel and Lauren peeking over the living room wall, staring at us.
“Carry on,” Rachel whispered-shouted when I looked at her.
Jessie didn’t take his eyes off of me. It was as if he was too focused to notice them at all. His thumb continued to caress my cheek. I turned my attention back to him as he slid the rest of his fingers into my hair.
“You changed your hair,” he said suddenly.
I shook my head, “This is my natural hair color.”
As if it was normal for us to be talking about this right now.
“It suits you,” he smirked.
Reason three hundred and eight…
My heart swelled. We hadn’t seen each other in four months. Of course he would tell me he was in love with me-still- and then get distracted by my hair all within thirty seconds of us seeing each other again.
“Say something,” he pleaded. His brows furrowed.
I smiled. “Hi Jessie,” I said simply.
He smiled back, “Hi beautiful.” His eyes were still searching.
“Say something else,” he said anxiously.
“You’re crazy,” I said with a laugh. I still couldn’t believe any of this was happening.
He nodded, “I know.”
I knew what he was searching for, but I’d never seen him so impatient before, so I decided to draw it out.
We stood in silence. I was okay with not speaking, as long as he was still touching me.
“Say something else,” he whispered impatiently.
I let out a slow breath, “I missed you.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “Something else,” he whispered again.
My breath caught. Not because of his request, but because of the way he was looking at me. Like my answer would determine the fate of the world.
I opened my mouth. And then I paused. Everything was about to change. Everything I thought I’d learned-about myself, about love-was about to be tested. It scared the shit out of me. And that was how I knew this was right.
“I love you,” I said excitedly, finally matching his urgency.
I could hear my sisters squealing and cheering behind us as he leaned in to kiss me.
And then we begin again.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank: Sherreka Burton, my beta reader, for giving me such honest and extensive feedback.
Hilda Reyes for being so kind and talented, and for giving a face to my book. You make dreams come true.
My older sister, Rokhaya Fall, who lets me sleep on her couch because I don’t make any money.
Lastly, I would like to thank everyone that has supported my writing dreams and anyone actually reading the acknowledgements. You’re heroes.
Rose Fall does not know what to put in her bio. She is unmarried and has no permanent home.
Visit her at rosesarecool.wordpress.com for more interesting facts.
Twitter: @rosesarecool
Also by this author:
Heart: A romantic short story collection
0%); -o-filter: grayscale(100%); -ms-filter: grayscale(100%); filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share