“You’re right.” Call me stupid, but Tess’s angry outburst sat a lot better with me than the frigid distance she’d tried to put between us. That didn’t stop cold from worming its way into my chest and freezing my lungs solid with how deeply I’d failed everyone who’d ever counted on me. I was done failing, and I’d apologize to Tess as many times as she needed me to. “I’m sorry. For things I’ve done. For lying to you. I would change so much if I could.”
Her eyes squeezed shut, clamping so tight her nose scrunched up. “I know.” When she opened her eyes again, the light inside them was different, softer somehow. “And then I think: what’s done is done. He’s made a new choice. Changed. He’s helping. He’s helping me. And he’s mine now, so just move on.”
Mine. The word electrified my heart, heating it up and making it beat too hard. I wasn’t even sure Tess understood how true that was. I’d been bone-deep devoted to getting my docks back, no matter the cost to myself or anyone else—until that cost had been the woman next to me.
Bone-deep devotion to her now thickened my throat, giving me a sandpaper voice that scratched out in a low, rough rasp. “I hated what I did. Hunting people down for the Dark Watch? That’s not something I ever wanted. I did it because I backed myself into a corner of epic proportions, and it was either give up my family’s docks forever, work for Bridgebane, or start hacking banks.” I looked at her, willing her to at least try to understand. “There are some sums that are just…astronomical. There’s no way to make that kind of money through regular means.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“It’s not an excuse,” I blurted out. “It’s an explanation.” And it sounded weak to my ears.
“So explain. How does one become my uncle’s top bounty hunter for the Dark Watch?”
I tapped my fingers against my knee, remembering how fast it had happened. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to give myself time to think. “The opportunity just presented itself one day when Bridgebane needed a quick repair on something. I was at the base of Nuthatch, moping around my lost docks, as usual. He asked me who in the area could fix a finicky cruiser. I could, so I did. Figured I’d tinker with an engine and earn a little money.”
She frowned. “Uncle Nate was on Albion 5?”
I had no idea why, but he’d definitely been in Albion City not long after life as I knew it fell apart. “About ten years ago. After I got his cruiser up and running, he offered me a one-time job to test me out. It turned out I was good at bounty hunting. Jobs kept coming in. I advanced to his elite force. Currency piled up, and I put it all aside to buy back the docks as soon as I could. It was only ever a job to me. A means to an end. I didn’t do it for fun.”
“But you did it anyway.” Bitter disgust from my girlfriend made me feel like shit, especially when I deserved every ounce of her outrage and could add my own self-loathing to it.
“Yeah, I did it anyway. But now I’ve stopped. Because of you, Tess, I changed my life.”
Something more brittle, like hurt, jerked across her expression. “So it’s my fault you lost everything?”
“No!” Shit. I ran a hand through my short hair, gripping the back of my neck. “Changed my life for the better. I met you, got to know you, and I realized you were the kind of person I wanted to be. I didn’t like who I’d become, but I liked you, and I wanted to like myself again.”
Tess digested that in silence, mashing her lips back and forth. Finally, “Do you—”
A robotic voice coming from the cruiser’s com unit interrupted whatever she was about to say. “Bungalow 39. Two-night reservation. Please proceed to these coordinates.”
I didn’t bother looking at the numbers that popped up on the screen. I could walk the Temple Lands of Reaginine with my eyes closed and had been stomping around the nearby jungle and taking ill-advised dips in the Gano River since I was a kid. One Aisé bungalow or another had been my own personal paradise for three weeks of every year of my life until a little more than a decade ago. When my parents died, I stopped coming. I didn’t want to be here alone. Praying could be done anywhere, and honestly, I didn’t do it that often. Now that I was back, though, something did feel holier here. More sacred. But this place equated family to me, and I didn’t have one anymore.
Or if I was lucky, maybe I did. I glanced at Tess. It didn’t matter to me that she was skeptical about the church. Reaginine had more to offer than the Sky Mother and a place to worship.
I slowly dropped in altitude and headed for the riverside resort nestled in the heart of the Gano Jungle. The weight on my chest wouldn’t let up, but I didn’t know if that was because Tess was mad at me for things I couldn’t change or because the last time I was here, I was a university student who’d gone fishing with his dad and read out loud to his mother. She always said that poetry sounded better when you could just close your eyes, sit back, and enjoy it.
Tess sighed and scrubbed both hands over her face. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” I was the one with bad decisions darkening my soul in every corner.
“Sometimes, I can’t get out of this cycle. In my head, you know? Thinking about things. Replaying them. Good and bad. Over and over. I guess that’s why people talk about love–hate relationships.”
I arched a brow in her direction. “You hate me?”
“No.” She laughed a little. “But I hate things you’ve done, even though I know you had good reasons. And I know you want to do things differently from now on. I guess it all just boiled up a minute ago, like some messed-up accusation soup spiced with…I don’t know…” She shook her head. “Lust and rage?”
“The rage is justified.” I slid her a slow smile. “I can work with lust.”
Her lips twitching, she swatted me with a soft backhand across the chest.
“And light slapping,” I added.
Tess laughed. The fading light didn’t hide the electric-blue spark of interest in her eyes when they met mine across the center aisle.
“Who gets to do the slapping?” She looked eager as hell, and I grinned as I flew us over the hazy dark-green jungle, relieved we were done arguing.
“I’m a firm believer in equality. I say we take turns.”
She nodded. “Where do you like to be slapped?” she asked, utterly serious.
I chuckled, that heaviness finally lifting from my chest. I breathed deeply for the first time in what felt like hours. I loved the way Tess just said things like “I’m fully vaccinated and on birth control” or “Where do you like to be slapped?” She was worth every second of the agonizing decision I’d had to make on Albion 5. Not to mention this whole bounty-on-my-head, run-for-your-lives, suicide-mission thing we had going on now. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
I threw her a heated look. “Slap me anywhere you want, starshine. I’m up for it.”
“Anywhere?” Her eyes dipped to my lap. “Up for it?”
“Well, let’s avoid some places, right? Or it might cut the fun short.”
She grinned. Then the thickening jungle caught her eye, and she leaned toward the window again. “It’s beautiful! So lush and green.” She watched the treetops go by, and I lowered us even more, making sure she got the best look possible without disturbing the birds and other creatures living in the forest.
“What’s that?” she asked, pointing down. “It’s like the trees are connected by something. Woven together.”
“Vines. They’re as thick as my arm in places, sometimes thicker. And little creatures run across them, going from tree to tree.”
“Like monkeys?”
Her uncle had called her monkey. They were long extinct, too sensitive to have survived the downfall of Earth, but she must’ve read a book about them. “Something like that. Here, they’re called ganokos.” I tilted my head toward the rolling blanket of textured greens. Pockets of mist hung in clearings and swir
led around leaves. “All that, as far as you can see, is the Gano Jungle. And see that river? The Gano. It’s full of terrifying things. Fish with teeth the size of your hand. Reptiles. Snakes. Creatures that belong in nightmares.”
Tess slowly pulled away from the window, still peering down.
“But there are places where it’s safe enough to be on the banks. For fishing. Hiking. Maybe a swim, if you’re really careful.” I hadn’t always been careful. Kids did stupid shit, and I was surprised I’d come back in one piece—or at all—from some of my jungle adventures. A close call when I was sixteen helped me realize I wasn’t indestructible. As an adult, I had to wonder what the hell my parents were thinking, letting me run wild along the river.
“I know of a few safe spots to take a dip.” I glanced at Tess, a smile pulling at my lips. “And the water’s warm here—unlike in some places.”
She laughed. “The beach on Albion 5 or my old shower?”
“Both.” I shuddered. “Either.”
She watched the tropical forest go by, her curious eyes seeming to gobble up every detail and color. The subtle tilt to her spine still angled her body away from the window, but the excitement on her face and the way her hand pressed against the clear panel said she was ready to brave the jungle. “I can’t swim,” she murmured.
“I know. But I bet you’re a quick learner.”
Her wide, giddy smile snuffed every crazy and heart-wrenching moment of the last few weeks out like a candle. I didn’t give a damn about the past anymore. My only concern was the future.
“You’ll do great.” I smiled back at her, my chest lurching with the privilege of getting to be the one to bring exciting firsts into Tess’s life from now on, hopefully starting with skinny-dipping.
“Do you think we’ll have time?” she asked. “To swim, I mean?”
I took us down lower as the first of the bungalows appeared by the river. “We don’t meet your uncle until tomorrow, universal time. Daylight here is ahead of that clock by several hours. We’ll have all morning before he’ll even technically start looking for us.”
“He didn’t give an exact time, so who knows when he’ll even show up,” she said. “Hour one, hour twelve, hour twenty-three… We could be waiting for ages.”
“Hour one. Bridgebane’s always on time.”
Tess stopped fidgeting, her sudden stillness making me look over. She frowned at her lap. “You know him better than I do. I guess I’ll take your word for it.”
I didn’t like the hurt in her voice—or the fact that she tried to cover her pain with notes of bitterness. “I might know him, but he was still willing to shoot me and put a huge bounty on my head. You, he won’t touch.”
“I can’t imagine why.” She sniffed and looked out the window again, avoiding my gaze.
Couldn’t she? Whatever Bridgebane’s crimes in Tess’s eyes, he’d spared her life twice, against orders. Her uncle obviously cared about her.
She exhaled, definitely closing the subject with the long breath she let out. “Isn’t this kind of far from the Grand Temple? There’s plenty of docking space for personal cruisers around the Holy Hollow, and people usually just sleep in their transportation units. Shouldn’t we stay closer to tomorrow’s meeting spot?”
“Sleeping in this cruiser is for contortionists only, and I had enough of it during those first days on board the Endeavor. It’s not that far, and the Aisé Resort runs a private shuttle to the Temple Lands on a regular basis, if you prefer that to the cruiser tomorrow.” The resort shuttle would be more anonymous, although I trusted Bridgebane to come alone and didn’t think anyone else would be looking for us on Reaginine right now.
Tess went back to watching the scenery. The river snaked through the darkening green like a rainbow serpent, reflecting the sunset colors. Purple, pink, yellow. A splash of red faded into dull orange. The fiery sky made a feral backdrop for the even wilder jungle.
I rubbed my jaw, the pads of my fingers scratching over light stubble. I’d missed this place. Or maybe I just missed my parents. Memories flooded back as though carried on the muddy rapids of the Gano. Some made me want to smile. Others made my heart twist. A few were on the tip of my tongue to share with Tess, but I didn’t trust my voice to come out as anything other than thick and hoarse.
When the main lodge of the resort came into view, I finally looked at the exact coordinates and located Bungalow 39. The private cottage was on the small side, but it was just Tess and me, so I didn’t mind. The landing pad was spacious and unshaded by the thick vegetation cutting us off from any sign of other people. The cruiser would recharge nicely starting at sunrise. I popped out all the delicate solar panels before powering down and getting out. My first breath of humid Reaginine air came within a hairsbreadth of choking me up. I blinked and cleared my throat.
Tess hopped down on her side as I rounded the cruiser. She shivered, looking around. “I’ve never felt so isolated in my entire life.”
That sounded ideal to me, but I didn’t want Tess feeling marooned on a strange planet. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Listen.” Opening my ears to the jungle’s chorus, I tilted my face up to the first stars. Night fell slowly here. It was only dusk, but silver dots still splashed across the deepening sky like diamonds tossed up to the heavens in a careless handful.
Tess cocked her head. At first, only a breeze seemed to whisper through the trees. Then the chirping of insects began to fill the spaces between warm gusts that smelled of jungle mist, rich earth, and foliage. The soft, gurgling music beneath the other sounds was the swiftly moving water of the Gano.
“Is that the river?” She looked downhill in the right direction.
I nodded. She shivered again, even though she pulled her sleeves up. Goose bumps peppered her arms.
“How can you be cold in this heat?” I tucked her closer to me.
“I’m not cold. I’m freaking terrified.” With another shudder, Tess leaned into my side. “I’m absolutely certain a horde of flervers is about to jump on me.”
Don’t laugh. Don’t do it. “Flervers are solitary creatures. And in Sector 2, like I said before.”
“Nope. They travel the galaxy in hordes and eat space rats for dinner.”
“And you got this from what source of information?” I asked, my smile two seconds from bursting.
“From my overactive imagination. It’s very helpful.”
I grinned. “Try to rein in thoughts of death and destruction by flerver. Seriously, they’re like beavers.”
“I don’t like beavers, either.”
“Have you ever seen a beaver?”
“No.” Tess huffed. “They’re extinct. You know that as well as I do.”
I smiled against Tess’s long bangs that were always slipping forward and kissed her temple. “Okay. Let’s go inside before a Sector-hopping horde of hungry flervers smells your fear and zeroes in on us from across the galaxy.”
“Don’t make fun of me.”
I put my hand over my heart. “I would never.”
Tess’s scowl didn’t fool me. The humor in her eyes told the real story. “They’ll eat you first. More muscle.”
“If it keeps you alive, I’m happy to sacrifice my biceps.”
“Good. Plenty to gnaw on.” She nodded in apparent satisfaction. “But really, you should just stop siccing flervers on me.”
Laughter bubbled in my chest. My steps more buoyant than in years, I urged her toward the bungalow. “I’m your navigator, but I still might need a map to show me exactly how the conversation got to this point.”
Tess slapped her arm. Grimacing, she brushed away a crushed bug, leaving a big smear of red near her elbow. “I’ll draw you one inside with the blood of my enemies. Sound good?”
“Sounds hot.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“C
ome on. Your safe haven awaits.” Or maybe it was my safe haven. How had I ever stayed away this long?
I strode forward and opened the decorative shutters hiding the console next to the bungalow’s front door. With the code from my least used bank account, I transferred the required currency units for a two-night stay. A key card emerged once the payment went through. I swiped it in front of the lock, opening the door for Tess. She stepped past me and went inside.
Soft lighting automatically clicked on, even though it wasn’t truly dark out yet. Tess stopped dead. “It’s open.” She looked from side to side, taking in the two-and-a-half walls and partial roof above us. “It’s amazing. But open.”
“Netting covers the whole patio and attaches to the house. It’s sheer but electrified. Nothing gets through uninvited, big or small. I promise. No bugs. No critters.”
She moved farther in to examine the large landscaped area with flowers, shrubs, a pool, and plush outdoor furniture. “What if it rains?”
“The netting is waterproof, partially UV-blocking, and totally impenetrable to wildlife.” It even blended seamlessly into the environment, held up by tall posts made to look like trees with branches and vines connecting them. “It’s not just draped against the ground, either. It’s buried deep and pinned down. You’re perfectly safe inside the house and patio area. I’ve seen a cyclodile try to break through and make zero progress.”
Tess’s head snapped around. “What’s a cyclodile?”
“A one-eyed reptile.” I nodded down the manicured lawn, which sloped toward the river below us. “From the Gano over there.”
Absently chewing her bottom lip, Tess left the open-plan “indoor” area and started exploring the patio. She poked her nose into a few of the flowering plants, dipped her fingers in the pool and swirled them, and then sat in the center of the decadent U-shaped couch, facing nature head-on like I knew she’d rarely had the chance to do in her lifetime.
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