He pushed my hand aside with his face. “Kiss you? I’m going to eat you alive.” His words hit me right before his tongue did, all gritty promise and slick wet heat.
I sprawled on my back as Shade gave me the scorching licks I’d been craving. He sucked, and I writhed like a live wire, barreling toward climax. He gripped my bottom and lifted with both hands, bringing me up to his mouth and feasting. Our gazes crashed together over my bowed body, and I suddenly knew what I wanted more than this.
I reached for his shoulders. “You. Now. Inside me. Don’t wait.”
Shade rose over me as I drew up my knees. I’d never forget the look on his face in a million years or with brainwashing. He pushed inside me, and I almost shattered. I tried to pull him in deeper, angling my hips up and dragging at his back with my heels. He started to rock, slowly at first and then fast and hard, catapulting me into instant orgasm. Relief hurtled through me. I shouted hoarsely, clinging to him and pulsing in mind-numbing pleasure. Shade shuddered, his breath battering my neck. He gripped me hard, thrusting almost too deep, and then the tension ebbed from his body along with a deep, groaning rasp of sound. He dropped in a boneless heap. Within seconds, he must have realized how heavy he was and rose up enough to kiss me. I kissed him back, a long, euphoric, tender kiss, thinking that breathing was overrated when balanced against Shade’s delicious weight.
“Hmmm.” The drawn-out, satisfied sigh was all I could manage in terms of speech.
“I wish there was a word for you,” Shade murmured against my lips.
I threaded my fingers through his short hair, running them over his scalp to his nape and then back again. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how to describe you. Or what we just did. It’s all just…feelings.” He rolled onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling and absently rubbing his chest.
I turned to face him. “Is that a bad thing?” He seemed to be frowning.
“No.” Looking at me again, he looped his arm around my shoulders and tugged me flush against him. “Nothing with you is bad.”
I grinned, snuggling into him.
A few minutes later, Shade lifted his head and looked at the door. “Did someone feed Bonk? I don’t remember seeing much food in his bowl in the kitchen.”
“I don’t know.” I sat up and reached for my shirt, even though it felt as if a lead weight were pinning me to the soft bed and to Shade’s warm body. I’d never be able to sleep without making sure Bonk had what he needed.
“Stay here. Relax.” Shade got up, pressed a kiss to my forehead, and started to dress. “I’ll make sure he’s all set for the night.”
I sank back down. “Thank you.”
He smiled at me as I slid under the covers, helping to tug them up and make me comfortable. Then he turned and slipped out to go check on Bonk. The door closed behind him, and a flash flood of happiness rose inside me, filling me to the brim. My heart tugged, and that was when I knew for sure I was in love with Shade Ganavan. There were men who fell mindlessly into a sex stupor. And there were men who got up and took care of the things that mattered to them.
Chapter 12
SHADE
The next morning, the crew of the Endeavor eventually started wandering into the kitchen, Bonk included. Tess got breakfast going while Jax made the coffee. Merrick and I both scanned the news on our tablets, reading titles and snippets out loud if they seemed interesting or pertinent. The GIN Project was everywhere. Logistically, it would be nearly impossible to process everyone in the galaxy in less than the six months the Overseer had given, but he was obviously doing everything he could to scare people into getting their chip and number as quickly as possible.
They’d been fine living their lives yesterday and the day before that, and before then also. Now, suddenly if they didn’t get shot up with a GIN, some vague catastrophe was going to befall them, their family, maybe their entire Sector? And people actually bought into this shit. It didn’t seem possible.
At the same time, how much would I have questioned the GIN Project a month ago? If I were truly honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I liked the answer.
“Fake bacon or fake eggs?” Tess held up two boxes for everyone’s inspection.
“What makes it fake?” I asked, looking over the choices.
“Well, I guess I should say reconstituted.” She made her this-is-going-to-be-nasty-but-we’ll-get-through-it face. The expression was par for the course in the Endeavor’s kitchen. “And there’s probably some additional mystery stuff thrown into the mix. Adds protein or something. Puts hair on your chest.” She squinted to read the ingredients on the egg container and then seemed to think better of it and lowered the box.
An image of my kitchen on Albion 5 flashed in my mind, the cupboards and shelves stocked with the fresh food and the healthy eating choices that came so easily with planet-dwelling life. I blinked the picture out of existence. It wasn’t relevant. “I vote for both.”
“Me too,” Merrick murmured, his nose still buried in his tablet.
“Jax?” Tess asked.
“When have I ever said no to either of those things?” Jax’s easy smile was one I’d never seen directed at anyone but Tess. In general, the man redefined the word tense.
“Both it is.” She poured a small cup of water into a pan, added some brown cubes from both boxes to it, and started mashing it all together. “And toast.”
I didn’t expect Tess to put the bacon and eggs together in one pan, but they probably both tasted more or less the same, and they ended up in the same place anyway, so why the hell not?
Toast was good. We still had fresh bread and butter from the Aisé Resort.
Fiona arrived, looking saucy in a civilian outfit I’d never seen on her before. High heels, tight pants, and a black leather top that laced up the back clung to her slim frame, showing me just how tiny she was without her boxy lab coat. Like a corset, her top had no straps and showed a good amount of cleavage. She’d left her hair down, which had to be the most unusual part in a whole lot of different.
I glanced at Jax. His jaw hung slack. His eyes dipped over her and then snapped back to her face, but Fiona had already turned, her dark hair sliding over her bare shoulders as she reached into the cabinet for the daily orange she always made sure the crew ate.
“What happened to your lab coat, Fi?” Tess asked, adjusting the temperature on the cooking surface from high to medium as the food expanded and began to pop.
“I don’t need it where I’m going this morning,” Fiona answered. She left that hanging in the air and so did Tess.
“And where’s that?” Jax eventually asked, sounding as though he’d swallowed rocks and was trying to cough them back up.
Leaning her hip against the counter, Fiona peeled the orange. The small smile she tried hard to hide told me she knew she was affecting Jax. The question was, did he know it? Jax was a brick wall in more ways than one.
“Frank’s taking me to a new greenhouse one of his friends is running.”
“You can’t just walk around like that,” Jax said.
Fiona arched her brows at him. “I can’t?”
“It’s…cold here,” Jax grated out.
She shrugged. “I’ll take a jacket. I have one that matches my pants.”
Jax couldn’t help but look at her legs again before dragging his gaze back up. His eyes seemed a little wider than usual, but otherwise, the guy just looked frozen in place and slightly flushed. Fiona watched him coolly, the contrast between her space-pale complexion and nearly black hair more arresting than ever in that surprising outfit. Throw in her vibrant green eyes and petite size, and you got something that was almost ethereal.
“I might end up with some new seeds for the Endeavor,” Fiona said. “Apparently, they’ve had good luck with some classic fruits here lately. And I’m not sure I’ll get anything from that purple clawberry. It kin
d of took a beating on the climb out of the elevator.”
“Fresh fruit?” Tess’s eyes brightened.
My mouth started to water, but that might’ve been from the smell of trigrain nut bread toasting. I was pretty sure it wasn’t the fake eggs and bacon. “Peaches?” I asked hopefully.
Fiona snorted. “Not likely. Besides, I don’t think I can grow a tree in the cargo hold unless we cart in a whole lot of dirt from somewhere. I’m good, but I’m not a miracle worker. Most of my stuff is hydroponic.”
I grinned, my stomach rumbling. “Worth asking.”
Jax finished preparing the coffee, now visibly ignoring the fact that Fiona was gorgeous and dressed like a goddess who wanted to get a little dirty. Merrick didn’t seem to notice, and I had eyes, but that didn’t mean I was interested. I set aside the news and got up to put our plates on the table.
Fiona doled out the orange, and while I’d set a place for Mwende, who hadn’t shown up yet, Fiona gave the extra part to Merrick. We all stared at that double portion, but only Jax, Tess, and Fiona suddenly got very quiet. I knew from something Tess had said that Fiona always gave the extra part to Shiori. The blind woman hadn’t known she was getting more than the rest of them, and no one ever told her.
Mwende walked into the kitchen with a clipped stride and a no-nonsense attitude. Despite that, for the first time in our presence, she seemed to hesitate.
“Here’s your spot.” I pointed to the empty plate next to Tess’s. It was where I knew Miko used to sit.
Mwende didn’t move. “I can find my food elsewhere when we’re not flying.”
“Just eat, Sanaa.” Tess dumped a heap of vaguely bacon-and-egg-shaped globs onto the lieutenant’s plate before doing the same around the table.
Mwende sat. Merrick looked at her, at his plate, and then back at her again. He tossed the extra orange wedge at her. Mwende caught it with whip-fast reflexes and without comment.
Jax filled the mugs and set them on the table. As he leaned over to give Fiona hers, he muttered, “Didn’t know that’s how gardeners dressed these days.”
Fiona sipped, hiding a smile behind her cup of coffee.
Tess had shared some of Jax’s story with me. He’d lost his family to a Dark Watch raid on his home planet. Wife, children, visiting sister—all destroyed in mere minutes before the soldiers had trapped him and sent him off to prison. What Jax didn’t seem to realize, even seven years later, was that moving forward with his own life didn’t mean forgetting or betraying them.
Considering his past, I was surprised he’d gone along with Mwende being on the ship, even temporarily. It was because he trusted Tess implicitly. But Tess could make mistakes, just like anyone. I really hoped putting her faith in her uncle and Mwende wouldn’t be one of them.
Fiona’s posture at the table was impeccable, which highlighted her bare neck and shoulders. She was clearly on a campaign to shake Jax out of the past and make him see her. That hadn’t seemed like the case before she’d been shot and Jax had gone nearly catatonic with grief and worry. He obviously loved her. Did he think losing her would devastate him any less just because he wouldn’t admit it?
Across from me, Jax took his seat next to Fiona’s at the table and plunked his mug down heavily. Was he pissed off and fighting it? Or did he not even understand why he was fuming to begin with? That was always irritating as hell for anyone.
“You look like you’re about to turn tricks for vegetables.” He glanced at Fiona sideways.
Fiona whipped her head around. Her brows slashed together. “What the fuck, Jax?”
His eyes dipped very pointedly to her chest. This time, he made it obvious he was looking. Fiona didn’t have much going on there, but what she had was displayed nicely. The choice of clothing was a little bold for a tour of a greenhouse, but who cared? Too bad Tess didn’t have that outfit.
Red slowly crept over Fiona’s chest and face. Her eyes flashed, furious. “Do you have any idea how nice it would be to have fresh fruit on a regular basis? The orange is great, and I’m glad we always make sure to stock up, and they store well, thank the Powers, but aren’t you sick of it? Vegetables aren’t that hard to grow, even on a spaceship, but fruit is really delicate. If they have something good here and are willing to share, I want it. And if I have to shake my ass a little to get it for us, then I’ll do it!”
Jax’s face turned to stone. “What ass? You’re as thin as a rail, Fiona.”
Fiona stood up so fast her chair fell over. With a sudden howl of rage, she cracked her palm across Jax’s cheek. He didn’t even budge, probably because he outweighed her by more than twofold. His expression turned even blanker. A statue looked up at her from where he still sat at the breakfast table. His skin turned ruddy on both sides of his face—though more on one side than the other. A handprint gradually became visible. For a few long seconds, they stared at each other.
Fiona turned on her heel and left the kitchen, her breakfast untouched. No one moved, in shock probably. And if I was anything to go by, highly uncomfortable. I looked to Tess for her reaction.
“You’re an idiot, Jax.” Crossing her arms, she leaned back in her chair and shook her head at him.
“Did you see her?” Jax flapped his hands in the approximate shape of a woman. “That outfit?”
“Yeah. And she looked fantastic,” Tess shot back. “Which is what you should’ve told her.”
Jax gaped at her. Then he turned to me. “Back me up here,” he demanded.
I shook my head in a firm negative. “You were an asshole.”
Tess’s gaze jumped to mine, her expression grateful and even a little surprised. Did she not expect me to back her up? Moreover, I agreed with her.
“Looking like that, she could get…” Jax’s jaw bulged, a big muscle bouncing. “Someone might…”
“Admire her?” Tess offered.
“Frank—he’s always…” Jax scowled, stiffening.
“Always what, Jax?” Tess asked sharply.
Grumbling a curse, Jax turned to Merrick. “Merrick?”
Merrick pursed his lips. “It was a bit different from her usual, but most women don’t live in a lab coat, either.”
“But her hair…” Jax growled.
“Was loose?” Tess’s brows flew up, her eyes screaming like twin meteors ready to crash down in a pit of fury and destruction. “What’s the matter with you, Jax? If you’re so concerned about what Fiona is doing with her hair and clothes and body, maybe you should make it so that you actually have the right to express an opinion about any of that.”
He stared at her, seeming more stunned than angry. He looked completely blindsided, like he’d just gone through a really rough reentry. Jax’s usual pallor doubled in seconds.
Pressing her mouth into a thin line, Tess shook her head at him again. She ate quickly, scraping the brown uni-glob off her plate with efficiency and ignoring the bread that was the only part of this anyone really wanted. When she was done, she put her dishes in the sink and turned to kiss me. Our lips met briefly. “You can have my toast,” she whispered before pulling away again.
I smiled. “I like toast.”
“I know.” She squeezed my shoulder.
She left the kitchen, still pissed off enough at Jax to not even look at him. Bonk followed her out like Tess was the comet and he was the tail that trailed behind her.
“What the fuck just happened?” Jax asked no one in particular. He hadn’t touched his food and didn’t look hungry.
“You were a Neanderthal,” Mwende said dryly. “So much for human evolution.”
Jax shot her a look that said she wasn’t particularly welcome here, especially for her commentary.
The only woman left in the room shrugged and ate her breakfast. As she chewed, she studied Merrick with zero pretense.
As Merrick ate, he studied her back. Neith
er of them blinked much. Maybe that was another super-soldier power. Eyes open. Always alert and ready. They sat on opposite sides of the table, and I had to wonder if what I saw in their narrowed, burning gazes was animosity, or something else entirely.
Chapter 13
TESS
I found Fiona in her room on the lower level of the ship, gathering a few things for her morning outing.
“Hey,” I called from the open doorway of her sleeping quarters. Her room was the mirror image of mine, which was across the hallway.
Fiona looked up from the pile of stuff on her bed and smiled a little too brightly. “I’m just leaving.”
I crossed my legs at the ankles, relaxing against the doorframe. “Have fun. And don’t worry about Jax. He forgot to evolve along with the rest of mankind. I’ll send him a memo.”
A smile cracked her face, disappearing quickly. “That’s the thing. He didn’t. I don’t get it.”
I pushed off the door and moved into her room. Bonk bumped against my ankles. I crouched to pat him, amused by his whiskery insistence. “Did you catch the look on Jax’s face when he saw you walk into the kitchen? He was stunned speechless and couldn’t take his eyes off you. That’s the only thing you need to take out of this.”
A little color came back into her cheeks, two red flags under eyes that seemed to waver between forlorn and furious. Personally, I’d veer toward spitting mad, and I doubted Fiona would choose differently.
She finally huffed loudly. “I guess it took nearly dying for him to notice me. Maybe if I get shot twice next time, I’ll get a kiss out of him.”
“Okay, first of all, please don’t get shot again. That was awful for everyone.” I stood back up when Bonk left me to go curl up on a lab coat Fiona had dropped in a corner. He poked and prodded at it, circled, and then settled down right where he wanted. Cats couldn’t just plop down, apparently. They had to pick just the right spot and then soften it up or something. Either felines were weird, or they were smarter than most humans and actually thought about what they were going to do before they went ahead and did it. “Second, Jax is all messed up. Give him time to figure things out.”
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