‘I’m an idiot. I should have known something was wrong when you didn’t speak to me. You’re always full of opinions.’
‘I don’t mind that you’re an idiot,’ she said entwining him in her embrace, so that her cheek pressed tight to his chest. ‘I’m just as big an idiot myself.’
Ash returned the cuddle. It felt good to hold her securely against him again. He’d missed her all day with every bone in his body. He hadn’t wanted it to end, but he’d believed he’d seen a glimpse of truth: that she didn’t care, that she valued him as no more than something she’d scrape off the bottom of her shoe. He ought to have trusted her. After all, he lived a life constantly distorted by smoke and mirrors; he ought to have known to ask questions, not just accept everything as it was presented.
‘Let’s get out of here, Ginny.’ He wanted to be away from the bus and the band and Iain, in a place where he could straighten his thoughts and work out what to do. A confrontation seemed inevitable, but here and now wasn’t the time for it. He needed to compile his evidence, so there were no doubts about Iain’s complicity. He had to ensure Ginny was safe too.
He picked his jacket up from the floor, then grasped her hand and laced their fingers tight. ‘This is a port – there are bound to be plenty of hotels, or we could go straight to Karlstad. That’s where we’re playing tomorrow night.’ Assuming another gig was even possible, since they’d be a band member short. ‘Or do you want to go to the police?’
‘The police? Ash, I don’t even know who slipped me that stuff, whatever it was, and even if I did I don’t know that they’d do anything anyway. We’ve crossed borders. I don’t think a festival in Denmark is in the local jurisdiction. I’d rather not make a big fuss over it. The important thing is that you believe that I didn’t willingly hurt you, and that you realise Iain’s a prick.’
‘I do believe that, and I don’t just think he took advantage, Ginny. I’d lay money on him having been the one who spiked you.’
‘You think he was the one?’ she gasped. Her mouth fell open. ‘I only thought he took advantage of my obvious lack of inhibitions. I mean, he’s been coming on to me all tour, but going that far …’ She swallowed audibly, and then her eyes brightened. ‘Where is he? I’m going to fucking murder him.’
Ash caught her around the waist. ‘Ginny.’ He held her tight as she tried to kick free.
‘Let go of me, Ash.’
‘No.’ He clasped her firmly against his body. ‘Mutilating him might feel satisfying at the time, but it’s not the right way to deal with this. If you go into that bar and start yelling, then he’s just going to suggest you’re a crazy stalker and have security restrain you. Chill,’ he hissed into her ear. ‘Let me deal with him. I need to right this. It’s my fault he’s here and part of the band.’
‘I can fight my own battles. That scum-sucking bastard doesn’t frighten me.’
‘He should, because if he’s prepared to drug people, what else is he prepared to do?’
She stilled suddenly, but not for the reason Ash expected. ‘Arrange accidents,’ she said. ‘Like dropping lights on people’s heads.’
Boom! Ash thought his whole world had just exploded, because he couldn’t laugh it off and suggest that was ridiculous. The truth was that if Iain wanted to get rid of Ginny, then surely he wanted to get rid of Xane even more. How often had he heard Iain bemoan the fact that Xane had stolen him, and with him Love Rocket’s shot at a record deal? Only dozens of times over the last few weeks, and thousands of times over the years. He could easily have been responsible for all the press leaks and unfortunate happenings that had beset the tour.
You know it’s the truth, whispered his subconscious. It had an awful lot to say tonight.
‘We have to go, Ginny.’ He clasped her hand, meaning to drag her to the entryway, but the sound of approaching voices dissuaded him. Through the darkened glass he could see the rest of the band returning from the bar.
‘Bathroom, now,’ he ordered, dragging her in that direction. He pushed her into the shower cubicle while he stood on the toilet seat to lever open the emergency exit window. He went through first, doing a roll so that he hung from the opening by his fingertips with his back to the side of the bus, before dropping neatly onto the tarmac. ‘Ginny,’ he hissed. She climbed out feet first and fell into his arms.
‘Why are we running?’ she demanded.
‘Because I need to think, that’s why, and I need to find Xane and talk to him.’
‘He’s in Halmstad with Dani.’
Ash blinked at her. ‘Halmstad? Since when?’
‘Since about midnight. I don’t think he’s going to want to talk to you right now.’
‘In the morning then,’ he agreed, still pulling her away from the bus. ‘We’ll deal with this all come daylight.’ Right now, his priority was to put as much distance as possible between her and Iain because heaven knows how far Iain would go to get rid of her once he learned the first attempt hadn’t succeeded. Ash was rather relieved to learn Xane was in Halmstad and out of immediate danger. The rest of the group were probably safe. Iain knew as well as he did that Xane was the glue holding Black Halo together.
Chapter 25
The first train to Karlstad wasn’t for another two hours. Ash bought the tickets, and then they had the pick of the benches in the old station’s vast, echoing central plaza. The café wasn’t open yet, nor was anywhere else, so they couldn’t grab a couple of mega-coffees to ward off the cold. Ash snuggled Ginny inside his leather jacket. He realised it wasn’t exactly cosy, but it was something, and she kind of looked sweet in it.
‘I’m wishing I hadn’t drunk quite so much vodka earlier,’ he muttered, as he stretched out along their chosen wooden bench and rested his head in her lap. ‘Remind me to drink a shitload of water before I go to sleep or I’m going to be good for nothing again tomorrow, and I’m going to need to be able to think straight.’
She didn’t quibble with him over the change of date. He operated on the principle that time stopped at two o’clock, and after that it wasn’t the next day until you’d had some kip. The fact that the first fingers of sunlight were creeping over the glass arch above their heads was irrelevant.
‘Can I ask you something?’ She enquired a short while later, as she stroked the long strands of dark hair back from his face and explored the stubble that was starting to work its way through the skin over his jaw and upper lip. ‘What made you believe me? And what makes you so certain that Iain was the one to spike me, not just take advantage?’
He sighed, raised a hand and skimmed it through his black hair. ‘A couple of things, I guess. A horrid sense of déjà vu being one of them.’
‘You mean he’s done this before?’
‘Spiked someone? Not that I’m aware of, but I guess I wouldn’t put it past him. No, I meant tried to destroy my life. I just didn’t see it, or didn’t want to admit it, at the time.’
She rested a hand on the flat of his stomach as he spoke. Ginny seemed to have a thing about his abs, exploring their contours and laying her hand flat against the hard muscle there. She went so far as to wriggle her palm under his T-shirt. ‘Explain.’
Ash licked his dry lips. ‘Connie,’ he said so quietly she probably had to strain to hear him. Dredging up those memories still punched holes in his heart.
Ginny shifted her bottom uncomfortably. ‘Your ex,’ she said. ‘Did Iain try it on with her too?’
Ash crunched into a sitting position, unable to discuss this lying down. He swung his legs and planted his feet on the ground so that he was facing the tracks. Ginny scrambled over and sat astride his lap. She jogged up his chin when he refused to make eye contact.
‘I don’t know what he did, just that he did something. There’s no other sensible reason why it went so horribly wrong. The two of them never exactly got on. Iain wanted me to be one hundred per cent dedicated to the band we were part of back then, and Connie wanted a life beyond watching me put calluses on my fing
ertips.’
Ginny caught hold of his hand and rubbed her fingertips over the hard ridges she found there, then lifted them to her lips and kissed each one.
‘It was serious, Ginny. I told you, I proposed and she turned me down and ended our relationship there and then with some garbled explanation that never made sense.’ He grasped Ginny’s hand tight. ‘It wasn’t as if I’d sprung it on her out of the blue. We were settled, we had plans, we were fully committed.’
‘Your houseful of books and children. I remember.’ He’d told her that back in Antwerp. ‘So why do you think now that Iain was involved in her change of heart?’
‘I don’t know. Just little things I can’t pinpoint. Some things she said when she broke it off that I never really understood, and I was too bowled over to unravel at the time. And other stuff, like how he acted as if it was no big deal we’d broken up, yet he knew how besotted I was with her. Hell, he was with me when I bought the ring.’
‘That’s just evidence of him being a narcissistic wanker, not proof that he had a hand in it.’
‘I know.’ He scratched the back of his head. ‘As I said, it’s all instinct, not concrete evidence.’
Ginny gently cupped his face and kissed both his cheeks before seeking his mouth and teasing his lower lip. He kissed her back, sliding his arms inside the leather jacket to embrace her and pull her closer, needing the reassurance of her presence and the more solid contact.
‘Is the breakup what led to you meeting Spook?’ she asked, when a whistle from a passing drunk pulled them apart.
‘Yeah. I ended up hooked on depression meds.’ She was learning all his secrets tonight. ‘The campus doctor used to dish them out like Smarties. They switched off my brain but did fuck-all for my heart. Took a while to realise I was better off without them.’
‘Let me guess. Spook helped get you clean after he talked you off that bridge?’
‘You’ve an unreasonably high opinion of him, you know,’ he said, smoothing a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear. ‘Actually, it was the Liddell boys that got me clean.’
Ginny frowned at him, obviously not knowing who he meant.
‘Xane and his cousin Ric,’ he explained. ‘I’m not sure their methods were really of benefit long term, but I guess they achieved the required goal.’
‘Xane’s responsible for you substituting pill-popping for sex?’
‘That’s not quite how it was … I don’t know … I guess.’
‘I’m guessing cousin Ric is another total floozy, then,’ she said.
The description startled yet another laugh from him. Oh, dear, exhaustion was setting in. Next thing he’d be rolling around hysterical because she’d belched or something.
‘Is he as hot as Xane?’
‘I guess. They have certain similarities. Your mate Dani’s met him, maybe you should ask her. I don’t make a point checking out guys.’
‘If we all end up together in the same place again, I will.’ She gave him a penetrating stare, right into the centres of his eyes, getting him to focus and sober up. ‘I still don’t understand why Iain would want to destroy your happiness. I mean, you’ve given him a huge break. He’s drumming for a band at the top of their game, and it’s thanks to you.’
‘But it’s not his band, Ginny. He’s not the top dog, and his position is far from secure.’
‘If he was nicer it might have been.’
‘It’s not what he wants.’ He slashed the air with his hand. ‘Iain would rather see Black Halo fail. He’s got it into his head that I’m the key to his success and that he can only achieve what he wants if I’m fully committed. The only way to ensure that is to break up the band. We’re already shaky, it wouldn’t take much, and if Xane flipped and went AWOL for any reason, that would be it. As for why he’d try to break us up: simple, you’re an unacceptable distraction, the same as Connie was.’
‘I won’t let Iain scare me away. I won’t let him take you from me either.’
‘I keep seeing his hands all over you,’ he confessed.
Ginny grabbed his hands and placed them against her body. ‘Then chase him off. Put your mark all over me.’
‘I might get us arrested if I do that here.’
‘Danger Mouse would do it,’ she coaxed.
‘Danger Mouse never had sex.’
‘Not on screen, maybe. Wasn’t he based on James Bond? I bet he was at it constantly when he wasn’t being watched.’ She leaned in and teased the line of studs in his ear. ‘Ash, we’re not being watched.’
Chapter 26
Karlstad, Sweden.
The tickle of Ash’s eyelashes against the curve of her belly roused Ginny from sleep shortly after noon later that day. They’d checked into a hotel in Karlstad as the sun was rising. Dani hadn’t answered when Ash had tried to reach Xane through her, using Ginny’s phone. Unsurprisingly, he had once more mislaid his own. He planned to try again later, but in the meantime he left a voice message asking Xane to call him. Of course, that all relied on Xane and Dani having successfully patched things up, something Ginny couldn’t be entirely certain of, given Luthor had also been in Halmstad.
Boy, was dating a member of Black Halo complex.
‘Morning,’ Ash said, grinning up at her from inside the cave he’d made with the duvet.
‘I’m not convinced it is yet.’ There were still cobwebs in her brain, and the bed was warm and snuggly with him there beside her … well, kind of on top of her actually. He was hunched on all fours across her lower body. Also, she wasn’t yet ready to face reality. Yesterday had been hell, and today, once it got going, wasn’t likely to be much better. They’d talked over numerous suspicions on the train from Gothenburg and all the ways in which they might handle things without bringing another media storm down upon the band, but they hadn’t arrived at an ideal solution. Ash was insistent that he wanted to talk to the guys, particularly Xane and Spook, before they did anything. He was also adamant that she wasn’t to go anywhere near Iain.
Ginny contained a shudder. Urgh! To think he’d touched her, although if any residue had remained of that moment Ash had thoroughly removed it. Not only had he fucked her on the railway station platform, he’d pushed her in the shower the moment they got into the hotel room and scrubbed every inch of her skin before making love to her again.
‘Beep … beep,’ Ash chirped in imitation of an alarm clock, except her alarm clock had never kissed her before. ‘We’re going to miss breakfast if we’re not in the dining room soon.’
‘Don’t need any.’ She’d rather stay put and catch another few winks.
‘Don’t need … don’t need breakfast!’ He spluttered in outrage. ‘That’s preposterous. Breakfast’s the most important meal of the day.’
If you were Ash Gore, international rock superstar and bottomless pit, maybe. Ginny hardly ever ate it, and, even when she did, it rarely consisted of more than fruit juice and maybe a croissant. Most days a strong cup of tar-like coffee saw her through to lunch.
‘Plus, we’re in a hotel, and hotel breakfast is the best bit about staying in them. They’ll have eggs and salmon and bacon and hash browns and muffins, and all those funny little cheeses in different wrappers that taste exactly the same, and yogurt. I bet you eat yogurt. And oatmeal porridge. And we’re in Sweden so they’ll probably have that Filmjölk loaf stuff that Spook sometimes makes.’
Ginny hoped he didn’t plan to eat all of that, because surely he wouldn’t be able to move afterwards, and she rather liked the way he moved, especially when he was inside her.
‘Ginny,’ he pleaded, smooching kisses across her tummy. ‘You don’t want to be responsible for me starving, do you?’ He cocked his head to one side like a patient spaniel. ‘’Cause you know if that happens I’ll have to eat you.’
A sleepy grin stretched across her face. ‘That doesn’t sound so bad.’ She knew what he could do with his tongue, and an alarm clock that not only gave kisses but supplied orgasms sounded pretty awesome to h
er.
‘Hm – that wasn’t supposed to be an incentive to dawdle in bed.’
Yeah, well, he really needed to work on his lines then. ‘But Ash, you’re the ultimate incentive to stay in bed. I can’t see why I’d ever want to get up.’
Ash propped himself up on his elbows looking mildly vexed. ‘I’m not just a bedroom accessory, you know.’
‘Nope,’ she agreed. ‘You perform equally well in the bathroom, the lounge, kitchen and on the stairs. Also in broom closets, dressing rooms, tents and out of doors. Not to mention railway platforms.’
‘Dining rooms,’ he suggested, grinning cheekily at her. ‘That’s where I perform at my absolute best.’
There wasn’t a dining room in her flat and she’d never seen the inside of his house – she didn’t know if he owned one – so she wasn’t in a position to contradict him. ‘Ash Gore,’ she said instead, ‘are you suggesting I should leap out of bed and take you down to breakfast so that you can shag me amidst the toast, waffles and croissants?’ It was almost worth it, except she was sure he’d get distracted by the food.
‘I could butter you up and spread you with marmalade first.’
She socked him with the pillow. ‘Sounds sticky.’
‘Oh, I know lots of ways to make you sticky.’ He suddenly scrambled up the bed, and sat upright astride her with the duvet pulled around his shoulders like a cape.
Now she was very awake. Funny how the sight of two taut penny-shaped nipples and the neat furrowed rows of his abs could instantly rouse her from sleep. OK, she was lying; it wasn’t really his abs that had caught her attention at all, but the curved beast rubbing up against them, looking all pink and eager and rather yummy.
She knew what she wanted for breakfast, but it wasn’t food, at least not in the traditional sense.
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