by Melissa West
I spin around and start running up the steps before I can stop myself, jerking open the porch door, and then I’m staring at my mom, her dark hair sprinkled with flour. She smiles. “I made cookies.”
Tears pool in my eyes, rushing down my face. She’s so beautiful. Why didn’t I ever tell her that she was beautiful? “Mom?”
I take a step forward, eager to wrap my arms around her, to smell her floral scent, to hold her tight in hopes I can somehow bring her back to me—to Dad. The scene changes, and instead of walking through my common room, I’m in a hallway in the Underground, watching as Ancients rush in, Taking everyone in sight. And then I see her, just inside a lab, her head down, her concentration on some experiment that only she could have developed. An Ancient opens the door, starts in. He’s feet away from her, but she’s too lost in her experiment. She didn’t even see him coming. The Ancient tosses her against a wall, and then before she can try to defend herself, I see the glow of the Taking as the Ancient makes the connection, and then within moments, Mom’s face is lifeless and her body falls limply to the ground.
“No!” I scream, trying and failing to run down the hall, to reach her, but I’m stuck in place, watching helplessly.
My body shakes with sobs, and I close my eyes, trying to pull myself back together. I didn’t get to say good-bye. I didn’t get to tell her that I loved her, that she was the best part of our family, that we will never forget her.
“Ari, what’s wrong?”
Goose bumps rise across my skin as I take in the voice, so familiar it might as well be my own. I turn slowly and there she is, standing before me, her face bright and happy, the way it was before this all began. Before Law and Kelvin, before she lost me. I never realized how hard it was for her that I went to Loge.
“Ari,” Gretchen says. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I smile at the irony and wipe the tears away from my eyes with the heel of my hand. My legs tremble as I reach out to take her hand. “Gretch? Is it you?”
She laughs, her eyebrow cocked. “Girl, what did your mom give you this time? The chocolate pills again?”
I smile, swallowing a sob, and squeeze her hand. “I’ve just missed you.”
She pulls me into a hug and then puts on that devious smile I always loved. “Law’s waiting for us at his house.”
I know this is Zeus messing with my head, that something is about to happen, that he’s about to take her from me, but I want these last few minutes with her too badly to pull myself away. Gretchen nods to the autowalk and I follow, walking side by side as she tells me about a new pair of boots she ordered, and then the sky changes above, the sun racing down to the horizon, dark clouds replacing the yellow, and then I see it—the hovercraft. My eyes widen as it starts to plummet toward the ground below. I grip Gretchen’s hand tighter and spin to face her, tears collecting in my eyes.
“Don’t go. Please don’t go,” I say to her.
“Ari, what are you—”
Then, as though a massive wind ripped through Prospect, her hair whips up and around, and she’s screaming, the sound so piercing I wonder if I’ll ever hear anything again.
“No, please.” I hold her hand as she jerks back, then a red blotch spreads out from her stomach, and her face goes white. “Stay with me,” I whisper.
Her body falls to the ground, her blood pooling out onto the autowalk, and once again I’m stuck in place, watching as someone else I love dies.
Unable to hold it together, I collapse onto my knees, sobbing.
“What is it, child?”
I shake my head. It’s an illusion, an illusion. An illusion. Please. An illusion.
I lift up, telling myself that I’ll be back in the small room I dropped into when we entered the Unity tree, but Zeus shows no mercy. I’m in the gardens of Triad, outside the Panacea, Emmy standing over me. And I can’t help myself. I launch into her arms.
“Relax your heart, child,” Emmy says. “I feel it as if it were mine.” She pulls away to look at me, and then her expression turns serious. “It happened.”
I study her, lost as to how she could know everything, even here. “You’re dead now,” I say, unable to keep my voice from shaking.
She nods once. “So I am. Walk with me.”
I feel sure Zeus is controlling this, too. Giving me a bit of comfort before he wrecks me all over again, but I’ve never been able to deny Emmy.
“What can I do?” I ask.
“Use your mind, child,” she says. “The mind controls all.”
“I can’t push it away, I can’t block him out. I—”
She stops me, pulling me close so we’re eye to eye. “You can. You must. Rise, child. Rise.”
And then I smell the distinct scent of smoke, hear the crackle of a fire raging out of control. Emmy hugs me close, then releases me, and without a word, walks toward the flames of the clearing, the war happening all around us. She turns to face me. “Rise,” she says once more. Then she steps back, allowing the flames to engulf her body, and once again, I watch her leave me in a puff of ash. But this time I don’t fall to the ground. I don’t cry. I stand.
I rise.
Blinking hard, I order myself to leave this place. Leave this horror. Forget Mom and Gretchen and Emmy. For now, I have to focus on the fight, on killing Zeus, else there may be no one left when the dust finally settles and the fire finally subsides.
Wind rips around me, and then I feel someone behind me, leaning into my ear. “You killed them, you know,” he says, his voice shaking as he adds, “Killed: C-causing the death of. You left your mother in the Underground. Brought Gretchen into your fight. Shot the craft that went down, killing Emmy. They are dead at your hand.”
“No.” I grit my teeth together. “They are dead at yours. But your reign of death ends today.”
I whip around, prepared to punch, but when my eyes focus, I’m in the hallway again, doors on all sides, Zeus nowhere to be seen. I draw a breath, desperate to find control, when suddenly the doors are all thrown open, one after the other, as more and more Ancients rush into the hallway, all poised to attack. I try to remind myself to calm down, to breathe, to remember that this isn’t real, but then they stop in front of me, lined up. To get through this trial I have to fight each of them.
I try to focus my mind, try to find reality, but then the first Ancient advances. He’s twice my size, but I’ve fought plenty of Ancients at this point and I know their weaknesses. They weren’t trained by Emmy or Vill. They don’t know their minds are stronger than their muscles. I close my eyes as the Ancient rushes me, forgetting what he is and what he wants to do to me, and focus on his breathing, on cutting it off. On trapping the air in his lungs. On taking away the most basic need—breathing. I hear him crash in front of me, the sounds of him gasping so intense I wonder if he’s inches from me, if he can still reach me with his hands, but still, I keep my eyes shut tight.
Finally, I feel for his presence and come up empty. When I open my eyes he’s gone, along with the rest of the Ancients. I shake my head, at a loss for what Zeus is up to, when the hallway grows long and I see a woman walking toward me from the opposite end of the hall.
I squint as the woman nears, and then there’s a flash through the hall and she’s closer, and then another flash, and she’s in front of me.
“Hello, child,” Mami says, just before she pulls a knife and stabs me in the arm. Blood soaks through my shirt, and though I know this isn’t real, the pain is very real. I step back, desperate to gain some distance so I can look at her—it—without breaking down. Because this isn’t Mami—Zeus’s wife, Jackson’s beloved grandmother. This isn’t her. Mami is dead, thanks to Zeus.
She rushes me and I duck away, knocking the knife from her grasp, telling myself to stop seeing her gentle eyes as she told me that I was special. Or the smile on her face when she spoke of Jackson. My gut feels hollowed out and weak, and I wonder how I will ever survive this day, when a small voice tells me
to close my eyes, to fight with my senses so my heartache doesn’t get in the way.
I close my eyes and feel a swift kick to the gut. Hurling forward, I try to suck in a breath, but the kick has winded me, and I feel her preparing to hit again. Please, I say to myself. Please just do it.
And then I’m in motion, faster, stronger than the Mami illusion can hope to be.
This isn’t real, I tell myself.
I flip forward and kick, squarely connecting with her jaw and fighting the urge to cry at the sound of her gasping from the blow.
This isn’t real.
I punch again and again and grit my teeth together as I hear her cry, then beg for me to stop.
This isn’t real.
I grip her head, knowing what I’m about to do, knowing I have no choice, yet still I can’t stop tears from streaming down my face and a sob from erupting in my throat. I flick my wrists, snapping her neck in one fluid motion, and then drop her body and step back, my chest heaving, every thought and feeling I have shaken to the core. I blink to clear my watery eyes, and when I look again she’s gone.
“Mami!” I scream, and then I drop to my knees, unable to handle what I’ve just done. My hands shake and bile climbs my throat.
This isn’t real, Ari.
I stop cold and tilt my head, listening. I thought it was me before, some inner voice coaching me through this horror, but it wasn’t me.
It was Jackson.
I jump up and spin in a circle, searching for a viewing window, something, but there’s only metal, only long silver lines and doors that go nowhere.
“What do I do?” I scream out. “Tell me what to do!”
RUN!
The doors fly open again, and fire bursts out, clawing its way toward me. I spin on my heel and take off down the hallway, expecting to hit a wall, but it’s somehow opened up, the hall going on forever into the unknown.
I continue down the corridor as the walls disappear and water appears on both sides of me, like I’m walking down a narrow island through the middle of the ocean. I consider going back, but when I turn, the fire has trapped me in. Fire behind me, water on both sides. There’s no going back, only forward. Gingerly, I edge down the strip and then gasp as water laps over the path, waves crashing again and again to their own current.
I stare up, expecting to find a ceiling and instead stare into the dark night sky, two moons shining down on me like cat eyes, watching my every move. I peer back at the path, my mind racing for what to do, how to get myself out of this, and then the path disappears from below my feet, and I’m sucked underwater. I tell myself again and again that I can breathe, I can breathe, but water rushes into my mouth and nose and my body takes over, closing down, trying to protect what little oxygen I have left. My legs and arms kick in the water, pushing and swimming with everything I have in search of the surface, but it doesn’t come.
Fear sweeps over me, and again, I hear Zeus’s words about dying in the blueroom. But I won’t let him kill me in this mind game, him safely away, watching. When he dies, it will be in a one-on-one fight, him against me. Or him against Jackson.
I realize that I no longer hear Jackson’s voice and worry claws at me at what that might mean, but I can’t think about that now, I can only think about surviving.
I close my eyes and tell myself to breathe, to take a slow steady breath. My body tells me that icy water is filling my mouth, but my mind knows better. I ignore the coldness, the salty taste of the ocean on my tongue, the sting as it fills my nose, the sureness that I could die any minute, and focus on my breathing.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I continue to breathe, ignoring everything else, and my body sinks through the water. I’m not dying, I’m not dying, I’m not dying. And then my feet make contact, and the sound of a gun firing causes my eyes to snap open. I suck in a breath and stumble back. I’m no longer in the ocean, but back in the clearing in Virginia, in the middle of the fight.
Vill rushes over to me. “Where did you go? Where’s Jackson?”
I shake my head, disoriented. “What? Vill, are you—is this real?”
“What are you talking about?” he says, then a pair of Ancients start for us, and I try to calm my mind enough to run. “Ari, your gun!” Vill shouts.
“No, it—” I start to tell him that I lost it in the Unity tree, but then I feel my harness on my back, the weight of the two guns I stored there back at Sydia’s base. What’s happening? Is this reality? I pull one of the weapons and fire just as the Ancients are almost to us.
“Ari, what happened?” Vill asks, shaking my shoulders, but I can only stare at him, my head twitching, my eyes blinking too quickly to be normal.
I see Dad in the distance, fighting, and a surge of relief moves through me for the first time in what feels like forever. “Dad!” I call, and then he looks up just as a bullet hits him in the head. “No!” I scream. I start running toward him, but once again, I’m stuck in place, and then I’m no longer in the clearing, but back in the hallway, doors on all sides.
I grip my head, desperately trying to hold it together, keep my sanity intact, and then there’s a flash in the hallway, and my eyes zero in on the figure standing in front of me.
On Zeus.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
A growl erupts from my mouth, every bit of anger I’ve ever felt for him rushing to the surface. I pull one of the guns from my harness, still on my back, and point it at him, firing just as he slips into the middle door on the right. All thought leaves me as I track him, visions of all the people I’ve lost flashing through my head. Mami. Gretchen. Mom. Emmy. Dad. He’s to blame for all of them, all of it.
I jerk open the door and step inside without thought, and I’m surrounded by trees with huge leaves and the sounds of jungle animals and insects all around me. A rain forest, I think, just as a giant tiger jumps out from a patch of greenery in front of me, its claws drawn for the kill. I scream to myself that this isn’t real, this isn’t real, but I can’t slow my heart rate down. The tiger breathes its hot breath down on me just as it bares its teeth to take a chunk out of my skull. I scream and shoot, sending the tiger flying back. I scramble to my feet, but the tiger’s no longer there. I peer around and spot Zeus stepping through the forest green, disappearing once again. I race after him, afraid of what I might find next, and then I stop just short of falling off a cliff. I peer around and the scene has completely changed. I’m in the mountains, no sounds except the wind around me, and no sign of Zeus.
I draw a breath and close my eyes, trying to search out reality. I’m not really in the mountains, so where am I? I open my eyes to the deafening sound of a scream, chaos all around me. I’m back in the clearing, in the thick of the war, Zeus standing still in the center, as though nothing and no one can touch him.
He starts for me and I him, me firing again and again, but none of the bullets hit him. He laughs darkly and then points behind me. I spin around and instantly, I’m hit in the arm. I grit my teeth to push away the pain and when I glance back I’m in the hallway again, Zeus at the end, his laughter echoing all around. I dart after him, running despite the exhaustion that has taken over my body and mind.
He disappears into another doorway and I follow, shooting, ignoring the risk of running out of bullets, my brain no longer caring about anything but killing him. He dips into another doorway, and then another, each a maze of doors, all black and white, circling me, rotating, rotating, rotating. I try to clear my head, to fight the dizziness that’s overcoming me, to stay focused on Zeus.
I follow him into another doorway, shooting again and again and again, everything in me gone but this moment, this kill. I won’t let him escape. He slips through a final doorway, and I can feel it. The time is here. Every day, every minute drawing to this singular place in time.
I open the door to an empty room. Nothing but a floor and a ceiling and four walls. And my enemy. He sits in a chair in front of me, an evil grin on his face. I raise my gun. I see his lips mo
ving, but I can’t hear the words. They no longer matter.
“I’m going to enjoy watching you die,” I say. I raise my gun and hear two voices—one in my head, the other in the room, one taunting, one screaming. I can’t make out what’s happening, what’s real. It all feels in front of me and yet somehow far away. Instead, I focus on the faces of those I’ve lost—the ones I might be losing right now—and fire.
I prep for Zeus’s attack, but instead, the room around me disappears, and I shake my head, trying to gain focus, trying to find my reality. I blink, watching as the bullet zooms through the air, everything in slow motion. And then it’s me screaming as I watch the bullet hit its target—watch as it hits Jackson in the gut, watch as blood spills out from his center, his eyes going wide.
“No!”
I’m standing in Zeus and Mami’s house, Jackson tied to a chair in front of me, his shirt now completely drenched in blood. I’m to him in one step, tears raining down my face. A rain that will never subside. “This isn’t real,” I say, my voice rattling. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real.”
Jackson’s face turns pale and he reaches out for me. “Ari…listen to me.”
“This isn’t real.”
“He’s back at the clearing,” he chokes out. “Remember how to get to the Unity tree from here? You have to go.” His eyes flutter closed, and I grip his hand, pressing it to my cheek.
“No, this isn’t real. Please,” I cry. “Tell me. Tell me it isn’t real!” Jackson’s breathing slows, and I drag my hands over my eyes, urgency taking over. “I won’t let you die.”
“The bullet,” he breathes.
“The bullet? It’s still inside you. You can’t heal. It’s still inside you.”
I grab a knife from my boot and cut his ties, then use all my remaining strength to pull him onto the floor. My hands shake so badly I wonder how I can do anything at all, but I can feel him leaving me, feel his warmth disappearing. Feel his death near.