A few hours ago, Paul (the son) and his wife, Sophie, arrived by rental car from Kennedy Airport. Just a few minutes ago, Gemma (the oldest daughter) and Alfred (Harry’s brother) arrived also by rental car from the same airport.
Paul, thirty-two, sits at the kitchen table, surrounded by his two sisters, Gemma, thirty-nine, and Elizabeth. Alice is taking silverware out of a drawer in the table, to set the table for dinner. As the scene begins, Tom has just entered with bags of Chinese food.
PAUL (To Gemma): If we’d known you were arriving at Kennedy—
GEMMA (Over this): We didn’t know ourselves. We had tickets to Bradley—
PAUL (Over this): We’d have waited—
ELIZABETH (Over this): You could have shared the car rental.
PAUL: Still it’ll be useful to have another car up here.
GEMMA: The drive was wonderful. Very relaxing—
PAUL (Over the end of this): This is my first autumn in three years. You forget what it’s like—
ALICE (Over this): Someone said it was supposed to rain.
GEMMA: How’s L.A.?
PAUL: Warm and sunny.
ALICE (To Gemma): And Albuquerque?
GEMMA: Sunny and warm!
(They laugh.)
TOM (Who has been holding up the Chinese food, trying to get someone’s attention): I have the . . . !
ALICE: Let me help, Tom. That was quick. We’re all here! Alfred and Gemma just arrived—
GEMMA (To Elizabeth, over this): I love New England. You’re lucky to be so close.
(The phone rings.)
ALICE (Same time): Excuse me. (Goes to pick up the phone)
ELIZABETH (Same time, to Gemma): I never get up here. Father had me up twice, maybe three times. I hardly could remember the way.
ALICE (With her hand on the receiver, as it rings): I’ve told everyone it’s the best Chinese I’ve ever had! Even in the city. And of all places— (Picks up the phone) Hello?
TOM (To the others): Actually, the place she sent me to— It appears to have closed. They’d gone out of business, I suspect. (Beat) There was another place. Just down the road. (Holds up the bag of food) There was hardly a wait. I don’t know how they cook it so fast.
(The others look at Tom.)
ALICE (Into the phone): Yes. At eleven. Here in the garden. Yes. Harry would have liked that. (Beat) Thank you so much. See you tomorrow. (Hangs up)
(Pause.)
TOM: I hope it’s good. The food! (Smells a bag) It smells good.
ALICE: It’s always good at that place. “Harry’s Place” was what we called it. Because Harry . . .
ELIZABETH (Getting up): We’ll need some serving spoons.
ALICE (Pointing to the drawer in the table): In that drawer. Elizabeth.
GEMMA (To Tom): We haven’t met.
ALICE: This is Tom. He’s my— A relative of mine. Gemma. Harry’s eldest.
TOM: How do you do?
(They shake hands.)
My sympathies. To all of you.
GEMMA: Uncle Alfred will be down in a—
ALICE: Harry’s brother.
GEMMA (To Tom): Were you very close to our father?
(Beat.)
TOM: Close? To tell the truth, I only just met him—
ALICE (Interrupting): Where are we going to eat? There’s the dining room.
ELIZABETH: Won’t that be too formal? It’s just Chinese—
GEMMA: And we’re a family.
ELIZABETH: The kitchen’s fine.
GEMMA: Let’s eat here. I always eat in my kitchen.
ELIZABETH: Move a few things out of the way— (Begins to pick up the papers on the table)
ALICE: Smell how good that smells.
GEMMA (Over this): We’ll need large bowls or do we just serve it out of the boxes? At home I just serve it out of the boxes.
ELIZABETH (To Alice, over this): Is it OK if I just pile these papers together?—
PAUL (Interrupting): Sophie’s still taking a nap! Shouldn’t we wait for her?
(Beat.)
GEMMA (To Elizabeth): I forgot she was here. I hadn’t seen her so—
ELIZABETH: She’s taking a nap.
PAUL: I just think she might feel— I don’t know—to come down and find us all eating dinner . . .
(Beat.)
ELIZABETH: Couldn’t you wake her up, Paul? I wouldn’t want people waiting to eat because of me.
GEMMA: The food’ll get cold.
PAUL: She didn’t sleep at all last night. Or on the plane.
(Beat.)
ELIZABETH: We can reheat it for her later then.
ALICE: Maybe she’s reading, I’ll go and see if— (Starts to go)
PAUL: Let her sleep! Please. I want her to get some sleep.
(Beat.)
GEMMA: So we’re to—what? The food’s here. This makes no sense.
PAUL: I told her we wouldn’t be eating for a while. That’s what Alice told me—
ALICE: Because I thought there’d be a wait—
TOM: There wasn’t any wait at the restaurant.
ALICE: On a Saturday night?! That’s incredible. It’s such a popular place.
(Short pause.)
GEMMA: So what are we going to—?
ELIZABETH (Over this): What if we don’t sit down? What if we— say, put out the food and whenever anyone wants to— Buffet style. So no one’s missing anything. How’s that, Paul? We can keep reheating it, so it’s always ready.
GEMMA: Sophie can’t get upset about that.
PAUL: It wasn’t because she’d get upset—
GEMMA: I mean, it sounds fair.
PAUL (Continuing): she’s not the one upset, I am. I told her— She doesn’t care. Why should she care? Whatever we want to do is fine with—
ELIZABETH: Fine! Then we’ll need some plates—
ALICE: I’ll get them.
PAUL: How would you feel if you walked in on— And there was your husband surrounded by his sisters, having dinner and you’d been told—
ELIZABETH: We understand, Paul. Forget it.
(Alice starts to leave, stops, notices the drink in her hand.)
ALICE: Who else wants a drink? I forgot to ask. I’ll open one of Harry’s good bottles of wine. I think he’d have liked that.
(Beat.)
GEMMA (After looking at her brother and sister): I don’t think any of us drink.
(The others shake their heads.)
I suppose we’d seen enough of what that can do—growing up. But please . . . Don’t let us stop you, Alice.
(Beat.)
ALICE: Tom? What about you?
TOM: A— Small glass. Very small.
ALICE (To herself as she leaves): More for me. (Goes)
(Pause. Tom begins to take the food out of the bags. Elizabeth and Gemma straighten up the table.)
GEMMA (To Paul): You were right to stick up for your wife.
PAUL: I wasn’t sticking up for—
GEMMA: That was a good thing to do, Paul.
(Short pause. They continue to get the table straightened.)
(To Elizabeth) Where’s the body?
PAUL: Gemma, please!
GEMMA: Don’t stop us from talking!
ELIZABETH: Some funeral home. Alice says he ought to be cremated.
PAUL: Oh God.
ELIZABETH: What do you think?
GEMMA: What did Father want?
PAUL: Does it matter?
ELIZABETH: Alice has this idea which— I don’t know, it’s not what I’d have expected from her. She seems so—matter-of-fact. That’s her reputation in the city—very matter-of-fact.
(She looks at Tom, who smiles.)
TOM: I’ll find some glasses. (Goes)
ELIZABETH: Alice has this idea in her head about standing in the garden and throwing his ashes into the air.
GEMMA: That’s what she meant on the phone. Is that legal?
PAUL: What harm could—?
GEMMA: When mother died, she was buried.
ELIZABETH: I know that. But I do not think Father would have wanted to be buried next to mother.
GEMMA: Or vice versa.
ELIZABETH (Shrugging): I don’t know that. Do we know that? (Short pause) What did you feel when you heard, Gemma?
(Paul sighs.)
Ignore him. (Turns to Gemma, then quickly, suddenly back to Paul to shut him up) I wish to talk to my sister!
(Short pause.)
GEMMA: I—was angry. I don’t think I have ever been so angry with anyone—ever. (Beat) I’d told Father—if he ever did do it— I’d hate him for the rest of my life.
ELIZABETH: You were angry, but you weren’t shocked? I wasn’t shocked. Was anyone shocked?
(No one says anything.
Alice enters with the plates; Tom is behind her with a bottle of wine, a bottle of seltzer, glasses and a corkscrew.
There is silence for a long time. Tom opens the wine bottle; Alice sets out the plates. When she finishes:)
ALICE: Since we’re eating in the kitchen, I thought we wouldn’t use our fancy plates. These aren’t our good plates. We have much nicer plates than these. (Short pause) Do any of you smoke?
(Paul, Gemma and Elizabeth look incredulously at her.)
I didn’t think so. (Picks up her purse and takes out a pack of cigarettes. Taps one out, then lights it)
GEMMA: Neither did Father. He hated smoke.
ALICE: Which is why he made me smoke outside. Even in the rain. The snow. (Beat) But from today—I can smoke where I please. As they say, every cloud has its silver lining.
ELIZABETH: Oh my God!
ALICE: I’m joking, Elizabeth! That was a joke! (Beat) Not the smoking—the silver lining. (Beat) I’m terribly sorry if it wasn’t funny.
(She exhales, then takes a sip of her drink—the ice cubes clanking against the glass. Awkward pause.)
TOM: I’ll just dish out the rice into a bowl.
ALICE (As she exhales): Look at that rice. I told you the place was good.
PAUL: I think I heard a creak— Maybe Sophie’s . . . (Gets up) I’ll go see if she’s awake. I’ll tell her we’re waiting for her.
GEMMA: I thought we weren’t waiting for Sophie.
(Alfred, Harry’s twin brother, enters. Tom sees him and nearly cries out in shock, irrationally thinking this is Harry’s ghost. He nearly knocks over the wine bottle, glasses tip over, rice spills. The others cry out: “Careful!” “Watch out!” “Catch it!” as they scramble to save the glasses, bottle, etc.)
ALICE (To Alfred): Are you unpacked?
ALFRED: Alice, I feel awful kicking you out of your room—
ALICE: That’s silly. Did you look through Harry’s clothes?
ALFRED: I haven’t had—
ALICE: If there’s anything that—
ALFRED: Later, Alice.
ALICE: Of course.
PAUL (Explaining the table): We’re waiting for Sophie. When she’s awake—
ELIZABETH: I thought we were setting out the plates—
ALFRED: She’s in the bathroom. She’s using the bathroom.
PAUL (To everyone): Sophie’s in the bathroom.
(Tom has been staring at Alfred; Alfred now stares back at him.)
ALICE: This is Tom. You haven’t met him. He was out getting the food when you arrived. (Introducing) Tom—Alfred, Harry’s brother. Alfred—Tom. He’s a relative of mine. Sort of.
ALFRED: And obviously a good friend of Harry’s. Thank you for coming.
PAUL: If Sophie’s awake—
ALFRED: She’s in the bathroom—
PAUL (Over this): Then we can set the table. Go ahead and set the table. We’ll eat together at the table. (Goes out)
GEMMA (To Elizabeth): What happened to buffet style?
ALICE (Half whispering to Tom): They were twins.
TOM (Still in some shock): When I saw him I thought—
ALICE: I know. It’s odd for me, too.
ALFRED: Could I have a glass of that? I haven’t had a drink for months.
GEMMA: You had two on the plane.
ALFRED (Taking the bottle, ignoring Gemma; to Alice): I’ve been taking care of myself, Alice.
ALICE: It shows, Alfred.
ELIZABETH: Are we setting the table or not?
ALFRED: Is that the famous Chinese Harry was always going on about?
TOM: I’m not sure it’s exactly the same—
ALFRED: He used to say, Alfred, we have the best Chinese takeout in this hick village than anywhere in New York City, San Francisco, Seattle. You name it. In this village, for Christ sake.
TOM: Actually, I don’t think it’s from the place he—
ALFRED: It smells good. Harry always loved food.
TOM: Did he?
ALFRED: Loved it. Talked about nothing else.
ALICE: That’s not true, Alfred. He rarely—
ALFRED: Who cares? Now we can say anything we want about the bastard.
(Short pause. Alfred stands at the table; and suddenly he nearly collapses. Everyone hurries to him, to grab him, as they do they shout: “What’s wrong?” “Sit down!” “Get him some water!” “Are you all right?” etc.)
ALICE (With a glass of seltzer water): Here, drink this.
(Alfred drinks. He holds up his hands—to show that he will be fine. He drinks some more, then finally:)
ALFRED: You said—in the study? Down the hall. (Beat) That’s where it was?
(Alice nods.)
I just looked in. I didn’t see anything. Have you been cleaning, Alice? (Beat) Get someone in. Do yourself a favor. (Sips, then) I threw up—in the study. I couldn’t get anything to clean it up with. Sophie was in the bathroom.
(Beat.)
GEMMA: We’ll clean it up, Uncle Alfred.
(Pause. No one knows what to say.)
ALFRED: We’re eating in here?
ELIZABETH: Maybe you’d like get some air. The air on airplanes—
ALFRED: I’m hungry. I want to try some of my brother’s famous Chinese takeout.
GEMMA: Give Alfred a plate—
ELIZABETH (At the same time): Are we sitting down? I’m confused.
ALFRED: Pull up some chairs. (Realizing) I’m at the head. I suppose that is where I should be now.
ELIZABETH: We thought it’d be nicer—less formal in the kitchen.
ALFRED: I don’t care where I eat.
ELIZABETH: I like it in here. We were all saying—how relaxed it is in here. Let’s set out plates.
(Paul enters with Sophie, forty-one; she is French, though has lived in the States for many years.)
PAUL: Look who’s awake!
(Everyone greets her: “Sophie!” “How was your nap?” “Sit down.” Gemma and Sophie hug, since they have not greeted each other yet.)
ALICE (Pointing to Tom): Tom you’ve met.
(During this, the phone rings and Alice picks it up.)
SOPHIE (Over this): Why are you eating in here when there’s such a lovely dining room?!
PAUL: She’s right. We could eat in the dining room. It’ll be much nicer there.
ELIZABETH: You agreed that the kitchen—
SOPHIE: Alfred?
ALFRED: I don’t care.
ELIZABETH: We’re all set up in— Gemma?
GEMMA: It is a nice dining room.
ELIZABETH: It’s just so much less formal in here.
PAUL (Over this): Everyone grab something. I’ll take the glasses.
ELIZABETH: I like it in here.
SOPHIE: I didn’t mean— (To everyone) If Elizabeth wants us to eat in the kitchen—
PAUL: Of course, if Elizabeth insists . . .
ELIZABETH: I’m not insisting.
PAUL: Then Tom, could you bring the rice? You be in charge of the rice.
ELIZABETH (Over this): It just seems silly. We’re already in the kitchen—
ALICE (Putting her hand over the receiver; to the others): They want to know—should they send flowers or is there some charity . . .?
&nb
sp; (Beat.)
SOPHIE: Flowers are such a waste. Don’t you think? They just die.
PAUL: A charity then. Did Father have a charity—?
GEMMA: Maybe the school—
ALICE: He hated the school.
PAUL: Was there anything he . . .? (Looks at the others) I don’t know.
(Beat.)
GEMMA: Who’d father want to give money to??
(Pause.)
ELIZABETH: I think flowers would be nice, myself.
ALICE: Then we’ll have them send flowers!
(She returns to the phone, relays that flowers would be fine.
Everyone is standing, carrying something on their way to the dining room.)
SOPHIE (To Paul): I hope this isn’t just because I said—
PAUL: Of course it isn’t. It’s just a good idea.
ALFRED (To Gemma): What about the study? Who’s going to clean—?
GEMMA: There’s probably a sponge under the sink in the bathroom. Don’t worry about it.
ELIZABETH (To Gemma): Don’t you think flowers will be nice?
(Alice puts down the phone.)
ALICE (To Tom, who is balancing a few things): There’s a tray in the pantry. (Calls out to everyone as they head off toward the dining room) Why are we moving? Why can’t we stay where we are? (Gets up and follows them out)
SCENE 4
The kitchen, a short time later.
Alice, Tom, Alfred, Gemma, Elizabeth, Paul and Sophie sit around the table, halfway through their Chinese meal. The papers, phone, etc., have been pushed to one side, giving the table a very cluttered look.
PAUL (As he eats): I think we actually like L.A. And I know that sounds crazy.
ALICE: No one’s eating the moo-shoo.
GEMMA: I tried it.
PAUL (Continuing, over some of this): And I don’t mean the weather. I like the people. I like my work.
ELIZABETH: Isn’t it nicer in here than in that stuffy old dining room?
ALICE: It’s not stuffy.
ELIZABETH: Don’t you agree, Sophie?
SOPHIE: I didn’t mean it to become a thing. I’m sorry.
ELIZABETH: It hasn’t become a—“thing” as you call it. (Smiles and eats)
TOM (To Paul, changing the subject): What work do you—?
PAUL: I read. I’m a reader.
ALFRED: Is that now a professional position in Los Angeles? (Laughs)
PAUL: For films. I read scripts and . . .
SOPHIE: Tell him.
PAUL: I give my opinions. About how to develop those scripts.
(Beat.)
Goodnight Children Everywhere and Other Plays Page 20