by Alison Tyler
21
Gabriel sat in a chair, in the kitchen, as Hannah tied an extension cord around him, a makeshift rope. She kept the gun on him.
He said, “This isn’t funny.”
“It never is.”
“You wouldn’t shoot me.”
“Think not?” She pointed the gun. She looked serious.
“What the hell happened to you in New York?”
“I discovered who I really I am and where I belong. I belong here, with you. We belong together.”
She paced back and forth in the kitchen.
“Please,” Gabriel said.
“You’ll stay put. Chloe will get married and take off to her honeymoon. Then I’ll untie you and we’ll have a serious, sober talk about our relationship.”
“There is no more relationship.”
“Would you stop being so negative, please? You’re going to get me down.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. He gave up and said, “Okay. Kill me then.”
“You can’t say that…that’s just…”
“What?”
“Horrible.”
He said, “Yes, horrible. What do I have to live for if the love of my life marries another man?”
Hannah said, “I’m the love of your life.”
“The day you got on that plane for New York, that stopped being true.”
“Okay. I hate you now,” Hannah said.
“So shoot. Put a bullet in my head and end this mortal misery.”
She pointed the gun. He closed his eyes and waited…
She lowered the gun. Defeated, she told him, “I can’t. This is a prop gun.”
She cried.
He was pissed.
“Goddammit.” He released himself from the electric cord.
It was easy; he never really was a prisoner.
He moved toward her.
She backed off.
He took the prop gun away from her. “Should I be surprised? It’s always been one big show for you, Hannah,” he said. “Nothing is ever real, not even your weapon.” He dropped the gun on the floor.
She lunged toward him, tried to grab him. She planned to not let go. But he was faster. He dashed out of the apartment and jumped into his car and drove off.
Hannah picked up the gun. She picked up the phone attached to the wall and called Yellow Cab. “I need a taxi, pronto,” she said.
22
Gabriel drove as fast as he could without causing a bad accident. He was late, but if he got there just in time…
Not far behind him a taxi was also driving fast. Hannah was in that taxi cab. She knew where he was going; she’d been there that one time….
23
The band played “Here Comes the Bride.”
Chloe walked down the makeshift aisle, between the guests, in her mother-in-law-to-be’s large backyard. Ahead of her was Gregory, dapper in his tux, and the minister. Best man, maids of honor, flower girl—the whole works.
This is supposed to be every woman’s dream, Chloe thought. And here it was: her nightmare.
She strained her eyes to look at the guests. Where was Gabriel? Why wasn’t he here?
Gabriel arrived late, of course, but not too late. He pulled into the driveway of the Binkowski residence, his brakes and tires screeching. He jumped out his car and ran toward the back….
A minute later, the taxi cab pulled up and Hannah jumped out….
24
He got there just in time. The minister was saying, “If there is any man or woman present who objects to this union, speak now or for—”
“I do!” Gabriel yelled, out of breath. “I object to this wedding!”
Gasps of shock, surprise, confusion—all bodies turned and all eyes looked on Gabriel.
“What in the hell,” muttered Gretchen, standing up from her seat. She was holding a half-finished martini in her hand.
Gabriel walked up the aisle. Gregory stared at him, mouth agape.
“You can’t marry him, Chloe,” Gabriel said. “You don’t love him. You love me.”
Chloe looked at Gregory, at her guests and at Gabriel.
“You’re right,” she said.
She dropped the bouquet and ran to Gabriel, clutching him, hugging him and kissing him, right there in front of everyone.
“What in the hell is this?” Gretchen cried.
Hannah arrived, prop gun out. “Hold it right there!”
More gasps, more shock, more awe.
“Stop kissing him!” Hannah yelled at Chloe, pointing the gun.
“Oh my God,” said Chloe.
“It’s okay,” Gabriel told her.
“You!” Hannah said to Chloe, and ordered: “You let go of him and get back up there and say ‘I do’ and get married.”
Chloe didn’t know what to do.
“Someone do something!” cried Gretchen.
“The gun isn’t real,” Gabriel said.
“I’ve had enough of this!” Gretchen stomped toward Hannah, martini in hand.
Hannah was shaking. “Stop…”
“You want to shoot? Shoot!”
“That gun isn’t real,” Gabriel said.
Gretchen tossed her martini into Hannah’s face. Hannah was blinded by the vodka and vermouth. She dropped the gun and clutched at her eyes. “Ouch,” she said.
More gasps…some laughter.
Gregory watched, and he was amused.
The minister was not amused. “See here, is there to be a wedding or not?” he asked.
“Beats the hell out of me,” Gregory said.
“Yes, there is!” Gretchen said. “Chloe!”
“Some wedding,” Gabriel said.
Chloe said, “We need to get out of here before some other crazy thing happens.”
She grabbed his hand. The two of them ran out of the yard, fast.
The two lovers on the run…
“Come back here!” Gretchen screamed.
“Ouch,” Hannah said.
Someone helped her to a seat. A man.
“You all right?” the man asked.
The man was Gregory.
Her eyesight was coming back…a handsome man. “I think so,” she said, and smiled.
He smiled back.
Not bad, she thought.
25
Gabriel and Chloe drove away from the scene in his car, laughing. She threw off her veil, letting it float into the wind. She got out of her dress and tossed the dress out onto the road. They laughed.
She was wearing only panties and garters now, in white.
“Wow,” Gabriel said.
“Is it honeymoon time?” Chloe said.
He parked his car by a cliff overlooking the ocean and…well, you can guess what they did there. People driving by noticed a woman’s two bare legs up in the air.
About the Authors
Janine Ashbless likes unconventional weddings: she was once best man for a male friend and she herself got married in secret…which really upset her new mother-in-law. She has written five erotic books for Black Lace and her short stories appear in anthologies by Black Lace, Cleis (including Best Women’s Erotica 2011) and—starting with Alison’s Wonderland—Harlequin. She lives in the UK and blogs at www.janineashbless.blogspot.com where she enthuses about mythology, Victorian art and minotaurs.
By day, Jax Baynard is a financial investment advisor. By night, she makes her own (and her clients’) fantasies come true. This part-time dominatrix’s short fiction has appeared in Pleasure Bound, online, and in several literary journals. Her favorite weddings are the ones you never think will happen.
Cheyenne Blue combines her two passions in life and writes travel guides and erotica. Her erotica has appeared in several anthologies, including Best Women’s Erotica, Mammoth Best New Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Lesbian Love Stories and on many websites. Her travel guides have been jammed into many glove boxes underneath the chocolate wrappers. She divides her time between Colorado, USA, Australia and Ireland, and is curr
ently working on a book about the quiet and quirky areas of Ireland. Her favorite type of wedding is an Irish one with black pints and singing. Visit her at http://www.cheyenneblue.com.
Rachel Kramer Bussel (www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is an author, editor, blogger and reading-series host. She is senior editor at Penthouse Variations, wrote the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and has contributed to Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, New York Post and other publications. She’s edited over twenty-five anthologies, including Bottoms Up, Spanked, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma’am, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb, Rubber Sex, Dirty Girls, and is the Best Sex Writing series editor. Since October 2005, she has hosted New York’s In The Flesh Reading Series, featuring everyone from Susie Bright to Zane. She cries at weddings but doesn’t anticipate walking down the aisle herself.
Heidi Champa was married on a hot, humid August day eleven years ago. The wedding started with thunder and lightning and ended with a brilliant pink sunset. Her husband has always encouraged her to write, believing her dirty mind should be put to good use. Her work appears in numerous anthologies including Tasting Him, Frenzy, Playing With Fire and Girl Fun One. She has also steamed up the pages of Bust Magazine. If you prefer your erotica in electronic form, she can be found at Clean Sheets, Ravenous Romance, Oysters and Chocolate and The Erotic Woman. Find her online at heidichampa.blogspot.com.
Portia Da Costa is a British author of romance, erotic romance and erotic fiction, who loves writing about sexy, likable people in steamy and wickedly scandalous situations. Her many novels have been translated into languages such as German, Spanish and Dutch, and she’s had well over a hundred short stories published in magazines and anthologies. A passionate believer in matrimony, Portia has been married more years than she cares to count, but she still remembers feeling like a princess on her wedding day. She and her prince live in the heart of West Yorkshire with their cats.
Bella Dean was always the one dodging the bouquet. And she still is. But that doesn’t mean she’s not making eyes at the sexy groomsman or flirting with the caterer. She figures when the right guy comes along, she’ll go straight for the garters. Skip the bouquet. Bella’s work has appeared in Alison’s Wonderland, Pleasure Bound, For the Girls and Afternoon Delight, among others.
Erastes lives in the UK. She writes gay historical romance and believes that marriage is for everyone. Her second novel, Transgressions, was launched in March 09 as part of Running Press’s seminal gay romance line, targeted at both men and women. Her website, which includes many excerpts of her work, can be found at www.erastes.com.
ADR Forte is the author of erotic short fiction that appears in numerous anthologies from Cleis Press, Circlet Press and Black Lace, including Hurts So Good and Pleasure Bound, also edited by Alison Tyler. She once considered wedding cake design, but after a few notably disastrous attempts with the icing and food coloring decided to stick with writing instead. Visit her at www.adrforte.blogspot.com.
Lana Fox has published erotic stories in Alison’s Wonderland and several Xcite anthologies, including Naughty Spanking 1 and Sex, Love and Valentines. Her other short fiction about sexuality has appeared in numerous lit mags. Lana was taught that sex before marriage is sinful, so she had lots and lots of it before getting hitched in white. She is currently working on a collection of erotic stories about sex and magic. You can find her online at http://www.lanafox.com.
If Shanna Germain was a wedding cake, she’d either be red velvet with cream cheese frosting or a bite-size gypsy tart. When she’s not dreaming of new things to put in her mouth, she’s writing. Her award-winning work can be read in places like Best American Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica 2, Best Gay Romance, Best Lesbian Erotica, F is for Fetish, Playing With Fire, X: The Erotic Treasury and on her website, www.shannagermain.com.
P. S. Haven is from Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He began writing dirty stories as a way to turn on his girlfriend. They’ve been married for twelve years, so he did something right. His style is heavily influenced by the works of Hugh Hefner, Henry Ford and David Lee Roth. Haven’s stories have been published in Best American Erotica Series, Playing With Fire: Taboo Erotica, X: The Erotic Treasury, B is for Bondage, Frenzy: 60 Stories of Sudden Sex and many others. He blogs about writing and lots of other stuff at pshaven.blogspot.com.
Michael Hemmingson’s first feature film, The Watermelon, is out on DVD and Blu-Ray, and ends in a possible wedding-on-the-verge: that is, the hero gets the girl. His novels include Wild Turkey, The Comfort of Women and The Dress, along with a collection of erotic stories Sexy Strumpets and Troublesome Trollops.
Kristina Lloyd is the author of three erotic novels including the controversial Black Lace bestseller, Asking for Trouble. Her short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies and her novels have been translated into German, Dutch and Japanese. She has a master’s degree in twentieth-century literature and has been described as “a fresh literary talent” who “writes sex with a formidable force.” The last wedding she attended was in Duras, the French town associated with Marguerite Duras. For more visit kristinalloyd.wordpress.com.
Nikki Magennis is a Scottish writer of erotica and erotic romance who has a habit of falling over at weddings. You can find her short stories in many anthologies including Alison’s Wonderland from Harlequin and the Mammoth Book of the Kama Sutra. Her novels, Circus Excite and The New Rakes, are published by Virgin Black Lace. Find out more at nikkimagennis.blogspot.com.
Sommer Marsden made her own wedding cake. And then the cat ate it. A lovely friend made her second so she didn’t have a nervous breakdown. Even though her original cake did not survive, her marriage is still going strong. She’s been with one very patient, sexy man for a baker’s dozen years (and counting). Sommer is the author of Lucky 13, Double Booked and The Mighty Quinn. Her work has appeared in dozens of anthologies, including Alison’s Wonderland, Best Women’s Erotica 2009 and 2010, Liaisons, and Sex and Satisfaction. According to Ashley Lister (ERWA), she is “renowned for her style of combining exquisite sex with well-realized situations and credible characters.” Visit her at sommermarsden.blogspot.com.
N. T. Morley thinks the happiest marriages start out with strippers at the weddings, not just the bachelor and/or bachelorette parties. Morley’s many novels include The Parlor, The Limousine, The Appointment and The Visitor, as well the trilogies The Castle, The Library and The Office, and a double anthology, MASTER/slave. More can be unearthed at www.ntmorley.com.
Kate Pearce was born into a large family of girls in England, and spent much of her childhood living very happily in a dream world. Despite being told that she really needed to “get with the program,” she graduated from the University College of Wales with a master’s degree in history. A move to the USA finally allowed her to fulfill her dreams and sit down and write that novel. Along with being a voracious reader, Kate loves trail riding with her family, “Western style” in the regional parks of Northern California. Kate is a member of RWA and is published by Kensington Aphrodisia, NAL, Ellora’s Cave, Cleis Press and Virgin Black Lace/Cheek.
A veteran of many friends’ too-elaborate weddings, Thomas S. Roche hopes the next time he wears a tuxedo, he’ll be accepting his first Oscar or dispatching Russian agents. The most romantic wedding he ever attended was inside a rusted-out gun emplacement overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. His widely published short stories have appeared in such venues as the Best American Erotica series, the Best New Erotica series and many other best-of anthologies. He can be found at www.thomasroche.com.
Sophia Valenti loves married men—well, one in particular, who she has adored since their wedding twelve years ago. She thinks the best part of being married is living with your best friend—and having someone strong in the house to open jars. Her erotica has appeared in the Harlequin Spice anthology Alison’s Wonderland and the Cleis Press books Afternoon Delight, Playing with Fire and Pleasure Bound. Visit her at sophiavalenti.blogspot.com.
I.K. Velasco is a corporate slave by d
ay and a slave to her passions at night. She tries to come off as hardcore, but is really a big softie. She’s a bit chagrined to admit that she’s had her dream wedding planned in her head since the age of six—raspberry and chocolate-brown color scheme, pink hydrangeas and a gaggle of bridesmaids, oh my!
Saskia Walker (www.saskiawalker.co.uk) is an award-winning British author whose short fiction appears in over sixty anthologies. Her erotic novels include Along for the Ride, Double Dare, Reckless, Rampant, Inescapable and The Harlot. Saskia lives in the north of England close to the windswept Yorkshire moors, where she happily spends her days spinning yarns. Saskia once attended a wedding on the arm of a horned demon. Saskia was dressed as a cobweb-covered ghoul. The bride and groom were vampires, and the guests included all manner of paranormal creatures. Even the registrar was wearing witch’s garb. The date? All Hallows’ Eve.
Rita Winchester has multiple hideous bridesmaids dresses and nary a bridal gown in sight. But she never says never and she figures the bridesmaids gowns come in handy for Halloween…or witness protection. Her work has appeared in Mammoth Lesbian Erotica, I is for Indecent, Tasting Her, Pleasure Bound, Never Have the Same Sex Twice and Frenzy, among others. You can drop her a line or a rope at [email protected].
Kristina Wright (kristinawright.com) is an award-winning author whose erotica and erotic romance has appeared in over seventy-five anthologies including Bedding Down: A Collection of Winter Erotic, Dirty Girls and the collections Seduction, Liaisons and Sexy Little Numbers. She is also the editor of Fairy Tale Lust: Bedtime Stories for Women. Her writing is inspired by her own happily-ever-after tale: she married her soul mate after a whirlwind six-month long-distance relationship. Twenty years later, she is happy to say she would do it all again.
About the Editor
Called a “trollop with a laptop” by East Bay Express, a “literary siren” by Good Vibrations and “erotica’s own superwoman” by the East Bay Literary Examiner, Alison Tyler has made being naughty a full-time job. Her sultry short stories have appeared in more than a hundred anthologies including Sex for America, Liaisons and Bedding Down. She is the editor of fifty erotic anthologies, including Alison’s Wonderland, Naked Erotica and Naughty Fairy Tales from A to Z. Her twenty-five novels include Tiffany Twisted, Melt With You and Something About Workmen.