She’d lined her eyes with what looked like a purple crayon, and they bugged out at me. “You’re pregnant,” she said.
“No. Don’t be stupid.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay.…”
And then, like they say in court, I told them the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
“Ohhh, Jamie,” Krista said, when I was finished, “I wish you’d said something before.” She pulled me up off the couch and wrapped her arms around me. Liz joined in, encircling both of us. At that point, I burst into tears because I was so relieved they knew.
We stood there, all of us crying, until a familiar voice said, “Can I get in on this hug too?”
We pulled apart. Trent grinned at us.
“Do we know you?” Krista asked.
He put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “I’m the cute guy who gives Jamie free coffee every morning.”
“You heard that?” I asked. Oh, God. How embarrassing.
“I hear everything that happens in the Coffee Klatch,” he said in a silly deep voice. “Bwahahahaah.” I guess he realized the look I gave him was not admiration for his eavesdropping skills because he added, “That’s all I heard. Really. I was just walking by at the right moment.”
“So you’re the boss?” Krista asked.
“That’s him,” I said. “Trent, meet Krista and Liz.”
“Hey,” he said. “Jamie’s told me all about you.”
“She has?” Krista asked.
“Not really, but that’s what you’re supposed to say, right?” He still had his arm draped over my shoulder, and the heat of it was burning into me, making me feel a bit…well, fluttery.
“How come you’re here now?” I asked, trying to think about something besides how close he was standing to me.
“Upgrading the computers,” he said. “So do you want to tell Dr. Trent why you were all hugging and crying in the middle of the café?”
“Not really,” I said.
Trent’s grin was contagious, though, and I started to giggle at the absurdity of it all…us sobbing in the Coffee Klatch, me keeping all this from my friends, and Trent…cute Trent with the coffee-colored eyes and movie camera tattoo. Krista began to laugh too, and before we knew it, we were all cracking up.
“I feel so much better,” I said, wiping at the tears.
“Me too,” Trent said.
I shoved him down onto the couch, and he pulled me next to him. My friends sat across from us smiling like they’d never seen anything so adorable. Sheesh. All I’d said was he was cute. We weren’t a couple or anything.
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
“Let’s go bowling,” Trent suggested.
“Bowling?” the rest of us said together.
“That’s kind of random,” Krista added.
“I’m a random kind of guy,” Trent said. “No, seriously, it’ll be cool. You get to wear those funky shoes and throw things. It’s a great stress reliever. And you guys all look really tense.”
“And they have those goopy fake-cheese nachos,” Liz added.
“Exactly,” Trent said. “Let’s go.”
Krista rode to Twenty-One Lanes with Liz, and I went with Trent. I sank into the front seat of his car and for the first time in forever, I felt so relaxed.
“Has LaVon told you anything about my circumstances?” I asked.
“Well…,” he said. I could tell he didn’t want to rat out LaVon.
“It’s okay.”
“All he really said was you’re on your own and you rent the room next to him.”
“Yeah.…So do you even want to know my story, or would that be too much information?”
We’d stopped at a red light. “If you’re ready to tell me,” he said.
“Are you as good of a guy as you appear to be?”
“Definitely not.” I could hear the laughter behind his serious tone.
I didn’t believe it. He was one of the good ones. At least, I hoped so. The light changed, and someone honked behind us.
“Well,” I said, “that guy, Josh…he was my boyfriend, but he belonged to this crazy church.”
I was still talking when we got to the bowling alley. I told Trent everything. Even about Mom’s drug problems and how afraid I was that if anyone found out I was on my own, they’d send me to live with her. He didn’t say much, but I knew he was listening. After a while, it occurred to me that I’d had this potentially great support network around me all this time and I’d been afraid to use it because I thought I had to be strong and take care of myself just to prove I wasn’t like my mother. When I ran out of things to say, we sat there, but it wasn’t awkward. Peaceful, actually. Liz and Krista got out of their car and waved at us, pointing at the bowling alley, indicating they’d be inside, and we waved back.
“So this Josh guy,” Trent finally said, “he’s out of the picture?”
“Completely,” I said.
Except for the stupid Popsicle thing. I still had to track him down and find out what that was all about.
Trent nodded his head. “Cool.”
“But I owe you an apology,” I said.
“For what?”
Oh, God. This was going to be the hardest part of all. “I…I was still going out with Josh when you and I met. And I shouldn’t have flirted with you like that. It wasn’t right.”
He shifted in his seat, gazing out the window. “It wasn’t your smartest move ever,” he said. “It kind of made me mad when I found out.”
“You should’ve been really pissed.”
“Mostly I was just bummed,” he said. “That you had a boyfriend, not about the flirting. I kind of liked that because, you know, and I mean this in the best possible way, but aside from being really hot, you’re also really goofy.”
“Me?” I said, laughing. “Everything goofy I know I learned from you!”
“Yeah, probably.”
“But there’s one more thing,” I said.
“Why do I think I’m not going to like this part?” he asked, his face serious for once.
“The thing is,” I said, “my life is really screwed up right now. I like you, but…”
He sighed. “But you’re not ready for a new relationship, right? Story of my life. Okay. That’s fine. We can just be friends.”
“Really?”
“Sure,” he said. “Why not? But I won’t wait for you forever, you know? No more than twenty years, tops. Or possibly twenty-five. Maybe thirty, but only if you keep wearing those low-cut sweaters I like so much. And that’s my final offer too.”
“You’re making it really hard for me not to throw myself at you and kiss you all over,” I said.
His expression perked up. “Really?”
“Really.” I leaned in, but then Krista pounded on my window, making us jump.
“Well, that romantic moment’s kind of shot,” Trent said, and I laughed.
“I thought we were bowling,” Krista yelled through the glass.
“We are!” Trent said. He leapt out of the car, ran around, opened my door, and bellowed, “Are you ready to boooooooowwwwwwllllll?”
There’d be time for running my fingers through Trent’s hair later.
“I am sooooooo ready to bowl!” I yelled back.
“Race you,” he said, tearing off across the parking lot, and I ran after him, my lungs filling with fresh air and my conscience light.
The next day, at my locker, I spun the combination, pulled the door open, and that stupid empty Popsicle box I’d held on to fell off the shelf and hit me in the forehead. In a blinding flash of memory, I made the connection.
chapter 25
BY THE TIME KRISTA FOUND ME HUDDLED AGAINST the locker, my entire body shook as if I’d been dipped in ice water.
“You’ve got to help me!” I said, grabbing at her.
“Jamie. You look horrible. What’s wrong?”
“He needs help. It’s a message. He’s trying to tell me he needs help.”
“Why did it take me so long to remember?” I demanded. “Josh brought me a note to work almost a week ago! I’m a terrible daughter.”
“Jamie, you’re not making sense. Tell me what is going on.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I said.
Krista laid a cool hand on my forehead like she thought I had a fever.
“What’s wrong with her?” I heard someone ask.
“I think she’s delirious. She just keeps babbling,” Krista said. “And she’s shaking.”
“Maybe we should take her to the nurse.”
Through my haze, I looked up and saw Liz hovering over me, her hair neatly tucked up into its bun.
“No! Not the nurse. I need to talk to Josh,” I said.
“Why?” Krista asked.
“The Popsicle box. It’s a message from my dad.”
“What?” they both asked.
“My dad, he needs help,” I tried to explain. “When I was little, when my mom…when…”
“What about your mom?” Krista asked gently.
“When…she did drugs…and she had boyfriends…and…and…”
The warning bell ripped through the hallway.
“Come on,” Krista said, getting me up on my feet. “Mr. Lazby teaches English first period in his classroom. No one will be in the drama room.”
Liz and Krista surrounded me like a protective wall and led me downstairs. Krista turned on Mr. Lazby’s desk lamp, and we sank onto the piles of cushions he kept for us, since there weren’t any chairs.
“Now,” Krista said, “start at the beginning.”
I took a bunch of slow, deep breaths. “When I lived with my mom…” They nodded encouragingly at me, and the familiar smell of the room’s fresh paint and musty pillows calmed my nerves. “And…she…well, as you know, she did drugs,” I continued.
They waited.
“My dad and I had a code. It was a sort of cry-for-help thing. I could call him anytime, just to hear his voice, but if I was ever in real trouble, I was supposed to give him the code.”
Krista squeezed my hand. “And?” she asked.
“It was Blue Raspberry Popsicle. And that’s why Josh keeps leaving me notes about Popsicles.”
They stared at me like maybe I’d lost it. “Don’t you see?” I said. “Dad told Josh our secret code because he needs my help.”
The rest of the day, I stayed on the lookout for Josh, but of course, he never let me near him. He’d said his dad and the Teacher read his e-mails and text messages, so I couldn’t risk contacting him that way either, unless I wanted to get him in trouble. And I still cared about what happened to him. In fact, I missed him, but I never mentioned that to my friends because Krista and Liz couldn’t understand what I saw in him when he’d treated me so badly.
“You should just ride your ass over to the church and say you wanna see your dad,” LaVon told me that night.
He had practically forced my dinner on me, handing me one egg roll after another, reminding me to bite and chew when I sat there too long not eating.
“I guess I have to,” I said. “I’m thinking if he sent a message instead of calling the school, then he must be in real trouble, though. Maybe they’ve got him locked up or something.”
“Could be.”
“Will you go with me?”
“Not my scene.”
“Please?”
“No way. Them church people’ll call the cops. I’m only two months and three days away from being clean and sober for one year. I get picked up for anything now, my daughter’ll be all over me.” He did a falsetto voice that I guess was supposed to be his daughter. “I knew I couldn’t trust you. You say you goin’ straight, but are you? I don’t think so!” In his regular voice he said, “I ain’t takin’ no chances.”
“Why would they call the police?” I asked.
“Trust me,” he said. “They’d take one look at my beautiful face and find a reason.”
On Thursday morning, as I rode my bicycle to school, I couldn’t help feeling that same athletic rush I get when I dance. It would be March in a few days, and the air was still sharp, but you could tell spring was coming. It felt good in my lungs. I should’ve been happy with weather like this, but the worry over my dad was too strong. I was locking my bike to the rack when Krista and Liz came running up to me.
“Have you talked to Josh?” Krista asked.
“I just got here.”
“I meant last night,” she said.
I shook my head. I’d felt so desperate after talking it over with LaVon, I’d almost phoned Derrick, since Josh wouldn’t answer my calls, but in the end I thought it might make matters worse for my dad.
Krista took my arm and led me into the school. “It doesn’t matter anyway because we have a plan.”
Because Mr. Lazby spent all his time in the costume shop, it was super easy to lift a couple of hall passes out of his desk. We filled in one excusing me from fifth period study hall, saying I was needed at the theater, and one for Josh, which we had Liz’s little sister, Megan, deliver to his gym teacher at the beginning of the period while the class was still in the locker room changing. The pass said Josh was wanted in the office, and because the intercom in the gym was dicey at best, and Megan looks so innocent, Coach didn’t get suspicious at all.
I hid inside the bathroom door, waiting for Josh to walk by. When I heard the squeak of athletic shoes on the polished linoleum in the hallway, I peeked around and saw him coming. As he passed, I leapt out, grabbed his arm, and put all my weight into dragging him into the bathroom. Josh was almost a foot taller than me, but the element of surprise and my strong dancer legs had given me the advantage. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten he was a “hit first, ask questions later” type of guy. He swung his arm around, his rock-hard fist clipping the very edge of my jaw, sending me reeling.
“What the hell’s going on?” he demanded. And then he saw it was me. I clutched at my face, my skin burning like I’d touched it with a hot curling iron, tears already filling my eyes.
“Oh, my God!” I mumbled. “I think you broke my jaw.”
He squatted down next to me and pried my hand away from my face. “Jeez, Jamie, are you okay? You scared the crap outta me. Let me see.” Gently he touched the side of my face with his fingertips, running his hand up and down my jawbone. “Open your mouth…okay, good…close it…I don’t think it’s broken, but maybe you should go to the nurse.”
I struggled to my feet. “I’m fine. Just…” Stars floated in front of my eyes, and Josh reached out to steady me.
“Sit,” he said, guiding me to the floor. “Wait here.”
“No! Josh, no. I need to talk to you.”
“Shhh…we’re gonna get busted for being out of class. Wait here. I’ll be right back. I promise.”
I leaned my head against the cool tile wall. This was not how it was supposed to go. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to ask him about my dad, and now he was gone. I held my hand to my aching jaw, and tears slid over my fingers, dropping onto the concrete. Oh, gross. I was on the bathroom floor. I had to get up. I reached for the sink to give myself something to hold on to, but before I was on my feet, Josh was back.
“You need to sit down,” he said. He shook a cold pack to activate it and handed it to me. “I had one in my locker left over from football season.”
I pressed it to my throbbing face, instantly feeling a little relief. “Thanks.”
Josh squatted down next to me. “Why’d you drag me in here?”
“Because you left me a note at work that said ‘Blue Raspberry Popsicles,’ and I’ve been trying to find you to ask you about it ever since, but you won’t let me get within half a mile of you.”
“Oh, right.” He sat down next to me. “I don’t know what that means. Do you?”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “You�
�ve been leaving me messages, and you don’t know why?”
“Well, yeah. Your dad seemed so stressed about it. Like telling you he said ‘Blue Raspberry Popsicles’ was the most important thing in the world. I felt bad for him, so I said I’d get you the message. I figured it was something from your childhood.…You know, like he wanted you to know he was sorry or he’s all right or something.”
I stared at Josh. How could he be so dense? “Josh, they are a message…code for he’s in big trouble and needs help. Why didn’t you just tell me in person?”
“I tried,” he said. “I went to your work, but you weren’t there.”
“And you couldn’t have written a better note than that?” I asked.
“I should’ve, but that guy…well, he wasn’t very friendly and I didn’t know if he’d give it to you or not. He wouldn’t tell me what motel you were staying in.”
I wanted to smile, thinking of Trent protecting me, but my face hurt too much.
“I got the note,” I said, “but it didn’t mean much without an explanation.”
Josh reached out and cupped my chin. “Your face,” he said. “I’m so sorry about your beautiful face.” He kissed me on the forehead, and I almost raised my mouth to meet his, but I shoved him away instead.
“Stop it! All I want to know is what’s going on with my dad. Why is he sending me messages? Why doesn’t he just leave?”
“They won’t let him,” Josh said. “Because of the inheritance.”
“They must know the money is all tied up. The most he can give them is his monthly allowance. My grandpa knew better than to trust him with it all at once.”
“They’ll take it however they can get it. Besides, they’ve made him a disciple. He knows too much about the inner workings of the church for them to let him go without a fight now.”
The pain in my jaw had moved up to my cheek, and my entire head hurt. What was Josh talking about…the inner workings of the church? The ache in my face made it hard to follow the conversation.
“Are they keeping him there by force, Josh? Is that why he’s sending me messages?”
“Well…”
Panic surged through me. “They haven’t beaten him up, have they?”
The Right and the Real Page 18