by Regina Darcy
However, Charlotte intended something very different.
“I shall wear my light blue silk,” she instructed her maid upon entering the room. “And do hurry. I shall need my hair prepared in whatever style you think best.”
Her maid stared at her for a moment, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to respond to Charlotte’s unusual request.
“Hurry!” Charlotte cried, hiding a smile at the maid’s astonishment “It is only a few hours before we depart for the soiree”.
Sitting at her dressing table, Charlotte looked at her reflection in the mirror and began to pull the pins from her hair. It fell in soft waves around her shoulders, immediately softening her appearance.
It was a strange sensation to see herself in such a way, since she had endeavoured to dress so severely of late, but given Theodora’s obsession with Lord Markham, Charlotte felt as though she had no choice.
The invitation to the soiree had caused a great deal of excitement. Theodora had been in seventh heaven, whilst her uncle and aunt were equally delighted with the invitation, having apparently met the Marquess on one previous occasion.
It did not surprise Charlotte that she had not been introduced to the Marquess herself, for she spent most of these social occasions hiding in whatever shadows she could find. It suited her well enough and, even though her aunt and uncle had always encouraged her to dance and become more involved, she had always refused.
Tonight’s soiree, however, was going to be quite different. There was a particular reason for her to don a beautiful gown and have her hair done just so. She intended to show Theodora that the man she thought so highly of was nothing more than a rake, just as every other gentleman of high title was. She had no need to get to know him better. She knew exactly the kind of man Lord Markham was.
She would smile and bat her eyes and do everything she had once done to be hailed “a diamond of the first water” in order to draw Markham’s attention, although she would only dance once with him, of course. Her sister would slowly see that Lord Markham was simply caught up in the beauty of a lady’s face rather than being interested in her character or the like. It would be a difficult lesson, but Charlotte would rather hurt her sister now than see her caught up in a life of pain and sadness whilst her husband lost himself in an indolent lifestyle. Her sister would see that falling in love was a fools errand. Gentleman did not care about such feelings, it was all just pretence. Charlotte had fallen for it once before and would not allow her sister to do the same.
Her toilette was almost complete.
Charlotte drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm her fraught nerves. She had slowly transformed into the beauty she had once been. She clenched her hands in her lap.
The maid had done a wonderful job, but Charlotte found it trying to see herself so changed.
Her fear had her suddenly desperate for her tight bun and drab gowns. Truth be told, she was almost on the verge of asking her maid to take her elaborate hairdo down when Theodora burst in, her expression exuberant.
“Oh, my!” Theodora stopped, stock-still, her hands at her mouth as she gazed at Charlotte.
Charlotte tried to smile. “You need not look so surprised, Theodora.”
“My goodness, I had forgotten just how beautiful you are,” Theodora breathed, her eyes aglow. “Charlotte, when did you decide to do this?”
Still trying to keep her smile fixed, Charlotte tried to calm the fluttering butterflies in her stomach.
“Ever since you crushed my spectacles,” she replied, trying to inject a note of mirth in her words. “Besides, I know how much tonight means to you.”
Theodora’s eyes suddenly filled with sparkling tears.
“Oh, my dear sister. I cannot tell you how much this means to me!” As Charlotte rose, Theodora embraced her gently before pulling out a handkerchief and dabbing at her eyes. “I am quite sure Lord Markham will meet with your approval, if you only would give him the chance.”
“I intend to do just that,” Charlotte replied, the lie rolling easily off her tongue. “Now, is the carriage ready?”
“We have a few minutes more, there is no particular hurry,” Theodora smiled, putting her handkerchief away. “I just wanted to ensure you were ready to leave.” She turned to leave Charlotte alone, only to catch her hand and press it again.
“Again, Charlotte, this means more to me than I can say. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Charlotte replied instinctively, her heart slowly sinking into her toes as her giddy sister left the room.
FIVE
“Are you quite ready?”
Charlotte nodded and smiled at her uncle as she descended from the carriage.
“I must say, I am glad to see you so wonderfully dressed up today, Charlotte,” her uncle commented gruffly. “It makes a change.”
Her aunt laughed as she stepped out beside Charlotte. “What your uncle means to say is that you look beautiful, my dear.”
Charlotte blushed, looking up at the house before them. “I thank you both. It is a big change for me, I must confess, but Theodora wishes me to make a good impression, and so I thought it best to do so.”
Her aunt patted her hand. “And that is very good of you. I am quite sure you will have a wonderful time, Charlotte. You need not hide yourself away, as I have always said.”
Charlotte could not find another thing to say, waves of anxiety rippling through her as she walked into the house. She felt exposed, entirely without disguise, her true self revealed in all its fullness. Given her sister’s reaction, she fully expected Lord Markham to have as much, if not more, astonishment than Theodora. That was just what she needed. It would be the opportunity she needed to show Theodora that Lord Markham simply was not worthy of her heart.
Walking into the drawing room, Charlotte caught her breath, pressing one hand lightly against her stomach in an attempt to calm her nerves. Theodora spotted her beloved Lord Markham almost at once and he came over to greet her immediately, first greeting their aunt and uncle, as was proper.
“My dear Miss Theodora, I am so glad you could attend our little soiree!” he exclaimed, taking her hand and executing a near perfect bow over it. “And Miss Cadogan…” He trailed off as he regarded her, his expression growing astonished. “My, you are very changed since I saw you last, if you will forgive my impertinence!”
Charlotte smiled softly. “It is very good of you to say, Lord Markham.”
“Now,” Lord Markham continued, suddenly turning his attention back to Theodora. “There shall be music and dancing very soon, and I insist that you keep at least one for me.”
“Of course I shall,” Theodora beamed, leaving Charlotte to feel a distinct sense of failure. Lord Markham had not given her more than a single look before returning his gaze back to Theodora. This was not what she had expected.
“Ah, Miss Theodora!”
Charlotte tried to smile as Lord Markham’s brother, the Marquess of Astor, appeared by his side. She saw him glance at her, only to turn his head properly and regard her again.
“And my dear Miss Cadogan!” he exclaimed, his eyes practically glowing with warmth. “May I saw how stunning you look this evening.”
Thanking him, Charlotte dropped into a quick curtsy, hoping that the blush she felt growing in her cheeks would not become too obvious. Capturing the Marquess’s attention was not what she wanted, despite the fact that she was sure he would expect her to seek such a thing. However, when she looked up, not only did she see that Lord Markham was making eyes at her sister, but that Lord Astor was also!
“My dear Miss Theodora, you are utterly breath-taking this evening,” the Marquess stated, bending over her hand. “Now, you must come and dance. I insist upon it.” He offered Theodora his arm, and given that she had very little choice, Theodora took it.
Charlotte stood, watching in amazement as her sister was taken from Lord Markham’s side, almost unwillingly. She had not expected both men to be so attenti
ve to her sister! What was going on?
“I—I should ask you if you would like to dance, Miss Cadogan,” Lord Markham said, his eyes straying from Theodora to Charlotte for a moment. “Should you be interested?”
“I should, very much,” Charlotte replied at once, banishing the surprised expression from her face and replacing it with a warm smile. However, Lord Markham did not seem to notice in the least, for even when she took his arm, he did not look at her. There was no smile on his face, no happiness in his eyes. In fact, all he seemed to care about was getting as close to Theodora as possible.
Charlotte’s heart sank into her toes. She had made a misjudgement, it seemed. Lord Markham was quite taken with Theodora, although that did not mean she would sanction such an attachment. Lord Markham, if he was true in his affections, had a great deal still yet to prove. The first flurry of affection did not always come to fruition, nor did it mean it would prove to be anything of substance, as she well knew. Theodora was going to have to be careful.
She smiled at her partner, but Lord Markham was still watching Theodora, who was looking back at him with a somewhat agonised expression. Charlotte felt a growing bewilderment, realising that her presence was doing absolutely nothing to separate the two of them. Her plan had failed entirely, and she felt more than a little foolish.
Lord Astor, however, was trying his best to engage Theodora in conversation, although from what Charlotte could see, he was not too successful! Theodora was not answering him very often, and, since her gaze kept straying towards Lord Markham, Lord Astor was not exactly the focus of her attention! Charlotte allowed her gaze to linger on the man for a moment longer, heat rushing through her veins like molten lead. His dress was impeccable, his expression warm, and Charlotte knew she could not deny her attraction to him.
Turning her head away, focusing on Lord Markham once more, Charlotte berated herself for such a feeling. She hardly knew the man, and here she was looking at him as though he were a handsome face and nothing more! Had she not already learned about such men? Had she not already learned from her folly?
More than ever, Charlotte wished she was back in her drab old dress with her hair pinned back. She was aware that she was inciting a great many looks from the other gentlemen who were dancing in their set, but all she felt was uncomfortable. She had to take a turn with them each, of course, and they all looked at her with astonishment in their eyes, which then turned into something very different. If she could, Charlotte would have cursed her beauty and turned herself into a much plainer creature. She did not like such attention, knowing that none of the gentlemen cared anything for her heart, but only for how pretty she might look on their arm.
When the dance came to an end, Charlotte allowed Lord Markham to lead her back to the refreshments, far too aware that he was twisting his head this way and that in order to locate Theodora. Her shoulders slumped, as Theodora came to join them and was almost immediately whisked away by Lord Markham, who seemed intent to have her to himself for the rest of the evening. Her aunt and uncle were nowhere to be seen, which meant that her aunt was probably busy chatting with some acquaintances whilst her uncle would have found his way to the card table. That left Charlotte entirely alone.
Procuring herself a glass of a cold beverage, Charlotte slowly made her way around the room, smiling and nodding at various acquaintances, before finding her way to an open door that seemed to lead into a small garden of sorts.
Here, at least, she could hide for a moment. Here, she would be able to gather her thoughts, regain her composure, and strengthen her resolve. Then she would go back in and continue as best she could. It was the only way she was going to get through the rest of the night.
Sighing heavily to herself, Charlotte set her now empty glass down on a small table to her left before wandering into the gardens. The night air was cool but not cold, and Charlotte enjoyed leaving the noise of the soiree behind her. She did not have to pretend to smile, nor accept compliments with grace and poise. That was something of a relief in itself.
“You are walking out here alone, Miss Cadogan?”
Charlotte let out a small shriek of fright, turning around to see Lord Astor leaning lazily against the wall of a small alcove. He was looking at her in amusement, one eyebrow raised. Charlotte found that she could not speak, such was her surprise, putting her hand to her chest in an attempt to regain her breath.
“I do apologise if I startled you,” he continued, pushing himself away from the wall and coming towards her. “Are you quite all right?”
“Yes, yes, thank you,” Charlotte replied, managing to calm herself down. “I didn’t know anyone was out here.”
A look of understanding came into his eyes. “I see. You wanted some quiet. I understand.”
Charlotte managed to smile. “I find crowds a little trying at times.”
“As well you might when you are as beautiful as you are,” he commented quietly, his eyes suddenly filling with an intensity that took her breath away. “Why did you hide yourself away before?”
“Hide myself away?” Charlotte repeated breathlessly. “Oh, you mean my attire.”
His eyes twinkled as he grinned. “Yes, that is exactly what I meant. Although, I will admit to being drawn to you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. You are beautiful no matter what you chose to swathe yourself in.” His smile broadened. “Without being rude, I almost didn’t recognise you when you first came in. You intended to surprise someone, perhaps?”
Charlotte flushed, embarrassment creeping up her spine. “No, indeed. I have no interest in pursuing anyone.”
“Is that so?” he murmured, drawing closer to her. “Well, that is a shame, I must say.”
Charlotte tried to speak but found that she couldn’t. He was too close, his heat too near. She did not know what was happening. Her body was suddenly bursting into life, her heart thundering in her chest like a galloping racehorse.
“My dear Miss Cadogan,” the Marquess murmured, trailing one gentle finger down her cheek. “You are quite irresistible.”
SIX
Charlotte’s skin burned as Lord Astor dropped his hand, his gaze moving, unfettered, around her features. Stars began to sparkle in her vision, her eyes drifting to his mouth. She could not tell why his lips had suddenly become so alluring, nor why everything in her was strongly focused on Lord Astor, but regardless, a deep desire for his attentions was simmering within her.
She did not step away when he inched closer, nor when he put one gentle hand on her shoulder, sliding it gently down her arm until it settled on her waist, his eyes never leaving hers. Charlotte took a deep breath, then immediately regretted it. Her senses where assaulted by the delicious scent of him. Pine mingled with a seductive aroma that was 100% male. Her knees weakened and she grabbed on to him, so as not to fall. Her hands on his solid chest, only made her body burn hotter with an inner flame, with each passing second.
“Miss Cadogan, I…” Lord Astor’s whispered voice trailed off, his mouth slightly ajar as he looked down at her.
Charlotte knew she should step away, that she should flee from him and from this place, but her body simply refused to move. Her mind should be screaming at her that she knew better than to go near a man with such a magnetic pull, but instead it was languid and quiet, caught up with him entirely.
When he moved to kiss her, Charlotte closed her eyes, gripped his shirt, and responded to him at once. His mouth was soft and warm, his hands tightening around her waist. Charlotte kissed him back with a hunger that surprised even her. It was only the second time she had been kissed, but it was as if she wanted to erase the memory of the first by replacing it with the second.
Lord Astor angled his head just a little, one hand straying from her waist to caress the back of her neck, his thumb resting gently against the column of her throat. Charlotte tentatively put her head against his chest, an agonising happiness settling itself into her heart.
“Astor?” a voice called out into the ni
ght.
Lord Astor jumped back from her at once, his eyes wide in the soft light. Charlotte was left gasping for breath as the cold night air demanded her senses return to normal.
What had she done? Had she truly just been kissing the Marquess of Astor, without any kind of regard for her own reputation? Had she learned nothing from her past experiences of gentlemen? Was she not, this very night, trying to prevent Theodora from making a similar mistake?
“Astor? Are you out here?”
Charlotte watched as Lord Astor gave her a short bow, not quite able to look into her eyes before hurrying away. She heard him reply to the gentleman who had been calling him, laughing aloud at something before going back indoors.
Charlotte sank down onto a small bench, her mind blurred with too many thoughts, too many regrets, too many repentances.
Foolish, foolish girl!
Berating herself over and over for the stupidity of what she had done, Charlotte tried not to think about how she had reacted to Lord Astor’s closeness. He had made sparks fly all about her, lighting her world with pleasure and delight for just a few moments. And she had been lost to it all, not thinking clearly about what the consequences could be.
If someone had caught them, then marriage would have been their only option. Charlotte tried her utmost to be horrified at such a thought but discovered that much to her own chagrin, she was not as displeased by it as she ought to be. To be his wife, to be on his arm, to share kisses and caresses with him for the rest of their earthly life…that did not appear to her to be a bad thing. Her face flushed red.
“I should not be desiring him in this way,” Charlotte told herself, rising to her feet and brushing off her skirts. “I have quite lost my mind.”