A Sea of Smoke: A Dark Romance (A War of Hearts Book 2)

by Karen Lynn

  Could he really, though? Doubtful, she didn't dare look at him.

  “He's about to have a nervous breakdown. He wants to see me, just once more before he goes in...”

  “What the fuck?” He jumped up, the beer spilling from the bottle onto his leg. He paced, aware he had to calm down no matter what. Fighting the increasing agitation, he pushed his hair back focusing on her. “Why? Every time he gets scared you have to run to him? Were you there holding his hand when he bashed Ray's skull in?”

  He glared at her, remembering how many times he asked himself that exact same question. How involved was she? I wonder what she’s holding back from me, what she actually knows.

  She couldn't ignore the pain in his eyes, but feared touching him. “Jake, please, I couldn't live with myself if he killed himself in there!”

  He froze, staring at her in disbelief, then laughed at the irony of it. His eyes clouded. “How are you gonna survive for a year without him, Kristen? What about for the rest of your life, our life together, without him? Huh?” He stood in front of her, his face close. When her body tensed, he backed away, still watching her.

  “No. It's not like that, once he's away, it will be easier. We can go on with our lives. We can start over, brand new.”

  Neither of them were convinced.

  His eyes narrowed as he studied the torment in her face. “Do you want me to leave? Seriously, just tell me and I'm outta here. For good. You can visit him in prison every day, camp outside and wait for him, whatever you want.”

  “No, Jake that's not what I want, I mean it!” She leaped up, grabbing his arm.

  For some insane reason he believed her, although he wouldn’t allow himself to yield to her demands, regardless of the cost. They were quiet for a few minutes. He thought about it, but remained unwilling to let her detect any vulnerability.

  “I’m telling you I don’t want you to go Kristen. Take it from there.”

  Their eyes locked, until he turned away, leaving her in a tug of war with her emotions.

  What am I going to do now? I can’t lose Jake again. I know it is over with Logan, but I still have to see him one last time.

  WEDNESDAY

  KRISTEN

  That familiar bad vibe hit Kristen the minute Cassandra opened her door. This time she sensed it was more than the woman’s peculiar attitude or the judgmental thoughts she visualized storming in her head. Despite the fact she’d confirmed the bruises were gone before she left the house, she touched her throat self-consciously. Cassandra didn’t flinch. There had to be another reason.

  “I’m so sorry Kristen. I cannot watch baby Alex today.” Cassandra fidgeted in the doorway anxious to end the interaction.

  It took a second for her words to have an impact on Kristen. She shifted Alex in her arms, the weight of this unexpected rejection bearing down on her. “If it has to do with last time, I promise I’ll only be gone for an hour or two. Really, I won’t be late.”

  Cassandra appeared flustered, but inflexible. Raising her eyebrows for emphasis, her eyes swept over the baby’s peaceful face, before lowering. “No, I cannot. Not today. I’m so sorry.”

  Unwilling to accept her decision, Kristen struggled to formulate a convincing argument. Cassandra stepped back, closing the door on them. Stunned, Kristen opened her mouth but couldn’t think of anything else to say. It was 8:00 a.m. She had four hours to come up with an alternate plan of action.

  * * *

  After cruising along A1A several times, the bright blue vista flashing by in front of her, Kristen finally parked along the sand. Alex was nestled in his car seat sound asleep. Taking deep breaths to steady her nerves, she stepped out into the warm afternoon sunlight.

  Sinking to the side of the car, the tingling in her skin gave way to little tremors.

  It’s not too late to turn around. I don’t have to go through with this.

  Even with her oversized sunglasses snug on her nose, the glare was blinding. Lifting her hand up to shield her eyes, she peered into the distance at the colorful patio of The Red Sun Café. Was it her imagination or did she actually hear laughter and smell the potent aroma of their infamous café con leche? With a hint of sadness in her eyes, she recalled the times she’d almost exploded after pigging out at one of their huge buffets, the café one of her and Logan’s favorite places to go for brunch.

  But that was before Alex was born. An eternity ago.

  Alex’s whimpers trickled through the open passenger side window knocking her back to the present. Time to get it over with.

  She decided to enter the patio dining area from the street entrance since it was easier than maneuvering the stroller through the crowded bar. Or perhaps it was because it gave her an out, the chance to take off into the street if she lost her nerve.

  It wasn’t surprising that Alex was restless and alert. Lunchtime was already fifteen minutes over due. She had to laugh picturing Jake’s cranky attitude whenever he was hungry. Like father like son and if she didn’t feed Alex in the next five minutes there would be a roaring commotion that would no longer be a laughing matter.

  Settling down at a partially shaded corner table, she adjusted the large umbrella and dug into the baby bag for his bottle, bringing the nipple to his lips. It failed to completely pacify him.

  “You really are a momma’s boy aren’t you my little dove?”

  She smiled gently caressing one of his outstretched arms, before lifting him onto her lap. Instantly he grabbed a lock of hair, his eyes content as he slurped down his lunch.

  Now she could let her own eyes roam the area. The patio was full to capacity but she didn’t bother to search for him. Biting her lip in apprehension, she slumped lower hoping to blend in and buy some time before the waitress disturbed her. Hopefully her heartbeat would slow down by then.

  * * *

  Logan was restless. Finishing off his beer, he bounced off the barstool to get a clearer view of the café. Something pulled him out to the patio.

  It’s already 12:30! She’s late. Where the hell is she?

  At his wits end, he manipulated his way along the narrow patio, blind to everyone around him. His eyes landed on a table tucked away in the corner, the large umbrella blocking his view until a flash of copper caught his eye. Practically crying out with relief, he sped past a waiter shoving a cart filled with dishes.

  When he saw the baby in her lap, he did a double take and froze. Startled by his presence she looked up, her lips curling into a grin as she drew Alex closer to her chest.

  “Krissy. I was waiting inside for you. Why didn’t you go to the bar like we agreed?” He knelt down beside her before she could open her mouth.

  He wasn’t expecting her to bring the kid when he gave in to her demand to meet at a public place. But there he was.

  Trying not to dwell on it or let his disappointment overwhelm him, he pulled his eyes away, focusing on the rosy flush spreading across her cheeks.

  Screw it! I’ll get her to come back home with me. I always do.

  She shrugged at the disturbed expression on his face. “I couldn’t get a sitter. Are you staying or what?” Her eyes flipped to the chair alongside the stroller.

  Tough luck if he isn’t happy about it, I had no choice. And this way I won’t be tempted to go back to the condo with him. Looking away, she hoped he couldn’t tell how unconvinced she still was.

  “What are you drinking? Beer or wine?” Without acknowledging Alex, he scooted the chair closer to her, planting a quick kiss on her lips before she could block it. Anxious to get on with it, he gestured for the waiter.

  “Ice tea.” Good girl Kristen. Just like you promised yourself. Stay sober and you will be fine.

  Logan frowned, gaping at her like she was insane. “Really? How come?”

  Ignoring his question, she bounced Alex on her knee while hiding behind the menu. At the very same moment she asked for the ice tea, her stomach grumbled. With a quick glance at Logan, she dropped the menu, quickly adding a burger a
nd salad to the order.

  Logan eyed her with increasing desire. Every time she peeked at him, he became more and more convinced she was there for one thing and one thing only, the same as he was. Not wanting to waste a second he ordered the first item he found then sat back fantasizing about having her for dessert. And getting wasted. Lately the two went hand in hand, and he was obsessed.

  His eyes danced across her face down to her chest. She tugged her lace sweater snuggly across her breasts to keep him from fixating on her hardened nipples, without success. As if on cue, Alex’s whimpers knocked her back to her senses. You idiot Kristen. You forgot all about burping him!

  Seizing the opportunity to block Logan’s view, she hoisted the baby higher onto her shoulder, vigorously tapping his back. Alex’s loud burp startled her to laugh.

  “I hope he doesn’t puke all over you.” Logan grunted, shaking his head in disgust.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure it’s only on you.” Amused even more, she rolled her eyes kissing Alex’s head repeatedly.

  Logan shuddered, unable to ignore the thick brown curls. Finishing off his beer in one long gulp he signaled for another, determined to calm down and focus on what lay ahead.

  “If he does, I’ll have to take you to the restroom and wipe you down.” Grinning, his eyes became hazy. He dragged her chair next to his, dropped a hand onto her bare thigh, caressed it briefly then inched his fingers higher.

  “Logan, stop!”

  He wasn’t listening. Alarmed, she shifted her body, carefully placing Alex in his stroller. As soon as she snapped her head around, Logan clasped her face in his hands making it impossible to avoid his eyes.

  “This is our last day together Krissy. Don’t you want to make it special?” He whispered, his breath tickling her ear. Returning one hand to her thigh, his fingers snuck under the cuff of her shorts, inching their way into her panties. Gasping, she forced herself out of the trance she was about to be sucked into and burst to her feet. The waiter yelped, leaping out of the way just in time to save the tray loaded with their meals from crashing to the floor. Wide-eyed, an embarrassed blush spread across her cheeks. She had to get out of there, flee to the restroom, hide out as long as possible. And leave Alex alone with Logan? Impossible. What if he takes out all of his frustration on him? There was no telling what he would do to him. Anyway, despite it all, she was starving to death.

  Logan burst out laughing, “Chill out sweetie. Why are you so damn jumpy?”

  Concentrating on her lips ripping into the burger, he gulped back his rising ardor. “He still doesn’t feed you? What the fuck Krissy? When are you gonna get tired of this bullshit and come home?”

  Kristen took a few more bites in silence. The hunger pains were disappearing, but what happened to the air? She couldn’t breathe, it had to be at least 150 degrees.

  I have to get out of here before I explode. “Logan I need you to stop! Please! If you don’t I’m leaving right now!”

  Stunned by the crazed look in her eyes, Logan recoiled, shrinking back. But the liquor had already flooded his senses, causing him to roar with uncontrollable laughter. Kristen glared at him until she couldn’t handle it anymore. With a loud huff, she crashed her fist on the table, bounced up, tossed her bag into the stroller and propelled it into restaurant.

  It was an all too familiar scenario: escape to the bathroom and shake in front of the mirror in a state of turmoil and confusion. The only difference this time, her innocent little dove was witnessing her detour to self-destruction. To make matters worse, she was torn between collapsing to the ground next to him to seek comfort in his love or drowning herself in the sink. Luckily they were alone. She started with a cold water flush. When that didn’t work, she unstrapped Alex, perched on the edge of the vanity and clung to him. What the hell am I going to do now? I can’t stay holed up in here with you all day.

  The image in the mirror only increased her frustration. It was as disastrous as she felt. After returning Alex to the stroller, she made a furious attempt to brush the tangles out of her messy hair, wipe away the smudges of mascara dotting her lower eyelids, and checked her phone. It was already 2:00 p.m. No calls from Jake all day. Not even one text. Her heart began to flutter. He had to be pissed.

  God damn you Logan. Why can’t you just leave me alone? Knowing the answer, she hastily adjusted her tank top and shorts, gripped the handles of the stroller, took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

  She never saw him standing slightly off to side. He had no time for games and reached out, grabbing her arm. Before she could scream, he had her pinned to him, his lips crushing hers. For one tantalizing moment, she was lost in space, spinning hopelessly. Then she crashed back to reality. After yanking her face from his, she shoved him with all the strength she could muster, secured the stroller and glared at him.

  “What is wrong with you Logan?” The words spurted out between desperate gulps of air.

  A dark shadow fell across his face, his eyes turning a deeper, misty shade of blue. “I need you Krissy.”

  Kristen’s mouth fell open in shock just as a couple of female customers headed towards her. Absentmindedly, she brought the stroller with her, stepping out of their way. Instantly, Logan was at her side, guiding her body back to his. They were hidden in the farthest corner of the long hallway. Her hands remained stuck on the stroller, but she didn’t fight him this time. Locked in his embrace, she gave in to his lips. When she couldn’t breathe anymore, she broke the kiss, opened her eyes and rested her cheek against his. The frantic rhythm of his heartbeat, melted into her.

  “Logan. I am not doing this again, I can’t”

  “Why not? The savage? You know you don’t love—

  “—Don’t call him that! You hear me? Ever!” She wrestled him, her eyes burning with anger, until he gave her a weak smile.

  Stunned, he studied her, taking in the trembling and reddened face. Then his heart sank. “You do…don’t you?” Despite himself, his arms went limp. Taking the opportunity, she jumped back, careful to stay out of the path of customers and employees scurrying along.

  She never intended to reveal the true extent of her feelings for Jake to Logan, especially when he inadvertently held her future freedom in his hands. Now it was too late. In a moment of passion, she had suddenly become aware of it herself.

  The baby began crying. Kristen comforted him the best she could without picking him up. An icy silence fell over them, neither of them comfortable enough to speak.

  As the flurry of activity around them intensified, Logan pulled himself together. Whisking his hair out of his eyes, he straightened his posture and studied her. His mind was clearing and the thoughts re-formulating in his head, centering on what they were going to do when she went home with him. Her revelation had little impact on him. Whatever passionate daydream she was lost in, would unravel soon enough. He had all the time in the world. But for now the sooner they were in bed the better. Until then, the only way to take the edge off was by drowning himself in something a lot harder than beer.

  “Let’s finish lunch.” Taking her hand gently, his eyes washed over her as he led her to the bar. “Are you sure you don’t want a beer?”

  When she declined, he quickly ordered a vodka and tonic.

  “Isn’t that a little strong after beer? How are you…”

  The sudden loud vibrations of Logan’s cell distracted him, blocking out the rest of her words. Without checking to see who it was, he muted it, shoved it back in his pocket and grabbed his drink.

  The waiter was clearing off the table when they returned. Seeing Logan already had a drink, he asked if they wanted dessert. Logan repressed a hearty chuckle, flashing a seductive glance at Kristen who was busy finishing up her salad. Since most of the burger ended up in the trash, she was thankful she had something left to satisfy her lingering hunger. Blushing from the thought, she cast her eyes down, determined not to attract Logan’s attention.

  “Want ice cream?” Logan spoke in
to her ear as if it were some kind of decadent secret.

  The sudden touch of his lips, caught her off guard. “Sure.” A dazzling smile lit up his face, destroying her confidence. Why did I agree to this? I need to get out of here and soon!

  He wasn’t letting up so easily. His lips still played along her cheek, his fingers stole through her hair. “Why did you really come to see me Krissy?”

  Strange how being the only sober one in the crowd, put a different perspective on things. She cringed at the glassiness of his eyes, the slur in his voice. It brought back the horrible memory of the evenings they spent with Jonny and Nick, the ones she endured, even managed to stay strong during, without any help from alcohol or drugs. Now, here she was just as clear headed and straight, but her courage was questionable. And it was so very difficult to come up with a believable answer to his question.

  “I don’t know Logan. I guess I’m really thankful you took the heat for me. And I’m still hoping we can be friends, after all this time.”

  Logan stopped cold, a deep frown creased his forehead. “Friends? You’ve gotta be kidding me! We went over this a million times. You know it’s impossible to just be friends, especially now after everything we’ve been through and everything I did for you.”

  The waiter set a large bowl of chocolate ice cream in front of them. Before he walked away, Logan gave him a drunken grin and ordered another Vodka.

  “I ordered strawberries and fudge on top, just like you like it, remember?”

  Fighting the tears building in her eyes, she glanced at Alex who thankfully, was still fast asleep. “I remember everything Logan, good and bad. You don’t have to remind me.”

  “Really? Sometimes I wonder if you forgot how I protected you from that crazy ass brother or yours. How I—”

  “—Almost killed him? Yeah I remember it like it was yesterday Logan.” She held her voice to a whisper. With a satisfied grin, he loosened up, dropping an arm around her shoulders.