by Karen Lynn
Growing apprehensive, she stiffened, puffing her lips out. Although she expected it, it still hurt. “Really, when?”
He picked it up right away, energized by her strong reaction. “The day I read your text dumping me.”
She covered her face.
He took a peek. “But then, I knew it was impossible.”
She tipped her head to the side, a sudden defensiveness in her voice “After you found out about the baby?”
Jake couldn't hold back his laughter. “No, baby, way before I knew about Alex.”
Delighted, she looked up.
“But don't think it made me happy. It made my life a living hell.” His muscles tightened.
“Until now?”
“Yeah, until now. No, until I saw you holding Alex for the first time. That day in the hospital.”
“It will all be better now, Jake, I promise you.” She blinked, brushing away the tears.
He squeezed his eyes shut, praying it was true. Anything less was unimaginable.
SATURDAY
Jake was riding high. Things were progressing nicely at work with one of his murals finished and a huge success. Thrilled by the outcome, Henry immediately referred him to several other club and restaurant owners in Miami, making Jake a hot commodity. Along with the increasing popularity came a welcome influx of cash and new sense of security. The renewed passion in their relationship, made it even stronger than ever. They hadn't argued once since his return and with Alex in the equation, it was pure magic.
There was no denying his happiness. Still, deep in his subconscious the nagging feeling that Kristen was hiding something about her last encounter with Logan, haunted him. It just didn't make sense that she would entirely write Logan off. As much as he desired it to be true, it didn't fit. He was starting to believe that even if she divorced Logan and they got married, that suspicion would always be there, digging a deeper hole in his soul every day.
Kristen felt more content and secure than ever before. For years she had resigned herself to the fact that total bliss was not in her DNA; there would always be that missing link and flourishing self-doubt. Jake’s sky-rocketing career and happiness thrilled her. Consumed by his need to take care of her and Alex, he did everything in his power to keep her satisfied and provide for them. She no longer stressed over how close he had been to hitting her that day, or if another outburst would prove deadly. Released from all fear, she convinced herself it had been a one-time regrettable mistake.
Their passion and undeniable love rocked her world. So why did that inexplicable emptiness still exist?
Jake finally had a day off and it couldn't have been more glorious weather. Itching to get out, Kristen convinced him it was the perfect time to take Alex for a walk along A1A.
“I'm starving! You wanna stop for a bite?” Jake secured Alex in his stroller and covered him with a fuzzy blue blanket.
Kristen pinched Jake’s arm, flashing a playful smile. “I am too, but I thought you were afraid to expose Alex to all those monstrous germs.”
“I guess it won't hurt just this once, smart ass!” He ruffled her hair, causing it to fall in messy waves over her face.
Not fazed by it, she gave him a triumphant smirk. “Whatever you say—you're the baby expert!” Giggling, she sped up to escape his slap on the butt.
Jake stopped by the second cafe they came to. “This looks good and it’s not too crowded.” He glanced at her before continuing to the patio area. Kristen couldn't move— it was the same cafe she and Alicia brought the baby to the day they saw Logan.
Does he know? The wild pounding of her heart stole the breath out of her lungs. She wanted to object, but he was already settling in with the baby at a far corner table. She caught up to them, then couldn’t bring herself to sit down.
“What's wrong, Kris? You look like you saw a ghost?”
Although he appeared concerned, she wasn't sure the choice had been coincidental. Shaking her head, she slumped into the seat and hid behind the menu. The waitress took the drink orders. This time she ordered a large beer.
Maybe once again I’m overreacting. There are dozens of restaurants on Miami Beach. What is the likelihood of us running into each other twice in the same cafe?
After downing half of the beer, her head finally lightened up, the tension diffusing. The baby dozed peacefully. Jake slid his chair closer to her, took her hand and placed it on his lap, his eyes lustful as he guided it along his thigh. Thrown off by his action, she let him take control, allowing the weightless relaxation to take her away.
Without warning, Jake's body clamped up. Alerted by his reaction, Kristen raised her eyes, following his line of vision. Relieved to see the waitress wheeling their lunch over, she sat back, watching. The second the plates hit the table Jake ripped his hand from hers, grabbed the burger, and chomped into it. She quickly scanned the area—it felt safe. After another gulp of beer, she picked up her own burger and began nibbling.
The wind picked up, causing a minor commotion on the street alongside the cafe as a few women screeched, holding onto their floppy beach hats. Her eyes wandered after them with mild curiosity. That's when she saw him entering. Her hands trembling, she pulled her eyes back to her plate.
Jake spied on her as he ate, wondering why she appeared so distracted. The deep flush spreading across her cheeks coupled with her drastic change in attitude, perplexed him. Wrinkling his brow, he twisted his body to get a better view of the street. Nothing unusual.
Logan perched himself against a patio wall a safe distance from the table. Nick sauntered up behind him, did a double take and within seconds stood smirking in front of them. Jake whipped around, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Kristen, so nice to see you again.”
“Get away from me, Nick.” Kristen leaned back, her eyes sizzling with rage and distress. Alex flashed in her mind; she turned verifying he was out of range.
Nick’s despicable smile widened. When his eyes settled on Jake, he took an awkward step backwards, seeking Logan. Taking an immediate dislike to him, Jake sized him up. Satisfied he could take him on in a heartbeat, he snickered, waiting for Kristen’s reaction. One wrong move, one signal from her that she couldn’t handle it, he vowed to knock him on his ass. After that everything was up for grabs.
Unable to resist, Kristen’s eyes zoomed over the tables to Logan.
Jake trailed her line of vision, taken aback when he spotted Logan lingering in the doorway to the restaurant. He snapped around to confront her.
“What the fuck is going on here Kristen. Who's this asshole?”
Kristen jumped up, fighting the impulse to run and hide.
“It's his part…” Her jaw dropped as Logan headed over. At a loss for what to do next, she stood gaping at Jake’s heaving chest.
“Hey Nick, can't you see she doesn't want any company. Right Krissy?” A silly smile spread across his flushed face, his slurred words and the stench of alcohol confirming her fear: they were already intoxicated. Holding her breath, she braced herself for an eruption.
Jake surged to his feet, his nostrils flaring. Aware that he was about to burst, she reached out in desperation. “Jake, please, it’s okay.”
His eyes darted from her to Alex, before returning all of his energy to Logan and Nick. Unable to hide his contempt, he glared stone-faced at both men.
“Everyone, please chill out! I was just being friendly. Kristen and I go way back.” Nick broke away from Logan, holding up his hands in a surrendering gesture and teetering closer. Too drunk to keep his balance, he stumbled forward, colliding into her.
Kristen let out a cry, shoving Nick into a waiter maneuvering a tray loaded with food along the narrow aisle. The tray sailed across the patio, crashing to the floor with Nick landing on his ass next to it. The patio exploded into a chaotic mess as startled patrons sprang out of the way.
Snapping out of momentary amazement, Jake rushed to Kristen, pulling her next to him. Logan scurried out of the way
, slumping next to the door while Nick struggled to his feet. Without looking back, he brushed himself off, raked his fingers through his hair and wobbled away. In an instant the café manager sprang into action, barking out orders to the staff to clean up the mess.
More disgusted than amused by the spectacle, Jake ventured back to his seat. While he downed the rest of his beer, his eyes continued challenging Logan. Kristen knelt next to Alex, too busy observing the manager charging toward Nick to notice Jake’s behavior. Nick’s face heated to a deep shade of red. When he snapped around pointing at her, the manager followed his finger. Jake gave Logan a vicious snarl, returning to Kristen’s side.
“Sorry about the commotion.” Logan attempted to charm the manager with a drunken grin. After shoving a wad of money into his hand and locking his fingers around it, his eyes narrowed. “It’s just a misunderstanding, we’re cool now.”
Pacified, the manager nodded and disappeared into the restaurant.
Logan gave them a triumphant shrug, the smirk on his face growing as he leaned into Kristen. “By the way Krissy, I got your little gift today. I'd thank you if it wasn't so fucked up, especially considering what I did for you.”
Stunned, she stared wide-eyed at him.
Jake gripped the chair, ready to pounce. Logan disregarded the escalating tension. Filled with renewed confidence, his fingers lightly brushed her arm.
Surpassing his breaking point, Jake amped up for trouble. Without a sound, he shoved Kristen aside, forcing himself next to Logan.
He leaned in, his face right next to Logan’s. “You better get the fuck outta my sight while you still can, unless you want me to break your neck this time.”
Logan took a long cautious step in reverse. A hint of pain showed in his eyes; he shrugged it off with a grin.
“No problem. Like I said, it's all a misunderstanding. Looks like she's all yours.” When he reached the door to the restaurant, he came to an abrupt halt, glancing over his shoulder. “By the way, in case you're interested, she's out of the coma.”
Gasping, Kristen called after him. “Logan wait!”
When he turned around to meet her gaze, Jake clutched her arm, preventing her from advancing. Her heart pounded furiously, fogging her brain. There was no time for pleading, but despite how much she wanted to break away, Jake’s strength was too much for her. And she was unwilling to put up a fight.
Logan's face darkened. Regardless of how miserable it made him admitting she belonged to Jake for the time being, it couldn't be denied. After giving her a sorrowful look, he opened the door to the restaurant.
Jake couldn't conceal his anguish or allow himself to back down. When he took a deep breath, he felt every muscle in Kristen’s body stiffen against his.
“Let him go.” Despite the sternness in his voice, his eyes were tender and pleading.
Kristen remained paralyzed. The baby's anxious gurgling broke the uncomfortable silence.
“Forget him, your son needs you. Why don't you take care of him?” Jake’s voice remained low and gentle, but it wasn't a request and she knew it. It felt like the air had been sucked out of her body, leaving her limp. Accepting her defeat, she walked trancelike to Alex.
Jake’s eyes stayed glued on her while she crouched next to the stroller to console Alex. Logan's words played in his subconscious, slowly becoming more distinct until they blocked her out.
They waited for the check. He reached for her, holding her face in his hands. He wanted to ask her about Nick and why she was so affected by his presence, but decided that could wait.
“What was that gift he was talking about?” he spoke into her ear without blinking.
After taking a deep breath, she gradually raised her eyes to his face. “The divorce.”
Jake sighed, the sound coming out a lot louder than he had intended. When he cradled her head to his chest, she closed her eyes fighting the suffocating sobs.
It finally sunk in: in a few months she would be free of Logan forever.
I should be celebrating—so why am I so numb? Shivering uncontrollably, she peeked at the entrance to the restaurant hoping to see him one more time. It was too late.
* * *
The night stretched out endless and gloomy before them. They lay next to each other in bed, but an impenetrable icy barrier separated them. It wasn't hard for Jake to see she was suffering. It was very hard to accept.
“Kristen, why are you getting the divorce?” He turned on his side, needing an immediate answer, yet dreading it.
She remained on her back staring at the ceiling. The room was quiet, except for his raspy breaths.
“I want it. I want to be with you, Jake.”
He took his time.
“I wish I could believe that but after I saw the way you looked at him—tell me the truth. Why?” He sat up, pulling her with him.
She forced herself to look in his eyes. “It is the truth. I don't love him anymore.”
“Really? Are you sure you're not doing it because it's what I want? Even a little?” His heart ached, but he was determined to get the truth out of her.
“Yes, I mean, I am doing it for you also, but it’s not the only reason.” An invisible force pulled her eyes from his.
“Look at me. Please.” When she obeyed, he held onto her face. “So how much is solely because I want it? I know you're afraid I'll leave you for good if you don't do it.”
With the mental and emotional exhaustion crippling, there was no strength left to fight him. She rolled her eyes, gaining the courage to gaze into his. “Forty percent.”
It seemed accurate, although she'd never really considered it.
“Hmm, maybe more like seventy percent?” Aware he was wearing her down, he didn’t blink.
“No, Jake—stop pushing me! No—it's mostly because I want to!” Anxious tension overpowered the exhaustion. Her voice rose sharply.
Satisfied, he released her and flopped back on the bed. She let out a sigh of relief, hugging her knees to her chest. There had to be more—she felt it. It didn’t take long.
“What about that asshole, Nick? What the hell was he talking about?” He remained in a relaxed position, while his temper flared.
The rising hostility burned in her eyes. “I hate his guts.”
“That's it? After that we go way back shit, you hate his guts is all you can come up with?” Now the increasing agitation forced his body upright.
She glanced at his clenching fists, taking in the constricted muscles in his arms. Closing her eyes, she tensed.
“What happened with him Kristen? Tell me, or I swear I'll rip Logan apart until he does!” No longer able to control his anger, his chest rose and fell sharply with each labored breath.
She couldn't avoid his face when his hands gripped her shoulders. And then there was his thundering heartbeat—it was deafening.
Why does it matter anymore? I am too worn out from all the lies and games.
“He forced me to do things...” Chilled by the immediate despair and anger that contorted Jake’s face, her voice faded out.
The bed shook violently as he bolted out of it. “What the hell do you mean made you do things? What things? When?”
Her trembling increased. This is my only chance.
“That day we met, when I got home. That's one reason I left.”
Don’t tell him about the roofie incident, Kristen. Stay strong.
He squeezed her hands. “What things, Kristen?”
“Sexual things,” she whispered, cramming her eyes shut.
This can’t be happening again. “You mean... he raped you?”
His voice stayed emotionless, but his loud rapid breaths were terrifying.
Kristen's eyes widened in fear. She nodded, unable to say the word. This has to be another nightmare. Any minute I’ll wake up and everything will be fine.
Recognizing that look, he dropped her hands. He didn't speak, but his expression said it all.
“Jake please, that was a long time
ago! I didn't want to tell you... I couldn't bear you getting locked up for this.” Unable to stand it anymore, she collapsed on the bed, incorrigible sobs wracking her body.
He stared at her, his face overcast with misery and saw nothing. In a black fog, the sound of her sobs echoed eerily in his ears. Fearing he was about to lose it, he took up a frantic pace back and forth.
Without warning, he sat next to her. It all came back to him now. It made perfect sense. “So that's how you got those bruises?”
Despite the softness in his voice, he had lost the battle to subdue his fury.
“Yes.” The word crept out between sobs.
I have to pull myself together before he storms out and goes after him. Struggling to control her convulsions, she sat up to touch his face.
“Jake please, promise me you'll forget about it. Please! I can live with what happened, but not with losing you!”
But he couldn't stop. “And Logan was there. He was part of it?” It was inconceivable and unacceptable. Then it dawned on him. “Was Nick involved in Ray's murder too?”
She couldn't breathe. Whatever words I choose will be the wrong ones! Swallowing repeatedly, she scrambled for a solution. But it was out of reach. She was mute.
It didn't make a difference. He knew the answer before he even asked the question. Slowly, taking her in his arms, he struggled to push the images of violence from his mind. Then his mother’s battered face entered his head and he knew it was futile. Rape was the one thing he would never be able to live with. He had to make them pay.
MONDAY
JAKE/KRISTEN
Things seemed to be going from bad to worse. Jake didn't mention Nick, but she couldn’t avoid the torment etched in his face every time she looked at him. His efforts to do the right thing, couldn’t fool her: the repressed need for revenge was destroying him. To make matters worse, Logan bombarded her with texts begging her to go his sentencing hearing. When Micky left a message regarding divorce papers that needed to be signed as soon as possible, she knew what had to be done. The easiest way would be meeting him for lunch after the hearing to avoid delay.