by Zoey Long
When I get to the far end of the pool, a shadow standing above me makes me come up for air.
“Can I talk to you?”
I see Madison is standing at the edge of the pool in street clothes. Her arms are folded tightly across her chest. She might as well be tapping her foot. She looks embittered.
“Sure, baby. What’s up with you? Are you okay?”
“Please just get out of there,” she says.
“Okay, okay, I’ll get out. One second.”
I swim over to the ladder and get out of the pool. I pick up a plush towel and dry off, wrapping it around my middle.
“So what’s up?” I ask her. “You look pissed.”
“Everyone knows,” Madison blurts out, throwing her hands in the air. She starts to pace.
I look around to make sure no one is listening. It’s a reflex, but our parents are both out of the house.
“Whoa, what? What are you talking about? Come here, sit.”
I take her hand and lead her to a chaise. I sit down, she doesn’t.
“Okay, then. You stand.” I smile.
“Noel is spreading rumors all over campus.”
I can’t say I’m surprised. He’s like a toddler having a temper tantrum.
“Are you serious? That little shit. How do you know?”
“Because!” she says.
I can’t help but find her adorable, even when she’s mad like this. It’s that infatuation thing clouding my brain. She begins again.
“My friend Stephanie, who you met on registration day—he befriended her, and now she knows. She said I was disgusting, Derrick. That we were both disgusting. That what we were doing was. You know what I mean. This is terrible.”
She’s frenzied, all over the place, not sure what to say next.
“Did you tell her it was true?” I ask.
“Of course I didn’t. I denied everything.”
I nod.
“Okay, good.” I smile. “So it’s fine.”
Madison looks at me, her eyes wide. She stands back and is speechless for a moment. I think she feels like I’m being dismissive. I just don’t care what people think. Then she begins again.
“How can you be so… Okay, look. Let me explain. I know you’re used to getting everything you want all the time. You’re the best fighter at your studio just because you felt like trying jiujitsu. You dominate your competition, no matter who they throw at you. It’s what first attracted me to you. That’s just true. And you’re a smartass. You piss me off and turn me on all at once. It honestly makes me crazy. In the good way. I know you have women throwing themselves at you all the time. You’re rich and you’re gorgeous; why wouldn’t they? And then you decided you wanted me. So now, you have me. But people aren’t going to accept this, Derrick, not even from you.”
That makes me stand up.
“Listen to me. Please. You’re not a commodity, Madison. I may have more luck than the average person, I’ll admit that, and I’m good at a lot of things, but I didn’t expect you. To fall for you like this. We wanted each other before you were my stepsister. Do you remember that? The fact that we’re stepsiblings is… unfortunate. And hot. Let’s be honest here and admit that it’s hot. And I love you.”
She looks at the ground and pulls away from me. Suddenly I’m worried. I don’t want to lose her.
“Derrick, I can’t. This is too much for me. We can’t come clean about this, but keeping it a secret is making me insane. Our parents are getting suspicious, people at school are starting to hear things, it’s going to get much worse if we keep going. And where can we go from here?”
“People will get over it, trust me. Let’s not tell our parents right now. That’s a whole other mess. Don’t shit where you eat, right? But eventually, we’ll tell them. And people will get over it. At school, we can keep denying it. And if it blows up, fine. I can take it. We can take it. I’ll protect you.”
“What can you do?” she yells.
I move toward her, put my arms around her. Gingerly at first, then she falls in to my arms. We kiss. A few tears are falling down her cheeks.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” she whispers.
“I know you don’t need it. Okay, then. Allow me to protect you.”
“We can protect each other,” she says, running her fingers through my wet hair, looking into my eyes, holding my attention like no one else ever has.
Part 4
Chapter 1: Madison
I need to rush. I’ve got my messenger bag slung around my chest, and I’m heading across campus in between classes. I had a studio class this morning, and when we were finished I didn’t have a chance to clean up that well. I just went to the sinks and washed off the paint on my hands and any splatters I saw on my forearms. It’s still warm out, late September, there’s a bit of a chill in the air, and I rushed out of my class so fast that my face is sweating. I’m breathing hard.
I pass by some familiar faces, other students in my program smiling at me, nodding. I haven’t been asked explicitly about sleeping with Derrick by anyone except Stephanie so far, but I’ve heard the rumor. At parties. I’ll be at a party talking to someone from one of my classes, they offer to get me a drink, then they start talking about Derrick.
“Is it true that your stepbrother is Derrick…Bourse?” an excitable blonde asked me last week, while sloppily sipping from a half-filled Solo cup. Her blue eyes were bright, her skin flushed from drinking. I said nothing at first. Wanted to see what she knew. Or thought she knew.
“I’m sorry, Madison. I wouldn’t ask like this right away, it’s just that people in class have been saying that you know him. That you live with him! I’m no gossip, but—”
“He’s my stepbrother, yes,” I admit.
The blonde looked at me wide-eyed, smiling.
“Man. Some people have all the luck in the world,” she says, looking off dreamily, playing with her hair, twirling it in a ringlet.
“Me?” I laugh.
“Oh, ha-ha, no! I mean him. To look like that and be that rich?”
“Well, he works at it. His body, I mean.”
I clear my throat.
“He certainly didn’t have to work for the other stuff,” she says.
“Oh, listen to me. I sound like a brat. No one chooses where they’re born. Tell me, what’s it like living with him? Do you get along? You seem to. I mean, when I see you guys around. Together. You’re together a lot.”
Derrick and I are very careful not to be “seen around together.” I’m pretty sure this girl has heard the other rumor. She starts hiccupping into her cup.
I’m still pushing hard across campus. By the time I get to our meeting place, my heart is pounding hard. I take a moment to catch my breath before turning the doorknob.
“I thought you’d never get here,” he says, taking me in his arms.
I’m so deep in a kiss with Derrick that my messenger bag is still slung around my chest.
“Hold… hold on,” I say, smiling, breaking away from his grasp.
I lift the strap of the bag up and over my head, we go back to kissing and I drop the bag next to me on the floor. It lands haphazardly next to a navy-blue bean bag chair. Derrick’s hands are roving all over me, up under my blouse, into my bra. I’m breathing heavily and bite back my moans. He starts fiddling with my skirt, sliding his fingers up and over my thighs. He kisses my neck hard, biting down before kissing it again.
“Mm, there we go. Remember, no marks,” I whisper.
“Like you can’t cover it up?” he responds, pressing his lips back on the same spot and sucking.
He’s such a smartass. But I love it.
I gasp softly, very careful not to make any noise. I’ve been waiting for this all morning. I close my eyes and let the cyclonic presence of him, of us together, take over.
“Is that… paint?” he asks, running his fingers over my neck.
“Probably. Don�
�t stop.”
He doesn’t. We’re still kissing deeply as he pushes me back to the long wooden table in the room. He lifts me up onto it and I spread my legs and wrap them around his waist. I run my hands under his grey cotton T-shirt, over his hard chest and abs. His scent enters my senses and I feel my whole body respond. There’s a heat and tingling between my legs. I know what’s coming. I start to ache for him. I pull his firm body into me. The Blu-ray player in this small media room is below my dangling feet, along with a stack of random DVDs. The desk chair is pushed aside. The room has white walls and no windows. Wooden door. No one uses these media rooms in the library anymore. There’s a row of these rooms at the back of the library, on the first floor. Behind the Greek and Roman classics. I thought it was apropos.
The table is just the right height for Derrick to fuck me on top of it. I stop him for a moment.
“Do you realize, you’re always bending me over things, lifting me onto things? We never just do it lying down anymore.”
“These are the relationship problems to have,” he says, laughing. He puts his hands under my skirt, taking off my underwear. He pulls down his shorts. I can see he’s hard.
“I…guess… that’s…true…”
He lifts my hips up and enters me with one smooth thrust. I gasp and then he covers my mouth with his palm just like when our mom and dad are at home. I have to admit, there’s something very sexy about doing it in a library. Derrick stops to brace his hands on my hips and pulls me forward, over and over, onto his cock. I bite my lip, sensation flooding the inside of me. I start to rub my clit while he’s fucking me, holding myself up with my other arm.
“That’s good…yes… just like that,” he whispers. I see he’s starting to sweat.
I need to lie down. I move back, lying flat on the table. Derrick holds my legs up, still thrusting into me. I keep rubbing myself, looking up at him.
“I want to taste you,” Derrick says. He pulls up his shorts, kneels down in front of the table and puts his mouth on me. I sit up to make it easier. He’s licking me in circles and I close my eyes. I move my hands down to hold his, our fingers intertwine. After a few moments, I run my fingers through his thick, wavy hair. I hold his head where I want it, but I don’t need to. He knows just what I like.
Just then, I hear the door click open.
“Holy. Fucking. Shit.”
Noel’s voice cuts through my consciousness like a blade. I open my eyes and see his sharp blue eyes looking back at me.
Derrick jumps up and turns around, covering me with his body.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” Derrick asks.
“Be quiet, Derrick. We are in a library,” Noel spits back.
Derrick shakes his head and looks like he’s about to punch Noel out cold.
Chapter 2: Derrick
I shove that little asshole out of the media room in one fell swoop. It’s early enough in the morning that not that many people are in the library at all, especially not this little obscure corner. I’m glad for that. I don’t want to make a huge scene. Too early for that shit. And I was having such a great time.
“I knew it,” he spits, whispering.
“I fucking knew it. You’re both disgusting. Wait until everyone hears about this.”
I get in Noel’s face.
“You keep your fucking mouth shut, or I’ll—”
Noel puts his arms up in surrender.
“You can’t do anything to me,” he says. “Now why don’t you go back to fucking your sister?” He runs out.
Of course he runs after a comment like that. I want to punch him so hard he passes out. I can’t do it now. Not now. Not here.
I turn around and see Madison still sitting up on the wooden table. Her dress is back down. She puts her head in her hands.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I say, moving to hug her.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she whispers into my neck, crying a bit.
“At least you’re succinct.”
She laughs with her face pressed into my shoulder. I can feel the wetness from her tears on my skin. At least she appreciates my joke.
When Madison finally looks back up at me, her eyes are red and wet with tears. She starts to laugh louder. Chuckling to herself and smiling. I admit, it’s not the response I expected.
“Why are you laughing like that?” I ask her.
“Because,” she says, wiping her eyes.
“I’ve been so worried about that happening for so long, and now that the worst thing imaginable has happened, in the worst way possible, it’s kind of useless to worry anymore.” She’s still chuckling to herself.
“At least my dick wasn’t out.”
“Hey, look at that. Another plus,” she says. “And your face was covering my lady bits.”
“Entirely covering your lady bits. It’s true. Although…” I begin.
“It might have been worse if we were home and our parents walked in. At least they still don’t know anything. We can still fuck all over the house.”
“For now,” she says.
“See, a plus,” I say.
I take both her hands.
“Where do you think that little pipsqueak ran off to, anyhow? He’s lucky I didn’t follow him outside and pound his head into the pavement with a comment like that. He can’t prove what he saw.”
“Maybe he went to go skywrite the word incest,” she scoffs.
“That’s not what this is. Not really,” I say to her.
“Derrick, no one will care if we’re really related. You’re my stepbrother. People still think it’s disgusting and wrong. It’s looked down upon. It’s still a scandal. I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” She starts laughing again, then takes a tissue out of her messenger bag and wipes her eyes, looking in a makeup mirror.
“I have paint all over me!” she says.
She begins wiping the little specks of paint left on her cheeks, her neck, one on her chest.
“I couldn’t wipe it all off. It’s dry. Besides, it means you were inspired.”
Madison licks her finger and wipes in circles at the spots of paint. They start to disappear in muddied swirls.
“Yep. So inspired I came to fuck your brains out the minute the class ended.” She snaps her makeup mirror closed.
“Ugh.” She shakes her head. “I guess it was only a matter of time. At least he didn’t make a scene,” she says.
“If he made any more of a scene than that I would have hurt him throwing him out of here. He’s really lucky I didn’t knock him out.”
“Not in the library,” she says. “And not at all. Please don’t go find him and beat the shit out of him. You’ll just get kicked out of your program. That’s not smart.”
She puts her mirror and tissues away in her bag. To be honest, going and finding Noel was exactly what I was planning to do the minute I left this room.
She takes my face in her hands. Looks at me with those large, open eyes, still wet with tears.
“Promise me you won’t go find him right now and kill him? I hate him too, and I don’t want him spreading rumors about us, believe me. I’m mortified. But if you get kicked out of school I’ll hardly ever see you. And it’ll make problems at home.”
She’s right. The only thing kicking Noel’s ass will do is make me feel better. A lot better.
“So… you’re fine with this? With him knowing?” I ask her.
“When did I say I was fine? No. I’m not fine with it. I just can’t do anything to change it. I have no idea what he’ll do now. But hiding it was harder than this. Or maybe I’m just in shock.”
Madison pecks me on the lips and slides off the table.
“It’s getting late,” she says. “We should get out of here. I guess those doors don’t lock from the outside after all.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
I try to make it better. “No one uses these rooms. Ever.”
God know
s if the rooms used to lock from the outside, I know they’re supposed to. The school never replaces anything. What was Noel doing coming into this room anyway? He wanted to watch a DVD? It’s not like he knew he’d find us in here. What a jerk.
“Yeah, and now neither will we. I’ll leave first,” she says to me.
Madison finger-combs her hair and straightens her dress.
“Should we still meet for lunch today? Or not?” She asks. “What do you think, should we lay low or what?”
No one is making me lay low. Not a chance.
“Come on, Madison. I don’t see a reason why we can’t still have lunch. He’s one guy. He won’t come to the cafe today if he knows what’s good for him. And if he does, we can leave. We are not going to let him decide where we go and don’t go. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes. I agree. You’re right. Screw him. I’ll see you later.”
She stretches up and kisses me on the cheek before turning to head out of the media room.
I watch her as she smoothly makes her way through the narrow stacks of books, the hem of her white dress floating breezily just below her knees, around her toned legs. I watch as she walks and follow the line of her legs up to her tight round ass. I can see the outline of her ass perfectly. Even though I just had her, I want her again. I wish I could push her up against that big stack right now and put my hands all over her. Inside of her. Damn, she’s hot. I feel my face get warm in response. This is not what I should be focused on right now. I flip the switch on the wall and turn out the light.
I check my watch and realize I’m late for a lecture. Damn it. Luckily, it’s only two blocks away. I seem to be having a lot of luck today.
I walk out of the library and see that it’s an absolutely perfect day out. Clear blue skies, not a cloud to be seen anywhere. Coeds are smiling at me as I pass them, looking up at me over the tops of their phones and notebooks. Some of them look barely old enough to be in high school. I feel old.
This lecture hall is in one of the oldest buildings on campus. Tall taupe-colored brick and gold signage. I make my way into the building and am reminded that all academic buildings smell the same. Like old wood and new paint. Books, of course. Old paper. I press the button next to the elevator door, and it glows yellow. I see that there’s a very attractive young woman standing next to me. She’s tall, with long dark hair. Probably dyed. She has a leather bracelet around her wrist, black skinny jeans, some kind of T-shirt. Large almond eyes. Don’t think I’ve ever seen her before. The elevator dings and the doors open. I let her step onto the elevator car before me, holding the doors.