He couldn’t detect anything in her voice—maybe it was the loud music. His body went hot, and his chest clenched. “This is Kyle. My boyfriend.”
Amanda held out a bejeweled hand, and Kyle shook it. “It’s nice to meet you, Amanda.”
“Nice to meet you. Thanks for the pop.” She set it on the bar, then turned back to Forrester.
He flinched when she reached up and cupped his face with her hands. Like he had no control over his body, he bent lower when she pulled until their faces were inches apart. To his shock, she pressed their foreheads together and smiled. “And it’s nice to finally meet you, sweetie.”
She kissed him right on the mouth, and before he even realized it, she yanked him into a fierce hug, her giant pregnant belly making it awkward, to say the least.
It took a moment for the meaning behind Amanda’s words to saturate his panicked brain. He let out a breathless laugh, his heart still hammering in his chest. Squeezing his smarting eyes shut, he hugged her tightly. “I never knew how to tell you guys.”
“I already knew.” Laughing, she patted his back, then pushed him away. “Eww, you’re all sweaty!”
“You knew?”
“Since we were kids, ya big dummy.”
He stared at her in shock. “How come you never said anything?”
She whacked his arm. “You forgetting I knew Dad?”
“Does Dino know?” he asked, heat flashing under his skin.
She scoffed. “He doesn’t even notice what color I paint my nails. You think he’d notice his brother was gay?”
He clutched her arms. “You can’t tell him. Not yet.”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “I haven’t told him all these years, why would I do it now? I always figured you’d get around to telling everybody eventually. But honestly, this was a lot more interesting.” She smiled at Kyle. “You must be Frankie’s good-looking friend Ma was thinking about setting up with Gina.”
Forrester tugged on Kyle’s hand. “Forget that. I don’t like to share.”
Lucas joined them, drawing up short when he saw Amanda. “Oh fuck!”
She laughed. “And here I thought you two were the couple.”
Kyle’s eyes were darting back and forth to all their faces, trying to keep up, so Forrester shifted so Kyle could see his lips better before he told Lucas, “She already knew.”
“How?” Lucas asked.
Amanda shrugged. “I figured it out when I saw him giving his buddy Nick Anderson a blowjob.”
Blustering, Forrester felt his face turn hot. “Wh-what?”
“What did you just say?” Kyle cried, eyes wide.
“Excuse me?” Lucas said. “Oh, do tell!”
Amanda laughed and leaned in to Kyle and Lucas like a typical gossip. “Get this. I was sneaking out of Dino’s bedroom at two in the morning one night. I didn’t want anyone to see me, so I had to cut behind the garage to get to my house around the block. When I rounded the corner, there he was.” She stood up straighter and gave a theatrical wave in Forrester’s direction. “On his knees, sucking Nick’s cock like there was no tomorrow.”
“For fuck’s sake, Amanda,” he said, not knowing if he should laugh or crawl under the bar and die. He remembered that night vividly, the risk and thrill of being out in the open. He’d almost said no, but Nick had called him and begged him to meet out back because he’d just gotten into another huge fight with his father.
Kyle laughed. “Oh my God. Do you have any other stories?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Forrester said firmly.
“I’ve been dying to tell someone that story forever.” Amanda laughed. “When I heard Tammy Sanderson say that some girls could take a cock all the way down their throat, I thought she made it up because she was such a tramp. Then I saw you and I was like, huh, I guess she was telling the truth.”
He grabbed her into a light headlock and kissed the top of her head, unable to believe they were actually having this conversation. “I think you better shut up while you still can.”
Laughing, she punched him in the side. “Get off, you’re all sweaty and gross!”
Forrester couldn’t believe how this had turned out. It was such a relief. Dare he hope the rest of la famiglia might react the same way?
He threw his arm around Amanda’s shoulder and smiled down at her. He placed his hand across the curve of her big belly. “Come dance with me, Preggo?”
She smiled up at him. “Sure, Frankie. Why not?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
KYLE RESISTED calling out, “Honey, I’m home!” when he came in the door. He’d worked till almost nine at the office so he wouldn’t have to go in this weekend.
Oddly, no snorting Jasper barreled around the corner to greet him. After placing his briefcase and keys on the buffet in the foyer, he crept around the corner, wondering why his house was so quiet. Maybe Forrester had taken Jasper for a walk.
Loosening his tie, he stopped in his tracks at the beautiful sight that greeted him.
Glasses on his nose and mouth agape, Forrester had fallen asleep in the living room recliner, a book on his knee and Jasper curled up in his lap. Impulsively, Kyle reached into his pocket and grabbed his iPhone, then took a quick snapshot of his little family.
His family.
That was what Forrester had become to him. His family, his world.
Not sharing the pic on Instagram—this moment was Kyle’s alone—he made the picture his phone’s screensaver instead.
Perfect.
Overcome with happiness, he sat on the couch and watched them sleep. The delicate way Forrester breathed through his mouth, lips coming together in soundless words. Muttering happy dreams, Kyle hoped. Jasper snorted loudly, twitching a little as he dreamed too.
How had he gotten so lucky?
Tomorrow they were going to his ball game because Forrester wanted Kyle to be a part of his life, his family. He loved Kyle. Their relationship wouldn’t be a secret much longer. The days of Forrester pretending to sleep at the bookstore, or using the backdoor at Reverends if it was daytime, of Kyle worrying about exposing their relationship, would soon be gone. He’d seen the way Forrester had teared up when Amanda said, “And it’s nice to finally meet you, sweetie.” It had almost been Kyle’s undoing. He couldn’t wait to hear what Nonna said, but he imagined she’d pretend to be surprised.
Kyle finally had everything he’d ever prayed for, sleeping in his living room.
He cleared his throat of the sudden grapefruit-sized lump filling it. He wiped at his face, not realizing he’d been crying.
Coming awake in a flash at the noise, Jasper’s head flew up, and he let out a deep braying howl of warning. Forrester jerked when Jasper jumped from his lap. “What the…?” He blinked rapidly, trying to wake up.
Kyle brushed at his eyes, not wanting to be exposed just then.
A smile lit up Forrester’s face when he spied him. “Hey, bello, when did you get home?”
“Just now,” he said, smiling as Forrester stood and stretched.
Yawning deeply, he shuffled over to Kyle, plopped down on the couch, and cuddled sleepily against him. “How was your day?”
“Same old same old. How did the appointment go?”
He scooted closer, caressing his chest with an amorous smile. “You look hot in this suit.”
Kyle stilled his wandering hand and touched his chin till their eyes met. “Later. Tell me what happened.”
He let out a weary sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Dr. Sullivan was nice, and he answered all the questions you made for me. Ma was not pleased that I was being so nosy, but I could tell she was impressed.”
Kyle sniffed, imagining the snide remarks she’d probably made.
“He put a port in her arm.”
“Already? Wow, he didn’t waste time.”
“Yeah, that’s what Ma said. Her lumpectomy came back bad, and he wants her to start chemo on Tuesday bright and early. I guess they want to shrink the tumor before they do s
urgery.”
“A mastectomy?”
Forrester nodded. “I thought Ma would get pissed, but she didn’t. She just said, ‘Looks like I’m getting a boob job.’”
“Really?”
He kissed Kyle’s cheek, forcing a smile. “I owe that one to you, I guess. Then she’ll have chemo and more radiation.”
“Anything else?”
Forrester looked tired, beaten. “I wrote everything on the paper you gave me. Good thing too, because Amanda had a ton of questions.”
“You told Amanda?”
“Apparently if Ma has radiation, Preggo can’t be around her because of the baby. I just got off the phone with her a little bit ago. Ma doesn’t know I told her.”
“Looks like Amanda’s the family secret-keeper.”
Forrester sniffed in disgust. “Ma wants to have some big dinner next weekend to tell everybody. Like it’s some kind of fucking party.”
“Your mom heals with food.”
This time he did smile. “You picked up on that one, eh?”
“What about you? How are you?”
He made a face and shrugged. “Fine.”
“Forrester,” he warned.
He scowled. “Hey, I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”
“Okay. Do you mind if I read the notes you took?”
Leaning back on the couch, he waved airily toward the kitchen. “Have at it. They’re on the counter.”
After a quick peck on Forrester’s cheek, he found the list beside a McDonald’s bag with a half-eaten Big Mac and untouched fries.
Not a good sign.
“You get enough to eat, babe?” Kyle called. Usually, the man ate his body weight in food.
“Yeah,” Forrester said. “Did you eat? There’s some McDonald’s I didn’t finish.”
Kyle suppressed a grimace and tossed the food in the trash. He’d just have a power bar.
While Kyle ate, he read over the notes his boyfriend had taken. He knew Forrester had no real clue how tough the upcoming months would be, not until he lived them. Kyle was glad he would be there and Forrester wouldn’t have to go through it alone. Being an only child with no cousins or extended family, Kyle had been so depressed during his mother’s illness. And then losing her?
Those had been the darkest days of his life, and even now, he knew he wasn’t over it.
Maybe he never would be.
Clearing his throat, he brushed at the tears in his eyes when Forrester joined him in the kitchen. Kyle took a steadying breath, trying to compose himself. He was tired and letting his emotions get the best of him. He needed to stay strong for Forrester. Kyle busied himself by refilling the vase with his lilies. They’d been so pretty yesterday, he’d just had to cut some for the house.
“C’mon, twerp, time to go night-night potty,” Forrester told the dog as he opened the door and let him out on the lead Kyle kept just outside the door. The sun had set, but that wonderful summer nighttime sky still clung to the light, illuminating Forrester’s tall frame in the patio door. He glanced at Kyle. “I think we need to get a fence. Then Jasper could play outside as long as he wanted and not have to be on a leash all the time. Plus, you could plant flowers all along it. Or maybe in the corners.”
Kyle set the vase down and smiled. “That would be nice.”
“I got a cousin who owns a landscape business. I think he does fencing. I’ll call him. But if he’s too expensive, we can just do it. Lots of digging, though.”
“Oh, yeah, sounds good.”
Were they at the point as a couple that they made decisions about their house together, their dog, so quickly? He liked to think so.
“Move in with me,” Kyle heard himself say.
“What?”
“Move in with me,” he said more firmly. “Like get your stuff out of storage and live here. With me.”
A slow smile crept across his face and he nodded. “Yeah, okay. But I’ll need to do it slowly, with Ma being sick.”
Kyle shook his head, feeling stupid. While he’d come home to his dream, his very own little family, Forrester had a real family to consider. “Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s probably too soon, I just….”
And then Forrester stood before him. “No, it’s not too soon. I love you. But—” He paused and ran a hand up and down Kyle’s arm. “—I’m gonna be with her for three hours Tuesday. Maybe I should just tell her?”
“Yeah?”
His face was stoic, his lips a grim line. “Maybe? I mean, I should, right? What if I lose her?”
At the crack in his voice, Kyle hugged him tightly. “You’re not gonna lose her. You have to remain positive. Believe me, it helps.”
Nodding, Forrester pulled back. Then Jasper was at the door, barking to come in for his bedtime biscuit. Forrester stepped away and let the dog in. He got a dog treat and made Jasper sit before he gave it to him. They both watched the dog snort and crunch, and then Forrester turned to him. “I’m ready for bed. How about you?”
“Yeah, I’ll just shower first.”
The perfect peace of quiet came over Kyle when he took his device out for the shower. His tension from the long workday eased under the heat of the water. Afterward, he went upstairs and found Forrester sitting in bed, his lower half under the covers. Wearing his glasses, he had the hand with the remote propped above his head. Forrester patted Jasper with his other hand, having no idea how sexy he looked, with his dark hair, tousled and wild, his bare torso so tan against the white sheets. Kyle’s cock twitched.
“Indians or the Tigers,” Forrester asked. “Which one do you wanna watch?”
“I don’t care.” Kyle crawled across the bed. “You pick. Just put it on CC for me, please.”
He placed his processor and batteries in the dish for the morning, then got cozy beside Forrester, scooting Jasper over to make room for himself. Jasper gave a disgruntled kick when Forrester quit petting him in favor of putting his arm around Kyle. After a few more kicks, he got up and moved to the end of the bed, throwing them an ASPCA-commercial look.
“Hey, sorry ’bout your luck, Jasp,” he told his dog. “He’s my boyfriend.”
Sleepy, Kyle read some of the sportscaster’s commentary but wasn’t really into it. Then Forrester raised the remote and the volume gauge on the screen lowered. He shifted Kyle until they were facing each other. “I can’t believe Ma kept this from us.”
So Forrester did want to talk after all.
Feeling like this would be easier if he could hear, Kyle retrieved his processor, popped the batteries back in, and slid it around his ear. The stillness vanished, replaced with the low rattle of the TV and Jasper’s snores. Kyle took the remote and hit Mute—the day had been too long for the additional noise. Kyle snuggled under Forrester’s arm, resting his palm just above Forrester’s underwear. The muscular body against his felt so warm and comforting. But he didn’t say anything. He caressed Forrester’s stomach, playing with the hair and waiting.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if she dies.” His voice cracked.
Kyle slid up closer and hugged him.
Forrester buried his face in Kyle’s damp hair and let out a shuddering breath. “I-I can’t lose her, Kyle. I can’t.”
Making soft shushing sounds, Kyle held him. “You have to stay positive, babe.”
“I’m trying, but I’m scared that I’ll lose her. And I’m scared to tell her about me. About us.”
“Do you think she knows?” He lazily dragged the arch of his foot up Forrester’s calf, the hairs tickling his sole. “They say parents… and even grandparents, usually know, whether or not they want to admit it.”
“Nah, if Ma suspected, she would’ve blurted out that question a long time ago. Or she’d try to set me up with some random guy at the grocery store. My family isn’t known for their discretion.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” he teased. “Do you think your nonna knows?”
“No way.” Forrester rolled out of his embrace and laid his head on the pillow. “I’
m a selfish shit, worrying about myself when Ma’s got cancer. I should be worried about her, and I am, but I keep thinking that if she dies, then I can never come out.”
Kyle propped up on an elbow to watch Forrester stare at the ceiling. “Why do you say that?”
“My mother talks without thinking, but she would never turn her back on me.” The conviction in his expression was palpable. “But what if my brothers act like my dad? Then what?”
“Ignorance doesn’t mean they’ll turn their backs on you. Your family loves you. It might be strange for them adjusting to you being a gay man, but they won’t hate you.” Kyle lay down to share the same pillow, and Forrester rolled onto his side until they were facing each other.
“How do you know?” He sounded like a child.
“Look how Amanda took it.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, but that’s Amanda. She’s family, but she’s not like the rest of them. She doesn’t have a racist or homophobic bone in her body. She’s too good.”
Kyle brushed his hand across Forrester’s cheek. “Every time you talk to your family, you all say ‘I love you,’ and I don’t believe those are empty words. The family I’ve met would never abandon you.”
His lower lip trembled. “I hope you’re right.”
“Nonna will give them all her evil eye if they don’t.”
Forrester chuckled. “Yeah, maybe.”
“No maybes about it,” Kyle insisted.
He inhaled, then let out a deep exhale. “I feel like I should just tell Ma now. You know, before she gets too sick. But Jesus, just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.”
Kyle caressed Forrester’s belly in a circle. “You’re the only one who can decide when the time is right. I know I asked you to move in, but if it’s too complicated, we can wait.”
“That’s just it. I’m tired of waiting,” he said, his eyes wide and pleading. “You and Jasper? You’re my family too. But I feel like I can’t have this family without risking losing my other family. Is it too much to ask to have both? Why can’t I get to have what my brothers have? They bring home girlfriends, and no one cares. I just wanna be all ‘Hey, guys, this is my boyfriend, Kyle,’ and have them be as happy as they were when Dino proposed to Amanda, and Tony asked Missy. How come I can’t have that?”
La Famiglia Page 24