“Yeah, the deck was here before Kyle bought the house,” Forrester managed. “It is nice. He did all the flowers.” He pointed at the new bed with the flagstone path. “Might add a water feature next summer.”
“Huh.” Dino joined him at the railing. A small garden shed was in the far-right corner, and shrubs with rocks had been landscaped along the white fence. It was sparse but pretty, although Forrester knew, one day those shrubs would be surrounded by a whole lot more flowers. A maple tree grew in the center, creating some shade, a low-hanging branch perfect one day for a child’s tire swing.
“You should cut that down.” Dino pointed at the pine tree growing closer to the deck, dropping the pine cones. “It’s killing the grass.”
“Yeah, I was gonna call Mike.”
“He won’t cut you a price, ya know? We could just do it.”
“Maybe.” Dino wanted to help him cut down a tree? Was that his idea of a truce?
They stood side by side, three feet apart, Forrester with his arms crossed, and Dino mirroring the stance.
“I got a flyer from the Ford Club,” Dino said. “That car show in Gilead is next Sunday. I was thinking we should bring the Shelby out.”
He nodded, almost feeling like things were normal. “We could park it in front of the bookstore.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Okay.”
“So why’d you run off?”
“You called me Forrester,” he managed. “You’ve never done that before.”
“Isn’t that what you’re always complaining about?” Dino sounded confused. “You hate it when we call you Frankie.”
He gave his brother an openmouthed stare. “But you never cared that I didn’t like it. Why the change? Why now?”
“Dammit.” Dino uncrossed his arms, then crossed them again. “I don’t even know what to say without pissing you off. I just asked you about the bookstore, and you storm off.”
“I’m not pissed off.” But he could be any second. “And I didn’t storm off. I had to let Jasper out.”
“The dog’s still in the house.” Dino pointed to the door, where the bug-eyed pooch in question stared at them through the glass.
Forrester cursed and hurried to open the door. “Sorry, buddy.”
Like a rocket, Jasper shot off into the grass, braying at some imagined squirrel or just announcing his presence to his little kingdom.
Dino studied Forrester from across the deck, face consternated. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know what to call you, because I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
He drew up short. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Incredulous, Dino dropped his arms to the side. “You serious? One minute I’m playing pool with my brother Frankie. Then he starts talking crazy shit at me. And then he doesn’t talk to me anymore. In one night, Frankie’s gone and there’s this new guy in town, Forrester. I don’t know anything about him, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. So I’m sorry if I don’t know what to call you.”
Not wanting to fight with his brother, he was quiet for a moment as he absorbed those words. He wanted to be angry at Dino’s frustration, but hadn’t he had similar thoughts, questions about his two different selves?
“I’m the same person I always was,” he finally said.
Dino let out a disbelieving laugh. “Oh no, you are not.”
“What’s so different about me?”
His brother gestured around at the house, the deck, the flowers, and the dog. “Everything.”
“The only thing different is that I have someone who loves me. You have Amanda and Tony has Missy. That didn’t make you different people.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Why? Because Kyle is deaf?”
His face scrunched up. “I didn’t say that.”
“I see,” he said sarcastically. “It’s because Kyle’s a man.”
“Exactly.”
They didn’t say anything, but just stared, sizing each other up, maybe?
Weary, Forrester stepped down to the patio and sat on the chaise, raising his knees and setting his bare feet on the cushions.
To his surprise, Dino followed and took the chair across from him.
Was it a good sign he hadn’t gone back into the house?
Eventually, with a thick voice, Forrester said, “When you laughed at me….” He pinched the bridge of his nose, holding back the pain. “That hurt worse than anything else. I didn’t even really care that Joey told everybody or Tony made a bet. Not really. But you laughing, that really hurt me.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Dino managed. “It’s just weird. You being with a dude and all.”
Forrester didn’t hide the anguish in his face. “Being gay isn’t about who I sleep with. It’s who I am. Who I’ve always been. And I’m the same person I was before I fell in love with Kyle.” He sat back on the chaise, pulling his knees closer to his chest. He propped his elbow on them and chewed his thumbnail, unable to look at Dino anymore. “I’ve always wanted what you and Amanda have. Now I finally have that, with Kyle. I love him. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“Forrester… I mean, Frankie—dammit!” Dino slammed his fist into his hand. “What the hell do you want me to call you?”
He quit chewing on his nail long enough to glance at his brother. Then he dropped his hands to his sides. “Dammit, just call me Frankie, okay?”
That wasn’t what he’d expected himself to say. He’d always hated it, but now it was like some sort of desperate attachment to his family. Like if he wasn’t Frankie, he wasn’t part of la famiglia anymore.
And he couldn’t handle that.
Not even a little.
“Fine, Frankie. I don’t like any of this,” Dino declared, looking at his feet and shaking his head. “I don’t like that my stomach’s in knots every time I see you. The whole time I drove out here I thought I was gonna throw up.”
“How do you think I felt when you just surprised me?”
“I didn’t think it was a surprise. Your boyfriend and that scheming woman in there with my baby must’ve planned it all. I thought you knew we were coming over. I thought you all were gonna go off and yell at me or something.”
“Well, I didn’t know.”
Kyle must’ve assumed Forrester would’ve gone to the bookstore if he’d known Dino was coming over.
He probably would have.
Dino gave him a pleading look. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings by laughing, but you shocked me. You gotta see this from my point of view. I always pictured that one day you’d finally talk Holly into marrying you and we’d go on these great couple vacations or take our kids to Disney or something. This changes everything.”
“We can still do all of that.”
Dino waved his hands. “Yeah, maybe, but everything’s different now, and I don’t know if it’s different good or different bad. But it’s just different, and you know it. And you never gave me a chance to get used to any of this. You just told me Kyle was your boyfriend, then you started yelling at me and ran off. I’m just shocked. I mean, you had girlfriends.”
“And I’ve had boyfriends. I just didn’t let any of you guys know about them.”
“How come you never told me?”
“Do you know how many times over the years I’ve tried and never had the courage?”
“Why not?”
“Because I thought you’d be like Dad,” he said, throat tight.
They sat in silence, and Forrester brushed his forearm across his cheek, his hands trembling. Unable to stop the quivering in his lip, he refused to look at his brother for fear he’d lose it and start crying.
“And you think I am just like him,” Dino said after a long while.
The genuine regret in his tone eased the bands tightening around Forrester’s chest, but he said nothing, didn’t look up, only nodding in answer.
“I didn’t mean to be,” Dino said sincerely. “What do we do now?”
&nbs
p; “I don’t know.” He glanced up. “What do you wanna do?”
“More like, what do you want from me? How do you want me to act? Just tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
He sounded so much like Ma, it forced a small laugh out of Forrester. “Stop acting like I’m some kind of freak, for starters.”
“You can’t exactly accuse me of that when we haven’t even been around each other for months.”
“Exactly, months,” Forrester said. “You didn’t even invite me to see the baby.”
“Because I didn’t think you’d come. Would you have?”
“Probably not.”
“See, that’s your attitude there, not me,” Dino declared.
Forrester sighed, not wanting to argue anymore.
Somewhere off in the distance a dog barked, so Jasper barked and ran around the yard in answer. They watched him circle the perimeter several times, barking nonstop.
Finally, Kyle came to the door. “You just gonna let him bark and annoy the neighbors like that?”
Forrester shrugged. “He’s not bothering anybody. He’s just having fun.”
“Jasper,” Kyle scolded, and his wild little pooch barked a couple more times, then ran back to the deck. “Be quiet, you.”
Jasper jumped on the chaise, and Forrester smiled at him. “Is Daddy being mean to you?” he asked in baby talk. Jasper snorted, did a circle, then lay down.
“Traitor,” Kyle said to his dog. Hands on his hips, he looked back and forth between them. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Dino said at the same time Forrester did.
“They beating each other up?” Amanda asked from the doorway.
“No, we ain’t fighting,” Dino groused.
“Well, did you pull your heads out of your asses?” She shut the door behind her.
“Where’s my baby?” Dino wanted to know.
“She’s sleeping in her carrier,” Amanda said, beer in hand.
“Should you be drinking that?” Forrester asked. “Aren’t you breastfeeding?”
She handed the bottle to Dino. “Yes, and I haven’t had alcohol in so long, I’d probably be driving the porcelain bus if I drank a beer.”
Kyle chuckled and looked at Forrester. “Hon, you want a drink?”
“I could have something.”
Nodding, Kyle returned to the house.
Dino pulled his wife to sit on his lap. She went easy and natural, kissing his cheek. She looked around. “This patio is awesome, Frankie. And all these plants and flowers. They’re just gorgeous.”
But Forrester only stared at his brother, wife in his lap like it was no big deal. Didn’t he realize that was what Forrester wanted? The one thing he’d been denied by society and his family. To be able to love and show affection without fear?
Kyle returned with a rocks glass of something green and a small bar-top ice bucket with beer and Diet Coke inside. He handed Forrester the appletini.
“Grazie, bello,” he said easily, ignoring his brother’s head snapping up at the endearment.
Kyle placed the cooler on the small end table beside Dino.
“Oh, I could kill for a Diet Coke,” Amanda said, taking a can and popping it open.
“I figured.” Kyle smiled as she took a big swig. “You guys hungry? We have some salmon we could throw on the grill. And potato salad from Millie’s.
“I could eat,” Dino said. Then he cleared his throat and nodded at Kyle. “Sure, that would be nice, Kyle.”
Kyle smiled, and Forrester wondered if he was trying to take a page out of Ma’s book. Feeding people like it was a Band-Aid.
Grabbing a beer, Kyle joined Forrester. He scooted Jasper over and sat on the end of the chaise. Forrester shifted, almost opening his legs for Kyle to slip in between and lean against him like they usually did.
But he couldn’t do that.
They weren’t Amanda and Dino.
They were two men.
Dino could kiss Amanda and pull her into his lap, so why couldn’t Forrester at least touch Kyle?
Seized with a burst of attitude, pride, boldness, or whatever emotion struck him, he scooped up Jasper. Then Forrester shifted his long legs and stretched them over Kyle’s lap. Kyle flinched, adjusted his seat closer, and gave him a strange look. Forrester mouthed, “Please,” and Kyle nodded and rested his arm on Forrester’s knees. Jasper settled easily into Forrester’s lap, because this was his norm.
Forrester took a sip of his cocktail. He would not act weird or treat Kyle different in their damn house.
If Dino didn’t like it, he could go home.
Kyle reached down to give Jasper a scratch behind his ear. The dog kicked happily.
“Watch it, Jasp,” Forrester said, shifting him. “That’s my nuts you’re kicking.”
Kyle laughed.
At the sight of those love-filled hazel eyes, his inviting dimpled smile, Forrester’s tension faded. Kyle was here, he loved him, and everything would be okay.
“Aren’t you guys cute,” Amanda said. She elbowed Dino, beaming at them. “Aren’t they cute, Dino?”
Forrester raised his brows and the words Yeah, aren’t we cute almost came out of his mouth, but Kyle spoke up first. “Amanda, let’s just chill. No need to make it awkward.”
“I wasn’t making anything awkward,” she cried. “I just thought you guys looked cute.”
Kyle gave her a smirk. “Yes, you were making it awkward. You’re trying to force it. It’s a nice day, no need to manipulate it.”
Forrester and Dino both chuckled.
“Somebody’s got your number,” Forrester said.
“My wife, the meddler. How come you didn’t tell Frankie we were coming over?”
“Fine, I was meddling,” she said. “But it was Kyle’s idea not to tell him. I just want everybody to get along. I want us to be a family again. Is that so much to ask?”
Dino gave his wife a sad, awkward smile. “No, it isn’t.” He glanced at Forrester and Kyle, brown eyes sincere. “I want that too.”
Saying nothing, Forrester looked back at him. His brother had come today and apologized. They’d both had a chance to say their piece.
It was a start, right?
Kyle poked him in the leg, nodding his head in a silent prompt.
“Yeah,” Forrester managed. “I want that too.”
Epilogue
Christmas Morning
“KYLE, I need your help with something,” Mrs. Giordano whispered.
Itching with nervous excitement, Kyle got up from the arm of the couch, offering Forrester a reassuring smile to his questioning look. “I’ll be right back, babe.”
Distracted by watching Jasper and the children play with their new toys, Forrester nodded. Kyle gave the family room’s explosion of wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, garish Christmas decorations, and loud chatter one more glance before he hastened after Mrs. Giordano into the kitchen. Spiked eggnog, mimosas, and Bloody Marys completed a plethora of breakfast items spread out on the kitchen island.
This had been his best Christmas since… well? Probably since he had both of his parents or maybe when he and Mom had first moved back in with Grandma. He felt like he was in a Christmas movie—all the happy children tearing open gifts, the oohs and aahs, and being a part of the adult gift exchange.
“You ready?” he asked once they were alone.
She shrugged as she withdrew five manila envelopes from an old cookie jar. Some of the color had returned to her cheeks, though he’d never known her healthy, only sick. He was happy her chemotherapy had been successful, as was her mastectomy. She’d received her last radiation treatment two weeks ago, and now she was on the way to healing, getting back to the more vibrant woman he really wanted to get to know better.
A pink turban complemented her pale blue sweater with snowflakes. She smiled at him and patted the envelopes. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to surprise my boys like this. I just wish their dad could be here for it.”
; Kyle smiled, though in the back of his mind he knew if Forrester’s dad had been here, then Kyle wouldn’t be. He kept that bittersweet reality to himself.
“Do you think they’re going to be upset?” Not only had Kyle gone behind Forrester’s back but his brothers’ too. He hoped this surprise wouldn’t knock him down a few pegs.
“Probably.”
He let out a breathy chuckle. “That’s not very helpful, Mrs. Giordano.”
She gave him a pat on the cheek. “You’ve been around enough that you could call me Ma if you like.”
For a moment, Kyle thought he might cry. The whole Giordano clan had made him feel welcome, each of them learning to look at him when they spoke or filling him in on the things he missed. Lately even Dino had put in effort, but to have Forrester’s mother want him to call her Ma? He’d never been so touched.
His face contorted at the sudden swell of emotion, but a hot feeling of longing and hesitation held him back. “Thank you, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to call someone else that.”
Sympathy colored her expression and softened her brown eyes. “Yeah, I suppose not. It can’t be easy losing everyone in your family.” She patted his cheek again, her hand lingering. “How about Maria?”
“Yeah, I like that.”
“What’s going on in here?” Tony whispered, his eyes narrowed.
Clearing his throat, Kyle took a step back and smiled. “Nothing.”
“Look who’s so nosy,” Maria said.
Tony smirked and crossed his arms. “You two have been whispering and sneaking around all morning. What you got up your sleeves?”
With a surprising amount of strength for someone who’d just battled cancer and kicked its ass, Maria gave her big son a push. “Get yourself back into the living room. I have a surprise.”
Tony raised his brows at Kyle.
Kyle smiled but inside his stomach did a flip-flop. I really hope everyone is okay with this… especially Forrester.
The racket of voices and laughter washed away the emptiness inside him when he returned to the living room. His family might be gone, but he hoped to be building another.
La Famiglia Page 33