He didn’t answer at first.
“Trust me, I know perfectly well that I’m not off the hook. More than you’ll ever know.”
The curious response left her with a bad taste in her mouth as the ride finally came to a stop. As much as she hated it, she had also loved it. Being held by Cull made everything better, even heights.
When he told her they should leave, she reluctantly agreed. She didn’t want the evening to end but knew there was a chance the night would go on once they reached the ranch. A girl could hope.
As they drove toward home, the windows were down and Monica removed her hat, placing it on the seat between them. Her hair fell to her shoulders and the wind caught the tresses. She couldn’t see them, but she could smell the wildflowers growing in the fields. She inhaled the sweet, rich scent and it mingled with his masculinity.
“I’m glad to see my crazy family hasn’t run you off,” Cull said, drawing her attention to his profile. “They can be a little much at times.”
She laughed. “Run me off? Are you serious? They make me want to stay here forever.” Realizing what she said and the conjecture in the words, she cleared her throat. “I mean, I won’t, but that’s how kind they all are. You’re lucky.”
“You don’t think you were just as lucky?” He had taken off his hat somewhere between the rodeo and now, and his thick hair was wavy. Her fingers ached to thread her fingers through the mass.
“I’d venture to say I don’t have anyone. Wouldn’t they have found me already?”
There was a long hesitation. “I don’t know.” He let out a harsh breath. “Right now, I’m just glad you’re safe.”
“Of course.” Were they back to this again? The wall was slowly coming back up. “So where have you been for the last few days?”
“In Cheyenne.”
“Am I overstepping boundaries if I ask why?”
“I’ve been investigating your case.”
She threaded her fingers through her own hair. “Isn’t there a detective that is on the case already?”
“Yes, but he didn’t get shot at. I did. That makes a helluva difference. I want to find out who was behind those bullets. And I will.”
The determination in his voice told her he meant every word. “So, have you learned anything?”
“Not enough.”
“I’m getting the feeling you don’t want to talk about the case.”
“No, I don’t, because there’s nothing I can tell you right now.”
“I can leave, Cull. I’m not stuck here.”
“You’re safer with me.”
“Yeah, the human water faucet. You go from hot to cold as quickly as a turn of the knob,” she grumbled.
****
The second he pulled up into the driveway in front of the garage, she was out of the truck. The rain was pouring down and he could barely see her as she raced for the stairs.
Damn. He should let her go.
But something in him wouldn’t let that happen.
He jumped out of the driver’s side and ran after her, his boots pounding the pavement and sloshing through puddles. By the time she made it to the door he’d caught up to her and he gently turned her around. “What are you wanting from me?”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she was soaked. “I’m not asking anything from you. I asked a question and you simply told me you don’t have anything to say. I’m just here waiting for the loose threads inside my mind to start connecting.”
He laid his hand on her shoulder and an electric tingle shot up his arm, but she didn’t pull away, only stared up at him. He couldn’t control himself. He lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her with an energy of a starving man. Her lips were soft and she tasted like chocolate chip cookie dough and something else…something primal and irresistible. He pushed his tongue past her lips, tasting her, exploring her. Her arms came up around his neck and she pressed her body against his, soft meeting hard. He could feel her heart racing or was that his own.
Breaking the kiss, he inhaled sharply, letting the breath out with a hiss.
Taking the key from her hand, he unlocked the door and pushed it open, walking her backward until they were inside. They were dripping wet and she was shivering.
He placed his thumb on her chin, lifting it so her gaze met his. “You’re cold. You should go take a shower.”
“But…I thought…”
“I-I can’t,” he whispered.
She dropped her arms to her sides. “Okay. You can’t. I got it.”
“Monica—”
“No, don’t. I don’t need some excuse. I’m going to take a shower.”
His heart dropped into his boots. He could only stand there paralyzed by his concerns. He should have told her the truth, but if he did, would she disappear?
What was he truly afraid of?
The truth stared him in the face. He was falling for her and he knew once he told her the facts things would change.
“Go take your shower. I’m staying,” he commanded.
Her hip tilted. “I don’t need you to stay.”
“We’re going to talk when you’re finished.”
She shrugged, turned and headed for the bathroom.
Cull knew exactly what he needed. He searched the cabinets until he came to the bottle of whiskey he had hidden there, uncapped it and poured himself a shot glass full. He kicked it back in one gulp and it burned all the way into his stomach, but at least he no longer felt the chill of turning Monica away.
Fifteen minutes later, he was sitting at the table when she stepped out of the bathroom. He blew out a long breath and swiped a hand down his face. She was wearing a short, white nightgown and her wet hair hung around her shoulders and down the front. He believed this wasn’t intentional, but she turned him into a blubbering idiot.
“You’re still here?” she asked in confusion.
“Yes, I told you I was staying,” he said in a hoarse tone. “Did you have a good shower?
She frowned. “No. Just like all of the other hours of the day. I spend it wondering who I am—but all the thinking never gets me anywhere. I have moments of clarity when I think I remember something, then I hit a brick wall. I can’t begin to explain how this all feels, Cull.”
His chest tightened. “I get it, but give it some time.”
“It’s been forever already.”
“It’s been a little over a week.”
She brushed by him, the scent of soap and coconut shampoo intoxicating his senses. He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing her in, feeling an overwhelming desire in his body, praying that he wouldn’t give in to the boiling need. He could lose himself in her smell, her touch, her…Just her. Why? How? Was this some sick joke on fate’s part? Wrap him up in her web only for him to face heartbreak when she got her memory back. He’d kept a steel wall up all these years, protecting himself, and now those inner walls were crumbling.
How long could he keep her there?
“One minute I think you want me here and the next I think you regret asking me to come.”
His throat constricted. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
She turned and smiled. “I’ve made it obvious how I feel. I wouldn’t consider that you taking advantage of me.” She placed a small glass in front of him. “Care to share some of that liquid therapy?”
“Are you sure?”
She laughed. “Yeah, more than sure.”
He poured her some and watched her bring the glass to her lips and take a sip. She squinted. “Holy crap. I didn’t remember that taste.”
Cull laughed and poured himself another. “Have a seat. Take a load off.”
“Fine.” She took another sip and this time she didn’t react so strongly.
Once they were sitting, he rubbed his whiskered jaw. “This isn’t so clear-cut and I do owe you an explanation. I want you so damn much that I’m afraid every time I’m around you, I’m going to blow my top. I can’t allow these emotions to get out of hand, n
ot when I feel like...” His heart pounded. Three shot glasses later and he was feeling less tense but he still couldn’t figure out what to say.
Several seconds passed as well as many different expressions. She reached out and cupped his cheek, her eyes burrowing into him. “I might not have my memory, but I am an adult and I can make decisions for myself. You are the only one I truly know right now. I realize you want to protect me, but I feel as if you’re keeping something from me. You get close and then it strikes you. I believe it has something to do with why you were at the apartment.”
He blew out a frustrated sigh. “You just make me nervous.”
“You? Nervous? I find that hard to believe.” Her smile returned.
“I am a gentleman. I want to do the right thing.”
“You have been a gentleman, but sometimes a woman needs a little dirty in her life.” She laughed and downed her whiskey. She reached for the bottle and poured herself another.
His cock jerked. Hell, he’d loved to give her dirty, but an image of Yates flashed through Cull’s mind. What if she got her memory back and she realized she was in love with the man? What if she did play a role in his death? No, Cull didn’t believe it. “We all need a little dirty at times.”
“Where’s the but?”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, Cull. It’s you, me and a bottle of whiskey. Let’s be honest.”
“In time, I’ll tell you everything.” He shifted, remembering that he was still damp. “I better get out of these clothes before I turn into a prune.” He stood and started for the door, ready to get out before he did or said something stupid. Here lately he’d been disproving the fact that he’d graduated top of his class and aced every test he ever took. He realized this was what his brothers were taking about. Caring for a woman could do crazy things to a man’s brain…and his heart.
At the door he turned and looked at her over his shoulder. “Take it easy on the bottle, baby. I have a feeling you haven’t drank in a while.”
“Don’t worry about me, Cull.”
“Sure.” He took in her sweet, smooth complexion and her damp wavy hair. He wasn’t sure how old she was, but she wasn’t as young as he’d first thought. She was more beautiful than imaginable, and each day he looked forward to seeing her. His gaze naturally fell to the neckline of her shirt that had fallen over one shoulder. The rise and fall of her breasts had become quick. His hand ached to touch her, hold her, be near her. He knew she was as soft as he’d fantasized she would be. The smell of her was so strong in the air that it wrapped him in a lustful cloud. Could he just hold her and not take things to the next level?
Her eyes widened slightly as he stared into the green pools. He clenched his hands into fists, his chest was tight and his hips ached. A rosy flush settled on her flawless cheeks, stirring up an excitement in his belly. The devil was on one shoulder encouraging him to do what he’d wanted from almost the beginning.
She moistened her lips as if she begged to be kissed…made love to. Did she realize what she did to him? Her nipples pressed the fabric and he rolled his tongue over his lips, wanting to suckle every part of her.
He had to get the hell out of there. Fast.
But what would just one more kiss do?
Just. One.
It was a terrible idea. A shitty idea in fact, but he didn’t care.
Even as he retraced his steps back to her he warned himself that this was trouble. He had a shitload of reasons why he couldn’t get involved with her, why he needed to keep his emotions as far away as another galaxy. But his logic was on vacation and his libido was sunny side up.
Even as their lips touched, he lost his sanity.
He swiped his hand across the table, knocking the bottle and glasses to the floor with a loud shattering crash. He’d worry about that later. He grabbed her ass and lifted her, placing her on the edge of the table, then stepped between her legs. She was so warm and sweet, so delectable. A gift made just for him.
Cull focused on her lips that were soft and full, and they opened to him so easily. An invitation to do to her what he wanted. Hs tongue moved into her mouth, slipping in like an intruder into the night ready to steal her heart. She pressed against him, their breaths melding together, sounds of pleasure mixing like two life flows.
He buried his fingers in her damp, tangled hair, and she tousled his, nicking his scalp lightly. The feeling was unbelievably amazing and there was no doubt he’d never be the same after meeting her.
Pulling away, he sucked in a calming breath, but it wasn’t enough.
“Stay with me,” she whispered.
He wanted to stay with her. More than anything. He wanted to hold her all night long and make love to her, hear her call out his name in the height of passion. This was a huge problem. When he was near her, he was sidetracked when for years he’d been married to his job, dedicated to bringing in the bad guys. She was one of those people…wasn’t she? He didn’t want to believe it. His instincts told him that she found herself in a bad situation. He took a step back. “Monica…”
She nodded. “I understand.”
But did she really?
“These emotions are strong, but tonight is not the right time,” he said, but why didn’t he feel it in his bones?
She met his eyes and he could see she might cry. “You should go now.”
He nodded and didn’t say a word, just took his leave. How many people would think he’d lost his mind?
Chapter 14
MONICA STARED THROUGH the rain splattered window after she’d cleaned up the puddle of whiskey and shattered glass. Somewhere in the darkness was her life, people that knew her…and yet, where were they? Did they even care that she had disappeared? Hadn’t she already been through this inside her head? That it wasn’t possible that she had anyone who cared. So, that would only mean she was lonely and alone.
Here with the Cades she did have friends. They made her smile and gave her purpose.
Then there was Cull. Although she felt like he wasn’t telling her the complete truth, she also felt like he wanted to do what was right for her. How many men would have pushed aside ethics and slept with her?
Could she blame him for not wanting to complicate things? He knew her less than she knew herself. Where in all this was she allowed to be happy?
She wrapped her arms around her waist and sighed. It was cold in the apartment but going to bed in Cull’s arms was where she would find the warmth she desired—needed. Her cheeks flushed. She might not remember who she was, but she certainly knew attraction when she felt it. There was one heck of a draw between them. She’d bet her life that she’d never experienced these feelings with anyone before.
When they’d kissed, the desire spread through her as powerful and strong as a forest fire. Even now she was still aroused, still wished he was here with her. She was shocked that one man could have so much affect over her body that she would have slept with him, no questions asked. What woman wouldn’t want this feeling? Maybe this was a new beginning.
A chill raced over her skin. She hadn’t started a fire in the woodstove, but she remembered how Cull showed her. Going to the stove, she stacked the wood, placed in kindling and paper and used a lighter, satisfied when the blaze caught. Then she went into the kitchen, poured water into the kettle and set it to heat on the stove. Maybe a cup of chamomile would help her sleep better, but what she really wanted was another glass of whiskey. No, she wanted Cull.
A smile turned up her lips.
While the water heated, she went to the selection of records on the shelf and thumbed through them slowly. Unfortunately, she couldn’t remember any of the artists, but there was quite a selection. Taking one record out of the sleeve, she placed it on the turntable and switched it on. Soon a comforting slow tune drifted from the speakers. It was familiar. She read the name on the cover, “Nat King Cole.”
She went back into the kitchen, humming along to the song and eventually she sung the words.
/> They’d played the song at a party.
She stopped. How the hell did I know that?
The hair on her neck lifted. She tried to focus on the memory. Whose party? Was it a friend’s? Or hers? She gripped the edge of the counter as another memory came to her. A tall man with dark eyes, smiling. She could see his face and it was the first real image she’d had of someone. But who was he? A lover? She didn’t feel any love when she thought of him.
Unsettled, she sipped at her tea. She and the man had danced to the song, but her stomach knotted. Something warned her it wasn’t a happy moment.
When she thought of Cull she felt alive.
When he was near she was happy. To be attracted to someone when she barely knew herself was frightening. She should be making better choices, but who really got to choose who they were attracted to? The heart made those choices.
They were together in this—whatever this was for now.
The strong smell of smoke engulfed her, and a throbbing sensation slammed into her head. Another image assaulted her. The tall man wearing a black. Who was he? Fear. Pain in her body, then her head. The sound of glass breaking. The smell of smoke grew stronger. She blinked. What was happening?
Smoke billowed from the woodstove.
What had she done wrong?
Then she remembered she didn’t open the flue.
She almost fell as she raced over and threw open the door. A cloud of smoke poofed out from the belly of the stove and she covered her mouth and nose. The fire had gone out, but the smoke was overpowering, making her feel dizzy.
“Oh no.” She could have caught the place on fire.
Going to the front door, she stepped outside to breathe in fresh air, tears falling to her cheeks. She gripped the rail and leaned over it, sucking in oxygen, trying to focus on her thoughts, but everything seemed out of place.
She didn’t realize that someone was watching from the shadows.
****
Tinman hunched down, waiting. He was sweating, his head hurt and his heartburn was bad. This was dangerous. He was here on the Cade Ranch and he kept looking over his shoulder. He needed to get this the hell over with and get the fuck off this land. He was shocked he’d made it this far. They were all at the rodeo and this had been his chance. Why the fuck had the chick gone too? He’d almost shit himself when Cade and the broad had come back early.
Sheltered by the Lawman (Lawmen of Wyoming Book 5) Page 12