Swallowing the sobs that threatened to send her into a mess, she closed the folder and stood. Going into the bedroom, she unzipped the bag she’d had when she was found and took out the oversized jeans and T-shirt. She brought them to her nose and inhaled deeply. They had a musky, outdoorsy smell. The same vivid image came to mind. It was of her sitting on a bench, cradling a take-out coffee in her hands. And nothing else.
The clothes were a relic from a different time and place, for a different person.
Removing the T-shirt, she dropped it aside and dressed in her clothing, instantly feeling out of place. The woman she was now, the one she’d become over the last few weeks, wasn’t the same person.
Looking at herself in the full-length mirror, she squinted at the image. The clothes hung on her and were ratty. Why did she have what appeared to be someone else’s clothing? All she could think of was how much she wanted to be in Cull’s arms.
A wave of dizziness washed over her. She had to see Burke. Maybe this awful spell would be broken and she’d find out that she didn’t love him. Of course, she didn’t love Burke. She didn’t know him.
If the truth of her heart could be figured out she would be free to make a choice. Yes, that could work. Would Burke understand that she wasn’t the same person he knew?
She’d have to be strong.
Chapter 25
“ARE YOU SURE about this?”
“Cull, you were the one who told me I needed to make a decision. I have,” Sally said to him from the passenger seat of the truck.
Cull had so much energy he wanted to punch something, but he remained calm. She looked different in the oversized clothing that looked like rags. Of course, she was still beautiful, but the sadness he saw in her eyes took away the sparkle.
She placed her hand on the door handle and looked back at him. “We better do this now before I lose my courage.”
He nodded. He’d agreed to go in with her. Hell, even if she hadn’t asked for him to join her he would have demanded that he stay.
Burke met them downstairs at the bed and breakfast. He seemed nervous when he saw Sally. That struck up Cull’s protective side and he automatically placed his hand on her back which brought her chin up and her eyes on him. He gave her a reassuring smile which she returned, but it didn’t reach her eyes. If only she knew how terrible he felt. How it took all his energy to bring her here when all he wanted to do was run away with her.
After Kiersten’s pep talk, he knew this was the only thing that was right.
“Sally. There you are.” Burke hurried across the worn carpet to stand before her. He looked her up and down and if he’d thought anything odd about her clothing he didn’t show any glitch in his relieved expression. Cull almost wanted to give the guy an award for wearing such a huge smile. He almost felt sorry for him.
“You’re Burke,” she said softly.
“You remember me?” There was an excitement to his tone that was bound to be fizzled.
She gave her head a shake. “A little. Cull told me about you…us. I don’t remember much.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. That simple act shot through Cull.
“I understand. I’ve been looking all over for you, Sally. I worried…well, I thought maybe…” He lowered his gaze to the floor for ten seconds, then brought it back up. “I’ve found you. Thank God, I’ve found you.”
“Forgive me, but I don’t remember us living together.”
He nodded. “It’s okay. I’m sure when we get home around all your things it’ll trigger memories.” He seemed hopeful.
Cull’s chest tightened.
Sally’s frown grew. “Our home.”
“It’s a nice place. You decorated it.” He pointed to the table. “Come. Sit down. Let’s order you your favorite tea. Earl Gray with extra honey.” He looked around for someone to help, but the place was empty. He sighed. “This place isn’t good for service. I’ll go find someone.”
Cull got the distinctive feeling that Burke intentionally didn’t include Cull in the invite. He probably hoped he could be alone with Sally, but it was not happening, not until Cull was sure. Sure of what though? If he let her leave, he might never see her again. No, he’d make sure he visited her often, at least until he couldn’t take the pain any longer.
“He seems nice,” she said to Cull.
“Sure. He’s excited to see you.” They both seemed to skirt around anything serious.
Burke rushed back. “I thought we could make plans to get you back home. I’ve even taken the liberty of calling your doctor in Cheyenne. He can’t see you for a few more days, but I think we need to make sure you’re okay.”
Cull would give the man credit. It seemed like he was looking out for her best interest.
Burke looked Cull in the eye. “Thank you for taking care of my girl, Mr. Cade. She looks well, thanks to you, but I think it’s best that she gets back to her life. With me.”
Stuffing his fists into his front pockets, Cull had to control himself. If this man thought he could shoo Cull away with a few positive words, he needed a reality check.
Sally looked up at him. “It’s okay, Cull. I’ll be okay. This is for the best.”
He blinked. And now she was shooing him away too?
What the hell?
He searched for an excuse, any old excuse to stay, but then he realized he had to follow her cues. She’d explained to him that she needed to see her old life, yet neither of them had mentioned what they’d shared or what the future would hold.
Swallowing the cotton ball feeling in his throat, he managed a quick nod. “Okay, but what about your safety?”
“I assure you I won’t let anything happen to her,” Burke said.
Cull didn’t want to be rude, but the man’s statement didn’t do anything but make him angry.
Sally started to touch his hand, but she pulled back as if it might hurt Burke’s feelings. “I must do this. I’ll be okay.”
Meeting her gaze, he couldn’t have argued with her. What choice did he have? She was free to leave.
****
Sally wasn’t sure how long she had stood in the bathroom.
She didn’t remember one thing about the apartment. Not. One. Single. Thing. It was nicely decorated, clean, but lacked the homey feeling of Cull’s apartment back on the ranch. The bathroom was stone and tile, and the vanity had a few make up items, brush and perfume, but it just didn’t…well, feel like her. Not in the slightest.
On the drive to Cheyenne he’d filled her in on everything from what she did for a living, a physical therapist, to their plans for the future. As he talked and talked, and talked more, she listened halfheartedly. Her mind kept conjuring up an image of Cull walking away from the bed and breakfast. She’d known all it would have taken was one word and he would have stayed with her, probably even came to Cheyenne with her if she’d asked.
Truth was, she missed him. Then why had she asked him to leave?
She had to do this on her own. She’d depended upon Cull for everything since he’d saved her. It was time she figured out the missing pieces to the puzzle. Burke was the only one who could answer the questions.
At the window that looked down onto the busy street, she fought back tears. What if she smashed the window and climbed down to the street, caught a cab and went back to the Cade ranch? How fair would that be to Burke? Or Cull?
Nothing was right about this scenario. Her feelings. Her desires. She was here hoping to find answers, and so far, the only thing she’d found was more confusion.
Her future felt like it had been ripped from her.
There was a soft knock on the door. “Sally?”
She stayed quiet. If she didn’t answer, what would he do? If it was Cull he’d break down the door to make sure she hadn’t drowned in the tub, but she didn’t know Burke and how he’d respond.
She guessed it was safer to answer. “Yes?”
It was quiet enough that she thought he might not have heard, but then it came.
“Are you okay? Are you hungry?”
She closed her eyes and swallowed her feelings. “No thank you.”
“Then you must be ready for bed.”
Her eyes came open wide. “No, on the other hand, I am a bit hungry.”
Could she do this? Did she have it in her? She was supposedly engaged to the stranger outside of the door. She was bound to him by promise, and yet she felt linked to Cull. She’d accepted a proposal to a man she couldn’t remember.
He’s a stranger to me.
She felt like she was betraying Cull by even being here.
Her heart began to race and she felt weak. “This can’t happen,” she whispered. She had to be honest with Burke. That would be the fair thing to do for everyone. How would he take the fact that she’d made love to Cull and she cared for him? She loved him.
A warm, flush spread over her.
“Chinese okay?” His voice was gravely. Did he sense her worry?
Grabbing a towel from the hook, she covered herself and opened the door, watching his eyes rake over her. She understood that look. He thought they’d take up where they left off, wherever that was. It was imperative she told him the truth soon.
“Chinese is fine. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” That should suffice him for a while.
Twenty minutes later she was sitting at the table with an order of sweet and sour chicken and rice. He watched her carefully and since he’d gone to the trouble of ordering for her, she ate a couple of small bites. “Delicious.”
“It’s your favorite.”
She nodded. He’d poured her some red wine and she drank thirstily.
“Are you nervous,” he asked.
Her mind screamed “Yes!” But instead she said, “I was thirsty.”
“I’m so glad you’re back, honey. I’ll take tomorrow off and we can get to know each other again. We can catch up.”
Rolling her finger around the wine glass, she tried to think of the ways to tell him about what she’d done with Cull, but the words wouldn’t come to her. All she could do was stuff her mouth with bad tasting chicken.
Chapter 26
KACE GRABBED A handful of cheese doodles and stuffed his mouth, then belched loudly. His football team scored and he came out of the seat, cheese doodles flying everywhere.
Cull squinted. “Do you make this mess at your own house?”
“Are you kidding me? Tyler would have my head. That’s why I’m here. Enjoying some bro time.”
Cull shrugged and opened another beer. “Does she know you’re here?”
“Yup. She told me I needed to get out of the house for a while.”
“And you didn’t think that was a bit odd?”
“I didn’t ask. Since she’s pregnant she bites my head off if I get in the way.”
“And yet you’re still a lucky man,” Cull said.
“You’re right, man. I love that woman so damn much.” He grabbed another fistful of snacks and chewed noisily. “Kiersten told me what happened with Monica.”
“It’s Sally. And our sister has a big mouth,” Cull moaned.
“Ah, she just thought you needed a shoulder to cry on,” Kace admitted.
Cull blinked. “So Tyler knows too and that’s why she told you to come here.” Cull should have known.
“Hell, the rest of the clan would be here too, but I thought I’d give this support thing a chance. How am I doing?” Kace asked.
“Well, outside of getting your orange stained hands all over my chair, drinking all my beer and spending this bro quality time staring at the TV, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”
“You don’t really want to share your feelings anyway, right?” Kace lifted a thick brow.
“No.” He guzzled half the can of beer. “I wonder how she’s doing?”
“Who?”
“Sally, you dumbass. Who else?” Cull refused the urge to throw the can at his brother’s head.
“I don’t know. Call her and ask.”
“Are you joking me? I can’t do that.”
“Then watch the game. It’ll help the blues.” Kace gestured toward the TV.
“Fine.” He stretched out his legs. “I did a background check on the guy and he checked out, but what if he’s a jerk in disguise? Not every douchebag has a record.”
Kace tossed the rest of the doodles in the bowl. “Listen, whether you can admit it to yourself or not, you know this is the best for her. She had another life, man. That poor guy has been looking for her. Probably worrying his head off about her.”
“I see your point. I know it’s the right thing, but why doesn’t it feel right?” Cull emptied his can of beer and reached for another, popping the top.
Kace shifted his body to look at Cull. “Seriously? Did you go and fall in love with her?”
Every cell in his body wanted to say “no” but Cull found he didn’t have it in him to deny her. “Yeah, I did.”
The beer can slipped out of Kace’s hand and splattered everywhere. “Shit!”
Cull didn’t even have the energy to bitch about the mess.
“And you let her leave?” Kace moaned.
“You just said it was the best thing for her.”
“That’s when I had no clue you loved her, Cull. Never let a woman walk away when you have feelings for her. Did you not learn anything from my situation with Tyler? I wasted ten fucking years lonely and broken-hearted. Don’t do what I did, man. Don’t take the chance that she’ll never know.”
Even after hearing Kace’s suggestion, Cull didn’t move. Although he loved her, he couldn’t waltz into her life until she knew what she wanted. She was promised to another man and Cull didn’t have a right to cause problems.
Ten minutes of silence passed until Kace finally asked, “What do you really think of this Burke?”
“That he isn’t Sally’s type. He’s a metrosexual, goody two shoes that doesn’t look like he’s worked a hard day in his life.”
A loud crack of thunder made the windows rattle.
Kace took a long swig of his beer. “That might be the type she likes.”
“I don’t think so.” Not with the way she’d responded to his touch. How they’d made love and he’d had her squirming under his body. He didn’t even want to think that she could experience that with another man. It angered him so much that he couldn’t sit still. He jumped up and went into the kitchen to clear his head.
“Grab me some pretzels while you’re in there,” Kace yelled.
“We don’t have pretzels,” Cull muttered, not really caring about the food.
“I’m almost out of cheese doodles.”
“So go home where there’s plenty.”
Kace got up. “You know what, I think I will. I miss my wife and I’d rather watch the game from the comfort of my own chair. You can stay here and brood.”
Cull didn’t even watch his brother leave. He instead grabbed his full beer and downed it. He was going to feel like he’d been run over by a truck in the morning, but it beat feeling heartbroken.
His cell rang and he thought about ignoring it, but he knew it could be Sally. “Hi,” he said into the phone.
“Hi, Cull. How are you?”
It was her!
Her voice sounded like heaven to his ears. It had been two days since she’d left and he missed her voice, her laughter, her face, her body...everything. “I’m fine.” He wouldn’t fill her in on the truth that he hadn’t left the house and was busy getting drunk. “And yourself?”
There was a short hesitation. “I still don’t remember a lot and I feel like I’m living in a stranger’s house. Quite good, huh?” She laughed and his heart kicked up in speed.
“You were living in a stranger’s house here too.”
“But it was comfortable. I won’t keep you long, but I guess I wanted…”
“What Sally?” He needed to hear her voice a little longer.
“I don’t know…I just miss everyone at the ranch. And you. Maybe we can talk again soon?
”
“I’d enjoy that.”
“I better go. See you soon.”
****
“So, you miss him, huh?”
Sally turned around and spotted Burke standing a few feet away. She hadn’t heard him come in. “Huh?”
“That was the lawman, wasn’t it?” His lip curled.
“Yes, but I said I miss everyone. They were kind to me. I made friends with all of them,” she said. She and Burke hadn’t said more than five words to each other since she’d declined sleeping in the same bed with him. She understood he must want things back fast, but she wasn’t ready. She did, however, have a few memories come back of him, but she couldn’t understand why they were of them arguing. She planned on speaking to him about her feelings soon.
He dropped his briefcase down onto the floor and it landed with a loud thump. Anger covered his features. “So, he gets an “I miss you” and I can’t even get you to look at me.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Burke, did you have a bad day?”
He laughed but it was raw and angry. “A bad day? Would you care?” He crossed the room, poured himself a scotch and emptied the tumbler to fill it back up.
A flash of a memory swept through her brain. Burke. A glass. It shattered on the wall. Did he have a temper? “I made some dinner. I thought we could sit down and talk.” She rounded the counter and started to plate the steak when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her against him. She felt his erection through his pants. All she could feel was revulsion and guilt.
He nuzzled his nose in her hair. “Come on. Let’s go to bed. I need you,” he muttered.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not ready,” she admitted. “Let’s eat.” She grabbed both plates and moved away from him, but he gripped her elbow which made her drop one plate. It shattered on the floor. “Burke, what’s wrong with you?” She looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“What’s wrong with me? Are you kidding? You’re my fiancé. I want you and I should have you!”
Sheltered by the Lawman (Lawmen of Wyoming Book 5) Page 20