Then she burst out in peals of laughter, her arms wrapping around her side as she shook.
“Good God, Amanda, is that what this is all about? Of course Sven and his crew do heroin. How could you not know that?”
Chapter 4
I stared at Kayla in shock, my mouth hanging open, as she giggled in amusement. It was a long moment before I could sort through my jumbled thoughts enough to speak.
“You knew?”
Her grin was wide. “Lord, Amanda, how could I not know? Heck, they had their gear out at the campfire before we were settled in the sand! Never mind the state of their room. I’d have to be blind not to have known it.”
A tint came to her cheeks. “But, of course, I understand why you didn’t see it, sweetie. You’re not around the rough types that frequent bars. You live in a gentler world.”
The campfire scene came back to me, how casual the bass player had been about using in front of the group. I hadn’t stopped to think about it; I’d been swept up in my own reaction, and Evan’s coming after me. And, of course, our passionate interlude which followed.
Kayla’s eyes sparkled and she nudged me. “God, Evan must be really good if you were too distracted to notice the track marks. Sven, Hank, Tom, they all have them. Heck, I’ve seen them all using.” She chuckled. “Guess it’s true what they say about guitarists and their fingers.”
I stilled.
I had just thoroughly examined Evan’s arms. There had not been one sign of needle use on either one.
The thought came to me, suddenly, that perhaps Evan was caught up within something beyond his control. After all, he had only come on board to be a bartender. He simply wanted to get his feet back underneath him. He was blessed by a dream spot with the ship’s band. It was only then that he realized, once he moved into their room, that they maintained an illicit life as drug smugglers.
What could he do, as the new guy on board, against three veterans? Maybe he chose to ride it out, fake acceptance of their lifestyle, with the knowledge that soon he’d be away from them all.
A soft glow returned to my heart as I absorbed the idea. It made sense, now, the way Evan had asked me to keep certain parts of his life history a secret. He didn’t want to upset the delicate balance. He just had to get through two more months.
I looked up to Kayla, my resolve firming. Evan might have a short time before his tour ended – but Kayla was talking about starting up a fresh one and delving whole-heartedly into the chaos.
I just couldn’t let her do it.
I leant forward, putting my hands on my knees. “Kayla, I know you’re looking at this as a wild romantic adventure. I understand. Sven is handsome and charismatic. He’s an amazing singer. You’d get to experience exotic ports.” I shook my head. “But they’re not just fun-loving musicians. They’re heroin dealers. That’s a dangerous crowd to be mixed up with.”
Kayla chuckled. “Oh, Mandy, you’ve been watching too many TV dramas. These guys have done heroin for years. It’s just part of their creative juice, like lava lamps or beaded curtains. When they took on this ship gig, it became much harder to keep the supply flowing. They realized if they were going to do all this smuggling-on-board work anyway, why not get the habit to pay for itself?” She shrugged. “Perfect business sense, of course. They’re doing quite well for themselves.”
My brow furrowed. “Kayla, this isn’t like medicinal marijuana.”
She shrugged, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Heck, Amanda, it’s no worse than those prescription drugs I used to steal from my mom’s closet. Heroin was first sold over the counter. Puritans make it out to be some sort of a demon drug. It’s not. It’s simply a fun way to enjoy life.”
My fingers clenched. “Tanya didn’t enjoy her life.”
Kayla’s eyes softened, and she reached forward to take my hands. “Oh, hun, I know Tanya’s death affected you immensely. You were always much closer to her than I was. But really, that was years ago. You can’t keep obsessing about it. If a friend died in a car crash, I’d be sad, but I wouldn’t swear off driving for the rest of my life. You have to move on.”
Kayla’s hands were right there in mine, but it was as if she were slipping down a twisting, shadowy tunnel and I was powerless to draw her back up again. “Kayla, this is different!”
She shook her head. “It isn’t. Heroin comes from a flower! It’s a natural substance like tobacco, alcohol, or marijuana. Governments like to move them on and off banned lists for tax money, to earn the soccer-mom’s vote, or who knows what else. But, heck, millions of people use heroin.”
Her eyes glowed. “Those connoisseurs are not evil people! They’re dedicated lovers of a historic delicacy.” She sniffed. “It’s just our high-collared government which forces them to be criminals.”
My heart constricted with worry. “Please come with me, Kayla. Stay on Bermuda with me.”
She sighed, gently patted the side of my head, and then rose. “You stay, Mandy. You swim with your fishes, watch the sun set, and have a peaceful flight back home. Don’t worry about me. Our lives are just different, and that’s all right. You’ll settle into your nice accounting job and sip a glass of wine each evening while the scullers row by on the Charles. Someday I’ll get an email that you’re engaged to a nice comptroller at some multinational bank.” She smiled down at me. “I’ll be very happy for you. Wherever I am, I’ll be sure to make it back for your wedding. I’m sure you’ll be lovely in white.”
She walked to the door. “Let me go, Amanda. I have my own path to lead, and I’ve finally found the perfect partner. There’s no way I’m going to let him get away.”
She pulled the door open, stepped through, and then the room echoed in its emptiness.
I stared at the door, my heart pounding. With every ounce of my energy, I willed her to return.
There was a knocking at the door.
I leapt to my feet, relief hammering at my chest. Thank God. She was coming back. She was going to leave the ship with me, we’d go home, and everything would be just the way it had been. I raced the inches to the door, grabbed the handle, flung it open –
Evan stood there, his green eyes shadowed but firm. “I saw her head out. Is she going to say goodbye to Sven before you both pack? There isn’t much time, you know.”
I blinked, all energy fading from me in a single blow. I staggered back, sitting on my bed. The room faded into grey.
Evan’s brow creased, and he stepped into the room. “She’s not going?”
My head was shaking, although I barely remembered hearing his question. “She’s staying. She thinks she’s finally found her Shangri-la.”
Evan glanced around him, then dropped to one knee to peer beneath Kayla’s bed. “Right. Where’s your bag? We need to get you packed.”
I took in a deep breath, pushing down the warring emotions which struggled in a battle royale within my chest. “I’m staying.”
Evan stilled, glancing up at me in surprise. “You’re what?”
A full contingent of acrobats were doing twisting high-air maneuvers within my ribcage, but I managed to get the words out. “I’m staying on the ship. If Kayla stays, I stay.”
Evan slowly got back up to his feet, his eyes darkening in frustration and concern. “Amanda, we have to get you to safety. We have to get you on shore. Once we leave port –”
“I won’t leave Kayla,” I interrupted him, my resolve firming with each passing second. “She calls me naïve, but I know she’s the one not seeing this clearly. She’s going to need me when this all falls apart around her. I’ve already let one friend down, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. There’s no way I’ll abandon Kayla. Not now, not when one discussion over the next few days might save her from a deadly mistake.”
Evan lowered himself onto Kayla’s bed, taking the place that only minutes earlier Kayla had been sitting in. “Amanda, you can’t force someone onto another path. If this is what she’s determined to do, then your resisting her might only make
her even more set on seeing it through.”
I nodded. “I understand that. But sometimes it’s the little moments that matter. The quiet conversation after a bar closes. The half-aware mumbles at night as we’re falling asleep.” I looked up at him. “I have to be there for her, Evan. This may be my only chance to alter her path. These few days.”
My resolve hardened. “I won’t abandon her. Not when there is still time left.”
He held my gaze for a long moment. At last he blew out his breath and nodded. “All right. I respect that. And I suppose it’s only three more days.” He took my hands up in his, and his focus became serious. “You have to promise me, Amanda, that you’ll stay away from the band members as much as you can. Look out for Kayla, talk with her, and on Friday morning you disembark in Boston. You might have convinced her by then – and you might not have. Either way, your time on the ship is over.”
The words echoed hollowly in my heart, but I nodded in agreement. “I have a deadline, and I’ll do the best I can. But you’re right – she’s her own person, and she can be headstrong. If, despite everything I do, this is the path she chooses, I can hardly tie her up and prevent her from jumping in.”
Respect shone in Evan’s eyes, and he swallowed. “Amanda, I –”
Brrrrring!
The noise of the phone startled me. It was a moment before I reached over to pick it up. “Hello?”
Kayla’s voice shone through the phone, rich with mirth. “Hey there, sweetie. Seems Evan raced out of here last night without his phone, and the band’s getting ready to set up for the sail-away party on the main deck. I don’t suppose Evan is back there with you again?”
I glanced at Evan. “He is.”
“All righty then, please release him from your seductions and get him up on stage! You’ll find this out about musicians – while they’re fun and games in the off hours, the band will always come first. Don’t try to keep a musician from his band-mates!”
She squealed as if someone had goosed her, and then the line clicked off.
Evan nodded, looking at the clock. “They need me up on deck, right? I can stay if you want to talk some more.”
I shook my head. “Kayla was right. The entire ship is looking forward to the big party. It would be a shame if it all came to a crashing halt because of me. I’ll be fine.”
He squeezed my fingers. “Are you sure? Because –”
I drew a smile onto my lips. “I think I’d just like to be alone for a while, if you didn’t mind.”
His gaze shadowed, but he nodded. “We can talk later, if you’d like.” He stood and moved to the door, stopping there to look back at me. “I’m going to have them lock the Stardust Theater at night. It’s the one place Jeff might try to catch me alone with a larger gang of friends. I’m not too worried about any ‘muscle’ he might muster up on board, but one doesn’t leave a cookie jar down at toddler-level, either. It’s best to remove temptation from him for these last few days.”
His gaze held mine. “If you need to find me there, I’ll leave a key card tucked behind the promo sign on the right. You’re always welcome, to talk, to sit, just to be somewhere quiet.”
Then he pulled the door open.
He was gone.
The room was hollow, desolate, a stony crypt from which I might never emerge. I slumped down to my pillow, closed my eyes, and allowed the darkness to descend.
Chapter 5
The flute of Champagne sat on the wrought iron table before me, the bubbles drifting ever upward. The sun was glowing golden in an azure firmament, and all around me were cheers and cries of farewell as the ship slowly pulled away from port. The celebration was even more epic than our sail-away from Boston had been, a scant four days ago.
And it touched me not at all.
I felt as if I’d descended into a shadow world, one where I could see the forms moving around me, drifting and swaying, but they were in another dimension entirely. I could hear the laughter, see the brightness in the dancers’ eyes, but the energy was distant, ephemeral, the empty space after a caller had hung up.
Kayla was in canary yellow, a skimpy bikini which barely covered the important parts of her anatomy, and Sven was staring down at her as if he might swallow her whole. His mouth was forming classic words of Bob Marley, his glowing eyes soothing her not to worry. He was a snake charmer, a mesmerist, and she was fully transfixed by his performance. She would do whatever he asked, and, like a lemming, she would follow him right off that cliff to drown.
My brow furrowed, and I took down a drink of my Champagne.
Not if I could help it.
The band hit its first break, and Kayla spun her way over to me, snagging a multi-colored tropical drink from a passing waiter as she came. He winked at her and waved her on. It seemed like she knew the entire drink-related staff on the ship by now. She plunked herself down in the chair beside me and took a long swallow.
Her eyes sparkled. “C’mon, Amanda, you should dance with me! Or are you sad about not playing with your fishie friends any more? I told you that you should have stayed on shore, if it’s what you really wanted!”
I shook my head, bringing a smile on my face. “I’m glad to be here with you, Kayla. And maybe I’ll dance tonight. I’m still feeling worn out. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Her grin widened. “You go, girl! It’s about time you had a wild fling. Get that motor running. Remember, you’re still on vacation! And Evan seems to be the perfect prescription for what ails you.”
I looked over to the gazebo. Evan was in conversation with the other three band members. My heart tightened. He had not looked over once during their first set. His focus had been solely on his fingers, on the chords and progressions of notes. After that strong connection we’d had before, I felt the loss keenly. It had seemed our souls sang in tune, our voices chimed in harmony, and now he was gone, he was lost, he was –
He turned and looked right at me, his gaze shining with emotion.
I dropped my eyes to my flute, my cheeks flaring.
Kayla giggled, nudging me in the shoulder. “See, he’s the perfect vacation guy,” she promised. “Tall, dark, stunningly handsome. Then you’ll go back to the placid life you had before, and the memories can keep you warm at night.”
She looked down at her drink again for a moment, taking a theatrical sip. The fingers of her left hand drummed against the table. Her voice had an odd constriction to it when she spoke. “Speaking of which, what else did Evan do before he came on board?”
I glanced up at her in curiosity. Kayla was normally a full-out kind of woman. Something about her tension seemed off. “What do you mean? He’s a musician. He plays guitar.”
She gave a light laugh and traced a finger around the rim of her glass. “Well, yeah, on ship he does. And he started as a bartender. But I’m curious about when he was back in Boston. What did he do there?”
My brow creased. “He was a musician. He played guitar. After the marathon bombing, he was involved in a lot of benefits.”
Kayla pursed her lips. “But most musicians do something else, too, to pay the bills. What else did Evan do?”
Tension crept down my neck and curled into the top of my spine. I flicked my eyes past Kayla to the gazebo.
The four men were still talking, but I noticed that Sven had settled himself so that Kayla and I were within his view, ensuring Evan had his back to us. It occurred to me that at every other break, Sven and Kayla had raced off to be together, to soak in the hot excitement of the gig.
But here she was, chatting with me, asking pointed questions about Evan.
I took a long sip of my bubbly, rolling the liquid around in my mouth. Then I drew a smile onto my lips, looking back up at her.
“Like you say, poor Evan’s love of music couldn’t pay the bills, Kayla. That’s how he ended up here. He performed at too many Boston Marathon benefits, his income dried up, and his landlord evicted him.” I gave a soft shrug. “His heart won out
over his head, I’m afraid.”
“That’s a shame,” Kayla mouthed, but it was as if she was focusing on memorizing the details, to recite them like a human tape-recorder later on.
“A shame? I don’t know,” I murmured. “I think it was fairly noble of him.”
“Of course, of course,” nodded Kayla, turning in her seat to look to the gazebo. “But anyway, I think they’re ready for their second set!”
Indeed, Sven was moving to the microphone, almost as if he’d been signaled that the time had been long enough. The music wound back up, the floor trembled with the rhythm of the drum, and Kayla was back in position, down beneath his gaze.
I watched her dance, almost able to see his fingers pulling the marionette’s strings.
* * *
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