Noble Pursuits

by Chautona Havig

  “Great! I’m so relieved. Do you want me to go with you? I mean, I wouldn’t go in the room—well, not with the doctor—but I could wait outside—in— Did you have a proposal for me?” Nolan couldn’t seem to get his words organized properly. In trying to avoid the bargain aspect of the situation, he’d dug a very uncomfortable hole for himself.

  “Proposal. Hmm. I thought that was something that men did. I’m kind of old fashioned for that, but…”

  “Ok, ok. Just give me the particulars.”

  “It’s simple. You agree to help us spot the Brunswick attacker, or I don’t show for my appointment.”

  Nolan beckoned her inside as he moved into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. She watched, fascinated, as he swallowed a couple of aspirins and inhaled the water. “That must be a monster headache.”

  “Well, you should know. You gave it to me.”

  Her teasing dissolved immediately. She plumped couch pillows and pulled a throw blanket from the back of a nearby chair. “Here, lie down and close your eyes. I’ll get you a cloth for that forehead. Where can I find one?”

  “That’s ok. I’ll be fine with the aspirin.”

  She pulled his legs up onto the couch and covered him with the blanket. “Come on, really, it will work quicker than the medication.”

  Minutes later, Nolan lay on the couch with cool washcloth on his head. Grace sat on the floor next to the couch and occasionally flipped the washcloth over. “Feeling any better?”

  Her tone was contrite. He wanted to assure her that it would be ok, but she spoke first. “Nolan, you did know I was joking, didn’t you? I really wouldn’t skip the appointment. I don’t operate that way. I just hoped that you’d see how important it is to us that Paige tries to see if she can recognize this guy.”

  Nolan, despite her objections, removed the cloth and threw it backhanded into the kitchen. To Grace’s astonishment, it landed squarely in the sink. He pulled himself up onto the arm of the couch and rested his head in his hand in order to see her better. The tears in her eyes hurt him.

  It had not taken him long to learn that Grace did not cry frivolously. The one thing that would quickly move her to tears was the idea that she had caused pain or trouble for someone else. Watching her struggle to control her emotions removed a barrier that he hadn’t realized that he’d erected.

  Sitting upright, he beckoned her to sit beside him. “I want to pray. Come here.”

  With his arm around her shoulders, and her head nestled against his, Nolan initiated the first of many special prayer times between them. He prayed for wisdom, for understanding of her feelings, and for Grace to understand his concerns. He prayed for direction and that they would come to a unified agreement on both the appointment and the identification scheme.

  Her sobs punctuated his amen. Unprepared for the onslaught of emotions that his protective prayer brought upon her, Grace struggled to control them, and Nolan fumbled in his attempts to comfort her. They sat in bewildered silence as she worked to regain her dignity.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” He couldn’t continue. His concern for her grew the longer she cried. Nolan smoothed her hair. He was surprised that he noticed how soft and silky it felt when his mind was so thoroughly occupied with her tears.

  After some time, they walked to the door with a tentative agreement. Nolan would talk to Todd Mercer and ask for help in avoiding any danger. If pitfalls could be avoided, he’d help Paige identify her attacker. She would keep her appointment on Thursday; he would drive her there, wait in the reception area, and then drive her back home. Grace noticed a mental shift that desired to honor Nolan’s wishes and pondered it as he opened his door for her.

  “Grace…” His attempt to speak drifted into the frigid December air. He wrapped his arms around her and mumbled a few endearing words into her ear. A feeling of shyness overcame her as she listened to him share his concerns, fears, and love for her.

  With Grace safely across the street, Nolan returned to his couch, pulled his blanket back over him and prayed in earnest. The more time he spent with her, the more freedom he felt to be honest about his feelings for her, the harder it was for him to behave in a brotherly manner. Reaching for his Bible, Nolan searched until he found the scripture that he sought. Turning to I Timothy chapter five, Nolan read.

  “‘Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him, as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.’”

  Lord, I want to treat her as a sister, but if I only, always treat her as I would a sister, she’ll doubt my love for her. Show me the balance of courting her as Solomon did in his book of songs and honoring her as a sister in the Lord. This is so hard, Lord. Can’t we just dash off to Las Vegas tomorrow?

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Cade! That’s not a word. I’m sure of it! I challenge you to a dual of dictionaries… Engarde!”

  Grace flipped through her dictionary looking for the dubious word, farctate. “Aha…fa…far… farcta.. oh, my, farctate is a word? What does it mean?”

  Grace’s laughter greeted Mrs. Crenshaw as she knocked and entered the house. “What’s going on in here?”

  “Lila, your son just bested me at Scrabble with the word—drum roll please—farctate. The meaning of which happens to be: the state of being stuffed with food.”

  Lila Crenshaw gave her son a significant look before chuckling. “He’s been scouring the dictionary for a word that he thought you wouldn’t know and wouldn’t believe existed. It sounds like he succeeded.”

  Cade gathered his books and started to put the game away, but Grace stopped him. “No way, leave it there, Cade. I’m going to show Nolan when he comes by.”

  After Cade dashed out to the Crenshaw Suburban, Grace turned back to Lila. “Um, is there a way that he can stay with someone else next week? Paige, Nolan, and I have something we’re going to be doing and there is a slight risk of it being unsafe. I doubt that it’d be a problem, but I just don’t want to take a chance.”

  Lila nodded. “Maybe Jon and I can switch around our schedules so that one of us is home with him over winter break. Unless I call, assume you’re free until after New Year’s.”

  She started to respond but Lila stopped her. “One thing, this thing you’re doing. How unsafe is it?”

  Grace hesitated. “Lila, I’m going to be giving Paige the opportunity to identify her attacker. She won’t be visible; she’s going to park behind Nolan’s house and then watch from his attic with binoculars. Nolan will be here setting up his computer. It’ll be fine.”

  Lila’s voice was quiet and concerned. “Grace, be careful. I know it seems simple, but nothing ever is. I’ll light a candle at Mass for you.”

  Grace smiled, hugged her friend, and walked Lila to the door. She wasn’t sure what lighting candles meant to a Catholic, but she assumed it was akin to, “I’ll pray for you.”

  ~*~*~*~

  “Nolan, I’m nervous. What if something is wrong? I thought ignorance is bliss and all of that. I think I want bliss.” Grace half-joked with her companion as they sat in the waiting room. She filled out several forms, and the more she wrote, the more nervous she became.

  “Look at this. I have almost every symptom they list. Am I only supposed to tell them if it’s debilitating, or if I’ve ever had it, or somewhere in between?”

  Nolan covered her cold hands and quickly prayed for peace. “I’ve had half of these in the last six months at a time or two. I think it’s a matter of whether you have them all together, or in conjunction with each other. Why don’t you star the ones that are chronic or persistent or have been severe, and tell him what you did? Dry skin on me wouldn’t mean anything, perhaps. But if you have dry skin, hair loss, and a rash, they might have something to do with each other.”

  Nodding, she made asterisks next to her symptom list. After pulling out her handwritten timeline of symptoms and anything that she could remember of
possible triggers, Nolan submitted the paperwork to the nurse at the reception desk.

  She fidgeted in her seat, picking at her skirt and toying with her purse strap. When she began picking at her nails and cuticles, Nolan took her hands in his and held them still. The effect calmed her almost immediately.

  As they talked quietly in their corner of the office, Nolan played with the bracelet on Grace’s wrist. “It looks nice on you. I didn’t know if you preferred white or yellow gold, so I got both.”

  “I love it. This mouse is adorable. As I can afford it, I’m going to get a charm of every fear that I have. It’ll be a reminder to me that I should fear nothing but rather rest in Christ and His protection.”

  He nodded, but almost reluctantly. Grace’s words were true and full of Christian strength. They also struck a blow to his desire to be her protector. She noticed the change in his demeanor and tapped the back of his hand with her finger.

  “What’s wrong? What did I say?”

  He met her gaze as Grace’s eyes filled with concern. “Selfishness. It’ll get me every time.”

  “What are you feeling selfish about?”

  Embarrassed, Nolan confessed his desire to be perceived as her protector. “Pathetic, isn’t it?”

  “I think it’s amazing. I always hoped that someone would want that job someday.”

  “But you’re right, Grace; that is God’s job.” Nolan’s voice held traces of regret.

  “Nolan, no one said that God can’t use you to do His protecting. Husbands are told to protect their wives, fathers are to protect their children, and brothers protect their sisters…”

  “I’m not your father, brother, or husband.”

  Grace smiled at the disappointment in his voice. Occasionally, she wondered if he would change his mind about pursuing a relationship with her, but each day that passed proved to her that he had already decided. He was waiting for her to know her own heart before committing himself permanently. She, on the other hand, was not in any rush.

  “Why are you smiling like that?”

  “You don’t like bold and brash women, Nolan. You wouldn’t want me to answer.” Grace made simpering motions and batted her eyelashes as she fluttered a flyer for migraine medication like a fan.

  His laughter rang out across the room. The receptionist looked up and smiled at him before reluctantly looking back down at the work before her. Nolan grew sober. “Come on, Grace; tell me.”

  “Women really do throw themselves at you, don’t they? The receptionist seems quite taken.”

  “You saw it? It’s not just in my head? Sometimes I wonder if I’m not just some conceited guy who thinks more highly of himself than he ought.”

  Grace shook her head. “I’ve smiled at people and had them smile at me. I’ve seen women smile at men out of politeness and in flirtation. She definitely showed marked interest.”

  “But you haven’t answered my question. What bold and brazen thought made you smile to yourself like that?”

  Before Grace could answer, the receptionist called her to the examination room. She stood, gathered her purse and notebook, and leaned down to whisper in Nolan’s ear. “Yet. I was going to say yet. See you in a few.”

  Nolan sat and mentally retraced the steps that would lead Grace to answer with the single word “yet.” What did that mean? Yet what? Why had she been so enigmatic?

  Meanwhile, Grace sat in the examination room, half clothed on a cold padded table. Dr. Kline entered the room with a look of concern on his face. “How are you? I’m not accustomed to seeing you when you’re not looking like you’re ready for the grave.”

  “Well, if you’ve read my chart…”

  “I have. Now I can’t make a definite determination, but you have all the classic signs of hypothyroidism—low thyroid function. I’ll be ordering a blood test. Now, let’s see what we can see.”

  Dr. Kline examined Grace in his trademarked tactful way. In minutes, she stood and walked to the front desk where she received instructions for blood work and nutritional advice. Nolan concentrated on ignoring the nurse and receptionist who took turns trying to catch his eye and tried to think of what she meant by “yet.” The door opened and Grace, smiling and laughing with the doctor, brought him to meet Nolan. “Dr. Kline, this is my dear friend, Nolan, Nolan, this is Dr. Kline. He’s the doctor who didn’t get to deliver me after all.”

  Nolan and the doctor shook hands and spoke for a moment as Grace made an appointment for the following week. Seeing the nurse try to catch Nolan’s eye, Grace felt mischievous. “Nolan, honey, is there any way that you can bring me back next Friday?”

  Nolan started. “Sure.”

  “No appointments that day? Do want me to call and make an appointment after you check your schedule?”

  As Grace questioned him, Nolan gathered himself together. “If I’ve forgotten something, I’ll reschedule. I want to be here with you.”

  While Grace confirmed the appointment, Nolan said goodbye to the doctor and stood beside her, his hand resting lightly around her shoulders. Enjoying herself, Grace smiled up at him as she paid for the visit. “Have a lovely day, ladies.”

  As the couple walked to the car, they laughed. “That was so much fun!”

  Nolan tweaked her hair. “I almost lost it when you called me honey.”

  Grace gave him a saucy grin. “You didn’t like that? I’ll have to remember to avoid ‘honey’ in the future.”

  Bending low, he murmured, “Gracie, honey, you can call me any endearing name that you like.”

  “Uh uh, bub, honey is my name—until I find a better one anyway. I had to think quickly.”

  The pair tossed out names of endearment as they settled themselves in Nolan’s car and drove out of the parking lot. Grace gave a little shout of triumph. “I’ve got it! Nolie. I’ll call you Nolie”

  “I think not!”

  Grace’s giggles joined his chuckles. “Awww, you don’t like it? C’mon… what do you like? Hey, what does Nolan mean?”

  A deep red flush crept up the back of his neck. “Noble.”

  “As in Noble Solutions?” Grace was trying to think of a new name based on the word Noble.

  “It was my mother’s name. She suggested it, and I liked the way it sounded full of integrity, so I chose it.” His tone was somewhat embarrassed.

  “Well, English nobility consists of Lords, Dukes, Earls, Barons… I can’t call you lord, you’re not my husband. Duke belongs to John Wayne and Earl sounds like the name of a dog. I think I’ll call you ‘sir.’”

  “Oh, that’s endearing. I can just see those two women getting scared off by hearing you call me ‘sir.’”

  Grace’s laughter filled the car as Nolan pulled into a local restaurant. “Oh, I’m sure it’s the way that you say it that makes it endearing.”

  Nolan was silent for a few seconds. He wasn’t prepared to be as open with her as he wanted to be. He was unsure of how quickly he could lay his full range of emotions on the table. “Grace, I don’t think you have any idea how much I’m holding myself back.”

  “Back? From what?” Grace felt the turn in the conversation shift from lighthearted to serious but didn’t want to make too many presumptions.

  Nolan looked confused. “Well, I don’t know. I’d say from you, but that’s not right. I don’t ever want to hold back anything from you.”

  “So what is it?”

  “Well, I’m waiting for you to make a determination about your feelings for me, and if you can respect me enough for a permanent commitment.”

  “Determination of feelings. Permanent commitment. You’re such a man!” Grace giggled.

  “I’m trying not to pressure you. What I say and what I want are two very different things.”

  “So, tell me; what is it that you want?” Grace’s frustration mounted.

  “You.”

  “Me. You’ve got me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Nolan shook his head, which irritated Grace. “I’m not stupid,
but you’re making me feel very dense. What am I missing? Is this one of those men vs. women—you’ll never understand—Mars and Venus things? Am I being completely obtuse, or are you being deliberately difficult?”

  Nolan sighed. “The other day, I said some very intimate things to you.”

  “Yeah… you did. They were nice. I still turn them over in my mind. Then you sent me home so fast I couldn’t figure out if you were just really busy or still upset with me.”

  “I just found you incredibly attractive and wanted to get you out of there.”

  Grace beamed. “Nolan. Thank you. That is one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me.”

  “Huh?” Nolan groaned inwardly. Could he have said anything less eloquent?

  “You just told me that you find me very attractive. I’ve never been told that before.”

  A low chuckle rumbled from Nolan’s throat. “Well, I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that. I am surprised, though. What is wrong with the men in this town?”

  Her response brought him a twinge of pain. “Nolan, I’ve had a wonderful life. Everyone has always been kind to me, well, except maybe Chuck, but he’s never kind to anyone! But, well, I’m the girl that is ‘one of the guys.’ I’m the pal. I always have been, and I encouraged that. Dad said it would protect my heart for the right man someday.”

  Nolan’s curiosity got the better of him. “And did it? Did you keep your heart secure? Or did it just help?”

  “It just helped.” She looked at her hands and played with her fingernails.

  “Who was he?” He didn’t know if he had the right to ask, but his curiosity was aroused.

  “Oh, Nolan, don’t you know? It’s Jesus. I decided when I was fifteen that when I gave my heart to the Lord upon my salvation, that I gave it all to Him. Not just the dead, dirty, filthy, sin ridden part, but the part of my heart that wanted to be some man’s special someone. I wouldn’t give it away until the Lord told me I could. So, yes, it helped a little, but the Lord helped more.”

  Not knowing whether to hug her or give her a hard time, he chose to thank the Lord for His hand on Grace’s life. For the first time, he realized that she truly was a provision from the Lord.