Needing to shift topics again, I go with a safer question. “What was in New York?”
“I had to sign a new contract. A Thin Blue Line was renewed for another season.”
“Oh, that’s awesome!” I heard rumblings on a few of the news outlets that the show might get dropped. “I really hope you’re finally able to get a new partner. I don’t know why they keep pushing that story line. Tina is not a good match for Jimmy. Brody and I have been riding together for almost seven years, and I would punch myself in the face before I ever kissed him. The show needs to give Jimmy a woman who he saved or something. That would be an interesting plot. Also, your brother on the show has to stop sleeping with that model. Twitter went nuts when he went back to her. She’s a bitch.”
Eli’s gaze shifts to mine, and he chuckles. “I thought you didn’t watch the show.”
Crap. I did say that. I chew on my thumb and shrug. “I guess I’ve seen a few seasons.” I say the last word under my breath, hoping he didn’t catch it.
“Seasons?”
No such luck.
“Whatever. It’s just to see how bad you butcher my job.”
Eli shakes his head and grabs my hand. His fingers thread with mine and then he gently squeezes. “Sounds like you’re a little more invested than that.”
“Fine,” I admit. “I watch it religiously.”
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “I knew you liked me.”
I laugh and hit his chest with our entwined hands. “You’re crazy. I like your show, but seriously, tell the writers they need to clear that up.”
“So, you and your partner have never . . .”
“Eww!” I twist in my seat. “Never. He’s married first of all, and I was married to our lieutenant so that was never going to happen on Matt’s watch, but . . .”
“You were married to your boss?” he questions.
I guess I haven’t really been very forthcoming with information. Not that we’ve had a ton of time to get into much. I mentioned my ex-husband but didn’t go into any great detail. “Yes, I was married, but we’ve been divorced for almost five years. It was amicable to a point, I guess. Not sure whenever a marriage dissolves that it’s ever on good terms, but Matt and I see each other every day, so we’re civil.”
“You still see him every day?”
“He’s still my boss. Unfortunately, it means that I have the pleasure of dealing with him almost daily. I hoped they would transfer me or him, but Matt has a lot of pull in the department.”
Eli tenses, but he does a good job at hiding any further reaction. He has to know that I come with a past, just as he does. Might as well get some of this out in the open.
Besides, I’d much rather know what kind of man he is before we get too deep in a relationship or whatever this is. Matt couldn’t accept my relationship with Stephanie, and she’s a non-negotiable. If Eli can handle the Matt thing, I’ll brave telling him about my sister.
“I can’t imagine being around my ex. Especially with access to a lethal weapon.”
I laugh. “In the beginning, it was tempting, but Matt is a selfish prick. He isn’t worth the jail time.”
His thumb rubs back and forth, leaving my skin tingling in its wake. Sure enough, we pull up to the gate on Harbour Island. Here’s the contrast of my life to his. Eli scans the card that allows us access.
My anxiety starts to climb as the reasons why I should’ve said no start to swim back into my mind. I’m in his second of whatever number of vehicles, going through the metal gates to houses I couldn’t afford to rent a bathroom in, and I’m completely out of my element.
I was crazy to think he and I were ever a possibility. I don’t fit in this world.
As we drive down another road, the houses get grander, and my despair deepens.
The car stops, and he turns toward me. “You okay?”
“Yes. No. I’m not really sure,” I finally settle on.
He releases my hand and turns to face me fully. “Care to explain?” His voice is light, but the concern is clear in his eyes.
My heart lurches when I see the house we’re parked in front of. I point to the incredibly large mansion in front of us. “This. I live in a rundown house that could fit in your driveway. This is just one of the reasons I pushed you away. We’re from different worlds, and this scares the shit out of me.”
Eli sighs, exits the car, and walks around to my side.
Well, that wasn’t what I expected. Is he going to tell me to get out of his car? Am I supposed to call a cab? Is he leaving me here?
My car door opens, and he grabs my hands, helping me out of the car. After releasing a heavy sigh, he speaks. “I didn’t bring you here because I wanted to show you we come from different worlds. The truth is, I lived in the ghetto of Tampa, but I think you knew that already. Money doesn’t define who we are, it’s what’s inside us that matters.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” I’m not sure if I could hate myself any more than I do in this moment. Eli has done everything right, and my insecurities are getting the better of me.
“I want us to spend the day together, talk, and it’s private here. I’m just a guy, Heather. At the end of the day, no matter what you think I am, I’m a man.”
“I’m truly sorry,” I say immediately. “I didn’t mean to freak.” Our bodies are close, almost touching, and I pull one of my hands from his so I can cup his cheek. “You’re more than just a guy to me. You’re a man who reminds me that I’m a woman. You look at me as if I’m special, and that’s difficult to accept. More than that, you’re a guy that I spent my entire life dreaming of, but right now, you’re real.”
Eli’s arm tightens around my back. “I want to be Ellington today. Not Eli Walsh the actor or FBD member. Can we do that? Can we just be . . . ourselves?”
It’s a grand idea. To let go of the bullshit around us and just be two people getting to know one another. I want nothing more than to see who he really is. “Just the two of us?” I ask.
“No one else will be here today,” Eli says and brushes his lips against mine.
“Then it’s nice to meet you, Ellington.”
His name falls from my lips, and I sigh.
“You, too, Heather.”
I push forward, pressing a sweet kiss on his mouth. His smile is warm against my lips, and he releases his hold on me. Eli takes my hand as we walk toward the house.
He opens the door, and my jaw drops. This is beyond words. As we step inside, I look around, trying to take it all in. The foyer hosts two huge staircases that lead to opposite ends of a balcony. There are two rooms off to each side at the bottom, one of which is a library. I’m not talking about a few books on a shelf, either. The entire wall looks lined. We walk deeper, and the other room opens to what looks like a more formal living room.
“Wow,” I say with awe.
“I bought this house a few years ago. I like to visit my mother here in Tampa, and Randy lives in Sanibel Island, so this is a good medium.”
“There’s nothing medium here, Eli. This is super-sized.” My voice cracks a little as he continues to lead me down the hall.
I try to stop counting rooms because it’s beyond what I thought it was from the outside. It’s at least three times the size I assumed. The house seems to get deeper and deeper, and when we reach the back area, there are huge windows that overlook the water.
“Do you need anything before we go?” he asks.
“Go?”
“Yeah.” He laughs and points outside. “That’s my boat. We’re going to spend the day on the water.”
My eyes turn to his, and I plaster a smile on my face. I love the water. Some of my favorite memories of my dad are from when he would take me boating when I was a kid. His boat wasn’t anything like the huge one currently docked to the pier, though.
Eli moves closer, and he pushes my hair back. “Is that okay?”
I nod. “It’s perfect.”
He shows me to the
bathroom, where I put more sunscreen on, check my makeup, and say a few silent prayers that I don’t get sea sick. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on open water, and that would be my luck.
We get on the boat, which is equipped with two damn bedrooms, a kitchen area, bathroom, and a sitting area, therefore it’s a house with a hull. He shows me around, and then eases the vessel out onto the water.
I watch him command the boat and fight back a sigh. Everything he does is sexy. The way his muscles flex when he turns the wheel. How his brow furrows when he’s concentrating on steering. I don’t want to do anything but watch him, so that’s what I do. My focus is so singular, that I don’t notice when we’re out of the channel.
“Want to drive?” Eli offers, dragging me out of my staring.
“I’ve never driven a boat before.”
“I’ll help you.” He gives an encouraging smile and steps back so I have room to stand in front of him.
Too excited to say no, I move toward him and slip into the space. My hands grip the wheel, and I glance at him over my shoulder.
“Good, hold it steady and move the wheel a little if you want to go in a different direction.” Eli stands with his chest against my back, and I lean into him. “You’re doing great,” he says in my ear.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I admit.
“Let’s go right. There’s a sweet spot for fishing over that way.”
Eli’s hands come around and settle atop of mine. He isn’t steering, just holding on. I could close my eyes and get lost right now. Our bodies are so close, and his strong arms make me feel safe.
We stay like this for a while, not actually driving so much as drifting along together. Eli slows the boat and pulls me onto his lap as he holds the wheel. “It’s like we’re completely alone out here,” I muse as I stare out into the ocean.
He kisses my shoulder. “We are.”
I look back at him with a smile. “Let me get this straight, you’re a sailor, singer, actor, and fisherman?”
“I’m a man of many talents.”
My laughter is free and unabashed. “You’re something all right.”
“Come on, let’s see if you can catch our lunch.”
Eli and I move to the bow of the boat, where he has two fishing poles waiting for us. After we thread our lines and bait our hooks, we cast out into the water and stick the poles in the holders to wait. I settle back onto one of the benches and look out over the water. Deep blues and greens reflect the sunlight sending little bursts of light around. The cloud cover is light today, but they’re big and fluffy. I turn to point out a cloud that looks like a dinosaur, but I can’t speak. Eli stands there shirtless and my mouth waters.
Dear. God.
His body is exactly like I remember from our night together. Only now, I’m not in the dark. The sun shines on his perfect skin, giving me the most breathtaking view possible. I watch him move around the boat, securing a few things on the deck as I admire his chest. The tattoos etched on his arms, shoulder, and hip only make him look hotter. I swear that tattoos have never been sexier. My hands itch to trace the ink on his skin, the firmness of his muscles, feel his heat, and get lost in his touch.
“Come sit with me.” Eli holds his hand out, and I force myself to drag my eyes away from his body to take it. He leads me to a couch under a retractable awning and takes a seat in the corner, pulling me down next to him. It’s natural for me to rest my head on his chest, allowing the salty air and clean breeze to fill my nose.
“I’m glad you came.” His deep voice seems to vibrate through me.
“Me, too.”
“Tell me something,” he requests.
“What do you want to know?”
“Something true. I don’t get a lot of truth from people.”
A wash of sadness comes over me from his words. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be him. Constantly battling the feeling of people trying to get a piece of him in some way. He probably doesn’t get a lot of people being honest or just wanting to know him. I hate that for him. It must be lonely.
I sit up so I can look him in the eyes. “I won’t lie to you. You can ask me anything.”
He smiles and pushes himself closer to me. “Why do you keep saying you’re a mess?”
I sigh and look away. “There are a lot of things going on in my life.”
“Your ex?”
I laugh humorlessly. “I wish it were just that.”
“Heather,” Eli says my name with softness. “I want to know you. Really know you. I’m sure you know what the tabloids say about me, but that isn’t who I am.”
“Then who are you?” I would much rather hear more about him than air out my own life.
“I’m a brother, uncle, and son. My father died a few years after walking out on my mom. We were poor as hell, and I’ve done everything possible to make sure I never live like that again. Most days, I love acting more than singing, but I can’t imagine not having Four Blocks Down in my life. I’m old as hell, tired of being so damn angry at things I can’t control, and this is the first time I’ve ever had to chase a girl this fucking hard. Especially after giving her the goods.”
I let out a soft laugh and lightly slap his leg. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t date. I don’t have time for men. I kind of gave up the idea of being with anyone after my ex left.”
“Me, too,” he says earnestly. “We all have our things, Heather.”
I remember a few years back there was talk of Eli getting married, but you can’t believe a thing you read. My curiosity spikes a little, and I have to swat away my inner cop who wants to interrogate him about it. “You had someone once, right?”
Eli shifts, bringing my attention fully back to him. “I don’t talk about it much. She was playing me, though. Penelope was really good at it. I found out she was screwing my former agent when I came home early from a trip to surprise her. We were dealing with some personal stuff, and instead of coming to me, she went to another man. She fucked me up pretty good.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s awful.” I squeeze his hand in solidarity.
He releases a deep breath through his nose. “I won’t lie. I had no intention of ever having more with a woman, which is probably where all the rumors about my being a player come from. I don’t fuck around and play games, but I’m not known for having relationships. It’s been easier to keep my distance, and I’m always honest with the girls I’ve been involved with.”
I’ve heard all of that, which is what leads me to wonder what we’re doing here. Not that I need the promise of something magical, but I don’t need a guy who has a girl in another city, either.
My heart races as I prepare to ask my next question. “Then what do you want with me?”
His eyes are open, allowing me to see all his emotions. “More. I want more.”
“And what if you realize I’m not worth more?”
He shakes his head. “What if you’re worth it all?”
“You’ve spent a few hours with me, Eli. You can’t—”
“I’m giving you my truth,” he interjects softly. “All I’m asking for is a little of yours.”
The fear of falling for him is real. My mother and father left me, my husband left me, my sister will leave, and the last thing I want is to love someone else who will do the same. Eli doesn’t know anything about me at this point. Nothing past the superficial things. If I give him my truth, I’ll be giving him a part of me.
Fuck it. Not like he can go anywhere while we are still in the middle of the ocean. Plus, if I’m going to do this, if he wants to try, he should know.
“My sister is dying. She’s twenty-six and has Huntington’s disease, it’s a rare degenerative disease.”
His eyes widen as he sucks in a breath. “I don’t even know what to say. Is there anything that can be done?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s terminal. Stephanie’s disease has become my whole life. She’s my
whole life.”
Eli takes my hand in his. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you.”
“Ha!” I laugh sardonically. “It’s excruciating. She was diagnosed at nineteen and since then, we’ve been on a downhill slope. My husband left me because Stephanie needed full-time care. I guess I wasn’t enough of a wife to him because I was too busy taking care of my dying sister.”
“That’s why he left?” Eli asks with disgust dripping from his words.
I look in his emerald eyes and sigh. “He couldn’t handle it.”
“He sounds like a fucking prick.”
That’s a nice way to put it.
“I’m telling you this now because whatever this is that we’re doing here can’t interfere with what I have to do for my sister.”
Eli’s hand tightens, and his head jerks back. “Interfere?”
“Yes, I won’t be able to follow you around to New York, and I can’t afford to spend time away from her. I can’t get caught up in this . . . thing with you and miss spending what little time I have with Stephanie. It’s what scares me. Well, that and the fact that you’re . . . you, and I’m not in your universe. I can’t allow myself to have regrets when it comes to my sister.”
“I would never want you to. I’m not asking you to give anything up. And as for your ex, he’s a piece of shit for making you think you should choose between your sister and a man. That’s ridiculous. I have a brother, and if it were him, I’d be at his side.”
A part of my bruised heart heals a little. I look in his eyes and wait for some kind of change in his thoughts. Anything to tell me that he’s lying, but it never comes. “You can’t be this perfect, Eli.”
He laughs. “I’m far from perfect, baby.”
“You’re kind, funny, and unbelievably hot.”
“Don’t forget a God in the bedroom.”
I shake my head. “Egotistical.”
“Keep going with all my stellar qualities,” he nudges.
Instead, I lean forward and touch my lips to his. “Don’t make me think you’re great and then break my heart.”
Eli’s fingers thread in my hair. “Don’t make me keep fighting so hard to win you.”
We Own Tonight Page 11