Amorous (The Lincoln Series Book 1)

by Baer, Susan

  Hey beautiful, be ready to go at five. I need time to fix dinner when we get home.

  Home. She smiled. He made it sound like it was her home too. The thought set butterflies in flight in her stomach. It had become a second home for her anyway. She had enough outfits and other personal items at his house it seemed like she already lived there.

  ‘Naughty, naughty, cute and horny.’ She glanced at her phone to read the text from Warren.

  Only five and a half hours to go. Miss you.

  Warren was working at the hospital today filling in for one of his psychologists. He didn’t know she had a doctor’s appointment. She didn’t want to say anything if it wasn’t going to be necessary.

  She wondered how he would react to the news. He seemed to be happy, but what if he wasn’t ready to be a father yet?

  “Of course he isn’t ready. You aren’t ready to be a mother. You should’ve had Dr. Matson put you on birth control. This mess is your fault.”

  Marie didn’t want to blame herself, but she knew she could have done more to try to prevent it. Warren had used a condom every time and she had relied on him to protect them both.

  “He’s going to think you planned this.”

  “Planned what?”

  Marie gasped and turned around. Tracy was putting her purse in her desk.

  “What? Uh…nothing.”

  “Oh, come on, Marie. You can trust me to keep a secret.”

  Marie froze. How much had Tracy heard?

  “By the look on your face it must be a juicy story. If you tell me I’ll vouch that you had nothing to do with it.”

  “No…no, it’s nothing like that. My, uh, mom…she’s planning a party for my dad.”

  “So?”

  “Well…it’s a surprise party and my dad hates surprises.”

  Tracy put her hands on her hips. “Uh, huh…and?”

  “And…my mom never does anything like this so he’ll think it was all my idea.”

  “You’re a terrible liar. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I’m not lying.”

  “Marie, you looked terrified when I came in.” She crossed her arms. “Actually, you’ve been jumpy and distracted all morning. I was half afraid to leave you alone when I went for lunch. Are you okay?”

  Marie bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the tears. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

  Tracy walked to her and grabbed her hand. She looked her in the eye and sighed. “Marie, I don’t know him but you seem too happy for him to be a bad guy. Talk to him.” She squeezed her hand. “Whatever happened I’m sure he’ll believe you,” she winked, “as long as you tell him the truth. You really are a terrible liar.”

  Marie smiled. Laughter bubbled up and came out as a snort when she tried to suppress it. “Thanks, Tracy.”

  “Anytime.” Tracy walked back to her desk and pulled a stack of papers from her inbox. “Tell Janet I said hi.”

  “I will. I’ll be back by one.”

  “Okay. I’m leaving early today so I might be gone before you get back.”

  Marie waived goodbye and headed down to the bus stop. She wanted to walk, she needed the fresh air, but fatigue was setting in.

  Maybe Tracy was right. Warren would be supportive and understanding. He loved her. That much she was sure of because they had been almost inseparable from the start. And he knew she loved him too. He hadn’t said the words yet, but neither had she. Maybe he would say them if he knew she was going to have their child.

  She noticed a warm feeling spreading through her. It started deep in her heart and moved to every cell in her body. She decided her doctor was right. Some things were meant to be. This was meant to be. No matter what happened, they had each other to lean on. Warren would help her get through this.

  He had given her the courage to let go of her insecurities and she’d never been happier. Even if this wasn’t how she planned her life to go, this was her new reality. She loved Warren and he loved her. Together they would love their child and she would have a fairy tale life after all.

  ****

  Parillo’s was busy as usual. Marie spied an empty booth in the back and made her way to it while she waited for Janet. They had been planning this lunch for a week and it looked like they were finally going to get a chance to catch up.

  Marie was flying high and could barely keep her feet on the ground. Warren was her soul mate and everything was going to work out great. She could feel it deep in her heart.

  “Earth to Marie, I’m at Parillo’s. Where are you?” Janet smiled at her and slid into the seat across from her.

  The big stupid grin that had shown up shortly after meeting Warren came out in full bloom.

  “Sorry, Jan. I was just thinking.”

  “Must be some damned good thoughts. You are positively glowing.” Janet leaned back and studied her. “I don’t ever remember seeing you this happy. You look absolutely goofy.”

  Marie couldn’t decide whether to tell Janet about the baby now or wait until after she had told Warren. Instead, she just sat there grinning like an idiot trying hard not to start giggling hysterically.

  “Don’t tell me, he popped the question?”

  “No. Not yet, but maybe soon.”

  “What do you mean maybe soon?”

  “My, uh, situation has changed. I mean our situation has changed.”

  “What situation?”

  Marie wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Oh my God! You’re pregnant! I knew you were late but.” She paused. “Does Warren know?”

  “Not yet. I just found out this morning and I can’t wait to tell him.” Marie took a quick breath. “I know it doesn’t make any sense but I can’t help but feel like this is all meant to be. Dr. Matson even said so. I thought it all through this morning. You said yourself he loves me and you’ve never been wrong when it comes to men. Everything is going to work out. I mean I have no idea what to do next, but I just know we’ll figure it out somehow. I—“

  “Marie, honey, slow down.” Janet reached across the table and grabbed a hold of her hand. “I know you think he’s going to think this is the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him, but you have to at least be prepared if he doesn’t.”

  Janet squeezed her hand affectionately. “I’m not saying he won’t think that eventually, but he might be a little shocked at first. Some men don’t take this kind of news well. I just want you to be prepared. Okay?”

  Marie sighed and her smile faded slightly. “I know. But I can’t help but feel deep down that he’s going to be excited.”

  “Just take it slow, okay? I know in the end he’ll be happy I’m just not sure he’ll feel that way at first.” Janet let go of her hand. “So when are you going to tell him?”

  “Tonight. We’re having dinner at his place again. He loves to cook. He’s really great at it too. Which is great since I really don’t like to cook. I mean, I can if I have to but I’d really rather not. Anyway, he’s—” Marie stopped mid-sentence when she realized Janet was giggling. “I’m babbling again. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I’ve just got a million things going on in my head right now.”

  Janet listened to Marie ramble and sent a little prayer to heaven. Beneath her outward appearance, Janet could see the fear in Marie’s eyes. When the waitress reached their table, Marie couldn’t decide what to order and almost burst into tears when the young girl started tapping her foot impatiently. Janet suggested her usual and Marie nodded in agreement. She closed the menu and handed it to the waitress in silence.

  The rest of lunch consisted of Marie discussing the many wonderful attributes Warren possessed and her spirits rose. But despite Marie’s attempts to convince herself she was happy, Janet couldn’t help but worry. All she knew was she would be there if Marie needed her when the walls came crashing down.

  ****

  “Yeah, but sis, this doesn’t make any sense. It’s only been about two months and I feel like I can’t live without her. Hell, I’ve eve
n thought about asking her to move in with me.”

  Warren couldn’t understand how she had done it, but Marie had penetrated every fiber of his being. He thought about her night and day. He knew if he ever lost her he wouldn’t survive.

  “It makes perfect sense. Just look at mom and dad, they got married four weeks after they met. It means you’re finally in love with a woman instead of just being in lust with her.”

  “Geez, you make me sound like a pig.”

  “You’re not a pig. You’re just a man, you can’t help it.” She paused. “So, when do I get to meet her? She sounds great.”

  “Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon for that?”

  Warren sat back in his chair and rested his head on the soft leather. His family wasn’t the easiest to fit into. They were all so extroverted and full of energy. None of them knew how to keep their opinions to themselves and no subject was taboo, especially at the dinner table.

  Sometimes he wondered why none of them had become lawyers. They could all argue their point so well that extended family and friends ran for the hills at the first sign of a disagreement. Marie would need a double shot of espresso just for a five minute visit. And he wasn’t about to let anything or anyone scare her away.

  “Well, she doesn’t have to meet everyone, just me and maybe Ted. Hey! Why don’t we go out together? Just the four of us?”

  “No! The last thing I need is the two of you giving her a detailed report of my past relationships.”

  Warren leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a heavy sigh.

  “Look, sis, I don’t want to screw this one up, so let’s just keep it simple for now. Okay?”

  “Okay, but I get to meet her first before any of our knucklehead brothers do.”

  “Fine, as long as it’s just you.”

  “I guess she’s the one then, huh? I never thought you’d settle down.” She paused. “So, tell me. Just how close have you two gotten?”

  “Let’s just say we’re close and leave it at that.”

  For the first time Warren couldn’t bring himself to admit to his sister he had slept with the woman he was seeing. He and Liz were the closest of their siblings and he confided in her more than anyone. She was almost 10 years older than him and she practically raised him and his brothers while their parents both worked. Then after they were killed she’d moved back home and saved him from throwing his life away. He learned to trust her with everything. But this time was different, this time he felt the need to be the protector and he wanted to protect Marie.

  He had realized that until Marie, he hadn’t understood the difference between pure physical attraction and passion. With each relationship he had always thought he cared for the woman, until it ended. Then he had felt more relief than disappointment. But with Marie his feelings were so intense he actually feared it might end. Somehow he had to prevent that from happening.

  They had become close but he could still sense a hint of insecurity about her, almost like she was holding her breath waiting for the hurt to come.

  “Wow! This is serious. You always tell me everything.”

  “Maybe I’ve just decided to grow up and stop kissing and telling.”

  “I see. And how long will it be before Jared and Allison have a cousin to play with?”

  “Jesus, Liz! It’s only been two months. We’re not ready for that.”

  Sudden panic hit him as the thought of being responsible for another human being resurfaced. Since the first time he and Marie had made love and he saw the tear in the condom, he had been trying to convince himself she couldn’t possibly be pregnant, because the thought of being a father was too terrifying to contemplate. He wasn’t ready to be responsible for a life totally dependant on him.

  “Yeah, that’s what Ted said too, until he saw Jared. Then he said he couldn’t believe he had waited so long.”

  ****

  Marie walked into the office feeling light as air. Despite Janet’s apprehension she knew in her heart Warren would be happy. It just couldn’t be any other way. It had to be the start of something great. Somehow this was part of the wonderful life she had been waiting for. It hadn’t gone according to her well-ordered plan, but she was headed for the same happy ending.

  She put her purse in her desk and heard a muffled voice coming from Warren’s office. He must have come back from the hospital already. She thought he would be there all day, and AJ had gone to a conference that morning, so she hadn’t expected to see either of them in the office until tomorrow.

  His door was open so she headed in that direction. Maybe she wouldn’t wait until tonight. She could hardly contain herself as it was. Tracy was already gone so they wouldn’t be interrupted. She stepped across the threshold and lifted her hand to knock on the door.

  “Well that’s great for Ted but not for me. The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up. We’re just having fun right now. What the hell would I do with a baby?”

  Marie froze.

  Her blood ran cold and she tried to inhale but her lungs felt paralyzed. She tried again and her body convulsed when the air refused to move through her throat.

  Warren didn’t want the baby.

  His voice echoed in her head… ‘We’re just having fun.’

  And he didn’t want her either.

  Time stood still. Her hand slowly dropped to her side. She wanted to run but her legs wouldn’t move. She swallowed hard and her throat opened with a loud gasp. The world tilted and she grabbed the door jamb to steady herself. Her heart was beating so loudly it was the only sound she could hear.

  She looked at her desk and wondered if her legs would carry her that far before they gave out.

  Warren turned toward his door and leaned back in his chair as his sister continued.

  “You big sissy, you’re just scared.” Liz teased. “But you can take as much time as you need.”

  He looked up and halted at the sight of Marie in his doorway. She was looking at something in the waiting room, but her stance was unnerving. She was clinging to the doorframe and she was shaking so much he thought for a minute she was having a seizure.

  “Hey sis, I gotta go.” He dropped the phone on his desk.

  “Marie?” He walked to her. “Baby, are you okay?”

  She flinched when he touched her.

  “Marie, what’s wrong?”

  He reached for her hand and she recoiled.

  “Don’t touch me,” she whispered.

  She looked up at him and tears filled her eyes. The pain on her face was devastating.

  “Why? Baby, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

  She closed her eyes and the tears cascaded down her cheeks.

  “Marie, honey…” The ache in his chest made it hard to breathe. Seeing her like this was killing him. He reached up to brush the tears from her cheek. When his fingertips touched her skin her eyes snapped open and she swatted his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  “What?” He looked at her eyes and saw anger, hurt, and…contempt? “What the hell is going on Marie?”

  “I’m leaving.”

  She turned away and he grabbed her arm. She struggled to break free and he grabbed both her wrists and brought them to his chest.

  “Talk to me, Marie. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Let go of me.”

  She tried again to break his hold but something told him if he let go she’d never come back.

  “Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Please, Marie, let me take your pain away.”

  “What do you care? This isn’t your problem.”

  “Like hell it isn’t.” He tried hard not to shake her. Why wouldn’t she talk to him? “Obviously you’re angry with me about something. Don’t you think I have a right to know what’s going on?”

  “I think we should take some time off. I’m going away for a while and I’m leaving tonight.”

  Her words hit him like a freight t
rain. He let go of her wrists when she pulled away.

  “Why are you lying to me?”

  Pain and anger warred for supremacy. What the hell was happening?

  She wiped her own tears and straightened her spine. “I need some time to think.”

  “Time to think about what, a better lie?”

  “Stop acting like you care. I may have been naïve up to this point but I finally figured out what’s going on.”

  “Well, that makes one of us. Now, why don’t you clue me in on what you think you figured out?”

  “Just stop it! I’m tired of the lies. I’m not going to play this game anymore.”

  “What game? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Marie. You’re not making any sense.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Look. If you need to get away, let me go with you. We need to talk about this.” ‘And maybe get you some medication.’

  “No. I want to do this alone. I need to do this alone.”

  “Why?”

  She was rejecting him. When she wanted to move he was afraid she was looking for a way to escape him, but she hadn’t been looking lately and she had seemed happy. He needed to know what changed. He had to make things right.

  “Damn it Warren! Get the hell out of my way!”

  The glare she shot him nearly knocked him over. He had never seen her so angry. He stepped back to let her pass.

  “Marie, if I’ve done something wrong I’m sorry. Tell me what happened. Tell me what I need to do to fix this.” He was struggling to breathe normally. “Please…don’t do this.”

  She dropped her gaze to the floor and whispered, “I have to go.”

  He swallowed the pain and forced his lungs to breathe normally. “When will you be back?”

  Marie turned to him as another tear ran down her cheek. She opened her mouth to speak but said nothing.

  “Why are you leaving me, Marie?”

  His body trembled with anger and pain. Something was terribly wrong and he had no clue what had happened but, damn it, he had a right to know.

  “Don’t do this to us, Marie. We can work it out. Whatever it is we can…”