by Baer, Susan
He watched helplessly as she grabbed her coat and purse and walked out the door. Without a word he had gotten the message. She wasn’t coming back. His whole world had disintegrated in less than five minutes. When she was out of sight the pain in his chest exploded and he was sure he had died.
Chapter 18
It was all Marie could do to hold herself together on the bus ride home, but she managed it. She stared blindly out the window as she replayed Warren’s words in her mind.
‘The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up. We’re just having fun…What the hell would I do with a baby?’
He didn’t want their baby. He probably didn’t want her either. She was just a play thing that now came with a complication.
How was she supposed to face him knowing she had meant so little to him? It hadn’t been a one night stand, but it wasn’t anything more than a temporary affair. She was sure he knew how she felt and the humiliation was too much for her to bear.
She closed her eyes against the pain. She couldn’t believe what a mess she had made of her life in just two months. She had worked so hard to get her job with Dr. Carrington. But now her future seemed so out of control, her neatly planned life free falling in space. She couldn’t even see where she was going to land.
‘Do not let him lead you down a road you might regret.’
Dr. Carrington had warned her to stay away from Warren, but she didn’t listen. She was going to lose her job. There was no way to hide her affair with Warren now. And without the reference from Dr. Carrington and a baby on the way, she wouldn’t get much better than a minimum wage position.
She had a lot to plan. She had written her resignation in her head and just needed to type it up. She would have a currier deliver it first thing in the morning.
She stood facing the door to her apartment. She didn’t even remember getting off the bus, but at least she was home. She stepped across the threshold and a memory flashed in her mind.
She was on her knees. Warren was coming in her mouth and she was holding him tight against her. He had tried to pull away but she held tight to his thighs and swallowed his seed.
Marie thought they’d made a deep connection that day. But he said it required ultimate trust and he never said he trusted her. In fact, he had tried to stop her from doing it.
She treasured that memory as a testament to the love they hadn’t yet confessed. But now the memory sickened her, she was nothing more than his whore.
She screamed, “You bastard!”
A sudden knock set her heart racing and she turned to face the door. It had to be Warren, no one else would know she was here, and he was the last person she wanted to see.
He knocked again. “I know you’re in there, Marie. Open the door.”
Her stomach soured. It was Jake.
“You don’t need to talk, just listen,” he said.
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, Jake. Go away.”
Great! What was she supposed to do now? When she ran from Warren she never expected to get trapped in her own apartment, least of all by Jake.
She turned around to face the interior of her living room and leaned back against the door. The action pushed a heavy sigh from her lungs. She suddenly felt exhausted. Maybe if she ignored him long enough he’d go away.
“So what did superman do to make you cry?”
She placed her hand on her belly affectionately.
“Didn’t he give you what you wanted, Marie? Or maybe you couldn’t tell him what you wanted. You couldn’t tell me.”
“You didn’t care what I wanted you prick! You just wanted a piece of ass.”
“Is that what you think? I’m not the one who was playing with your pussy in the middle of a crowded bar.”
‘No one can see under the table and even if they could I wouldn’t care.’
“If you had told me what you wanted I could have given it to you,” he said.
Marie spun toward the door and gripped the handle. She hesitated then said, “You’re incapable of giving anyone what they want.”
“And what’s that, Marie?”
She squeezed the door knob until her knuckles turned white.
“Did you want me to whisper words of love to you? Is that what he did to convince you to spread those pretty legs of yours?”
Marie yanked the door open. “You—”
Jake pushed her back and closed the door behind him. “That’s better.”
“Get out!”
“Did he tell you he loves you?”
Marie stood her ground but said nothing.
“Did he tell you he couldn’t live without you? That you were the love of his life? Or did he tell you how much he loves your tits and your bare pussy?”
‘They’re perfect…more perfect than I had imagined…I love your bare pussy. It’s so silky and soft.’
“Get out!”
“Your pussy’s still bare isn’t it?”
Marie swung her hand toward his face and he caught her wrist inches from his cheek.
“Nice try, sweetheart, but you’ve got to be quicker than that.”
She yanked her arm from his grip. Her body vibrated with hate.
“I don’t want you here,” she said.
“Look, Marie. I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m trying to help you see this whole thing from another perspective.” He stepped closer to her until their bodies almost touched. “I’m trying to help you sort out the truth from the fiction.”
Anger rushed through her veins as a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. How dare Jake make her cry! How dare he speak to her!
“I’ve never lied to you, Marie.”
Her mind raced, scanning the conversations they’d had. There had to be a lie in there somewhere.
“I told you he was only fucking you to get to me. Did you find out I was right?”
‘He was hitting on you, Marie. He wants you and he won’t take no for an answer…but, if I can make him think you’re with me…That’s not enough. I need him to know he’ll never have you because you belong to me.’
“Did things get a little too serious for him?”
‘The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up.’
She swallowed hard. Even Janet tried to tell her to be careful.
‘Marie, honey, slow down. I know you think he’s going to think this is the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him but you have to at least be prepared if he doesn’t.’
Marie collapsed against the back of her couch. Janet knew and didn’t tell her. Janet knew he was just screwing around, that he wasn’t serious about her and instead Janet tried to convince her to stick it out, to wait for him to confess his love. Why would Janet do that to her?
Janet and Warren have been friends since they were young, of course she would be more loyal to him. Janet wouldn’t want to betray him.
Another tear escaped her eye and she brutally wiped it away with the back of her hand. “I want you to go. I don’t want to do this anymore. Get out or I’ll call the police.”
Jake took a step back. “It doesn’t make me feel good to be right, you know.”
Marie huffed out a laugh.
“Honestly. But it would make me feel good to help you out of this. What can I do to make you feel better?”
She stood up and shoved him toward the door. “Get out, you pig!”
He held up his hands and smiled. “Easy, honey. You’ve already made it quite clear whose bed you prefer. I’m just offering you a way out.”
Marie could feel her strength draining by the second. All she wanted to do was cry herself to sleep. “Please, Jake. I just need to be alone right now. I need to think.”
“If you hang around here he’ll be over soon. He won’t want you to hate him. His ego couldn’t survive if someone didn’t like the fun loving Dr. Jackson. He’s going to try to fuck with your head and make you think this is all for the best. Isn’t that what shrinks do?” He paused. “Is that w
hat you want, Marie? To let him off the hook?”
“Please, Jake,” she whispered.
“Come with me, Marie. I’ll give you a quiet place to think, a place where no one can get to you. You can take all the time you need. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Marie stared at his face, studying his eyes for any trace of what his true motive was. He wasn’t stupid. He knew she’d never sleep with him. Maybe he was doing this to get to Warren.
A spark of anger shot through her heart. It would serve him right. Warren deserved a little pain. Marie shouldn’t be the only one hurting.
And what if Jake was right? What if Warren came looking for her? What would she say? She wanted to see him on her terms, which meant she had to get out of here. She needed time to think.
But she had no money and no job, and now she was pregnant. Unless she got another job quick before she started showing no one would hire her. Even more important, how was she going to avoid Warren? Lincoln wasn’t that big of a city.
Jake was offering her a place to go and right now it was the only option she could see. She couldn’t let Warren be in control anymore. She needed to make some decisions and do what was best for her and her baby. It was time she stopped submitting and took the control back.
Chapter 19
Warren called Marie’s cell phone for the third time in two minutes.
“Damn it!” It went straight to voicemail…again. “Marie, baby, why won’t you talk to me?”
He stood still, just staring at the wall. His mouth was open but he couldn’t find the right words. Finally he said, “Call me…please.”
He disconnected the call and dropped into the leather couch with a heavy groan, the conversation going through his mind over and over again. He felt lost. What the hell had happened? One minute he was talking to his sister and the next Marie was telling him she was leaving.
Something was wrong and he knew it had to have just happened. The investigation involving her and AJ had been dropped. HR had determined Jameson’s accusations were unfounded. Life at the office had settled back into a normal routine.
She had also decided to stay in her apartment for now and stop the house hunting. In fact, the last couple weeks she had stayed at his house every night, and tonight he was planning to ask her to move in with him. That meant he’d done something to devastate her, something today. After all, if anyone else had hurt her she would have told him…wouldn’t she?
She’d said she trusted him and he told her he’d never hurt her, that he’d always protect her. He thought she believed him. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done that would give her a reason to doubt him.
Maybe he’d rushed things between them and she regretted losing her virginity to him. No, damn it! She had never shied away from him since and she always seemed to want it hard and rough.
He had tried to be gentle with her the first time, but his control was iffy at best and she had said she wanted it harder, her actions had demanded it from him. Maybe he should have insisted they take it slow, but he couldn’t regret what they had done, and he would never regret the bond he felt between them.
He groaned when intimate memories flashed through his mind. He could still taste the sweetness of her arousal. He needed to pleasure her, to hold her, and tell her it would be alright. He needed to protect her from whatever was hurting her.
The harder he tried to figure it out the more frustrated he became. None of it made sense. She had been quiet this morning, like something was bothering her. But when he dropped her off before heading to the ER, she had kissed him with so much passion he nearly screwed her in the back seat of his car.
The next time he saw her she was standing in the threshold of his office. The pain he felt when he saw that look in her eyes was enough to suffocate him. The compression in his chest got tighter and he absently rubbed his hand across it.
Waiting for her to call was getting him nowhere. He got up to leave. He had to find her. He was shrugging on his jacket when AJ stopped at his office.
“Calling it a day?” AJ leaned his shoulder on the doorframe.
“Yeah and I’m kind of in a hurry, AJ. Can we talk later?” Warren headed toward him and waited for him to move out of his way.
“I saw her leaving the building. She looked pretty upset. What’s going on?”
The concern in AJ’s voice surprised him. He wasn’t known for his compassion and he had made it very clear he wanted Warren to stay away from Marie. He didn’t expect any trouble from AJ now that he had stopped pushing the limits, but he didn’t have time to explain.
“Look, AJ. I really can’t talk about this right now. I have to find her.”
AJ straightened from the doorframe. “Warren, I know you two have been seeing each other. I haven’t said anything because it has not affected her work and she seems to be very happy. That was until a moment ago.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I know I tried to keep you two apart but I also know a good thing when I see it, and what you two have is a very good thing. Don’t fuck it up.”
“I’m not fucking it up! At least I don’t think I am. Shit! I have no idea what’s going on. She won’t talk to me.”
Warren propped his hands on his hips and dropped his head back. He sighed and closed his eyes. “That’s why I have to find her, AJ. Something is killing her and I don’t know what it is. She won’t talk to me.”
He turned and paced to the other side of his office. He threw his keys on his desk and turned to look at AJ as he ran his hands through his hair. With all the strength he could muster he spoke over the pain in his heart.
“I can’t lose her, AJ. I just can’t. She’s…”
“You haven’t lost her, Warren. She cares about you too much to just walk away. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is. She’s just hurting right now.”
AJ stepped into Warren’s office and dropped his coat on the coffee table. “Tell me what you do know. Maybe we can figure this out. She isn’t going anywhere. She doesn’t own a car and nothing leaves out of this town until tomorrow morning.”
Warren leaned back against his desk. Maybe AJ was right. Besides, Marie wasn’t talking to him right now so hopefully they could figure out what the hell went wrong. He gave AJ the PG version of their relationship and told him what had happened before she walked out.
“I just don’t get it, AJ. You should have seen her when she walked in that door.” He stared at the open doorway and paused for a second trying to ease the pain. “She looked like the world had ended. She was leaning against the doorframe shaking like… And when I reached for her she recoiled like my touch was painful.” He blew out a heavy sigh. The thought that his touch might have caused her pain sickened him. He’d rather die than live without feeling her soft skin against his.
“Was she okay the last time you saw her?”
“Not really. She was quiet this morning. Something was bothering her and she wouldn’t talk about it.” He turned and looked at AJ. “But then she kissed me like she hadn’t seen me in months. I thought she was going to be okay.”
“It sounds like something has been building, at least since this morning. Have you two been arguing about anything?”
“Not recently.” Warren sat on the end of the sofa. “She had been wanting to move so she could start saving money to buy a house.”
“That might complicate things if you two stay together.”
He looked up at AJ. “I know. But she hasn’t said anything lately and she’s been staying with me so much I was going to ask her to move in.”
“When?”
“Tonight.” He rubbed his chin. “I told her I wanted to talk to her about something important. I thought she might suspect what I was going to ask.”
“So, you think she wants out?”
Warren shrugged his shoulders. He couldn’t say the words. The fear that she wanted to leave him was too painful, saying the words would kill him.
“Well, honestly I
think she’s too decisive for that. I think if she wanted out she’d just tell you.”
“I have to do something, AJ. I can’t lose her. You were always my voice of reason. Tell me what I have to do.”
“I don’t know what the answer is. I never did understand women as well as I would like to.” AJ grinned mischievously. “Why do you think I stick to the blonde, bimbo type? They’re a lot easier to manage.”
Warren smiled weakly while his hopes of figuring this whole thing out faded.
He whispered, “Maybe Janet knows what’s going on. She’s Marie’s best friend.”
“Maybe.” AJ shoved his hands into his pants pockets. “It’s worth a shot.”
****
Jake opened the door to his Porsche and helped Marie into the seat. She watched him give last minute instructions to the man who had taken her bags. When he got in and pulled into traffic a sharp pain stabbed her heart. Warren hadn’t shown up, he hadn’t followed her.
“I can get you through this,” he said. “The question is will you accept my help.”
Marie didn’t respond. She really didn’t want to know exactly what kind of help he was talking about. She began to question her decision to leave and her heart ached to be in Warren’s arms. She needed his strength to ease her pain and the farther away from her apartment they got, the more it hurt.
“I could do it a lot easier if I knew what happened?”
She swallowed hard and clenched her fists in her lap. “Nothing happened.”
“Really? Well I would hate to see you when something does happen because nothing has made you rather unpleasant.”
She looked up and stared blindly out the window at the passing scenery. “What’s done is done. I just need time to think.”
“They say it hurts less if you talk about it.”
“Jake, I just need a place to stay for a couple days until I can arrange to get to my mom’s house. I’ll pay you back when I get settled there.”
“I’m not keeping a tab, Marie. Consider it a gift from a friend.”
He glanced at her and when they made eye contact her stomach flipped. What the hell was she doing? There had to be another way out of this mess. Jake didn’t do things for other people; he took what he wanted and threw away what was left.