by Baer, Susan
“Yes, I can see that. I had no idea you were so…” He rubbed the ache in his arm where Jensen had held him.
Jensen smiled. “Miss Adams is just inside there.”
Warren stood still and looked at the doors. He had no idea what he was going to say to her. He turned when the butler started to walk away.
“Jensen…Thanks.”
The old man turned to him and smiled, then bowed his head and returned to the study.
****
AJ waited while Jake poured himself a drink from the bar next to the fireplace. Jake downed the bourbon in one swallow and brought the glass down hard on the polished mahogany. He kept his back to AJ.
“She won’t leave with him. She doesn’t love him anymore. She’s with me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I offered to help her and she accepted. She knows what to expect from me.”
“And what is that?”
Jake poured another drink and threw it to the back of his throat. “I won’t abandon her.”
Jensen appeared at the threshold of the study and AJ held up his hand to halt his entry. Jensen bowed his head and disappeared.
“Jake, Marie called Janet tonight looking for Warren.”
Jake’s knuckles turned white when he tightened his grip on the glass. “Maybe she wanted to say goodbye.”
“She wanted to see him.”
“No! She wants to stay here where she’s safe. I didn’t force her to come here.”
“I believe she was upset and confused, and you took advantage of the situation.”
Jake spun around and glared at him. His face was red and his cheek was starting to swell. “She knows she can trust me. I’ll never make her feel unwanted.”
AJ sighed. “Do you not think she deserves the chance to work things out with Warren before you get involved?”
“No!” Jake threw the glass against the wall. The crystal exploded and the fragments sparkled as they fell to the floor. “He needs to get out of my home. He’s only going to lead her to more hurt. I will show her she can love me again. I can give her everything she’ll ever want.” Jake started to pace from AJ to the door. “I just need to keep him away from her.” He stopped and looked at AJ. “I won’t let him take her from this house. She doesn’t want to see him, she ran from him.”
“Yes, she did run from him. They had a misunderstanding and she became frightened. Now, does Marie not need to hear Warren’s side of the story?”
“No. You don’t know her like I do.” Jake resumed his pacing. “He’s only going to keep hurting her. He won’t realize he’s doing it. He’ll think it’s working but it’s only going to cause her more pain. I can’t let him do that to her.”
AJ walked to the desk and leaned back. He grabbed the top edge on either side of him and took a minute to think. Jake wasn’t making any sense. It sounded like Jake and Marie had a past affair. Otherwise, Jake was delusional. He needed Jake to tell him more and to do that he needed him to calm down. He waited until Jake’s pace slowed and tried again.
“How well do you know Marie?”
“Well enough.” He looked directly at AJ. “The rest is none of your business.”
“Then you must know she loves Warren. Why would you want a woman who is in love with another man? Do you not think you deserve better?”
“She deserves better. Warren doesn’t love her. He threw her away because she’s pregnant. I found her when she ran. She will love me in time.” He stopped and stared at the empty hall beyond the doors of the study. “He hates the fact that I have her.” He turned back and looked at AJ, a look of lucidity in his expression. “That’s what this is all about. He doesn’t love her. He just doesn’t want me to have her. But I won. Dammit! I won this time!”
“So, you think this is a contest and Marie is the prize?”
“Stop twisting my words. You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
AJ straightened and walked half the distance to him. “Jake, take a deep breath and calm down. You need to think about—”
“Fuck you, AJ! Spare me the mind games!”
Jake paced to his desk and stopped. He stared at the portrait of his mother hanging on the wall behind it. “You always sided with him. You two only care about yourselves.” Jake’s voice was gravely and low. He turned to AJ and started pacing the room again.
AJ wasn’t sure if Jake had spoken those last words to him or his mother. Jake’s parents had done a less than adequate job of raising him as far as AJ was concerned. If only they had understood then why Jake was so angry and cruel all the time, maybe they could have done something.
He pushed the thought from his mind with a sigh. The only ones who could have saved Jake were the very ones who had caused his pain and anger.
“Jake.”
When Jake turned toward him with a growl AJ raised his hands in surrender. “Your breathing is erratic. I want you to sit down and take a deep breath. You need to calm down before Marie sees you like this. I know her well enough to know she will not want to be anywhere near you if you are this angry.”
Jake stopped in front of the couch and sat down. He combed his fingers into his hair and rested his elbows on his knees.
“She loved me once. I felt it in her kiss.”
“When did she kiss you?”
“It was before…She became frightened and I didn’t know how to fix it. I explained it to her at dinner. She just needs time to think about it.” He kept his head low.
AJ waited for him to continue.
“She wanted me to do it. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. She just didn’t know how to handle it.” He looked up at AJ. “She loves me, AJ. Not him….She can’t love him…I had her first.”
AJ watched him closely as his breathing slowed. He grew concerned about what Jake was saying. He closed his eyes and exhaled. If Jake had tried to rape Marie, Warren would kill him and AJ knew he’d never be able to stop him.
When they first started looking for Marie, AJ had questioned Janet about Marie and Jake. Warren had told him about the confrontation at Parillo’s and how Jake was hitting on Marie, but Janet claimed there was nothing more to it. She said Jake and Marie were never friends and they always fought when they saw each other. But with what Jake was saying now, there had to be more to that story.
Jake dropped his head again and clenched his hair in his hands.
AJ spoke soft and steady. “Jake. Whatever history you have with Marie is just that…history. She loves Warren and when they have a chance to talk they will get through this rough spot. She is not going to leave him for you. She will follow her heart.”
“No, you’re wrong. She accepted my apology…She said she forgave me. She doesn’t hate me like the rest of you do. Her heart brought her back to me and she’ll learn to love me again. Warren is trying to take her away, but he can’t have her. I won’t let him take what’s mine this time.” Jake’s voice was soft and he continued to stare at the floor.
AJ rubbed his chin with his hand. He realized what this was all about. Jake wanted someone to love him who couldn’t judge him based on his past. More importantly he didn’t want Warren to have Marie because that would mean Jake lost to Warren, again. Just like when they were kids, Warren beat Jake at everything. This was just one more defeat Jake would have to accept.
Chapter 23
Warren stepped into the den and saw Marie sitting in front of the fire. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. The room was dim and her hair glowed as the light from the fire reflected in her silky strands. She was staring into the flames and seemed to be a million miles away.
He exhaled and all the tension and fear he’d been feeling since she had walked out of his office drained away. He loved her and he had to tell her. He had realized it the minute she had left him and now he had to gather the courage to say the words to her. Even if she didn’t love him, he had to tell her what was in his heart.
What a turn
his life had taken. He thought he would’ve had time to get used to the idea before he’d have to admit it, even to himself. He had hoped they could take some time and have fun for a while, but Fate had other ideas. He played, now it was time to pay. He was bound to her for life.
He smiled at the thought. A lifetime with Marie, building a life, a home, and a family with her was euphoric. The payment for his playtime seemed more like a reward. Hopefully she saw things the same way, because whether she wanted him to be a part of her life or not, he had no intentions of letting his child grow up without him.
He slowly walked toward her, never taking his gaze from her beautiful face. No matter what happened from this point forward he would make sure she never doubted his feelings again. Somehow he would make her see how much she meant to him.
When he came to the chair next to hers he spoke softly.
“Marie?”
Marie knew the moment Warren stepped into the room. She wanted so much to run to him, to have him wrap her in his warmth and tell her everything was going to be okay. Instead, she continued to stare into the fire. When he spoke her name her heart fluttered.
“I’m sorry about this. I wanted to tell you myself, but then I heard you talking and…”
She stood up and walked to the desk. She needed space between them. It was the only way she could stay strong. She took a deep breath and turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“You didn’t exactly do this by yourself.”
“You know what I mean. I know you don’t want children right now and I understand that but I’m keeping my child.”
“Marie, I think I know what you heard but—”
“You said you didn’t want a baby screwing things up for you.”
“Christ, Marie, I was just talking. Liz was giving me a hard time about us. She wanted to know when we were going to give her kids a cousin to play with. I was just trying to end that particular part of the conversation.” He paused. “I didn’t want her to know everything about us and to be honest I don’t know how I felt about it at the time. It was a kneejerk reaction.”
“You sounded pretty confident to me. I don’t want you changing your mind because I’m pregnant and then end up resenting me or the baby.”
“What makes you think I’d resent you or the baby? Is that why you ran from me, why you came here? You should have talked to me about this.”
“I was going to but…”
“But what?”
“I panicked.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I had convinced myself that you were going to be excited. Janet told me to expect less from you but I thought she was wrong.”
“Expect less from me? What the hell does that mean?”
“She was trying to tell me you might not be thrilled to find out I was pregnant.”
He took a few steps in her direction. “So you ran away from me without even giving me a chance and went straight to Jake.”
She could see the tension building in his face. “I didn’t go to Jake. He followed me to my apartment. He saw me—”
“You ignored my calls. You shut me out.” He took a deep breath and clenched his fists. “I’ve searched this entire city for you and you call Janet from this house, Jake’s house. Why didn’t you call me? And why the hell did you come here? You could’ve gone to Janet, or even AJ, but instead you decided Jake was the best choice, the man who’s been trying to drive a wedge between us from the start. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I don’t know. I told you I panicked. He said he was going to give me a place to stay. I thought he was going to take me to a hotel and help me leave town today. I was planning to go to my parent’s place.”
“And you trusted him? For God’s sake you trusted Jake Winston to help you run away from me then you told him you were pregnant.” He took another step closer to her. “You should have told me, damn it! I’m the baby’s father. You should have trusted me. When have I not taken care of you, Marie? Why the hell didn’t you trust me?”
“I don’t know. I…I didn’t tell him I was pregnant. I didn’t tell him anything.”
“Then how the hell did he find out?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough! I deserve a better answer than that.”
She stood in silence and shook. He was right. Now she understood the enormity of her mistake. Warren hadn’t given her any reason not to trust him and Jake had given her plenty. But Jake was the safer choice because he didn’t have the power to break her heart, Warren did. It was her insecurity that had come between them, not anything Warren had done.
She looked at his face and saw every emotion he was feeling. The one that hurt the most was the disappointment, because she knew it was for her.
Warren combed his fingers through his hair and exhaled. “Jake said you chose to come here and that you…” He swallowed. “Do you love him?”
“No! Of course not. I tried to call you but I lost my phone. It has all my numbers and—”
“How convenient.”
She stepped forward and stopped just inches from him. She may be a coward but she was not a liar.
“It’s true, not convenient. I was upset. I don’t remember half of what I’ve done since I left your office.”
“Don’t you mean walked out on me?”
“I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“You always have a choice and you chose Jake over me.”
“I did not. I thought you didn’t want our baby and I panicked. I know I’m not as beautiful as the other women I’m sure you’re used to.” She wiped the tear away before it even hit her cheek. “I was afraid the baby would be too much of a complication for you and you would…”
“I would what? Throw you away?”
She nodded.
He shook his head and whispered, “Do you really think I’m that shallow?”
“No,” she whispered.
“And what makes you think you’re not as beautiful as any other woman I’ve dated?”
She rolled her eyes. “Please. Take a look in the mirror, Warren. What sane woman wouldn’t want you? You could have anyone you want.”
“I could say the same about you.”
“I’m not a tall, skinny blonde.”
“And what makes you think I want one?”
“Doesn’t every man?”
“No. We don’t.” His expression softened and he sighed. He took her face in his hands. “Look at me and listen…You, Marie Adams, are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And I love you more than life itself.” He traced her chin with his thumb. “Nothing will ever change that.”
“But—”
He swallowed her protest with a kiss.
She wanted to pull away. She didn’t want him out of some sense of obligation. She put her hands on his chest but she just didn’t have the strength to push out of his arms.
He ran his fingers into her hair and deepened the kiss. When he finally broke the kiss he pulled away, still holding her face and looked into her eyes. “I love you, Marie.”
Her breath hitched. She didn’t have the strength to argue. “I love you too.”
He smiled. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
She melted into him and the heat from his body warmed her. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.
“I’m keeping our baby.”
“You’re damn right you are and so am I.”
“But you said you didn’t want a baby right now?”
“Did you?”
She bit her bottom lip. “No.”
“Come with me.”
He grabbed her hands and walked her back to the fireplace. He sat in the chair and pulled her onto his lap. He placed a feather light kiss to the tip of her nose and lingered there long enough to inhale her scent.
He sighed. “When you walked into my office I was talking to my sister. I was telling her how I felt about you and she went running wild, talking
about us having kids.” He laughed lightly. “Honestly, I was afraid Liz was going to get her wish sooner rather than later. I had a feeling you were already pregnant.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I felt like if I talked about it, it would become the truth. So I kept my mouth shut.”
She sat up straight and looked him in the eye. “And how long have you been keeping your mouth shut?”
He blew out a heavy breath. “A long time.” He paused. “I know I should have told you but I didn’t know how.”
“Told me what?”
He guided a strand of her hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek with his fingertips. “Do you remember the first time I made love to you? You freaked out because you weren’t on the pill and I told you I had taken care of it.”
“You said you were wearing a condom. I saw it.”
“I was…”
“But?”
“It was torn when I—”
“You knew this was happening to me and you didn’t tell me?”
She pushed out of his arms and stood with her back to him.
“I didn’t know I was going to get you pregnant that night. I was hoping luck would be on our side.”
She spun around and faced him. “Luck? You were relying on luck so you wouldn’t have to tell me you lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t know it was going to tear. Shit, if I had known it wasn’t going to last I wouldn’t have bothered to put it on at all.” He paused. “I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you would freak out again. I didn’t see the point in upsetting you if it wasn’t necessary.”
“So you let me find out on my own. I was in shock when Dr. Matson told me—”
“You’ve been to your doctor? I thought you used a home pregnancy test. Why didn’t you tell me you had an appointment?”
“Because I didn’t want to have to say anything if…”
“If it wasn’t necessary?” He stood up and walked to her slowly. He gently laid his hands on her shoulders. “I could’ve gone with you. You didn’t have to do this alone.”
“I was afraid. I thought you might blame me because I didn’t do anything to protect myself. I had put all the responsibility on you and I realize now that was unfair… I still wish you would have told me about the condom.”