Pretty Dirty Trick

by Tabatha Kiss

  Lance Tyler is a single dad?

  Well, this shit just got a whole lot more complicated.

  Sixteen

  Lance

  I pause in front of her door to gather up a little courage.

  This kind of thing has never happened before. Haley and I are thick as thieves, so to speak, but there’s always been an unwritten law of silence when it comes to my personal life. We live in a nice father-daughter bubble and I don’t like poking at it without her input first. This time, however… I got a little too selfish.

  I knock twice on the door and wait. After a few seconds, I knock again, this time just a little bit louder. There’s a soft shuffling on the other side before the knob turns and Haley opens the door.

  She pulls the earbuds out of her ears, grimacing hard. Her jeans and shirt are gone, replaced with her red flannel loungewear and a pink tank.

  “So, how badly did I mess up your date?” she asks.

  “It wasn’t a date,” I say. “It was a work... thing.”

  She steps back and lowers into her desk chair as she sets her iPod down on her open textbook. “Well, she was very pretty,” she says. “For a work thing.”

  I nod. “She was, yeah.”

  “And I know that whenever I have work things over on a Saturday night, I always whip out the good silverware.”

  I flex my jaw. “Uh-huh...”

  “And candles.”

  “Hal.”

  “Dad.” She grins. “It’s fine. This doesn’t have to be weird.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “You’re an adult.” She shrugs. “I’m an adult. And it’s not like you’re ancient. You’re still a young man. Well, not young, but... you know. Not old.”

  I snort. “Well, thanks for that.”

  “Dad, I’ve always been cool with you dating. You know that. It’s just been a while and I didn’t expect... I should have called when the plans changed. I’m sorry.” She glances behind me into the hallway. “Did she leave?”

  I nod. “She did.”

  “Are you gonna see her again?”

  “I don’t know. It’s kind of complicated, actually...” I exhale a bit of tension. “You’re being very mature about this.”

  “Yeah, that’s kind of always been our thing,” she says with a smile. “I assess the situation in a calm, level-headed manner and you make fart jokes.”

  I laugh. “True.”

  “Dad, it’s cool. Just, you know... stick a sock on the door next time or something.”

  I raise a brow. “A sock?”

  She reaches for her iPod again. “Yeah.”

  “You know, I’m starting to get a little nervous about what they’re teaching at that school of yours. Do I need to have a talk with the Dean?”

  “Pretty sure your generation invented the sock thing,” she argues.

  I scratch my cheek. “Actually, I picked that up from your grandpa, so let’s blame him for this. Deal?”

  She laughs. “Deal.”

  I nod. “All right. We still cool?”

  “Of course.”

  I feel a twitch of immaturity. “Because if you have any questions...”

  She groans. “Dad...”

  “About what you almost walked in on...” I lay a hand on my heart. “You can talk to me.”

  “I think I’m good.”

  I smirk. “I don’t want you picking it up on the streets, you know what I mean?”

  She shoves a bud in her ear. “I got it.”

  “So, you just let me know...” I take a step back into the hall. “Do they still do the banana thing in sex-ed?”

  Her jaw drops. “For god’s sake, Dad!”

  “‘Cuz I went shopping earlier and I can demonstrate the correct way for you.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “Oh, come on,” I tease. “What says your old man can’t teach you a thing or two about safe sex?”

  “My existence.”

  “Well, that’s...” I clear my throat. “A fair point, actually.”

  She nods and shoves the second earbud in.

  “Oh!” I say, drawing the subtle roll of her eyes. “I saw someone this week who wanted me to say hi to you…”

  “Who?”

  I smile. “Max.”

  Her head instantly turns up. “You saw Max?”

  I notice the sudden pink her cheeks. Haley and her puppy love crush.

  “He stopped by to assist me with a case he has some experience with,” I say.

  “Is he still in town?”

  “No. He was only here a few hours.”

  She frowns in disappointment. “How’s he doing?”

  “He’s…” My throat clenches. “He’s living a normal life with his girlfriend out in New York. Very normal. Nothing out of the ordinary there.”

  Haley squints for a second. “Okay… Cool. If he comes back through, we should hang out.”

  “I’ll let you know when he does.” I nod, lingering on her doorknob. “Anyway, goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  “Love you.”

  She returns her focus to her book. “Love you, too.”

  “You’d make a good lawyer, you know that, kid?”

  “I know.”

  I close the door behind me and exhale. “Yeah, she knows.”

  Seventeen

  Trix

  I give the two hostess girls a passive wave as I walk into Moira’s Cafe. They wave back and say good morning and I mutter what I suppose could qualify as a hello.

  Sleep didn’t come easily last night. For one, leaving a man’s house all hot-and-bothered doesn’t do nice things for my stress levels. Also, there’s still the whole issue of him and I being mortal enemies. And, oh yeah, he’s a dad — an area of the dating pool that I’ve never thought to wade into in my life.

  The girls will know what to do.

  “Hey, Trix.”

  I pause before rounding the corner and turn back as Nora enters the cafe. “Hey,” I greet, barely audible.

  She walks over, her face looking solemn and heavy. Poor thing needs a drink as much as I do.

  “You, too, huh?” she asks, no doubt sensing the same in my face as well.

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  We say no more as we continue on toward our table.

  Melanie’s already here but her face looks nothing like ours. She’s smiling and biting her lip as she stares at her phone. Bright eyes and pink cheeks. Positively perky.

  What a bitch.

  Nora and I plop into our seats and glare at her.

  After a few seconds of stupid, soft giggles, Melanie looks up at us. “Hi, guys,” she says. “You two look awful.”

  “What the hell are you so happy for?” I ask.

  “Well...” She sets her phone down. “I had sex with a text message last night.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  She grins. “Yep.”

  “Well, I got cockblocked by a child,” I say.

  We look at Nora, her eyes brimming with tears.

  “I think my relationship is over,” she says.

  Melanie’s face drops. “What?”

  I push my own shit aside. “Wait, what happened?” I ask. “When I talked to Clive yesterday, you two were fine.”

  “We were fine,” she says. “Everything was fine!”

  “It wasn’t something I said, was it?” I ask. “Because I was just poking fun.”

  “No.” Nora shakes her head. “It wasn’t you. We had a good laugh about that, actually.”

  Melanie frowns. “About what?”

  I wave a hand. “I’ll tell you later.”

  Nora sighs. “After you left, human resources called to inform me that they came to a decision regarding our relationship and it’s not a good one. They said there’s too much of an obvious conflict of interest and we either have to break up or Clive has to demonstrate his expertise for the position.”

  “He can do that easily,” Melanie says. “He’s just a consultant, right?”


  “That’s what I told him,” Nora says, “but he just... I don’t know, snapped.”

  “Snapped?” I repeat. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “Well, it wasn’t really a snap. More like a pop, I guess.”

  “What did he do?”

  She wipes her eyes. “He said that everything was just happening too quickly for him — which I totally understand, his entire life changed in a matter of weeks — but then, he just sort of mumbled to himself for a while and then he left, said he needed some time to think.”

  Melanie reaches for Nora’s hand on the table. “And then what?”

  “And then... that’s it.” Nora sulks. “He didn’t come home last night and he’s not answering his phone.”

  “What a dick,” I say. “I’m sorry, Nor.”

  “I don’t mind the needing space part. I just wish he’d let me know if he’s okay. That’s all I want.”

  Our server appears over us with a tray of fresh mimosas. He sets it down slowly, his curious eyes on Nora but he doesn’t say anything.

  “Thanks, Rog.” She looks at me as he walks off. “Wait — a child?”

  I groan. “An actual human child. Well, an eighteen-year-old, but still pint-sized.”

  “How did that happen?” she asks.

  I hesitate, quickly remembering that I haven’t exactly told them much about me and Lance but if there’s anyone I can trust with this information, it’s my girls.

  “Okay, you guys remember Lance?” I ask.

  They both grin.

  “The hottie you danced with at the auction?” Melanie asks.

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  Nora gasps. “You hooked up with him?”

  “He kind of... cooked me dinner last night.”

  “Oh, my...”

  “Wait, Lance?” Melanie says. “The Lance? The lawyer in charge of your dad’s case? That Lance?”

  Nora’s eyes widen. “I thought you hated that guy.”

  “I thought I did, too!” I say. “But I was not prepared for the amount of charisma radiating from him at all times like a really, really nice cologne... which he also wears.” I drop my head into my hands. “I’m a bad girl.”

  Melanie chuckles. “So, how does the child fit in?”

  I raise my head. “Oh, right. So, there was dinner and banter and witty repartee, so eventually our lips touched, obviously.”

  Nora nods. “That’s just science right there.”

  “Exactly. We drifted from the table to the couch and the next thing I know he’s doing that thing where he lays me down onto my back and his hand just slowly slides under my skirt and down into my panties.”

  Melanie grunts. “God, I love that.”

  “It’s amazing.” I sigh. “Anyway, that’s when the front door opened and his daughter walked in.”

  Nora’s jaw drops. “Did you know he had a daughter?”

  I shake my head. “Nope.”

  “Wait — eighteen? She’s eighteen?”

  “And he’s thirty-four,” I say. “He knocked up his high school sweetheart, apparently. Luckily, we sat up in time so she didn’t see anything but you just know she knew, you know?”

  “Yeesh.” Melanie shudders. “Walking in on the parents is never fun. Poor thing.”

  “Poor thing? What about me?” I ask. “Remember? The hand slowly inching into my panties? He yanked it away like he touched a hot stove top.”

  “Uh, you ask me, the girl did you a favor,” she says. “You almost rewarded the guy putting your dad in prison with victory pussy.”

  “Well...” I pause. “Okay, when you put it that way, it sounds bad.”

  She squints. “You mind phrasing it in a way that sounds good?”

  “I can’t. I know I can’t. But the threat of mass destruction never stopped me before. Case and point: Marcus.”

  “And how did that work out for you?”

  “Really fucking bad,” I answer. “I should stop while I’m ahead.”

  Melanie nods.

  “I think I’m with her on this one, Trix,” Nora says.

  “I know. Me, too. But...” I take a frustrated breath. “You know, this made more sense to me yesterday after I talked to Clive. Daddy’s a bad influence.”

  Nora raises a brow. “Clive told you to go for it?”

  “Technically, no. He didn’t say much at all on account of him being naked and frightened.”

  “Okay,” Melanie slaps the table, “what the hell did I miss yesterday?”

  “You mean while you were having phone sex with your secret admirer?” I ask.

  Nora startles. “What? Really? They called you?”

  Melanie nods. “He texted me at the auction the other night and then I spent the next twelve hours staring at it trying to gather up the nerve to reply.”

  “Aww,” I say. “I forgot how shy you are.”

  “Once I did, it was like I had nothing to worry about in the first place,” she says. “We just... clicked. Like magic.”

  “Like Robbie!” Nora says, swooning. She instantly stops as Melanie frowns. “I just mean — you know — remember how you were super nervous that night but then the moment you said hi to him it was like — poof!”

  She makes exploding bombs with her hands.

  Melanie deadpans. “Yes, Nora. Like that.”

  “So, the secret admirer is definitely a he, huh?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Definitely a he,” she says with a nod.

  “What’s his name?” Nora asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s he do?” I ask.

  “I don’t know.” She reaches for her glass. “I have no idea who he is.”

  “Do you really get that excited about proper spelling?” I joke.

  “He used the Oxford comma, Trix. I’m fucking smitten.”

  I laugh. “Good for you.”

  “Good for my writing speed, too! I woke up this morning and wrote two chapters. I haven’t done that in weeks.”

  “Nora.”

  We all turn to the sudden tall presence lingering over her shoulder.

  “Clive,” Nora says. She shifts in her chair, her face quickly struck with concern. “Where have you been? What happened to your face?”

  I study him closer, noticing the fresh bruise above his eye.

  He glances around the table, giving me and Melanie a nod. “Can we talk?” he asks her.

  “Yeah—”

  “Hold it,” I say, crossing my arms. “Anything you need to say to her, you can say in front of us.”

  “That’s right,” Melanie adds, her brow pinched and tough.

  Nora nods. “What they said.”

  Clive looks at us one-by-one. “All right.” He clears his throat and reaches into his jacket pocket. He withdraws an envelope and hands it to Nora. “Here.”

  She eyes it. “What is it?”

  “My letter of resignation.”

  Her jaw drops. “What? You’re quitting? Clive—”

  He lowers to his knees. “Nora, I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me but I’ve never felt great about taking that job and we both know it.” He takes her hands. “And if I have to choose between it and you, I’m choosing you. Always.”

  “Clive, we can fight this,” she argues. “You don’t have to—”

  “I don’t want to fight it. I don’t want to work with people who think I’m there just because I’m banging the boss. And I really don’t want people thinking that way of you. It’s disrespectful and it makes me sick.”

  Nora smiles softly. “It does?”

  “Nora, you’re my woman.”

  I frown.

  “—And yes,” he continues, “I say that knowing who my audience is right now but I don’t care. You know what I mean. It’s my job to protect you and if our relationship makes your reputation suffer, then I’ll do the right thing and step back.”

  Nora touches his cheek and sighs. “I really liked having you at the office,” she
says with a pout.

  He smiles. “And I liked working with you. It’s amazing watching you do what you do and seeing how much people respect you. I don’t want to do anything that’ll change that view of you. So, I quit.”

  “Should at least let me fire you so I can give you severance.”

  “I don’t want severance. I have you... and forty-dollar socks. I’m good.”

  She laughs and kisses him.

  “Ah, hell,” I say with a sigh. “Guess I like him again.”

  Melanie leans back, unconvinced. “Where were you last night?” she asks.

  Nora blinks. “Yeah, where were you?”

  “I went to Red Brick to talk to Judy,” he answers. “Asked her about getting my job back. Part-time only, just something to keep me from going stir-crazy.”

  “So, you spent the night in a sex club?” I ask.

  “Kink club,” they all three say in unison.

  I sit back. “Okay. Out-voted on that one.”

  “After I got there, a fight broke out,” he says. “I tried to intervene and got hit in the head. Judy let me lay down in the back for a while and I slept a bit too long. I’m sorry. Roger was there. He can confirm it.”

  My jaw drops. “Is that how you know that guy?”

  Nora kisses his forehead above the bruise. “Are you okay now?” she asks.

  “I’m fine. Woke up feeling like an idiot but...” He brings her hand to his lips and kisses it. “I knew what I had to do. I think it’s the best for both of us but we can talk about it more if you want.”

  Nora bites her lip. “No, you’re right. It’s for the best.”

  He leans in and kisses her. I smile, feeling happy for my friends all over again. Nora and Clive. Happy. Simple. They’re entering that stage of default support and love for each other, no matter what happens. The start of a family. That’s something I’ve always longed for, even with a name like Argento.

  Clive stands up. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. Let you ladies finish up.”

  “I’ll come right home after,” Nora says, squeezing his hand. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I wave at him. “Bye, Daddy!”

  Melanie blows him a kiss.

  Clive turns, keeping his gaze on Nora for a few seconds longer before walking to the exit.